Episode 420: A Horror Story

[00:00:16] Speaker A: The Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society podcast. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society of a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the Golden Age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:35] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:00:36] Speaker D: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:37] Speaker C: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they Stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:42] Speaker D: This week I chose an episode of CBS Radio Mystery Theater simply titled A Horror Story. [00:00:49] Speaker B: CBS Radio Mystery Theater was broadcast on CBS radio affiliates from 1974 to 1982. Created by Golden Age producer Hyman Brown, the series is part of a larger effort to reinvigorate the lost art of radio drama. In addition to CBS Radio Mystery Theater, the network launched the General Mills Radio adventure theater in 1977, also produced by Hyman Brown and Sears radio theater in 1979. [00:01:16] Speaker C: Actor e. G. Marshall served as the host for most of the program's eight year run. Unlike Inner Sanctum's Raymond, the host from Hyman Brown's other famous radio series, Marshall was never self consciously artificial or over the top. His gentle, grandfatherly demeanor eased listeners into the dark world of the story, creating an appealing incongruity between telling and story. Marshall left CBS radio Mystery Theater February 1, 1982, shortly before the program came to an end. Tammy Grimes took over the host duties for the remainder of the run. [00:01:43] Speaker D: A horror story was written by former radio actor turned scriptwriter Elspeth Eric. Her earliest recorded radio credit is a small role in Orson Welles 1939 Campbell Playhouse production of the Glass Key. From there she landed roles in Mr. District Attorney, the FBI in peace and War, Murder at Midnight and Inner Sanct. As a writer, Elspeth Eric Contributed More than 100 scripts for CBS Radio Mystery Theater, including two we've discussed previously, the Deadly Hour and the Black Room. [00:02:18] Speaker B: And now let's listen to a horror story from CBS Radio Mystery theater. First broadcast December 11, 1978. [00:02:27] Speaker C: It's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:02:40] Speaker E: The CBS Radio Mystery Theater presents. [00:03:00] Speaker F: Come in. [00:03:02] Speaker E: Welcome. I'm Eg Marshall. Tell me the truth. Are you sensitive, impressionable, tenderhearted? Squeamish, maybe? Are your sensibilities easily offended? Are you fussy or persnickety? If you are all or any of these things, perhaps you had better not listen to what follows. For the tale we are going to tell you is aptly called a horror story. [00:03:32] Speaker G: Take them back. Take back these slippers. [00:03:35] Speaker F: You don't like them? [00:03:36] Speaker G: They are bewitched. [00:03:38] Speaker F: But they're so beautiful. [00:03:39] Speaker G: They are cursed. They are the spawn of Satan. [00:03:42] Speaker H: Take them back. [00:03:51] Speaker E: Our mystery drama, A Horror Story was written especially for the Mystery Theater by Elspeth Eric and stars Robert Dryden. It is sponsored in part by contact, the 12 hour cold capsule. I'll be back shortly with act one. You have been warned. [00:04:21] Speaker F: You're about to hear as dreadful a [00:04:23] Speaker E: tale as has ever been told. Appalling in its frightfulness. So pause a moment, think hard whether you're able to endure it. If you have qualms about listening, turn to something sweet and soothing. But I urge you to gather your courage and listen. [00:04:44] Speaker F: Nothing on the first floor. Nothing on the second. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Only the third floor remains to be explored. Why do I bother? Why do I persist? [00:04:55] Speaker F: Well, if anyone cares, this place fascinates me. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Has for 20 years. Ever since I first came to New Orleans in 1829 and saw a crowd of frightened people gathered outside this building on Common Street. By eavesdropping among them, I learned that they thought the place haunted by a collection of gruesome ghosts. [00:05:18] Speaker F: Ah, let's see what's in here. I declare, if the third floor yields [00:05:23] Speaker A: no more than the other two. Oh, I say, what an exquisite fireplace. [00:05:30] Speaker F: So delicate. Pure Adam. [00:05:32] Speaker A: As a world traveler, I've become something of a connoisseur. Still, you. [00:05:37] Speaker F: What's this? Looks like a loose brick in the chimney breast. [00:05:42] Speaker A: Oh, really, the town should take better care of. [00:05:46] Speaker F: Let me see if I can pry it loose. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Oh, yes, I can. [00:05:51] Speaker F: Oh, why are people so neglectful? [00:05:56] Speaker A: Still, no one comes here anymore. They're too frightened, I suppose. Imagine, being afraid of ghosts. Got it. [00:06:04] Speaker F: Good. Now, what may I find here? What could there be in the space behind? [00:06:11] Speaker H: Oh. [00:06:11] Speaker F: Oh, yes, there's something. [00:06:13] Speaker I: Yes, yes, yes, there's [00:06:17] Speaker F: a little book. A little book bound in red Morocco leather. And that. Wait. What have we here? Oh, good gracious, A pair of shoes. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Oh, how sweet. How dainty. [00:06:33] Speaker F: Now, back to the little book. Oh, my word. It's a diary. [00:06:40] Speaker A: And the name embossed on the COVID [00:06:43] Speaker F: is plain as day. Gaston d'. [00:06:47] Speaker I: Ornet. [00:06:49] Speaker A: Gaston. [00:06:50] Speaker J: Gaston d'. [00:06:51] Speaker F: Ornet. Monsieur Sauvignay, come here immediately. Something wrong, Monsieur Sauvignay? [00:06:56] Speaker J: An emergency. The count is coming for dinner. It's his first visit to the Palais Sauvignay. And what do you think has happened? The head chef has had an accident and he's in the hospital. [00:07:07] Speaker F: Oh, what a pity. [00:07:08] Speaker J: Well, you know who the Count is, don't you? [00:07:10] Speaker A: Oh, I know. [00:07:11] Speaker F: I know what's to be done. [00:07:13] Speaker J: There's nothing to be done but turn the whole thing over to you, Gaston. [00:07:17] Speaker E: What? [00:07:18] Speaker A: But I've been engaged as assistant chef. I don't have the capacity. [00:07:21] Speaker J: The experience, my friend, there is no help for it. [00:07:24] Speaker G: I'll tell you what. [00:07:26] Speaker J: I'll give you Pierre all to yourself. [00:07:29] Speaker F: Pierre, the scullery boy. [00:07:31] Speaker J: He's been with me for two whole years. Pierre, come here. You'll see, Pierre is very knowledgeable. [00:07:38] Speaker G: Yes, Monsieur de Chauvenet. [00:07:39] Speaker J: Pierre, my boy. Who do you think will dine with us tonight? The Count himself, friend to the king. [00:07:47] Speaker G: But the head chef, he's in the hospital, unhappily. [00:07:50] Speaker J: But we must not let that affect [00:07:52] Speaker F: us in the least. [00:07:53] Speaker J: Monsieur Gaston Donnet here will be in charge. Oh, and you, Pierre, you are to leave everything else to others and devote yourself to him. Do you understand? [00:08:03] Speaker G: I understand. [00:08:04] Speaker J: Now, what shall we prepare for the counter? Perhaps a leg of lamb Eslington with the proper vegetables. A Normandy soul before that. Oh, and for his particular pleasure, truffles served in the silver cocotte and wrapped in our finest linen napkins. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Oh, the poor Gaston D. Poor chap. It's no small thing to prepare a superlative dinner for an important client. I know. I've wandered the world. I've been in Paris. [00:08:38] Speaker H: Ho, ho, ho. [00:08:38] Speaker A: More than once. Well, let us read on in the diary. What happens next? [00:08:44] Speaker F: Ah. When the count has eaten his dinner [00:08:48] Speaker A: of truffles of Normandy, sweet of lamb, Eslington. And all accompanied with the best wine and all finished off with an exquisite plum brandy, what then? [00:08:59] Speaker J: Success. Success. Castor. Oh, what a great success. [00:09:04] Speaker F: I'm so happy. Monsieur Sauvignon. [00:09:06] Speaker J: She raved about the souffle. He was ecstatic over the leg of lamb. He all but but kissed the vegetables. Oh, let the head chef stay in the hospital. You. You, Gaston Donnet, you are the best chef in all of Paris. [00:09:23] Speaker F: Oh, Monsieur Sauvignay, surely not. [00:09:25] Speaker J: Now, listen, listen, dear chap. The count intimated to me just before he departed he plans to come back soon. [00:09:34] Speaker F: It's too much. [00:09:36] Speaker J: Try your eyes and get on home, because that's where I'm going. [00:09:41] Speaker F: Pierre. [00:09:42] Speaker H: Monsieur. [00:09:43] Speaker J: You'll close the place, won't you, so that our heroic friend here can go home? [00:09:48] Speaker A: Yes, Monsieur Chauvelet. [00:09:49] Speaker J: Then good night, my valiant Gaston. Good night. Until tomorrow. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Good night. [00:09:55] Speaker J: Oh, what a glorious night it has been. [00:10:01] Speaker G: Aren't you going home, Monsieur Nene? [00:10:03] Speaker E: What? [00:10:04] Speaker F: Home? [00:10:05] Speaker G: To tell your wife about your success. [00:10:08] Speaker F: I have no wife? [00:10:09] Speaker G: Oh, there must be someone you can boast to. [00:10:12] Speaker F: Monsieur Sauvign said the Count adored the souffle and the lamb. All but kissed the vegetables, he said. But he said nothing about the truffles. [00:10:25] Speaker G: No, he didn't. [00:10:26] Speaker F: The beautiful truffles in the silver cocotte. Pierre, did the Count enjoy the truffles, do you think? Well, if so, why didn't Monsieur Sauvignay mention it? [00:10:40] Speaker G: But they were a little overcooked. Overcooked? [00:10:44] Speaker F: You said overcooked? I heard the Count remark to his [00:10:47] Speaker G: lady friend that they were slightly overdone. After all, they require only seven to eight minutes and the oven and yours were in there for 10. That's not so. That's not so. Oh, yes, I noticed. At least 10 minutes. [00:10:56] Speaker A: Why, you dirty little beggar. [00:10:58] Speaker H: Why are you doing. Keep away from me. Keep away from me. No. The knife. Put down the knife myself. Oh, you [00:11:10] Speaker A: killed me. [00:11:14] Speaker F: Piece of dirt. Nothing but a piece of dirt. [00:11:24] Speaker A: Absolutely incredible. Fantastic. Oh, my. I'm not at all sure I should let you hear this part. It's too. Well, we've read this far together and I know you're perishing to find out what comes next. [00:11:39] Speaker H: So. [00:11:40] Speaker A: All right. Gaston d', Honnet, as you've heard, stuck a kitchen knife right through Pierre's heart and Pierre fell down, dead. Then Gaston, appalled at what he'd done, dragged the boy's body into the Little Cuisine, and there he. [00:11:58] Speaker F: Oh, dare I tell you. [00:12:03] Speaker I: There. [00:12:04] Speaker A: He removed Pierre's clothes and burned them [00:12:08] Speaker F: in the small fireplace ordinarily used to [00:12:11] Speaker A: incinerate discarded skin and feathers and other rubbish. [00:12:16] Speaker F: Then he. Oh, this is fantastic. He. Well, he dissected and dismembered the body and removed every last bit of flesh. And then. Really, this part is superb. He prepared the flesh in any number of ways. Marinated, stuffed gratin, minced, pickled, smoked. [00:12:48] Speaker A: You do have to admire the man's ingenuity. I'll say you do. [00:12:53] Speaker F: Then the following day, there was such [00:12:55] Speaker A: an outcry in the kitchen. [00:12:57] Speaker F: Where is he? Where is that boy? [00:12:59] Speaker A: Where is that good for nothing boy? [00:13:00] Speaker F: Gaston. [00:13:01] Speaker J: Heaven's name, what's the matter? [00:13:02] Speaker A: Stupid upstart Pierre never showed up. Monsieur Sauvignay, I've waited all morning. I've searched the place. No sign of him. No word from him. Nothing. [00:13:09] Speaker J: Gestalt, calm yourself. [00:13:10] Speaker A: What am I to do without a scullery boy? [00:13:12] Speaker J: I shall find you a scullery boy. Within the hour, you shall have a scullery boy. And a good one, too. Because you know What? The Count is repeating his visit. [00:13:23] Speaker F: The Countess? [00:13:25] Speaker J: He's enamored of your cooking. Who knows? One day he might invite the King to be his guest. [00:13:33] Speaker F: Would he come? [00:13:34] Speaker J: Who knows? Now, what shall we serve the Count tonight, huh? [00:13:41] Speaker F: Monsieur Sauvignay, is it true that the Count did not appreciate my truffles? I heard something to the effect, goldsmith. [00:13:52] Speaker E: That was nothing. [00:13:53] Speaker J: A trifle overcooked, he said. [00:13:54] Speaker E: But it was nothing. [00:13:56] Speaker J: Now, for this evening. First, some scampi, perhaps? [00:14:00] Speaker A: Leave the menu to me, monsieur. I shall prepare something. [00:14:05] Speaker F: Something incomparable. Something new. [00:14:10] Speaker J: You don't want to tell me what you have in mind? [00:14:13] Speaker A: I want to work from my own inspiration, my own invention. [00:14:17] Speaker F: I want it to be a surprise. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Oh, I don't have to tell you, do I? That evening's repast was a mad success. A wild triumph. Start to finish. Such fragrance, freshness. Such combinations of flavors. Eight courses, and each one better than the last. The Count and his dinner guests agreed to a man that never, never in their gastronomic lives had they enjoyed such a remarkable past. And they sent a great storm of compliments to the genius chef. Oh, isn't it marvelous? Isn't it divine? [00:14:57] Speaker F: For of course, you know what they had eaten with such gusto. [00:15:04] Speaker J: Oh, my dear Gaston, let me kiss you both cheeks. Oh, I kiss your hands. [00:15:11] Speaker A: The Count and his friends enjoyed their dinner. [00:15:13] Speaker G: Enjoyed? [00:15:15] Speaker J: They were rapturous, Gaston, they were ecstatic. They were. They were beside themselves. [00:15:19] Speaker F: Ah, I'm so glad. [00:15:20] Speaker J: And the new scullery boy, Francois, he. He served you well? [00:15:24] Speaker E: Well enough. [00:15:25] Speaker J: Francois is a good boy. But you, oh, you need no one but yourself and your incomparable talent. [00:15:33] Speaker F: Ah, you're very kind. [00:15:35] Speaker J: Yes. Storm, I cannot keep a secret. I must tell you. [00:15:41] Speaker F: What secret is that? [00:15:43] Speaker J: The Count is coming back. Oh, and this time tomorrow or the night after. But certainly within the week. He hopes to bring a guest. A solitary guest. [00:15:55] Speaker F: A lady? [00:15:56] Speaker J: Oh, I think not. A gentleman. A high born gentleman. The most noble gentleman of them all. [00:16:05] Speaker E: What? [00:16:06] Speaker J: You mean a royal gentleman, Gaston? Him, of course. He will come disguised. It wouldn't do. [00:16:14] Speaker F: Oh, no, no, of course not. [00:16:16] Speaker J: And the Count wants you to prepare for this noble, this royal gentleman the same dinner you prepared tonight. [00:16:27] Speaker F: The same. [00:16:29] Speaker G: The very same. [00:16:31] Speaker J: Oh, my reputation is made. Just wait till everyone hears. [00:16:42] Speaker F: Francois. Francois. Come here, my boy. Oh, and bring the large mallet with you. The one we use to hammer out the scallops. Oh, yes, yes, that's the one. Hand it over. Thank you, Francois. Now turn around and I'll face the other way. Yes, that's it. Stand very still. I'm sorry, Francois, but what else could I do? [00:17:25] Speaker A: It doesn't say in the diary if the count's guest was actually the king himself. Although it does say that both gentlemen enjoyed that dinner immensely and sent the most effusive compliments to the chef. However, according to what it says here, [00:17:39] Speaker F: shortly thereafter, great outcries were raised by the mothers of the two vanished boys, and Gaston d' on suddenly left Paris, never to return. [00:17:52] Speaker A: Which is quite understandable, wouldn't you say? [00:18:01] Speaker E: Ready to continue? [00:18:03] Speaker F: Be very sure, won't you? [00:18:05] Speaker E: Because there's more to come. And if your heart stops or your hair turns white, don't blame me. I warned you, didn't I? Yes, I did. I told you from the very beginning. This is a horror story. Shall we proceed? Sweet ladies, kind gentlemen, remember, this tale has come down to us in the form of a legend. [00:18:43] Speaker G: Bill. [00:18:44] Speaker E: Little by little, by one storyteller after another, each one delighted in what he had been told and then added whatever provocative details he thought might captivate his audience and seduce it into listening longer. That is, after all, how legends have come into being since the world began. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Ready for the diary again. Time for a change of scene. In 1829, New Orleans was already a fair city and a prosperous one. A proud and stylish and extremely forceful man. Mr. Ponce was the leading citizen of New Orleans. And into his office one day stepped a sturdy, aggressive man who looked to be about 50 years of age. [00:19:34] Speaker F: Mr. Poulse, I believe. [00:19:36] Speaker G: Ah, the same. And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing? [00:19:40] Speaker F: My name is Fearot, sir. Lucien Ferrot. [00:19:43] Speaker G: Ah, A stranger to Normans? [00:19:45] Speaker F: Oh, not completely, sir. I have been plying my trade for some months. [00:19:50] Speaker G: And your trade is? [00:19:51] Speaker F: I am a shoemaker. [00:19:55] Speaker G: You mend shoes, do you? [00:19:57] Speaker F: No, I do not mend shoes, Mr. Ponce. I make shoes by hand. I cut every piece of leather, I sew every stitch with these two hands. [00:20:09] Speaker G: I see. Well, now, what can I do for you, Mr. Ferraud? [00:20:15] Speaker F: Everyone tells me you are the most influential man in New Orleans. I want to buy that building on Common Street. [00:20:24] Speaker G: Which one do you have your eye on? [00:20:26] Speaker F: The one with three stories. Six chimneys is the only one vacant at present. [00:20:31] Speaker G: And you want to move your shoemaking enterprise into that building? [00:20:35] Speaker F: I do, sir. [00:20:36] Speaker G: Isn't it a bit large? Three floors. [00:20:39] Speaker F: One floor. The first one will suffice for my workroom. The third floor, that will be my home. I have walked through it. The light is wonderful and the exquisite fireplaces in every room. [00:20:54] Speaker G: But do you need so many rooms? A man living alone? [00:20:58] Speaker F: But I shall not be living alone. I got married yesterday. [00:21:03] Speaker G: Did you now? Well, that's splendid. Congratulations. [00:21:07] Speaker F: As soon as Camille said yes, I made up my mind that the building on Common street must be mine. [00:21:16] Speaker E: You. [00:21:17] Speaker F: You're married? I? [00:21:19] Speaker G: Alas, I am a widower. But my beloved, beloved wife. Bless me with a daughter. My angelic Monique, who was more precious to me than all the world's treasure. [00:21:30] Speaker F: Of course. How old is Monique? [00:21:34] Speaker G: 17. In a few months. Soon she will make her debut. [00:21:38] Speaker F: Oh, how splendid. [00:21:40] Speaker G: It will be splendid. I promise you that, sir. I'm willing to spend half of all I've got to see that she's introduced to society in the grand style. [00:21:49] Speaker F: Perhaps. Perhaps when she has chosen her gown and had it made, perhaps you would come to me for the shoes. [00:22:01] Speaker G: Perhaps I shall. By the way, Ferraud, what do you propose to do with the second floor? You'll have your little shop on the first. You have your living quarters on the third. But what about the second? What'll you do with that? [00:22:16] Speaker F: Oh, I'll find a use for it. [00:22:23] Speaker A: Things are settling down. Quite a prosaic little diary. After all. There are lots of mundane details I won't bother to pass on to you. All about Pharaoh fixing up the top floor, this very floor, which I stand on now. And moving in with his rather colorless wife, Camille. Grandiose claims of how his shoemaking industry flourished. A lot of petty boasting that you [00:22:47] Speaker F: wouldn't be interested in. [00:22:49] Speaker A: But now. [00:22:51] Speaker F: Ah, yes, Here it starts to get interesting again. [00:22:58] Speaker I: You like this part, I think. [00:23:00] Speaker G: Good morning. Good morning. Oh, I was looking for Mr. Lucian Furrow. Is he here? [00:23:08] Speaker I: He's gone out on an errand. [00:23:09] Speaker G: But he will be back. [00:23:10] Speaker I: He didn't say when. [00:23:12] Speaker G: Oh, I. I wanted to ask him to make something for me. Something very special for my daughter, Monique Ponce. You. You. You work here for Mr. Ferraud? [00:23:26] Speaker I: I'm his wife. [00:23:27] Speaker G: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I haven't had the pleasure. Tell me, Mrs. Ferra, are you enjoying your new home? [00:23:35] Speaker I: It's very nice. [00:23:36] Speaker G: Your husband's famous. Spreading, you know, all over New Orleans. [00:23:40] Speaker I: So he tells me. [00:23:41] Speaker G: Everyone says his slippers are the softest, the most pliable. [00:23:45] Speaker F: So flexible. [00:23:47] Speaker G: The ladies who worn them say they can dance all night and on into the morning. [00:23:51] Speaker F: So I've heard. [00:23:53] Speaker G: I'll tell you why I'm here, Mrs. Ferraud. I wanted to order a pair of his wonderful slippers for my daughter, Monique. Look here, I Brought a swatch of the material her dress is to be made from. My daughter has dark hair and dark eye. Well, you can see this is the material. [00:24:12] Speaker I: Damask, isn't it? [00:24:13] Speaker G: I believe that is what they call it. White damask. With just the faintest little thread of gold running through it. [00:24:21] Speaker F: Beautiful. Beautiful. [00:24:25] Speaker G: Now, if your husband can make shoes to match, Will he be back soon, do you think? [00:24:31] Speaker I: I've got no way of knowing. He never tells me anything. [00:24:35] Speaker G: Oh, well, I'll wait a bit. [00:24:37] Speaker I: Suit yourself. [00:24:41] Speaker G: Tell me, your husband has rented out the second floor, hasn't he? [00:24:46] Speaker I: Yes, he has. [00:24:47] Speaker G: To a restaurateur, I believe. Private dining salon, they say. [00:24:52] Speaker I: So they say. [00:24:53] Speaker G: Small but elegant. [00:24:54] Speaker I: So I've heard. [00:24:56] Speaker G: Oh, forgive me, Mrs. Farrow, but you. You talk as though you'd never seen it. [00:25:00] Speaker I: I never have. [00:25:01] Speaker G: Well, I am surprised. Your husband makes an excellent investment. And you, you don't even care to see it. [00:25:08] Speaker I: Oh, I care. [00:25:09] Speaker G: It's grown famous all over New Orleans. The cuisine. Everyone raves about it. [00:25:15] Speaker I: So he tells me. [00:25:16] Speaker G: But you have never dined there? [00:25:19] Speaker F: Oh, no. [00:25:21] Speaker I: Here's my husband now. [00:25:23] Speaker F: Ah, Mr. Ponce. [00:25:26] Speaker G: Glad to see you, Ms. Perrault. [00:25:27] Speaker I: Mr. Ponce wants to order a pair of slippers. [00:25:30] Speaker F: Oh, fine, fine. [00:25:31] Speaker G: For Monique. For my daughter. I showed your wife the material her dress is being made from. You see, this is a small swatch. [00:25:40] Speaker F: Very nice. [00:25:41] Speaker G: I can get more if you'd care to make the slippers to match exactly. [00:25:44] Speaker F: No, no, that wouldn't do it to her. Well, I simply thought I have my own materials. [00:25:51] Speaker G: Well, if you insist. [00:25:52] Speaker F: I do insist. My materials are a thousand times more pliant than this damask. [00:25:59] Speaker G: Oh, whatever you say, Ferraud. Well, good day, Mrs. Ferraud. [00:26:05] Speaker I: Good day. [00:26:11] Speaker F: How long was he here? [00:26:13] Speaker I: Only a few minutes, Lucian, that's all. We chose to wait for you. [00:26:19] Speaker F: What did you two talk about? [00:26:22] Speaker I: Oh, your success, for the most part. He mentioned the restaurant on the second floor. He asked if I'd ever dined there. [00:26:32] Speaker F: He asked you that? [00:26:34] Speaker I: Of course. I said I hadn't. I said I'd never even set foot in the place. Why can't I see it, Lucien? [00:26:41] Speaker F: Because I say you can't. [00:26:44] Speaker I: But why can't I? I'd like to so much. [00:26:47] Speaker F: Lucien, I've already told you why you can't. [00:26:50] Speaker I: Because you say I can't. [00:26:52] Speaker F: Precisely. [00:26:54] Speaker I: I see. But I'd certainly like to. [00:27:01] Speaker A: I hesitate to tell you what the next few pages of the diary hold. Oh, I don't think I can read on yet. I must, if we're ever to finish this machine. Carp tail. So I'll just tell you straight out. The secret material Pharaoh used for his [00:27:21] Speaker F: extraordinary slippers was human skin. There, I've said it. [00:27:30] Speaker A: And the source of his supply was the slave market. Oh, my word. What a really terrible fellow he was. Yet you do have to admire his enterprise and his courage in setting it all down here. You do have to respect that, don't you? [00:27:54] Speaker F: Yes, sir. Do you have a reservation? [00:27:56] Speaker G: Oh, yes. The name is Ponce. Table for two? [00:27:59] Speaker I: Ah. [00:27:59] Speaker F: May I show you to your table, Mr. Ponce? [00:28:04] Speaker G: I suppose you might as well. But keep an eye out for my daughter, will you? We're dining together. She has dark hair, dark eyes, and she'll arrive alone. [00:28:12] Speaker F: I'll watch for her and bring her to you. Here's your table. Can I order you an appetiteive? [00:28:20] Speaker G: No, thank you. I'll just wait for my daughter. [00:28:22] Speaker F: As you wish, sir. [00:28:24] Speaker G: My appetite has been wetted by what I've heard of your cuisine. I'm looking forward to. [00:28:29] Speaker E: I beg your pardon. [00:28:30] Speaker A: I think I. [00:28:31] Speaker F: A lady alone. It could be your daughter. [00:28:33] Speaker G: Ah, Monique. Her name is Monique. [00:28:35] Speaker F: Good evening, Madame. You're expecting a gentleman? [00:28:39] Speaker I: No, I'm by myself. I just wanted to see what it looks like. [00:28:44] Speaker F: The management does not permit ladies unescorted. [00:28:47] Speaker I: Are you the owner? [00:28:49] Speaker F: I am the owner. [00:28:51] Speaker A: Now, if you please. [00:28:52] Speaker I: Lucien Ferraud is my husband. He's your landlord. [00:28:55] Speaker A: I cannot permit you to stay. [00:28:56] Speaker I: He owns this entire building. Is his shoe shop on the first floor? I help him there sometimes. And we live on the third floor. But I've never set foot on this floor. And I thought. [00:29:08] Speaker A: Absolutely impossible. [00:29:10] Speaker I: If I could just look in this one. Ah. [00:29:14] Speaker A: On the other hand. [00:29:16] Speaker F: Come with me. I'll show you the whole place. [00:29:20] Speaker I: Oh, it's. It's lovely. [00:29:23] Speaker F: I'll show you everything. [00:29:24] Speaker I: You're very kind. [00:29:26] Speaker F: Through this door here, if you please. [00:29:29] Speaker I: Is there another room? [00:29:30] Speaker F: Yes, through here. [00:29:33] Speaker H: Oh. [00:29:33] Speaker I: But. But. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Gone. Gone. [00:29:35] Speaker I: But I. I don't. But this is the kitchen. [00:29:38] Speaker F: It is the kitchen. And that is the back door. [00:29:41] Speaker I: But I don't want. [00:29:42] Speaker A: And you're leaving by the back door. [00:29:44] Speaker I: No, I don't want. [00:29:44] Speaker A: You're leaving now. [00:29:46] Speaker I: I don't want to leave now, Camille. [00:29:48] Speaker A: This instant. [00:29:48] Speaker H: You. [00:29:49] Speaker F: You called me Cammy. [00:29:50] Speaker I: Oh. [00:29:52] Speaker G: Oh, Lord. [00:29:53] Speaker I: How do you know my name? [00:29:54] Speaker F: Shut up, woman. [00:29:54] Speaker J: Shut up. [00:29:55] Speaker F: Why, Lucien, it's you. [00:30:00] Speaker I: What on earth have you done to yourself? [00:30:02] Speaker A: Shut your mouth. [00:30:03] Speaker I: But you look so young. You sound so young. Oh, you're quite different. [00:30:08] Speaker A: You be quiet and get out, Camille, or you'll ruin me. [00:30:11] Speaker I: What's the point of this masquerade? Why are you pretending to be two people? You're a fine shoemaker. Why do you have to be a chef as well? [00:30:20] Speaker A: Why should I be one man when [00:30:21] Speaker F: I can be 2? [00:30:22] Speaker H: But which is my husband? What is my name? [00:30:26] Speaker I: You can't go on with this deception. You must stop. [00:30:30] Speaker H: Never. [00:30:31] Speaker A: Never. [00:30:32] Speaker F: We shall be so rich. [00:30:34] Speaker H: No. [00:30:35] Speaker I: No, I won't go on this way. I can't. I don't know who I am. Who you are. I'll tell. I'll tell everyone. [00:30:43] Speaker A: I'll tell you. [00:30:44] Speaker G: No one. [00:30:50] Speaker H: You're joking me. [00:31:03] Speaker F: Oh, comedy. Poor Camille. Why did you do it? Why did you come here just when everything was going so well? [00:31:24] Speaker A: Poor Camille, indeed. For her desperately ambitious husband strangled her right there in his own kitchen. And that. [00:31:35] Speaker F: Oh, merciful heavens. I. I hate to tell you what comes next. What it says here. As he looked around him, and the [00:31:46] Speaker A: pots and the pans and all the accoutrements of his profession, the thought crossed his mind that. [00:31:54] Speaker F: Oh, how can I say it? He thought himself one of the fabulous. [00:32:04] Speaker A: What a fantastic dish. I shall serve my customers tomorrow night. [00:32:16] Speaker E: The strange, the weird, the grotesque, the bizarre. We so seldom encounter such things in our ordinary lives. They are confined to the world of [00:32:27] Speaker F: fantasy, a picture, a fable. [00:32:30] Speaker E: And for my own part, I am perfectly content that such should be the case. I'll be back shortly with Act 3. Back to our legend, which was invented to curdle your blood and freeze the marrow in your bones. If it has not done so, then it has failed in its purpose. For to make you gasp, exclaim, to make the hairs on your body stand on end, why, that is the very proper purpose of a horror story. [00:33:20] Speaker F: Oh, I'm feeling better now. [00:33:22] Speaker A: Able to read often. I think there's a passage here that reveals what you must already have guessed. The proprietor of the restaurant on the [00:33:32] Speaker F: second floor was not only Lucien Ferraud, he was likewise Gaston Donnet from Paris. [00:33:42] Speaker A: Dear me, how things are turned around in this world. It's enough to make one's head spin. Well, anyway, the diary goes on quite calmly for a while, and then. [00:33:53] Speaker G: Ah, Mr. Ferraud. [00:33:55] Speaker F: Mr. Ponce. Welcome to my little shop. [00:34:00] Speaker G: You're looking extremely well. [00:34:02] Speaker F: Thank you. I never felt better. [00:34:03] Speaker G: And your charming wife, is she doing well? [00:34:05] Speaker F: Satisfactorily, thank you. [00:34:07] Speaker G: I'm sorry not to see her. [00:34:10] Speaker F: She's elsewhere. [00:34:13] Speaker G: You know, it was to your wife that I first showed the little swatch of damask. She admired it so much, and I told her about Monique's debut. She seemed Most interested. [00:34:25] Speaker F: Yes, I'm sure she was. [00:34:26] Speaker G: Oh, yes, we had nice little chat. Nice little chat? We spoke of your tenant. [00:34:30] Speaker F: My tenant? [00:34:32] Speaker G: The man to whom you let the second floor. [00:34:34] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. [00:34:35] Speaker G: And the restaurant that he opened. Why, it's become almost as famous in New Orleans as your delectable little slippers. [00:34:42] Speaker F: Has it indeed? Yes. Well. Shall I Fetch the slippers, Mr. Ponce, for your daughter? Ah, Monic. Slippers. Of course. [00:34:52] Speaker G: That's what I came for. [00:34:53] Speaker F: I have them right here. [00:34:56] Speaker I: Here? [00:34:58] Speaker F: Here they are. [00:35:00] Speaker G: Oh, Mr. Ferraud. Oh, my friend. [00:35:06] Speaker F: You like them? [00:35:07] Speaker G: Like them? I have no words to convey what I feel. [00:35:11] Speaker F: How white they are. [00:35:13] Speaker G: How pure and white. [00:35:15] Speaker F: Yes. [00:35:16] Speaker G: Oh, they are like jewels. Royal jewels. [00:35:20] Speaker F: I call them my masterpiece. [00:35:23] Speaker G: Has your wife seen them any? [00:35:27] Speaker F: No, I haven't shown them to her. [00:35:30] Speaker G: It'd be so nice if she were to come in right now. [00:35:33] Speaker F: That is unlikely. [00:35:34] Speaker G: Before I take the them home, you [00:35:36] Speaker F: might have a long wait. [00:35:38] Speaker G: Yes, you're right. I must take them home and show them to Monique. God bless you, Ferraud. And give you continued success. [00:35:50] Speaker A: Have you guessed it? Has your clever little mind penetrated the secret of Lucia Ferro's latest? And Benchu? Have you succeeded in following the intricacies of his criminality? If so, I don't have to tell you that the soft and subtle slippers which Mr. Ponce carried home in triumph were made of the white young skin of Camille Ferraud. [00:36:24] Speaker H: Hello? Hello. Are you here? [00:36:27] Speaker G: Where are you, your rogue? Come out here. Mrs. Perrault. Are you here? I must see your husband at once. It is imperative. Well, I must see someone. I must see someone now. [00:36:41] Speaker F: You who are looking for me, Villain. [00:36:44] Speaker G: You monster. [00:36:45] Speaker F: Something is wrong, sir. [00:36:47] Speaker G: The devil. [00:36:48] Speaker F: I, Mr. Po. What? [00:36:50] Speaker G: Or I, a sorcerer? A wizard? [00:36:52] Speaker A: Mr. Po? [00:36:52] Speaker G: Or do you have the evil eye? Confession, you barbarian. [00:36:55] Speaker A: But what is it? [00:36:57] Speaker F: What must I confess to? [00:36:59] Speaker G: You know very well. [00:37:01] Speaker F: No, I don't. Mr. Ponce left here an hour ago with the slippers. You seem to have the slippers. [00:37:08] Speaker G: Yes, yes, the slippers. [00:37:10] Speaker F: You don't like the slippers? [00:37:11] Speaker G: The accursed slippers? The abominable slippers. [00:37:14] Speaker A: Your daughter does not like the slippers. [00:37:16] Speaker G: Where are your slippers? Take them. [00:37:18] Speaker F: You're bringing them back. [00:37:20] Speaker G: You take them and never let me see them again. [00:37:23] Speaker F: You don't want them. [00:37:25] Speaker G: You unwrap them and you'll see. Unwrap them and see what you have created. Unwrap them and behold your masterpiece. [00:37:33] Speaker F: I shall. [00:37:34] Speaker A: I shall not. [00:37:35] Speaker G: In my presence. You won't wait till I'm out the door and never Come near me again. [00:37:41] Speaker F: What in the world? What went wrong? What's that? What's that sound? Can it be? [00:37:53] Speaker A: Is it. [00:37:54] Speaker F: Is it in here? [00:37:58] Speaker H: My slippers. My beautiful white slippers. What's got into them? What are you saying? Are you mad? Wait, wait. Come back. Stay still. Where are you going? [00:38:15] Speaker E: No, no, don't. [00:38:16] Speaker H: Don't touch me. Me. Not me. Not me. Not me. Not me. Stay away from me. They're following me. You believe me? If I can get to my own [00:38:30] Speaker A: floor, my own place. [00:38:32] Speaker H: One more floor. To. To the top. I'll. [00:38:36] Speaker A: I'll hide. Yes, yes, yes. [00:38:38] Speaker F: I'll hide. [00:38:40] Speaker A: I'll hide here. [00:38:45] Speaker H: They're coming at me. Ah. They're on me. They're crawling up my back. My hair on my face. Oh, no. They're striking down my back. Good luck. Only while they're on my diary. No one must ever see my diary. No one will never know what I have done. If any wanted to know. No, no, no. [00:39:11] Speaker A: Heaven forbid. [00:39:13] Speaker H: Where can I hide it? So. [00:39:16] Speaker A: Yes, yes, I'll hide it here, behind this brick in the chimney. Yes, yes. [00:39:20] Speaker I: Here. [00:39:21] Speaker H: Yes. Hide this here behind this brick. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Don't ever find it. As if we got the brick. [00:39:30] Speaker H: Hold on. Slippers. Into the chimney. They're sitting on top of the diary. [00:39:40] Speaker A: At any rate, they're not chasing me. Put back the brick. [00:39:44] Speaker F: Now a piece. A little peace, yes. [00:39:54] Speaker G: Quiet. [00:39:56] Speaker F: No noise. All quiet now. That's all. Very quiet. Camille, where are you? Where have you gone? Camille. And Francois And Pierre? The police. They're here to get me. [00:40:25] Speaker A: They're going to arrest me. [00:40:27] Speaker H: But what have I done? [00:40:29] Speaker A: I haven't done anything. Just tried to make a living. [00:40:32] Speaker H: Had little success. I'm innocent. I'm innocent. I'm innocent. [00:40:45] Speaker G: Dear friends and citizens, may I have your attention? I know you. I know you expect from me some explanation of what was found in the place on Common Street a few weeks back. The authorities have said that I might tell you all that is known. Though how it all came about is a matter for conjecture. When the police broke in on the third floor of the Common street building, they found. Be brave, my friends. Be prepared for something horrendous. They found a dead man. They think they recognized him as the owner of the building. Though to be brutally honest, they could not be absolutely sure. Because the body. The body. God. [00:41:43] Speaker J: People. [00:41:43] Speaker G: Had been skin. Yes, my friends, they have concluded that this poor man went mad and flayed himself alive. [00:42:04] Speaker A: I know what you're saying to yourself. Yes, I do. You're saying, how could he read all that last part in the diary. How could anybody have written it down with the slippers? Carrying on like that? It's impossible. Well, you're right. The reason I know what happened is [00:42:23] Speaker F: that I am Gaston d'. Aunet, later Lucien Ferraud. [00:42:32] Speaker A: That is to say, I am his astral, his etherical body, vulgarly called a ghost. [00:42:42] Speaker F: So I know all about it. [00:42:46] Speaker A: Oh, and that banging at the door that poor Donay Ferraud thought was the police. [00:42:52] Speaker F: No, not so. [00:42:54] Speaker A: It was two ordinary men who knocked. One wanted to buy the restaurant for an astronomical sum. The other had come all the way from Paris. A certain wealthy count had died and left a quantity of money to Gaston [00:43:12] Speaker F: Donnet in memory of a marvelous meal he had cooked for the count some years before. All that work for nothing. [00:43:27] Speaker A: Where did I go wrong? [00:43:30] Speaker H: Where? [00:43:36] Speaker E: It seems clear that there was a place on Common street in New Orleans 150 years ago and a man certainly did rent it and opened a shoe shop on the first floor and rented out the second floor for a restaurant and lived with his wife on the third floor and later died. And no doubt there was something strange about the man. But those are all the verifiable facts we have. As for the rest, well, you know how people talk. And as they talk, legends are born and legends grow. And legends never die. I'll be back shortly. The horror story in modern literature started with the Castle of Otranto, written by Horace Walpole, quickly followed by the Mysteries of Udolph by Ann Radcliffe Honori Balzac took up the form and improved on it in France. Bulwer Lytton rivaled him in England. And in America it was brought to a peak by our own Edgar Allan Poe. Let's face it, the horror story is here to stay. Our cast included Robert Dryden, Mary Jane Higby, Ian Martin and Arnold Moss. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. And now, a preview of our next tale. [00:45:20] Speaker F: Not possible. [00:45:21] Speaker I: First, because you have to see me to know that I am your mother. You mean you have proof? I have the best proof in the world. What? You will see. All right. But you'll have to come here to my house. Very well. I know the address. I will be there within 15 minutes. [00:45:49] Speaker A: Madame Bond. [00:45:51] Speaker G: Something wrong, Sue? [00:45:53] Speaker I: She hung up. Is she coming here? Yes. She'll be here in 15 minutes. She said. [00:46:00] Speaker F: She said she has proof. [00:46:02] Speaker I: Proof? [00:46:03] Speaker F: That she's your real mother? Yes. What proof? [00:46:06] Speaker I: She said I. I would see for myself. [00:46:10] Speaker H: I don't want her to be my mother. I don't want to see her. [00:46:13] Speaker E: Mrs. E. G. Marshall, inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until next time, pleasant dream. [00:46:39] Speaker B: That was a horror story from CBS Radio Mystery Theater here on the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society podcast once again. I'm Eric. [00:46:48] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:46:49] Speaker D: And I'm Joshua. [00:46:50] Speaker B: That was Joshua's pick. Before you tell us anything, I have got to get this out of my head. At the top, why do I know this episode? [00:47:03] Speaker D: This episode was one that I selected for one of our Patreon happy hours. [00:47:09] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:47:09] Speaker D: I curated a theme that was called dark cuisine. So it was all gross out culinary. [00:47:16] Speaker B: Now I remember tales. [00:47:17] Speaker C: I totally forgotten two and I couldn't find it when I went to go know this beforehand. But I would thank you, Eric, for jumping on that grenade for me because I didn't remember it either. [00:47:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I just was like, well, I've heard this. Sometimes when that happens, it's because I've listened to it well. And decided not to bring it to the podcast. You know what I mean? [00:47:36] Speaker D: Just listening for free. [00:47:41] Speaker C: Have some self respect, man. [00:47:42] Speaker B: Just so you all know, people listening, each episode that we pick for me, I have to listen to 10 to 12 before I bring one. That's a lot of work. [00:47:54] Speaker C: Like all the way through. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah, all the way through. And then you get to the end and go, no. And you're like, I just want to go to bed. [00:48:05] Speaker D: I would like to leave the listeners with the impression that we enjoy old time radio. [00:48:12] Speaker A: Oh, I do. [00:48:21] Speaker D: If only you could have seen his face. [00:48:24] Speaker B: It's just when it's, oh, you gotta get this done. It becomes work. [00:48:29] Speaker D: And I'm sorry, it's hard to enjoy something to a deadline. Yes, that's what you're trying to say. [00:48:35] Speaker C: I don't remember what I said about this. We discussed it earlier. But I'll say this time, I really love this one. [00:48:42] Speaker B: What did I say about it at happy hour? [00:48:45] Speaker D: You did not like it. [00:48:46] Speaker B: I still do not like it. [00:48:49] Speaker D: Well, first of all, I will say one of the things, one of the many things I enjoyed about it pertinent to past CBS radio mystery theater discussions we've had on the podcast. I think it uses the three act structure exceedingly well. And as we've noted, that is usually the Achilles heel. [00:49:10] Speaker B: Correct. [00:49:11] Speaker D: Of CBS radio mystery Theater. The stories seem to be chosen by Hyman Brown or his henchmen. Based on like that would be a great concept for 1948. When you had 30 minutes, you had less 22 commercials. [00:49:25] Speaker E: Right. [00:49:26] Speaker D: And so this has to be padded out to. Once you take commercials out, 43, 44 minutes. So this works very well. As we jump through time. Each act is essentially a short horror story. [00:49:41] Speaker C: This is as close to Grand Guignol, I think as I've ever heard. [00:49:47] Speaker D: And that is reason number two that I love it. It is incredibly self conscious, right down to the title. A horror story. Because this is about horror. [00:49:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:58] Speaker B: And talking shoes. [00:49:59] Speaker C: Word by word, I'm like, oh, I'm having so much fun being so creepy. That's just my favorite. The guy at the beginning, the narrator all throughout. Like, oh, I can't tell you, it's too horrible. You don't want to know. Okay, I'll tell you. [00:50:12] Speaker D: Right. [00:50:12] Speaker B: It's like Charles Nelson Riley taking you through a horror story. [00:50:16] Speaker C: Yes. You could find that with Vincent Price, which you'd get. Vincent Price, [00:50:26] Speaker D: Grand Guignol, absolutely. But also the other thing that struck me that this is a glimpse into an alternate timeline in which Hyman Brown simply rebooted Inner sanctum in the 1970s instead of creating the slightly more generic anodyne CBS Radio Mystery Theater. So I love something that gets back to Hyman Brown's horror roots. [00:50:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:52] Speaker D: And I also. Another weakness of CBS Radio Mystery Theater that we've commented on many a time is the Flash Forward Cold Open. And this one, I think is gold because it's disorienting. You have no idea what the context is. So it doesn't really spoil anything. But what it does do is set up the tone. [00:51:17] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:18] Speaker D: Perfectly. [00:51:18] Speaker C: And it's such a distance between that opening and when the moment actually comes that. Well, for me at least, like a little delight of like, oh, it's that thing you said at the beginning. There it is. [00:51:28] Speaker H: Right. [00:51:29] Speaker B: Instead of a lot of times the CBS Radio. [00:51:32] Speaker C: I knew this was coming because you told me this was coming. [00:51:33] Speaker B: Right. Or just sitting around waiting for that to happen. [00:51:36] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:51:37] Speaker D: And this speaks to my obsession with the three act structure. I don't think this is an actual legitimate reading of the opening line, but it made me think it was a critique of the usual use of. Of the three act structure. When our narrator is going through and he's saying, nothing on the first floor, nothing on the second, only the third floor remains to be explored. And that's usually how CBS Radio Mystery Theater uses its three act structure, where it's like, nothing happens. Nothing happens. And then everything goes crazy. Act three. And you're like, wow, if you would just spread that out. [00:52:10] Speaker C: Wow, that's fun to think. Even as the Story goes on. We want to live on the third floor. You're going to work on the first floor. Don't go on the second floor. [00:52:21] Speaker D: That's where all the padding happens. [00:52:27] Speaker C: You're a whole different person on the second floor. [00:52:30] Speaker B: Why are there so many flashbacks up here? [00:52:35] Speaker D: Yeah. And that host immediately defies expectations of the title. Like a horror story. Like I said, he's just already like, this is so. And instantly eases you the way Raymond would into this idea. Like, we're gonna have a sense of humor about the over the top craziness you're about to experience. [00:52:58] Speaker C: That's probably a thing too, that by the end when you get to. How did I know what happened as he was dying? Because it's me. I'm a ghost. That either you're in on this, like you're committed to. This is fun. I don't mind that that's stupid or like, I hate this and that's extra stupid. You've been a ghost. [00:53:17] Speaker B: Check that second part. [00:53:19] Speaker C: So for me, yes, at that point, like, you're a ghost. Okay. We're at the end. I don't care. This was fun. [00:53:24] Speaker D: So what doesn't jive narratively with him being a ghost to you? [00:53:29] Speaker C: The fact that he was exploring and discovering, like, what is this? I want to read this journal, this diary. This sort of feigned ignorance of his own story. [00:53:38] Speaker D: That's where his entire characterization comes together for me, because it was an entire performance. None of that is real. Like, I am just putting on a ghost show. This is that self conscious. Like I am doing a horror show. That really works for me. And I liked it because his performance also sort of leads you down this path that, oh, we're dealing with a Renfield style lunatic character, not a supernatural character. He seems very human in flesh and blood. And then when he says he's a ghost. Well, because the reveal that he is a ghost is tied to my absolute favorite thing in this entire production, which is when he acknowledges, guys, I could not have written all that in a diary while it was happening. Right. I was thinking that the first time I listened to it. Wait, what? This is all from the diary. That he's being chased around and screaming. And none of that really makes a lot of sense. [00:54:41] Speaker C: I will strongly push back on that being the best part of this song. Being chased up and down the stairs by screaming slippers is the best part. That's the best part. Not just screaming, just. [00:54:56] Speaker D: And laughing and gurgling. There's a lot of phlegm in these Slippers. It is such an unhinged performance. [00:55:04] Speaker B: The slipper part of this reminded me of. I don't know what the genre is, but movies from the 50s that were made in, like, Norway or other countries, you see them on Mystery Science Theater all the time, and they're based on old folk tales. I'm trying to think of one. Do you know what that genre I'm talking about? Like, these old folk fairy tales that they put into movies, and then they're dubbed so they sound like what you just did. Like, what? This is crazy. So remind me that here. Can I. I want to forgive my ignorance. So first. [00:55:41] Speaker H: Thank you. [00:55:42] Speaker B: Well, that was easy. Let me shift my perspective. [00:55:44] Speaker D: Go on and sin no more myself. [00:55:47] Speaker B: Listen, we got, what, 20 minutes to kill here? [00:55:50] Speaker C: No, we're only in the first act. [00:55:53] Speaker B: Second act is just us talking about the good old days. All right, so the. The shift of perspective here that I'm trying to do and forgive my ignorance on this. EC Comics. [00:56:04] Speaker C: Grand Guignol in that style. Grand Guignol. Rah, rah. I could look at my books that are back here, but it's early 19th century, I think, in France, and then moved to London. We've described that a little bit, but it was a genre of theater that was really visceral. Gory comedy mixed with. Actually, that's probably the best way. Gory comedy, horror and comedy with a lot of staged blood and dismemberment and that. And then it's funny, and they go back and forth and they do, like, short plays. You'd see, like, three or four short plays in anything. [00:56:36] Speaker D: It's like going to see a strip show and there's a comedian in between, only instead of stripping, there's terrible horror. [00:56:43] Speaker B: My favorite part. The comedian. [00:56:47] Speaker F: God. [00:56:48] Speaker B: I was the guy. I was the guy. No, thanks. I didn't go into the. You know. And all the boys. [00:56:53] Speaker G: Oh, we're going to go to the strip club. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Nope, nope. I'm not quite. [00:56:56] Speaker C: We've been some comedy relief in a burlesque show. [00:57:00] Speaker G: I've been. [00:57:00] Speaker D: Oh, yes. Yes, we have. [00:57:02] Speaker B: Yeah. But the question I had was, are EC Comics considered Grand Guignol? [00:57:07] Speaker C: I think that they do the same sort of mix of gory and funny and. [00:57:13] Speaker B: Cause this plays off. When I say shift of perspective. If I listen to this, as if I'm hearing someone read an EC comic to me, this is a. I have a different experience. [00:57:22] Speaker C: I mean, this narrator is definitely in, like, the Crypt Keeper sort of tradition. [00:57:26] Speaker B: Does that make sense? [00:57:27] Speaker D: I feel the radio show is telling you how to listen to it from the top. And that doesn't mean you have to like it. It just means, I think it's telling you, these are the standards you should judge us by. [00:57:38] Speaker B: But I didn't quite do that listening to it. You know, I didn't shift it. I just went, this isn't scary. This is dumb. But then it's different when I shift [00:57:49] Speaker C: the peanut butter and jelly of EG Marshall. And this narrator. Double narrating may throw people off in a tone of like, EG Marshall is doing his general like, we're gonna scare you with a very serious horror story here. Then, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We'll be right back. [00:58:06] Speaker D: Yeah. It's almost like they have reversed the Inner Sanctum structure, where they have the more straight warnings about horror coming through the actual host. And then the gonzo Raymond stuff is happening within the story to a certain extent, often in Inner Sanctum. It's happening in both places too. Right. There's also a hint, though early, about the ghost. The narrator talks a lot, but he says, oh, why do I bother? Why do I persist? There's this sense that he's objecting to, that he's going through these motions that also fits. Again, I'm probably taking this story way more seriously than what it's intended, but this idea that that's part of his ghostly routine, he has to repeat this performance every night. [00:58:51] Speaker C: Feels a little familiar. [00:58:52] Speaker D: Y over and over again. He has to put on this Grand Guignol show for whoever's listening late at night on CBS Radio 1970. Whatever. [00:59:05] Speaker C: I also loved that wife. [00:59:08] Speaker D: Oh, yes. [00:59:09] Speaker C: That soul dead spouse. [00:59:11] Speaker D: It reminded me a lot of the character and performance of the wife from Revolt of the Worms. Do you remember that? [00:59:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:59:18] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:59:18] Speaker D: Where she's like, are you done experimenting with the worms? [00:59:22] Speaker F: Now. [00:59:27] Speaker C: And then, when she finally does get curious, it was a little interesting. Note of, I don't know your actual name. And I took that as my name, as my identity. I don't know who I am. The step from, you're lying to me about who you are because we're married, that means I don't know who I am. Which was, I don't know, a big point of theirs, but it was just interesting to me. [00:59:48] Speaker D: Yeah, it's an interesting little detour into kind of existential horror of marriage. [00:59:54] Speaker J: Yes. [00:59:56] Speaker D: And her existential reaction to this reveal is as big and exaggerated as every other flavor of horror that exists in here. So I really loved that moment. [01:00:15] Speaker B: You guys know since the beginning of this podcast, since we've known each other. I struggle with this comes off to me as parody, you know. And I want suspense, I want adventure, I want to be scared, I want that. And when it becomes goofy, I struggle. [01:00:32] Speaker C: There's different threads of. There's like horror, which I think you don't like either of these, but like the old sort of Victorian, there's not gonna be a monster. It's just the dread, it's just the uneasiness, it's just the creepy. And then there's this Gran Guguignol kind of like that's not suspense, it's just blood and horror. It's just grisly and nasty and awful to think about. [01:00:55] Speaker D: I'm just gonna kill and eat people for 45 minutes straight. [01:00:59] Speaker B: Sweeney Todd. Gran Guguignol. [01:01:01] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, okay, I hear what you're saying. And I definitely think totally cool to say, like, eh, horror parody isn't my thing. But I think it's a little unfair to call this parody. I think this is doing something a little different than parody. [01:01:19] Speaker C: Yeah. At the time it's picking up a lots of stories and comic books and things like that are still kind of dipping into this. [01:01:27] Speaker D: Well, so it's to some extent Grand Guignol and something like this is interested in the thrill of horror by not making it scary. Let's take some of the shame away from it and just say, yeah, we just think it's fun. The idea, the cathartic idea that some people just get killed and eaten or turned into slippers. And that's ridiculous and funny, you know. And so it's more. I think it's more transgressive actually than parody. [01:02:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:01] Speaker D: Cause it's telling you have fun and it's okay. Whereas parody's saying it's okay because it's a joke. And this is saying horror is okay. It's okay to laugh at horror. [01:02:12] Speaker B: Fine line. [01:02:13] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:02:14] Speaker C: I was trying to think, because I know you adore like Dracula and Frankenstein and this thread of horror that's somewhere in the middle. It's not just dread like the ghost stories, and it's not the fascination with taboo subjects and transgression, things like that, that's a little more literary. I mean, that's calling it more literary than ghost stories is perhaps a bridge too far. But I'm trying to think how I would characterize Frankenstein or Dracula on that spectrum. [01:02:42] Speaker D: Frankenstein has more of that philosophical, metaphysical, literary layers in there. If you're talking about the novel, Dracula just wants to scare the pants off you. [01:02:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:54] Speaker D: As a novel, I Don't know about what we're talking about in the films. [01:02:57] Speaker C: It's scary and forbidden aspect to it at the time, but it's. [01:03:01] Speaker D: Lackan laughs. [01:03:03] Speaker C: True. [01:03:04] Speaker B: Except the armadillos. [01:03:10] Speaker D: Oh, I was talking about Stoker's novel. Yeah. There are a lot of unintentional humorous moments in the. [01:03:16] Speaker B: In the movie. [01:03:16] Speaker D: Yeah, for sure. [01:03:18] Speaker C: In the 1930s. If you could press pause in that movie while you're watching. [01:03:22] Speaker F: Wait. [01:03:23] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:24] Speaker C: Is that an armadillo? [01:03:25] Speaker B: I said it before. I'll say it again. I'll make it quick. Look up Dracula cardboard. [01:03:31] Speaker D: Oh, yes. [01:03:31] Speaker B: I have one of the greatest. [01:03:33] Speaker D: Rabbit hole as well. [01:03:34] Speaker B: Rabbit holes. You love to go down. Random pieces of cardboard taped to lamps all over that movie. [01:03:41] Speaker D: And so this story ends with the narrator flaying himself alive. And so did that. Speaking of theater of the mind, it's another trick I love. So then you have to retroactively when you find out he's a ghost, that he's just this mushy meat man, completely flayed, strolling around through the stories of this building. [01:04:03] Speaker C: I suppose one of those things where you look away from the ghost and you look at the book that you're reading and you look back and you're like, oh, I'm this hideous creature that you can. [01:04:11] Speaker D: The scary moments. Yes, yes, I'm scared. The other thing that I thought added an interesting layer to this is the theme, and I think this is fair. I reached a couple times in this discussion, but this one, I think is really right. There is the theme of identity in that you have. Obviously, he keeps changing his identity in order to actually be able to create more horror. I want to continue to do my horrific chef work. I want to now expand my horror enterprise into the making of slippers. And then you also have the whole identity crisis that his wife has when she realizes, I want to do this [01:04:53] Speaker C: so that I can be recognized. [01:04:54] Speaker D: Yep. [01:04:54] Speaker C: But I have to be anonymous. [01:04:56] Speaker D: There is a little danger in being like, you're the guy who eats people. Right. [01:05:01] Speaker C: I'm a big fan. [01:05:02] Speaker D: I don't eat people. I cook people, sir. Big difference. Dealers don't use. Who's the second scullery boy? Oh, I don't know. Is it Pierre? But just when he realizes that the Count is coming back, where he's just like, pierre, come here and bring the hammer, the mallet, and just thunk. [01:05:30] Speaker C: That is just a classic little beat in this kind of story of when your narrator has gone a step too far, and then his next step is like, okay, I get It. I'm bad now. I'm a baddie. [01:05:43] Speaker D: Right. [01:05:44] Speaker B: Might as well keep going. [01:05:46] Speaker D: And this is all because the Count was not. [01:05:49] Speaker C: Not a fan of the truffles. [01:05:50] Speaker D: Not a fan of the truffles. It reminds me that there's an episode of Frasier in which there's just one guy in a focus group that is. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Oh, right. [01:05:58] Speaker D: Kind of mediocre on him, and he just terrorizes him. [01:06:02] Speaker C: Right. [01:06:03] Speaker D: Why don't you like me? [01:06:05] Speaker B: Yeah, that's me. [01:06:07] Speaker G: And that the. [01:06:08] Speaker C: His helper was like, well, you did overcook him. [01:06:12] Speaker E: Right? [01:06:13] Speaker D: Yeah, I'd murder him, too. [01:06:16] Speaker B: Should we vote? [01:06:17] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:06:18] Speaker B: Tim, you're starting. [01:06:19] Speaker C: I love this to bits. It's exactly as you said, that this is Hyman Brown flexing his inner sanctum muscles, which is just. Is me oriented. It's totally me oriented. I'm 100% biased. This is candy to me, and I really enjoyed it. [01:06:33] Speaker D: Yeah, this is a classic to me. It's probably my favorite CBS Radio Mystery Theater. I think it is a radio classic. Elspeth Eric, I think, is a great writer. I know that sometimes she just sort of cranked out the usual CBS Radio Mystery Theater fare, but, like, she did a lot of really fascinating experimental scripts and stories, and I'm a big fan. And, yeah, I said all the reasons. I love this. I love it, I love it, I love it. Classic. [01:07:04] Speaker B: I appreciate it. I completely understand why you love it. I have complete comprehension that it's really good for what it is and what it's trying to do. And it's like. It's like I say, listen, I don't like the Grateful Dead, but they don't suck. I can't. You know, like, billions of people love them. Right? But they're not. I'm not a fan. [01:07:26] Speaker D: Actually do suck. [01:07:29] Speaker B: But my point being is just because it's not my cup of tea. So I'm going to say that this is really good for what it's doing, and. And I appreciate it. [01:07:38] Speaker C: This was the Tasty Dead. [01:07:43] Speaker B: All right, now tell them better stuff, [01:07:46] Speaker C: Please go visit ghoulishdelights.com it's the home of this podcast. You'll find other episodes there. If you'd like to listen to more episodes of CBS Radio Mystery Theater, you can go and search out, like, wait, which of these episodes? We keep all our evidence on this website. If you've heard this podcast before, you know what I'm struggling to say. And if not, just go to the one. [01:08:09] Speaker B: I'll say it better. [01:08:12] Speaker C: A bunch of episodes. You can use search functions to find things. You'll also find links to our store, links to stuff that we have going on, links to our Patreon page. [01:08:20] Speaker D: Yes, and I mean, if you've listened to this podcast, you've heard me say go to patreon.com themorals and support this podcast. So just do it. [01:08:29] Speaker B: If you'd like to see the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society Theater company performing live on stage, classic recreations of recreations of classic old time radio shows and a lot of our own original audio [01:08:42] Speaker D: dramas, I would so love to perform this. [01:08:46] Speaker B: I'm with you. I'll do it. Who do I get to play all of them? [01:08:50] Speaker D: I want to see you do a one man show of your least favorite genius with your mystery. [01:08:56] Speaker C: You want to bust out some EG Marshall? [01:08:58] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I'll EG Marshal it. Ghoulishdelights.com, go there and you find out where we're performing, what we're performing, and how to get tickets. And if you can't make it to our shows, which there's about a dozen or so a year, please, Everywhere. Yeah, please become a Patreon and the audio recordings of those shows are provided to you. For being a Patreon, we should change [01:09:20] Speaker D: our identity into a separate all time radio competing group. Just like Gaston and Lucien. [01:09:28] Speaker B: Yeah, because I got time for that. What's coming up next? [01:09:33] Speaker D: Next is your pick, Eric. [01:09:34] Speaker B: We're gonna dive back into some quiet please with an episode called the Room where the Ghosts Live. Until then,