Episode 396: The Judge's House

[00:00:16] Speaker A: The mysterious old radio listening society podcast. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the Golden Age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:36] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:00:37] Speaker D: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:38] Speaker C: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:43] Speaker D: Today we listen to an episode of my choosing the judge's house from Fear on Four. [00:00:50] Speaker B: Fear on Four aired on BBC radio from 1988 to 1993, returning for a final season in 1997. The anthology series was hosted by the man in Black, a figure inherited from the show's Golden Age predecessor, Appointment with Fear, which had in turn borrowed the character from radio's outstanding theater of thrills. Suspense Appointment with fear ran from 1943 to 1955 and featured Valentine Dial as the man in Black. [00:01:18] Speaker C: A subsequent series known as the man in Black enjoyed a short run in 1949 with dial resuming the role. The BBC launched another audio series titled the man in Black, which ran from 2009 to 2011 with Mark Gatis as host. The first four series of Fear on Four featured Edward D' Souza as the man in Black. For reasons unknown, the final series omitted the host entirely. [00:01:38] Speaker D: The Judge's House is based on the 1891 Bram Stoker short story. Like his best known work, Dracula, Stoker took inspiration for the Judge's House from the works of Irish Gothic writer Sheridan La Fanu, especially the stories and account of some strange disturbances in Anger street and ghost stories of the Tiled House, both of which feature haunted domestic spaces, ominous reputations and a lingering evil. [00:02:07] Speaker B: And now let's Listen to the judge's house from Fear on 4, first broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on April 9, 1989. [00:02:16] Speaker C: It's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker, listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:02:29] Speaker E: Welcome once more, ladies and gentlemen, and this week it's story number 13. An unlucky number of course, especially for me, as this is my last story. But only for a while, I hope. [00:02:45] Speaker E: This particular story was told to me by Bram Stoker, the man who created that other man in Black, the gaunt, insatiable Dracula. I like to think that the immortal Count himself enjoys listening to Fear on four accompanied by his three shrouded daughters, the wolves howling outside, the rats scurrying in the blood soaked corners of the room. In fact, rats feature very Much in the story I'm about to tell the story of the Judge's house. [00:03:31] Speaker E: It's an old and rambling house in the Jacobean style, with heavy gables and windows unusually small and set higher than customary in such houses. It is surrounded, entirely surrounded, with a high brick wall. Massively built indeed, it looks like a fortification. And this impression is deepened by the presence on the roof of a small round tower of weathered stone which houses an old alarm bell. [00:04:07] Speaker E: The house is empty. It has been empty for many, many years. All about it there hangs an air of desolation. It stands some distance from the little town of Benchurch, in the midst of a small tract of weedy parkland. But all these things, the absolute, the unutterable loneliness of the place, only makes it seem the more desirable to Malcolm Malcomson this year for his final examinations. He needs solitude, and that is something he will certainly find in this house of all houses. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Mr. Carnford? [00:04:51] Speaker F: The same, sir. Carnford. Carnford and Frogmore estate agents at your service. I'm the conferred in the middle. [00:04:57] Speaker A: How do do? My name is Malcolmson. Malcolm Malcomson. You will have had my letter, Mr. [00:05:05] Speaker F: Malcolmson, to be sure. Yes, indeed. You wanted to rent the old house along the Rivington Road. Yes, yes. [00:05:13] Speaker A: I gather it's available. [00:05:14] Speaker F: Oh, certainly. The owners will be only too delighted, I'm sure. It's a lonely old place, of course. [00:05:21] Speaker A: However, that's exactly why I wanted. [00:05:23] Speaker D: Mr. [00:05:23] Speaker A: Comfort. I think I told you, I'm reading for the mathematical tripods, of course. [00:05:26] Speaker F: Yes, indeed. You wanted peace and quiet. Most necessary. [00:05:30] Speaker C: Yes. [00:05:30] Speaker F: If it's solitude you want, you'll find it in the Judge's house. [00:05:34] Speaker A: Oh, yes, The Judges house, you say. [00:05:37] Speaker F: That's what they all call the old house hereabouts. Used to belong to some old judge. Terrible man. Terrible. Long time ago, of course. A couple of hundred years at the very least. [00:05:46] Speaker A: I dare say. He'll hardly trouble me if it was as long ago as all that, Mr. Carnford, no matter how terrible he was. [00:05:54] Speaker A: Why was he terrible, by the way? [00:05:56] Speaker F: Oh, strange kind of fellow. Always getting people hanged. [00:06:02] Speaker C: Very harsh. [00:06:03] Speaker F: Had a kind of obsession, you know. Very cruel. [00:06:08] Speaker F: As a matter of fact, Mr. Malcomson, I might as well tell you myself before the locals gossip it out of all perspective to you. There's a sort of. Well, a kind of something. A kind of prejudice, you see. [00:06:24] Speaker A: What kind of prejudice? [00:06:26] Speaker F: Oh, nothing much. You know the sort of thing. It's been empty so long, you see, and it's so old and Desolate, you know, the kind of thing that grows up around places like that. [00:06:38] Speaker F: To tell you the truth, that's why we're willing to let you have the place so cheaply, you see, if only to accustom the people around here to seeing it inhabited. [00:06:46] Speaker A: They won't see much sign of its being inhabited, Mr. [00:06:49] Speaker B: Comfort. [00:06:49] Speaker A: I'll be too busy at my books to show myself. [00:06:52] Speaker C: To be sure. [00:06:52] Speaker F: To be sure. And I suppose that as a scholar, you are hardly the kind to worry about these observations. Absurd prejudices. [00:06:58] Speaker A: My dear Mr. Comfort, for the next few weeks, I shall be far too concerned with the mysteries of elliptical functions and marmonical progressions to worry about any other kind of mysteries. Now, if I agree to pay, you say, three months rent in advance, that would be excellent. Then I could move in straight away, do you think? I'm anxious to start work as soon as I can. [00:07:20] Speaker F: You shall have the key this moment. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Oh, and could you perhaps recommend some local woman who could come in to keep the place clean for me and do some simple meals? [00:07:27] Speaker F: I have the very woman you want, Mr. Malcomson. She was in here only yesterday asking if I could find any work for her. Let me see now. I have a note of her name somewhere. [00:07:36] Speaker A: Oh, and Mr. Comfort, I must get someone to bring my things up from the station. [00:07:39] Speaker F: Oh, certainly, certainly. Try Tovey and Sprott in Bridge Street. They're the best, I think. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Right. [00:07:45] Speaker F: Oh, yes, yes, Mrs. Dempster. That's it. Mrs. Dempster. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Mrs. Dempster. [00:07:54] Speaker G: Yes, sir. [00:07:55] Speaker A: Mrs. Dempster, I've decided to have most of my things in the dining room here. [00:07:58] Speaker G: Yes, sir. [00:07:59] Speaker A: It's big enough, you see, and I can work at the table here beside the fire. And my little folding bed will fit nicely into that corner over there. [00:08:08] Speaker G: Yes, sir. But it's not a very cheerful room for you, sir. [00:08:13] Speaker A: Oh, I dare say I shall manage, Mrs. Dempster. I'm too busy to notice if it's cheerful or not. [00:08:18] Speaker G: Yes, sir. All them old portraits and things on the walls is pretty dull for a young man like yourself, sir. There ain't none of them what you'd say. Handsome, sir? [00:08:28] Speaker A: Better and better. I wouldn't want my mind distracted by a gallery of young nudes, for instance. [00:08:36] Speaker G: No, sir, I suppose not. [00:08:40] Speaker G: You know what that is, sir, of course. [00:08:43] Speaker A: Some kind of bell rope, from the way it's hanging. [00:08:47] Speaker G: Yes, sir. [00:08:49] Speaker G: That there alarm bell on the roof, sir. Runs right up, it does. Through the ceiling, they do say. [00:08:59] Speaker G: Well, never mind. It's only gossip. I remember that old Bell ringing once, sir. Caused a dreadful stir in Benchurch. Dreadful? [00:09:11] Speaker A: Ringing away. [00:09:13] Speaker A: You mean, of its own accord? [00:09:15] Speaker G: Oh, no, sir. There was folk living in the house in them days, sir. I reckon it were about 50 year ago, near enough. I was only a girl myself. Some young folk tried it on for a lark, I suppose. [00:09:30] Speaker A: Well, I'm hardly likely to want to try any larks, Mrs. Dempster. [00:09:34] Speaker G: You might need it for other things, sir. [00:09:37] Speaker A: What, for instance? [00:09:39] Speaker G: Well, some says one thing, some says another, sir. It ain't for me to tell tales. [00:09:46] Speaker G: Still, all the same, no kin of mine would sleep here of a night, sir, bell or no bell, there ain't nobody lived in this house for 50 year, not since those young folk went away. And there's no telling why they did go away, Sir. [00:10:02] Speaker A: No indeed, Mrs. Dempster. No telling. So perhaps you had better not tell me yourself, eh? Now, have I got everything, I wonder? [00:10:12] Speaker G: A screen, sir. I reckon you'll need a screen. [00:10:14] Speaker A: What for? [00:10:15] Speaker G: Put round your bed. There's one upstairs. I'll fetch it down. It's very drafty in this big room. You'll need a screen, though. Mind you, I wouldn't like a screen myself, with all kinds of things to put their heads around the sides and over the top to look at me. [00:10:32] Speaker A: This is Tempster. You're not afraid of ghosts, are you? [00:10:35] Speaker G: Well, no, sir. At least, maybe not what you'd call ghosts. [00:10:42] Speaker G: There ain't really such things as ghost, I always say. Ghosts is always something else than what folks think they are. Ghosts is creaky doors and rats and mice and beetles and such. Here, look at that old Wayne's coat around the wall there. There's rats in plenty there, if you ask me. I dare say you'll hear them, too, of a night. [00:11:04] Speaker A: They won't disturb me, Mrs. Dempster. [00:11:06] Speaker G: No, sir, but it's different in the night. And if I was to have a screen round my bed in a room like this, with a thought of that old judge and his hangings and them rats all scampering. Well, I wouldn't. I wouldn't, sir, and that's a fact. [00:11:21] Speaker A: Yes, I'm sure you wouldn't. Well, now, if you'd be good enough to bring me a kettle and some tea things, I can get to work straight away. I. I keep myself going with tea in the night time, you know, Mrs. Dempster. [00:11:30] Speaker G: Yes, sir. But don't sit up too late, sir. Not good for your health. [00:11:34] Speaker A: I'll try, Mrs. Dempster. I promise you I'll try. Oh, and you'll come in the morning to get some breakfast for me, say half past eight? [00:11:41] Speaker G: I will, sir. Well, I. I'll get your tea things in and leave you to it then. [00:11:47] Speaker A: Yes, thank you, Mrs. Dempster. Oh, just one more thing before you go. I meant to ask Mr. Carn for this old judge that used to live here. What was his name? [00:11:56] Speaker G: Well, to tell you the truth, sir, I don't rightly know. I did hear it once began with a J, if I mind. Right. Came here from the west country to settle down for a bit, they do say. Had to lie low or something. He was that unpopular with his hangings. A terrible cruel man, they say. [00:12:17] Speaker A: The West Country? Oh, that wouldn't have been. [00:12:21] Speaker G: Wait. Now, sir, I remember. Yes. [00:12:28] Speaker G: Jeffers. That was it. No, no, Jeffries. [00:12:36] Speaker G: Yes, I'm sure of it. Judge Jeffries. That was the name, sir. [00:12:45] Speaker G: Judge Jeffries. [00:12:53] Speaker E: Sir Malcolm Malcomson, well pleased with the success of his plan to find solitude, settled down for his first night in the Judge's house with his books piled on the table. He put fresh wood on the fire, trimmed his oil lamp and settled himself to a spell of hard work. He went on without a pause until about 11:00 clock and then stopped to make himself a cup of tea. The rest was a great luxury to him and he enjoyed it with a sense of voluptuous ease. The renewed fire leapt and sparkled and threw strange shadows through the ancient, gloomy room. [00:13:38] Speaker E: He sipped his tea and reveled in the sense of his isolation. [00:13:45] Speaker E: And then, only then, did he begin to notice the little rustling, whispering sound that was filling the air. [00:14:02] Speaker A: God. [00:14:05] Speaker B: Rats. [00:14:07] Speaker A: The place is full of rats. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Old Mrs. D was right. [00:14:14] Speaker A: Surely they can't have been at it all the time? I was reading. I must have noticed them. [00:14:21] Speaker A: They're busy enough now at any rate. [00:14:27] Speaker A: What was it the old soul said? [00:14:30] Speaker A: Rats is ghosts and ghosts is rats. [00:14:36] Speaker A: Well, I reckon it's just their way of welcoming a stranger. They've been lonely for too long, that's what it is. [00:14:48] Speaker A: Don't worry, my small friends. [00:14:51] Speaker E: Don't worry. [00:14:52] Speaker A: I've come to keep you company. [00:14:54] Speaker C: Now. [00:14:56] Speaker E: Don'T worry. He smiles to himself and picks up the green shaded oil lamp from the table. He goes round the room wondering that so beautiful an old house had been so long neglected. The carving of the oak on the panels of the wainscot is magnificent. The old portraits above are fine and mellow, although most of them are too heavily covered in dust for him to be able to make out much detail here and there. He sees some crack or hole that is blocked for a moment by the face of a rat, its bright eyes glittering in the light. They seem most concentrated in numbers in the corner of the old room, where the long slender bell rope hangs down beside a great portrait, larger and more imposing than all the rest. He is looking for a chair to stand on, to examine the bell rope more closely at the point where it enters the ceiling, the gathering place, as it seems of the small busy host of rats, when he suddenly becomes aware that just as quickly as it had begun the noise all round him has stopped. [00:16:15] Speaker E: He stays poised in his movement, disturbed unaccountably by the sudden quiet, and in an instant, in spite of his self possession, a tremor of uneasiness passes through him. There, on a great high backed carved oak chair beside the fire, which in the interval has died a little, there steadily regarding him with baleful glowing eyes, is an enormous rat. He recovers himself immediately and makes as if to drive it away. It does not stir, but shows its great white teeth in anger and its cruel eyes shine in the lamplight. With an added vindictiveness. He seizes the poker and runs at it to kill it, but with a flashing glance that is the very essence of hate. It jumps on the floor, runs across the room and scampers up the rope of the alarm bell to disappear behind the great portrait. [00:17:12] Speaker E: Malcolmson stands in the silence, the poker in his hand, half ashamed of his fear, watching the rope still gently swaying. [00:17:23] Speaker E: He shrugs and goes back to his table, and in a little while is so immersed in his studies again that the whole incident is forgotten. He works in the lamplit silence until dawn. And then, at last, worn out, he goes to bed. [00:17:44] Speaker G: Morning, sir. Breakfast. [00:17:47] Speaker B: What? [00:17:48] Speaker A: What's that? [00:17:51] Speaker A: Oh, it's you, Mrs. Dempster. [00:17:55] Speaker E: Good morning. [00:17:56] Speaker G: I brought your breakfast in, sir. It's nearly nine. I thought I wouldn't wait much longer. [00:18:00] Speaker A: Nine o'? [00:18:01] Speaker G: Clock? [00:18:02] Speaker A: Good heavens, I had no idea. Thank you, Mrs. Dempster. Will you put the tray down there? [00:18:07] Speaker G: Looks to me as if you was overdoing it a bit, sir. Real washed out, you look. Was you working late? [00:18:13] Speaker A: Late enough, I suppose. About five o', clock, I think. [00:18:16] Speaker G: You wasn't worried by anything, I hope, sir? I mean in the night. [00:18:21] Speaker A: Oh, I was all right. You had the truth of it when you said the place was full of rats, Mrs. Dempster. They had a regular circus in here last night. [00:18:30] Speaker G: Rats? [00:18:33] Speaker G: I don't owe much with rats, sir. Dirty things. [00:18:37] Speaker A: There was one wicked looking old devil sat up in that old chair by the fire there, then went running up the bell rope. I didn't much like the look of him. [00:18:48] Speaker G: Better take care, sir. Maybe it wasn't only an old devil. Maybe it was the old devil. [00:18:55] Speaker A: Mrs. Dempster, I believe you're not as enlightened as I thought you were yesterday. I believe you think there might be things here after all, in spite of what you said. [00:19:05] Speaker G: Well, it's all very well for you young folk to laugh, sir. It's just I don't hold with nosing into things too much. There's things it's better not to laugh at, if you ask me. Anyway, if I was you, I'd get some rat poison. Though, if it was the old devil. I dare say you wouldn't get rid of him with that. [00:19:22] Speaker A: He won't worry me, Mrs. Dempster. Not when I have a good set of problems in thermodynamics to keep my mind busy. Oh, by the way, there's something I want you to do for me today. You could fit it in during my walk this afternoon, perhaps. [00:19:35] Speaker G: Anything you want, sir. What is it? [00:19:38] Speaker A: Will you dust those old portraits? I want to have a good look at them. Especially that big one there. The one beside the bell rope. [00:19:47] Speaker A: Will you do it? [00:19:50] Speaker G: Yes, sir. Just as you say. [00:19:54] Speaker G: If you want it, sir. If you really want it. [00:20:04] Speaker E: Malcomson rises and has his breakfast. Outside, the weather is damp and unpleasant, and so he passes the time in further study. In the afternoon, the skies clear a little, and he goes for a walk into Benchurch by way of taking exercise. He stays rather later than he'd intended, so it's after dark when he gets back to the house. Mrs. Dempster has gone, leaving a cold supper for him on a tray. He eats it hungrily and once more settles himself down in the great dining room for a night of hard work. [00:20:49] Speaker E: This time the scampering of the little army of rats begins earlier, and they disturb him more than they'd done the previous night. They scamper up and down and under and over. They squeak and scratch and gnaw, getting bolder by degrees. They come out of their holes from the chinks and cracks and crannies and the wainscoting till their eyes shine like small red lamps in the firelight. He rises to his feet and seizes the reading lamp from the table. There is a hasty scurrying sound and the rats go scampering away and disappear. And again, as suddenly as it has begun, he discovers that the endless gnawing and squealing ceases and he's all alone, in utter silence, his heart beating faster than normal. And as he draws a deep breath to steady himself, a long, strange thrill of fear goes through him. [00:21:47] Speaker E: For the first time since Mrs. Dempster has dusted it, he's able to see quite clearly in the lamplight the great portrait that hangs on the wall beside the bell rope. It is the portrait of a judge. The judge in his full robes of scarlet and ermine. The face is strong and merciless, evil and vindictive, with a dark, sensual mouth and a hooked nose like that of a bird of prey. Yet what disturbs the young man most is that the judge in the portrait is seated in a high backed chair of carved oak beside a great stone fireplace. And behind the judge, hanging down from the ceiling, its end lying coiled on the floor, is a rope, a hangman's rope. The room in the portrait is the room in which he stands. The rope in the portrait is the bell rope. He had thought it unusually supple when first he'd seen it, the end of it worn and smooth, as if from much movement in a running noose. [00:22:52] Speaker E: He swings round towards the fireplace to look at the actual counterpart of the chair in the portrait. And he recoils in such fear that. That the green shaded lamp nearly falls from his hand. In the armchair, the judge's armchair, sits the enormous rat he had seen there the night before. And its eyes, as they regard him, have a peculiar brilliance. They glow with an unutterable malignance. He has seen those eyes before. They are the eyes, the identical eyes. Small, cunning, intolerably evil, in the portrait above his head. [00:23:28] Speaker E: For an instant he stands frozen. Then he leaps forward, his hand upraised. But the creature again forestalls him. With a sudden swift movement it jumps from the chair and scuttles rapidly across the room, then up the swaying bell rope into a jagged dark hole in the corner of the canvas of the portrait. [00:24:07] Speaker A: My dear David. [00:24:10] Speaker A: It is nearly 2am. [00:24:14] Speaker A: I should be working at my books. For some reason I'm unaccountably nervous and am unable to settle. [00:24:22] Speaker A: To calm my mind. I've taken up my pen to write to you. I know I owe you a letter in any case. [00:24:31] Speaker E: Outside. [00:24:33] Speaker A: The wind has risen and seems to be growing always in strength. [00:24:40] Speaker A: It is suddenly strangely cold, in spite of the great fire I've built. [00:24:48] Speaker A: A few moments ago I had to take a neat brandy or I might have been unable to steady my hand to hold the pen at all. [00:24:58] Speaker A: I think you know that I am not a particularly Imaginative man. If anything, I can be blamed for always taking a materialistic view of things. [00:25:10] Speaker A: Yet. [00:25:12] Speaker A: As I sit here in this ancient room. [00:25:16] Speaker A: I am oppressed with a sense of evil. [00:25:23] Speaker A: You did not tell me when you recommended this old house as the very place I was looking for to find peace and quiet, that there were any dark associations attached to it. [00:25:33] Speaker A: When I heard strange rumors concerning it, I paid no attention to them. Even now I try to regard them as irrational superstitions. [00:25:42] Speaker A: Yet an hour ago. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Less than an hour ago, I found myself in the grip of mortal terror. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Indeed, it is to calm my nerves from the experience that I write to you now. [00:25:59] Speaker A: The house here is infested with rats. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Normally, I'm not afraid of rats. Indeed, at first I almost welcomed their scamperings as a little sound to keep me company in the night. [00:26:13] Speaker A: But here, in this very room. [00:26:19] Speaker A: I saw a rat that was bigger than any I've ever seen in my life before. [00:26:25] Speaker A: And there was also a. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Something all about it that I cannot express, but which seemed to me to be charged with evil. [00:26:38] Speaker A: What impressed and terrified me most as I looked at it was that its eyes, red, dreadful eyes, were. And I must say it, however wild and strange it may seem, were human eyes. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Recognizable human eyes. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Above me here, as I sit at my table, is a portrait. [00:27:06] Speaker A: And when I raise my own eyes to look at it. [00:27:15] Speaker B: No. [00:27:17] Speaker C: No. [00:27:18] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:27:23] Speaker E: He sees in the shrouded glow of the lamplight a million little eyes regarding him from every crack and cranny. Unwinkingly they gaze. He sees small furry bodies gathered close in a circle all around him on the high backed chairs, on the frames of the pictures, clinging motionless along the very top of the bell rope itself. The bell rope is quickly laden with rats. Yet his fear does not spring from their eyes. He does not only fear the rats. It is something else that he sees that freezes him to the spot in the center of the great portrait. Above him, the portrait of the Judge is a huge, irregular patch of brown naked canvas, as fresh as when it was stretched on the frame. The background is as before, but the figure, the central figure, has disappeared. The Judge is no longer there. [00:28:13] Speaker E: In the oaken chair. The chair on which had sat the monstrous red eyed rat sits. Now the Judge himself. His robes of scarlet shine in the flicker of the firelight. On his head, above the evil eyes, a black cap. In his withered white hands is the supple end of the bell rope, the hangman's rope. And even as Malcolmson stares in a paralysis of fear, the monstrous stooping figure rises, still smoothing the end of the rope in his fingers and forming it to a coil and then to a noose. And with his eyes aglow in a red flame of triumph, he advances towards the helpless figure of the student, his long strong scarlet arms stretched out to him. [00:29:24] Speaker E: When the alarm bell of the Judge's house sounds out across the countryside, a startled huddled crowd assembles, led by an anxious Mrs. Dempster. [00:29:36] Speaker E: Lights and torches appear, hurrying over the fields and through the desolate parkland. The bell still clangs as the white faced helpers force their way into the great dark house and move, terror stricken, into the dining room. As they crowd in the doorway, wide eyed and silent, they see why the bell is sounding. Swaying slowly back and forth at the rope's end is the twisted body of the young student on the face of the judge in the portrait beside him is a smile of dark, malignant triumph. [00:30:44] Speaker E: And now, sadly, it's time to bid you au revoir as I return once more to the depths of Broadcasting House. Thank you for sharing my 13 stories. And a big thank you, of course, this week to David Timson, who played the unfortunate Malcolmson, Tessa Worsley, who was Mrs. Dempster, and Norman Bird, who played the part of Carnford. The story was written by Bram Stoker, adapted by John Keir Cross, and directed by Jerry Jones. My name is Edward d', Souza, your man in black, bidding you au revoir. [00:31:38] Speaker B: That was the Judge's House from Fear on four here on the mysterious old Radio Listening Society podcast once again. I'm Eric. [00:31:47] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:31:47] Speaker D: And I'm Joshua. [00:31:49] Speaker B: All right, so Joshua, you selected this. Before we dive into opinions and such, what brought this on? [00:31:57] Speaker D: Well, as the days get shorter and colder and bleaker and darker, I get a little depressed. I am not a fan of winter, but the one thing I do like about this time of year is that it is the perfect environment in which to listen to or read ghost stories. So I knew here going into December I wanted to bring a ghost story. And originally I was going to bring a CBS radio mystery theater adaptation of an Edith Wharton ghost story, the Castle of Kerfal. And then I listened to it again and I realized this is a lot more interesting to discuss than listen to. And I was like, most of what I like about it is pretty nerdy and obscure and I really wasn't in the mood to defend it. [00:32:48] Speaker B: Plus, you saved us a half an hour of Prep time. [00:32:50] Speaker D: Yes, 45 to 55 minutes, depending on whether there's commercials in a CBS, relentless. [00:32:56] Speaker C: Badgering has really paid off. [00:33:00] Speaker D: But then when I was thinking about ghost stories, I started to think about how I have never been able to find a classic Victorian slash Edwardian style ghost story that pleases any Eric. And suddenly I went, bram Stoker. [00:33:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:19] Speaker D: The Judge's House. We have never, ever done an adaptation of that. So then I went through and listened to the various adaptations of the Judge's House. And for reasons we'll get into, I think this is hands down the best that I listen to. And I think Eric's going to enjoy it. [00:33:40] Speaker B: So I'll start with our introduction. You know, Bram Stoker is heavily influenced by these pieces by La Fanu for this story for the Judge's House, not the least of which is that he also was highly influenced, if not stealing, Carmilla from La Fanu for Dracula. You certainly get the feeling that Stoker was just like, what's that dude gonna write? And then making a buck off of it. And I am, at the time of the recording of this, I am one week away from my adaptation of Carmilla going on stage. So that'll. So it's a nice tie in there, too. I am very excited for middle school students. [00:34:27] Speaker B: It's for high school. [00:34:28] Speaker D: Okay. Still really Sapphic. Really? [00:34:31] Speaker B: Yeah, we took some stuff out. [00:34:33] Speaker C: Incredibly gory. [00:34:34] Speaker B: Yeah, we took some. Some stuff out. And I. Yes. Oh, I took a lot of liberties, as I say in my director's notes, inspired by. [00:34:44] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:34:44] Speaker B: In other words, there's a female vampire named Camilla. Pretty much ends there. No, I'm just kidding. [00:34:49] Speaker D: Anyway, where was all your adaptation? Bloody lesbians. [00:34:53] Speaker B: That's the major stuff I cut out because. [00:34:59] Speaker B: Anyway, parents have phones, Right. It's actually Carmilla Reckoning by vampire. And in mine, they are ridding the world of evil, not just feasting. You know what I mean? They're not just vampires, they're actually pinpointing certain evil people. [00:35:18] Speaker D: So it's Dexter. Yeah. [00:35:21] Speaker B: Also for kids. And it's got an ambiguously moral ending, like. Of, like, is vengeance like Lost. Yeah. [00:35:31] Speaker B: I was excited about the opening 35 seconds ago. I was like, oh, this is going to be so good. And then I realized I just wrote Dexter Lost. [00:35:41] Speaker C: I'm sure the shoulder. [00:35:42] Speaker D: Just in general, when you take a classic piece of literature and then cut it apart and drastically change it, I'm not the one to go to for an enthusiastic response. [00:35:52] Speaker B: You know, a lot of my stuff that I write is like, oh, that's an interesting story. And I just turn it on its head. Most of it's historical stuff. Like I'll discover some piece of weird history and I'll go, oh, I'm gonna totally make that into a thing and change it to fit my needs anyway. [00:36:08] Speaker C: Like Bram Stoker. Like Bram Stoker bringing it back. [00:36:11] Speaker D: Vampires change people to fit their needs. [00:36:14] Speaker B: Right? Right. Oh, who's the guy that wrote Angels and Demons and the. [00:36:19] Speaker D: Oh, Brown. Dan Brown. [00:36:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that's who I am. Yeah, I just cherry picking some stuff to cram into my stuff. [00:36:26] Speaker C: I tell everyone, Eric, you're like the. [00:36:27] Speaker D: Dan Brown who makes very little money. [00:36:30] Speaker B: Right. [00:36:33] Speaker C: I mean, as long as we're not talking with radio. Kudos to Dan Brown. [00:36:36] Speaker D: He. [00:36:36] Speaker C: He could write a page turner. [00:36:38] Speaker D: Yes. [00:36:38] Speaker B: Anyway, so where were we? Oh, do I like it or not? Oh, here we go. First of all, Fear on four is an amazing series. Right. They are close to a masterclass and how to produce radio drama. They really understand it really well. I'm going to disappoint Joshua and then I'm going to make him happy. Ready? [00:37:01] Speaker D: Whoa. [00:37:02] Speaker B: I think. [00:37:03] Speaker D: Are we married? [00:37:07] Speaker B: I think that this is good. I love a lot of it. Right. But coming up for our Patreons this month, we will be doing some Mr. James. And just to kind of ruin this for. [00:37:25] Speaker D: Oh, no. Those were my backup stories, in case you were convinced by these. [00:37:30] Speaker B: I loved those. [00:37:32] Speaker D: So we're really confusing the general audience right now. However, if you would like to find out what we're talking about, go to patreon.com I want to hear some radio. [00:37:40] Speaker C: Episodes that we enjoyed much more than this. [00:37:44] Speaker B: But as far as the traditional holiday ghost story, Emma or James, I did find some that were like jaw dropping to me. This was good. And I think the problem is, and this also happened with me in Three Skeleton Key. The whole idea of rats doesn't frighten me enough to make me get on the edge of my seat. And I swear to you, I think that's what the issue is like. Yeah, rats. [00:38:11] Speaker E: You know. [00:38:13] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:14] Speaker D: Do you think it runs on an engine of rats are frightening or that it's the behavior of the rats, the unusual determination they have. It's also one of those stories, as we've noted many, many, many a time, that some of the images just walk that fine line between horror and comedy. [00:38:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:35] Speaker D: Like when he's studying and he looks up and there's just a rat sitting in the armchair smoking a pipe. [00:38:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:44] Speaker D: But the whole context specifying with human. [00:38:48] Speaker C: Like makes it right. When you say human eyes on an animal, you mean dog. You can see like yeah. So little puppy eyes. You're right with little puppy eyes. [00:38:55] Speaker B: Right? [00:38:56] Speaker E: Right. [00:38:57] Speaker B: I will say that the woman who's hired to be his housekeeper. I thought that the dialog. And granted this may be taken from the actual story, but the dialogue was repetitive. Like at a certain point I would say, will you cut it out? Like she just won't stop telling him. [00:39:18] Speaker C: Trying to save his life. [00:39:19] Speaker B: Trying to save his life. I guess. Yes. I would have liked a hint of that. Where she was like, oh, geez, you know, you should be careful. Yeah, I think it'll be fine. Okay. And then that would be it. It seemed to go on too long. That part of it. [00:39:32] Speaker D: You just don't like this structure for ghost stories. That's part of the classic ghost story is you are warned over and over. The reader knows it's coming. Everyone knows it's coming. And it's somebody who just will not take all the exit ramps that are pointed out to him until the bitter end. [00:39:53] Speaker B: Right. [00:39:55] Speaker C: I was thinking on that topic of the classic horror story has I'm going to hold my hands in front of me kind of wide. This much exposition and then close my hands together. This much payoff. Where contemporary horror stories will have very tiny amount of exposition like, this is what's at stake. Go. And then lots of what happens when that all happens. Not a criticism, but just to say that in its original form, the horror story was all about setting up that, you know, like for sure, 100% inside and out. What is at stake when the sun. [00:40:30] Speaker D: Goes down and the thing happens and that building dread. Also, this type of ghost story often centers this mundane, educated rationalist as the protagonist slash victim. Often. Sometimes they're not the victim. In a lot of Mr. James stories, they merely observe something strange that makes them go forward and question their beliefs in a rational world. Horrible. I know. [00:40:59] Speaker D: So I think that is part of the formula where you have an educated person studying for a prestigious math test. And this is a house cleaner. [00:41:12] Speaker B: Right. [00:41:12] Speaker D: So her concerns are dismissed as superstitious of some kind of just uneducated Village People. [00:41:23] Speaker C: Ymca. [00:41:24] Speaker D: Ymca. [00:41:27] Speaker B: You just rewrote this beautifully. I would have loved to have seen this or heard this. [00:41:32] Speaker C: Because you can't stop the music. [00:41:37] Speaker B: Way to pull a B side Night out. There's only two songs I can name that must. [00:41:43] Speaker C: They're made for TV movie. [00:41:45] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Even deeper. Tim. [00:41:48] Speaker C: I should talk about this radio episode to add my own repetition to what Eric said about fear on four. One of the things I really love about the series is they have the Pristine technical skill that just BBC and UK radio just does. It's just kind of par for the course. But also the artistry to not make it just a clinical exercise. [00:42:12] Speaker E: Right. [00:42:13] Speaker D: Fear. [00:42:14] Speaker C: And Ford takes advantage of both of those skills. [00:42:16] Speaker B: The man in black, the man playing in Valentine Dial. I was struck this time that I have. It was originally not whoever this guy is. Whoever this guy is. This guy is exquisite. I love listening to him. And then I realized, take away, take without the lisp. It's Karloff. He's got a Karloff esque narrative delivery to him that is overwhelmingly warm and sinister at the same time. It is beautifully paced and told. [00:42:54] Speaker D: He's at a horror dinner party. [00:42:56] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:42:58] Speaker B: And part of the allure of that Grinch cartoon is that narration by Karloff is so beautiful. It's so well done on how he delivers it. Anyway, I just was really. I could listen to that guy all day, whoever he is. I think he's. And the ending, by the way, because it said that was my last one for now. Hopefully I'll be back. Right. You know. [00:43:21] Speaker D: Yeah. It was the end of a series. [00:43:22] Speaker C: Slow walk to the door. [00:43:23] Speaker B: Slow walk to the door and out and done. I was like, french kiss. [00:43:27] Speaker D: Nice. [00:43:28] Speaker B: Beautiful, everybody. So I. I loved him a lot. And I loved how they decided when he was going to pop in and narrate. It was interesting because that's always a problem with Aud drama. Right. What are the characters going to tell you what's going on? Or are you going to have a narrator tell you what's going on? Or are they going to self narrate? [00:43:50] Speaker D: And one of the things I thought was clever in this adaptation was how they handled the narration of the ending. Because if they're following the story, and they did follow the story really, really, really closely, the end isn't full of dialogue. It needs to be described. But it's also. [00:44:11] Speaker D: Really hard to spend two thirds of the story with a character and then have the man in black come in and narrate the end. So one of the additions they added was to have Malcolm Malcomson writing a letter to his friend David. [00:44:26] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:44:27] Speaker D: So that David Davidson must be. [00:44:29] Speaker B: Yes. [00:44:31] Speaker B: I noticed that too, that they. [00:44:32] Speaker D: It's to get his voice, to get his emotions, to get his panic as he describes the situation into the story. Instead of all the things you just. That you loved about the man in Black, his calmness, his charm, his sinisterness is the wrong tone to be narrating this terrifying ending of the judge coming to life. [00:44:54] Speaker B: And I'm glad you Picked up on that because that's a risky thing to switch gears on storytelling. And I thought it worked really well. And you're exactly right, Joshua. I think they looked up and said, how are we going to convey this? And we're gonna have to switch gears and hope it works. And, you know, it's tropey. You know, here's my letter. But it works. [00:45:18] Speaker C: So I'm to continue my line of thinking there of. So in praising Fear on four as this, they do this fantastic work. That meant that my enjoyment or criticism of this episode is gonna be based purely on my opinion of Bram Stoker, apparently. So I. I realized when I was thinking about this, like, so Bram Stoker, icon of the whole genre, whose work has touched just about everything for the last hundred fifty years or so. I've got some ideas for you. Something made me punch this up a little bit. That being said, in all that time, I feel like some of these narrative tricks have not aged well, and some still pack a punch. Like, I felt the. He's not in the painting anymore. He's in the chair. Like, yep, yep. [00:46:05] Speaker B: Okay. [00:46:06] Speaker C: But then the ending of the bell's ringing because a guy's hanging from the end of it is like, wow, that's grisly. And it hits really hard, which is, dang, Bram Stoker. [00:46:17] Speaker B: Yeah. And I will agree with you, and I'm so glad you said it. When his picture was missing from the painting, I had the same reaction. Okay. [00:46:28] Speaker C: It's the Spirit Halloween trick, right? [00:46:30] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:46:32] Speaker B: And I'm sure you loved it. [00:46:34] Speaker D: When I first read this story, I was surprised by it in that I felt the story misdirected me successfully. We have the opening lines from the Caretaker. It talks about, there ain't really such things as ghosts. I always say ghosts is always something else than what folks think they are. You know, ghosts. And she goes on, ghosts are creaky doors. They're this. They're rats. And I honestly thought it was going to be a story, perhaps supernaturally charged, but about the rats. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:08] Speaker D: Not that I was terrified by the idea of an entity coming off a painting, but I was surprised that a ghost appeared, a dead figure appeared in the story, because it successfully made me think it was going to be something else. [00:47:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:23] Speaker D: Even though I think beat for beat, once that happens, you anticipate things just a little before, but I think in the way you're meant to in horror. [00:47:33] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:33] Speaker D: At least this style of horror, this is not about jump scares. This isn't a contemporary horror film. You're Meant to sense it and dread it right as it's about to happen. [00:47:46] Speaker B: Did anybody else picture their first apartment ever describing that place? No. All the dust and how bad it was. And it had rats. And it was like what I could afford. And I guess I gotta lay here while I listen. Had. [00:48:00] Speaker C: It sounded so much nicer than places like this. This woodwork, the Wayne's coating like nice. Got some built ins. [00:48:08] Speaker B: I've lived in some old homes that, you know, weren't upkept that here in Minneapolis, in south Minneapolis, there's a. A lot of mansions that have been run down, but you can still rent rooms in them and stuff. And that's primarily what I did for a long time in my 20s, is living these old mansions that were just not upkept very well. And I had an evening where I heard squeak, squeak, squeak, right in a place I lived in. Threw the lights on to see three mice dragging backwards with a bag of peanuts in their mouth and dragging it across the floor. Stealing my bag of peanuts. [00:48:48] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:48:49] Speaker B: So. [00:48:50] Speaker C: Same exact thing as a story. [00:48:52] Speaker B: It reminded me a lot of that moment. [00:48:56] Speaker D: His judges, peanuts. [00:48:59] Speaker B: The nonchalance of him coming to terms with their. Well, there's a lot of rats in this house. Well, I won't bother you. Good night. Rats. Boy, that would not have been my answer. [00:49:09] Speaker C: Yeah, I would have had a hard time with that. [00:49:12] Speaker D: I think that is a sign of another time. Yeah. You just lived alongside pests at that time. If you weren't rich enough. And even then you don't eat the kids. [00:49:23] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:49:24] Speaker D: You either dealt with too many cats or too many rats. [00:49:27] Speaker B: Yeah, you're absolutely right. The amount of patience we have for nature getting in our house is a lot less than it was. It just. I think it's less. And we're hermetically sealed at this point. Or at least we try to be. [00:49:41] Speaker D: The other thing about the painting that I found interesting is the scene where he can't make out the figures in the painting very clearly. And he asks his housekeeper, Mrs. Dempster, to dust them. Dust them. And there's always, always, like in Mr. James stories and this type of ghost story, that curious act that seals your doom. And I felt like that was it. It's not explicit here at that moment. [00:50:11] Speaker C: And when struggling for the name. Am I thinking of the wrong one? [00:50:13] Speaker D: Oh, no. Yeah, for the judge. Like it's with a J. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jennings James Jeffries. Judge Jeffries, which is a historical figure, a real Judge Jeffers. Right. [00:50:25] Speaker C: They start with Jefferson. No, it's Jeffers Yeah, he was the. [00:50:28] Speaker D: I think, original hanging judge that. That that kind of notion is based on. He's a historical figure, so he. [00:50:35] Speaker B: Damn. [00:50:35] Speaker D: James writes a story that actually features him in his historical context. This particular judge. [00:50:40] Speaker B: So Stoker, Dan Browned. [00:50:44] Speaker D: Stoker didn't name him, but everyone knows that's who he was referencing. So the Fear and four adapters just gave him the historical name. [00:50:52] Speaker C: Stoker was trying to. Stealing your doom. [00:50:53] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:50:56] Speaker D: Trying to conjure this image of this particular judge. But I find it interesting too, in a kind of. Again, back to the educated student rationalist puts this clearly more knowledgeable housekeeper in this position where she seems to know, you probably don't want me to dust these and she has to do it. And while it's not explicit, I think there's a suggestion that it's in the revealing of the judge that allows him to escape. [00:51:30] Speaker B: It also, though, opens the door and begs the question. [00:51:35] Speaker B: Plot wise, I guess, how does she know that dusting them is going to create that problem? Why is she reluctant to dust them? [00:51:44] Speaker C: The backfill that exists in most of these ghost stories that I just brought with me was because the last eight people in this house said, hey, these paintings are really dusty. [00:51:53] Speaker B: But she knew that that's what she should have been going on and on about. Whatever you do, don't dust these things. [00:51:59] Speaker C: And go back in and reapply the dust. [00:52:04] Speaker D: I'm not suggesting it was that conscious on her part or that literal, but she is trying to get this guy to maybe not even stay here or to maybe get out and walk a little bit more. Don't spend so much time here. And he is expressing even more curiosity, not just with his studies, but with the space. And he identifies this as an evil space and that the last people who lived here was it 50 years ago, went running screaming out of the place. [00:52:34] Speaker C: And that he wants to live in this one room. It's not even. The place has more rooms than this, but you just want to be here. [00:52:40] Speaker D: He likes the evil room. [00:52:42] Speaker B: I also like the description though, of at the beginning of just how fortified the house was for privacy. Like it is as sealed off from the world as you can possibly with the walls that you can't see over and all of the description of the seclusion of it. [00:53:02] Speaker D: Yeah, and a cruel, vicious judge would wanna, if he retired somewhere, would know he had enemies. And just the fact that there is this alarm bell set into his house. It's another nice production note at the very beginning, as the man in black is NARRATING and describing the village and the house. You hear that bell and you don't know its significance yet. It just seems like audio atmosphere. And then by the time you get to the end, you go, has Malcolm Malcomson just been hanging from that bell the entire time he's telling this story? [00:53:32] Speaker B: Right. [00:53:33] Speaker D: And it's gonging away in the background. The other thing, before we wrap up, I want to express about these ghost stories. It's something I think I realized about them as I was listening to a couple different adaptations. I think one of the important elements to this classic style of ghost story is that these are supernatural or horrific intrusions upon the mundane, upon these quotidian moments, these quiet people living a quiet life. And so I think that's why Fear and Four, because it focuses on real naturalistic performances, is not afraid of small moments, uses music, incidental music, very sparingly. And when it does come in, it's small. It's accent, it's nothing too strong. It really supports the genre. Whereas I listened to a Hall of Fantasy version and it just comes out of the gates. You know, if it's a 1 to 10 scale, it's at 12, and that organ is stinging and the narrator is talking like this. And it is just so overblown that you're just exhausted. By the time you get to the Judge, there's nowhere to go. [00:54:52] Speaker B: It's a really good point. Fear and for. I love how they take everyday normal people and put them into extraordinary circumstances. Which by the way, is a Hitchcock trope as well. And so I love that, you know, just like I'm wandering around minding my own business and now I'm in this hellscape, you know. [00:55:09] Speaker D: Yeah, but that is rarely done in the golden age of old time radio, at least in the horror genre. I mean, think of all of our favorite horror radio series. Our like Inner Sanctum, Lights Out. And these are not subtle, they have other charms. But it's not until you get to things like Quiet Please where you start to see horror. Like thing on the four Ball board that uses the mundane setting to achieve the same kind of horror. Or something like the House in Cypress Canyon, which is very much a classic ghost story. [00:55:47] Speaker B: Well, should we vote? Yeah, sure, I'll start. Fear and Four is really well done, top to bottom. It's an extraordinary class in how to do radio drama. La Fanyu's story of the Judge I think is okay. I don't think it was as compelling as Other Fear on four stories or other things of that nature or even Some Victorian ghost stories that I do like, amazingly. But you're right. I, I, this is not my genre. That this is not, you know, this type of stuff. But overall, Overall, I would give this an A plus without a classic attached to it, but I thought it was, it was great. [00:56:35] Speaker C: Bram Stoker contributed at least a little bit to this. [00:56:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:38] Speaker D: Who? [00:56:43] Speaker C: It's excellent. To say it stands at this time is to kind of. [00:56:47] Speaker B: Yeah, it's the 80s. [00:56:48] Speaker C: Dumb, but. [00:56:49] Speaker B: Right. [00:56:51] Speaker D: That was a long time ago. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Shut up. [00:56:53] Speaker C: Shut up. [00:56:54] Speaker D: Nightfall was from the 80s, guys. And that does not always stand the test of time. [00:56:59] Speaker B: Please stop saying that. [00:57:01] Speaker D: We don't stand the test of time, guys. [00:57:04] Speaker B: That's what it is. [00:57:05] Speaker C: But even, like, in comparison to Nightfall's CBS radio, like, Fear on four is good. We've said that. And it is hard to then not put this in the context of, like, other Fear on Fours that I just go crazy for. [00:57:17] Speaker B: Right. [00:57:18] Speaker C: This is excellent and I really enjoy it. And I don't want to say anything bad about it, except for the other ones are even better to me. [00:57:24] Speaker B: Correct. That is exactly how I feel. [00:57:26] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, I agree that this is a great piece of radio drama. It stands the test of time. I mean, all jokes aside about the 80s being so long ago, I mean, if someone played this for me today, I would believe it was made today. Yeah. [00:57:43] Speaker B: Yep. [00:57:43] Speaker D: Yeah. I would not think it's 40 plus years old. [00:57:47] Speaker B: Correct. [00:57:47] Speaker C: Jesus. [00:57:48] Speaker B: Which is where Nightfall fails. And that's only because of the music. [00:57:53] Speaker D: Sometimes other aspects of it. But we're not here to relitigate Nightfall. [00:57:59] Speaker D: So. Yeah, I thought this was great. And I think I like the Judge's House more than you guys do. I will take it over Dracula every day. I am the Ouch that thinks Dracula is historically significant. I've read it twice. I don't see myself reading it again. And it's fine. [00:58:20] Speaker B: Let's be clear. On my Dracula obsession, Lugosi's 1930 purely sexual. [00:58:25] Speaker D: Right. [00:58:27] Speaker B: It's purely that film. That's what I love. [00:58:31] Speaker D: You don't need to defend liking the book. I'm just saying, to my taste, I. [00:58:33] Speaker B: Don'T even like the book. [00:58:34] Speaker D: I love ghost stories more than I like vampires. It's not even really a judgment on Dracula. I prefer a good ghost story. And I think this ticks a lot of the boxes of a ghost story while surprising me in a couple interesting ways. [00:58:49] Speaker B: Right. [00:58:49] Speaker D: Cool, cool, cool. [00:58:52] Speaker B: Tim, tell him stuff. Cool. [00:58:53] Speaker C: Please go visit ghoulishdelights.com that is the home of this podcast of course you can find this podcast wherever you get your podcasts. [email protected] you'll find other stuff that we do. Links to our live shows, to our store. If you want a T shirt or a mug or a hat hat or a tote, go to ghoulishlights.com click on the buy stuff link. That's not called that, but you'll find it and buy a thing. Awesome. And you'll also find a link to our Patreon page. [00:59:24] Speaker D: Yes, go to patreon.com themorals and support this podcast. If you're curious about the cryptic remarks Eric was making earlier in the podcast about some Mr. James radio adaptations that he actually really liked, well, that is for another podcast that we do that is just for our patrons. If you support at one of the higher tiers, you get a bimonthly, roughly bimonthly Mysterious Royal Listening Society podcast where we discuss radio shows from the BBC. So I mean that's worth it alone, people. So go to patreon.com themortals and become a member of the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society today. [01:00:11] Speaker B: Hey, the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society Theater Company does live on stage performances of audio drama. You can come see us performing a lot of classic old time radio show recreations and a lot of our own original work. All you have to do is go to ghoulishdelights.com and there you'll see a list of all of our shows coming up and how to get tickets and what we're performing and where we're performing. I'd love to see you. If we don't see you there and you're that Patreon that Joshua was talking about. We record the audio of those performances and make the audio of our live shows available to our Patreons. [01:00:48] Speaker D: What is coming up next Next, speaking of Patreon, we'll be listening to a listener request. One of our patrons has requested that we listen to the big thank you from Dragnet. Until then, okay, don't talk, Tim. Eric, talk. [01:01:07] Speaker B: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated. [01:01:11] Speaker C: Tim, are you ready to rock and roll? [01:01:15] Speaker B: Hello, Cleveland. [01:01:17] Speaker D: Give us five more minutes. [01:01:19] Speaker C: I want you to want me that. That's the wreck of thing. [01:01:24] Speaker B: Cheap Trick. [01:01:24] Speaker C: Yes. Cheap Trick is trying to explain to the Japanese audience what their song is about. [01:01:30] Speaker B: See, I'm hoping that you. [01:01:34] Speaker B: Just recorded the tag to fear on four. [01:01:42] Speaker B: Nothing to do with anything. Here's Tim explaining Cheap Trick.