Episode 405: The Hat, the Bed, and John J. Catherine

[00:00:16] Speaker A: The mysterious old radio listening society podcast. Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:35] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:00:36] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:37] Speaker B: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:42] Speaker C: This week I've chosen an episode of Quiet Please entitled the Hat, the Bed and John J. Catherine. [00:00:50] Speaker A: Quiet Please was the brainchild of radio and screenwriter Willis Cooper, creator of another legendary series, Lights Out. The program debuted on the Mutual broadcasting network on June 8, 1947. In September 1948, it moved to ABC, where it remained until its final broadcast on June 25, 1949. In total, Cooper wrote 101 original scripts for the series, along with five repeats, for a total of 106 broadcasts. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Quiet Please is often labeled a horror series, probably because of Cooper's roots in the genre. But as a May 1949 article in Writer's Digest noted the there's no formula or pattern to Quiet Please other than that it is always narrated in the first person by Ernest Chappell and has an eerie, slow paced mood, sometimes macabre, sometimes hilarious, but always entertaining. The same article reported that ABC received more listening requests for Quiet Please scripts than for any other program. [00:01:46] Speaker C: The Hat, the Bed and John Jay Catherine was the third to last episode of the series, followed by two recycled scripts, Pavane retitled From the Girl with the Flaxen Hair, and the final broadcast, Quiet Please, named for the program itself. That means you're about to hear the last original script Willis Cooper ever wrote for Quiet Please, first broadcast on June 11, 1949. [00:02:13] Speaker A: It's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:02:28] Speaker D: Quiet Please. Quiet Please. The American Broadcasting Company presents Quiet Please, which is written and directed by Willis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell. Quiet Please for tonight is called the Hat, the Bed and John J. Catherine. When I talk to you about John J. Catherine, I'm talking about me. I've got into more battles about my last name. I have had to make it clear to at least 4 million people that Katherine is my last name, not my first. And in the process I have accumulated more numerous contusions, fractures, superficial abrasions, black eyes and bloody noses than can readily be counted by one person. Now disregard my personal adventures in the field of fisticus for a moment and attune your shell like ear to the singular story of the hat and the bed. And me. However, don't get carried away to the extent of thinking of me as Kitty or Kate or any of the other diminutives of my last name, or I am quite likely to wrap you smartly over the sconce with a stage brace. I much prefer, if you must be familiar, to be addressed by my usual sobriquet of gentleman Johnny. However, I am just as happy when you call me Mr. Catherine. Just wanted to make myself perfectly clear. My profession is that of a stagehand. To continue our brief gander at my personal history and to orient you somewhat concerning myself, I have carried a card in the iatse ever since the actors strike which more or less dates me. As a matter of fact, and strictly between you and I me, there was a time when I entertained certain ambitions myself. When I left Rockford as a young man. Valedictorian of my class at Rockford High, I studied with Christensen in Chicago for four months. Then the lamented Thomas Wood Stevens once said that I had legs like Burt Lyttle's. And though I have devoted my energies to another phase of the theatre for lo, these many years, I am still able to offer slight competition to these young upstarts who people this stage today. Indeed, I very often linger after an evening performance to try my slightly decrepit wings alone in the house at midnight. Nay, I will win my wager better yet, and show more signs of her obedience, her new built virtue and obedience. See where she comes and brings your froward wives as prisoners to her womanly persuasion. Why, there's a wedge. Come and kiss me, Kate. The bar taming of the shoe, act five scene too. Patricia speaking to Katharine. I could go on for three days. [00:05:36] Speaker E: Before you go on for three days, Mr. Katherine, suppose you step over here and give these boys a hand with the scenery for the next act, huh? And make it snappy, Mr. Catherine. That a boy, Mr. Catherine. [00:05:47] Speaker D: Oh, that this too to solid flesh would melt. [00:05:50] Speaker E: Hamlet, Act 1 seemed to John Catherine been telling you how he'd have w him in Grand Rapids if he'd stuck to his first love, the theater. Don't you listen to it. First thing you know, we'll have you talked into angeling a production of Shakespearean repertory in somebody's cow barn for the summer. Starring John J. Catherine as King Lear, Macbeth, Shylock and assorted kings Henry. And I'm not going to let anybody spoil the best stagehand I ever saw. To make a fourth rate ham actor out of him. Not that he isn't a fourth rate ham actor already. Me, I'm Evelyn Pierce. I produce plays and things. And I think John J. Catherine hates my viscera. I don't mean to be mean to John. I like him. But we got work to do. Putting on a play and that's the stagehand's business. Ah, hello, John. [00:06:37] Speaker D: Back so quickly, Ms. Pierce? I quit. [00:06:42] Speaker E: Again, John. [00:06:43] Speaker D: For positively the last, final, definitive time, Ms. Pierce. I quit. I am done. I resign. I will take it up with the union if need be, but I un. Unequivocably. He said it unequivocably. Resigned. Is that clear, Ms. Pierce? [00:06:59] Speaker E: Quite, John. But why, if you please. [00:07:01] Speaker D: That set, sir. [00:07:02] Speaker E: What set, sir? [00:07:03] Speaker D: That man. That unspeakable man that goes around putting things on things. Flowers on tables and telephone, books on stands, candlesticks on the mantle. He put my hat on the bed. [00:07:16] Speaker C: Oh. [00:07:16] Speaker D: And so, Ms. Pierce, I unequivocably resound it is so fare you well. [00:07:22] Speaker E: Where are you going, John? [00:07:23] Speaker D: I said I quit, Ms. P. Where are you going? I'm going to the morticians. I'm going, Ms. Pierce, to the morticians to talk over certain details. [00:07:31] Speaker E: Details of what, John? [00:07:32] Speaker D: A funeral, Ms. Pierce. [00:07:34] Speaker E: A funeral, John. [00:07:35] Speaker D: My funeral, Ms. Pierce. [00:07:37] Speaker E: I don't quite understand you, John. [00:07:40] Speaker D: Ms. Pierce, are you unaware that a hat placed on a bed is a sure sign of death? Please omit the flowers, Ms. Pierce. [00:08:15] Speaker E: I wish you people would. Oh, John Casher. [00:08:18] Speaker D: Hello, Miss Pierce. [00:08:19] Speaker C: But you. [00:08:20] Speaker E: Did you. [00:08:21] Speaker D: No, ma'. Am. Did I wake you up? [00:08:23] Speaker E: As a matter of fact, you did, John. Is there something I can do for you? [00:08:26] Speaker D: Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, Ms. Pierce. [00:08:28] Speaker C: Well, what? [00:08:29] Speaker E: I was taking a nap. [00:08:30] Speaker D: You were asleep. [00:08:31] Speaker E: I was? I've you told. Tired. [00:08:33] Speaker D: I didn't get much sleep last night. No, nor the night before either. Sleep that knits up the ravel sleeve of care. Macbeth, act two, scene two. [00:08:42] Speaker E: Death counterfeit, act two, scene three. [00:08:47] Speaker D: It scares me. [00:08:48] Speaker E: What scares you? Make bath sleep. [00:08:52] Speaker D: I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'm so sleepy. [00:08:57] Speaker E: Well, can I do something for you, John? [00:09:00] Speaker D: I could tell you about my dream, John. [00:09:02] Speaker E: Really? I'm afraid. [00:09:04] Speaker D: So am I. Something's got to be done. [00:09:09] Speaker E: You want me to do something? You mean you want to come back to work, John? [00:09:12] Speaker D: I want to tell you about my dream, Ms. Pierce. [00:09:16] Speaker E: Well, come on in. [00:09:18] Speaker D: Well, thank you. [00:09:20] Speaker E: Sit down, John. [00:09:22] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:09:24] Speaker E: When I light a cigarette. Cigarette, John? [00:09:26] Speaker D: I don't smoke, Ms. Pierce. [00:09:28] Speaker E: Oh, yes, I forgot. [00:09:29] Speaker D: Well, I hardly know where to begin? [00:09:33] Speaker E: I haven't got much time. [00:09:35] Speaker D: I know. Neither have I. [00:09:38] Speaker E: Go ahead, John. [00:09:40] Speaker D: Well, the hat, you know, and the bed. [00:09:46] Speaker E: It's only a superstition, John. [00:09:47] Speaker D: That's what people say. [00:09:49] Speaker E: I didn't know you were superstition. [00:09:50] Speaker D: Well, I don't know whether I am or not. I'm so sleepy all the time, I can't remember things. I don't know what. I don't know. [00:09:58] Speaker E: Now, see here, John. [00:10:00] Speaker D: Yes, ma'. [00:10:01] Speaker C: Am. [00:10:03] Speaker D: I'm just afraid of dying. Are you afraid of dying, Ms. Pierce? [00:10:08] Speaker E: I've never thought of it especially. [00:10:11] Speaker D: Well, I don't want to die, you see. I know what it's like, kind of. [00:10:17] Speaker E: Now, John, if that's all. [00:10:18] Speaker D: Listen. I was really scared when I left the theater last night. I really did call up a mortician to arrange things, you know. [00:10:26] Speaker E: Said you were. [00:10:27] Speaker D: I couldn't get him on the phone. So after a while I lay down as one who wraps the drapery of his couch about him. [00:10:34] Speaker E: And lies down to peaceful dreams. Thanatopsis William Cullen Bryan. [00:10:37] Speaker D: Thank you. But I didn't dream peacefully or unpeacefully. [00:10:42] Speaker E: I thought you said you did. [00:10:43] Speaker D: Oh, ma', am, I just went to sleep. [00:10:45] Speaker E: But you said you dream, John. You said you wanted to tell me your dream. That's what you said. [00:10:50] Speaker D: I know. When I woke up, it was real late. Really late. I mean, very late. It was dark. Black dark. I could hardly see the light from the window. Couldn't see it at all, as a matter of fact. Black, dark. I was so thirsty, I had to have a drink of water. My mouth was just parched. [00:11:11] Speaker E: Sleeping with your mouth open, I suppose. [00:11:14] Speaker D: Well, after a while, I couldn't stand it any longer. So I got up. Now, the bathroom's here. You see, My bed is like this. And the dresser's over here. And there's a chair. I got up and I couldn't find the light switch. I knew I could find my way in the dark to the bathroom all right. And I did. I got my drink of water, and my goodness, it tasted good. And then I started back to bed. When I came back, the bed was gone. There wasn't any bed. There wasn't any chair where I knew the chair was. And the dresser was gone, too. There wasn't anything in the room. [00:12:04] Speaker E: John, you were dreaming. [00:12:05] Speaker D: No, I wasn't dreaming. I wandered around there in the dark forever. So long. There wasn't anything in the room, I tell you. My gracious, Ms. Pierce. I can walk three steps from my bathroom door right to the Edge of my bed. It's a little low bed. I bump it with my knee. It's a little room, Miss Pierce. You can't walk around there in the light without bumping into something. Chair or the dresser, the bed or the little table. I. I forgot where I keep my collective plays of Shakespeare. [00:12:29] Speaker C: Right. [00:12:29] Speaker D: Kind of by my bed, where the light is. I couldn't find a light. I couldn't find any light. [00:12:35] Speaker E: And I don't understand it, John. [00:12:38] Speaker D: Because of the hat on the bed. [00:12:40] Speaker E: Oh, John. [00:12:41] Speaker D: That's right. [00:12:42] Speaker E: Just because you had a bad dream. [00:12:43] Speaker D: It wasn't a dream. [00:12:44] Speaker E: You said you wanted to tell me your dream. [00:12:46] Speaker D: Only way I could think to describe it. But it wasn't a dream. Just a big, empty place. Dark, black dock. Empty. I've been very badly frightened, Miss Pierce. [00:12:58] Speaker E: What happened when you waked up, John? [00:13:01] Speaker D: I wasn't asleep. It wasn't a dream. It was a kind of preview of death, Miss Pierce. [00:13:08] Speaker E: Oh, no, John. A dream. Now, don't sit there and shake your head, John. I've had dreams like that myself. Extraordinarily vivid dreams that leave me wondering when I wake up, when. Whether I. John, you're not listening to me. [00:13:21] Speaker D: I'm so sleepy, Miss Pierce. [00:13:22] Speaker E: Well, you're not going to sleep in my house now. [00:13:24] Speaker D: I won't go to sleep, Miss Pierce. I'm afraid to go to sleep. [00:13:29] Speaker E: Afraid of dreaming. [00:13:31] Speaker D: I don't know what I'm afraid of. [00:13:33] Speaker E: Well, I figured. John. [00:13:35] Speaker D: I don't smoke, Miss Pierce. [00:13:37] Speaker E: I forgot. [00:13:37] Speaker D: It's all right. [00:13:39] Speaker E: Well, it is an extraordinary experience, isn't it? [00:13:43] Speaker D: Yes. [00:13:46] Speaker E: Well, I. I mean. Well, why'd you come to tell me about it? Did you? I mean, I'll be glad to have you go back to work if you want to. You want to do that? [00:13:55] Speaker D: No. No, I don't think so. I. I just wanted to tell you about it. [00:14:00] Speaker E: Why me? Especially John. [00:14:02] Speaker D: Oh, gracious. [00:14:02] Speaker E: Don't you know, John, I'm very flattered, really, and you know, but don't know. Of course not. [00:14:10] Speaker D: Well, you were there. [00:14:15] Speaker E: I was there? [00:14:16] Speaker D: Yes, Miss Pierce, I've never heard anything. [00:14:19] Speaker E: So absurd in all my life. What was I doing there in the dark? [00:14:23] Speaker D: What were you doing? Why, I don't know what you were doing. You were just there. [00:14:29] Speaker E: Now, John, that's absurd. How do you know I was there? You said it was dark, you couldn't see anything. [00:14:34] Speaker C: You were there. [00:14:35] Speaker D: Mysterious. [00:14:36] Speaker E: John, I don't know what you're talking about. You're drunk. [00:14:37] Speaker D: I don't drink, Miss Pierce. [00:14:39] Speaker E: And I wasn't at your house, either. You know perfectly well I was. [00:14:42] Speaker D: She wasn't at my house. [00:14:43] Speaker E: You said. [00:14:43] Speaker D: I said I came out of the bathroom and I thought it was my room, but it wasn't. It was just a great, big, dark, empty space. [00:14:52] Speaker E: John, when was all this? [00:14:54] Speaker D: Why, last night. Oh, I went right home from the theater, you know, and I went to bed like I. [00:14:59] Speaker E: When you saw the hat on the bed and you came to me and said you quit. [00:15:02] Speaker D: Of course, last night I. John. Yes, ma'. Am. [00:15:06] Speaker E: It was Thursday night. You quit, what, three days ago? Not last night. Three days ago, John. [00:15:14] Speaker D: Three days ago. [00:15:16] Speaker E: Where have you been for three days, John? [00:15:18] Speaker D: Why. Why, I guess I've been. Dead. [00:15:27] Speaker E: John, I think you'd better get. What are you staring at, Ms. Pierce? [00:15:32] Speaker D: You. You got your hat on the bed. [00:15:43] Speaker E: All right, John. [00:15:44] Speaker C: Come on. [00:15:44] Speaker D: Come on where? [00:15:45] Speaker E: I'm gonna take my hat. Off to bed, John. [00:15:47] Speaker D: It's too late now. [00:15:48] Speaker E: Too late. [00:15:50] Speaker D: Sign it, dad. [00:15:50] Speaker E: Oh, stop that nonsense. I'm gonna put on my hat and get back to the theater. That play I'm trying to do will die the dead that way. Come on. You go back with me. Go back to work if you want to. You see? [00:16:02] Speaker D: See? [00:16:02] Speaker E: I've got my hat. [00:16:03] Speaker D: Now. [00:16:03] Speaker E: Let's go. Time to go, John. [00:16:06] Speaker D: Something will happen to us, Ms. Pierce. [00:16:07] Speaker E: What? Get run over by a taxi? [00:16:09] Speaker D: Don't talk that way. [00:16:10] Speaker E: Oh, stop it, Catherine. [00:16:13] Speaker D: Ms. Pierce, you know I don't like to be called by my last name. [00:16:17] Speaker E: Sometimes I'm not sure whether that's your last name or your first. [00:16:19] Speaker D: You're not to talk to me that way, Ms. De. [00:16:21] Speaker E: All right, then. Stop acting like an old man, maiden. Come along if you. [00:16:23] Speaker D: I don't want you talking to me like that. [00:16:25] Speaker E: All right, just stop talking nonsense then, and come on with me. Coming. I said, are you coming with me? [00:16:35] Speaker D: No, I'm not coming, John. [00:16:36] Speaker E: I've got. [00:16:37] Speaker D: You're not going either. [00:16:39] Speaker E: Now, look, this is Billy. Why aren't you. [00:16:43] Speaker D: I'm afraid. [00:16:44] Speaker E: Well, you're not going to stay here. [00:16:46] Speaker D: Please. [00:16:46] Speaker E: No. Come on now. Get up and come with me. [00:16:50] Speaker D: Won't you go either? [00:16:53] Speaker E: John, Are you all right? [00:16:56] Speaker D: I'm afraid. [00:16:58] Speaker E: What am I gonna do with you? [00:17:00] Speaker D: The hat on the bed. That was a sign of death for me. And I died a little the other night. Whenever it was. [00:17:05] Speaker E: You had a bad dream. No. [00:17:07] Speaker D: Your hat was on the bed. That's a sign of death for you. [00:17:11] Speaker E: That's ridiculous. [00:17:12] Speaker D: You're going to die. [00:17:13] Speaker E: Now, John, I've listened to just about everything. I'm going to listen to you. Just get up out of that chair and come on. [00:17:18] Speaker D: No. Yes, Please. [00:17:22] Speaker E: John, would you like it if I left you here? [00:17:25] Speaker D: No. [00:17:25] Speaker E: Look, John, it's half past two and I've got to be at the theater at three. Here, I'll put this nice pillow under your head. Won't that be nice and comfortable, John? [00:17:35] Speaker D: So sleepy. [00:17:37] Speaker E: Sure, Johnny. Captain, you'll be all right. You just stay there nice in the big chair and. And I'll go to the theater. Then I'll come back. You'll see. [00:17:47] Speaker D: Don't get killed. [00:17:52] Speaker E: Of course I won't. I'll be all right, Johnny. Catherine. And you'll be all right too. Right here. Go on. Go to sleep, Johnny. [00:17:59] Speaker D: Pray, go to sleep. [00:18:01] Speaker E: Poor guy is all worn out. [00:18:04] Speaker D: Well, you sleep, boy. [00:18:06] Speaker E: I'll be back around 10 o'. [00:18:07] Speaker D: Clock. John. [00:18:11] Speaker E: Good heavens, it's quarter to three already. Oh, darn. I won't answer it. Oh, I'm late already, I tell you. All right, all right, all right. [00:18:21] Speaker C: Yes? [00:18:22] Speaker E: Oh, hello, Tony. Yes, I'm on my way to the theater. I haven't got a minute to talk. Yes, yes, yes, I'll be home by 10, I hope. Matter of fact, I think you better. I'll tell you when I see you. Yes, here at the house. Well, I might have somebody I want you to get rid of. Wait. Now he's asleep. No, I'm not. Living a life of sin. This is one of the stageheads for the John J. Catherine, no less. That's right. The distinguished Shakespearean actor and quoter. I don't know. Potted, I think. Or else he's losing his buttons. Too much King Lear, I guess. Oh, no. I'm leaving him here to sleep it off. Oh, hats on a bed, all that stuff. He's all right now. Long as I'm not here. Look, Tony, I'm late. Suppose you meet me here at the house around 10. Sure, if he's still here, I'll let you throw him out. I'm gonna run. Goodbye. I'll see you tonight. Bye. You all right, John? Catherine. You asleep, Josh? Poor fella. [00:19:40] Speaker D: What was this? Oh, mysterious. Oh, I'm so thirsty. What time is it? Quarter to quarter two. I can't read my watch. Where's all the lights? Where do I get a drink of water? Oh, hang up in the blankets. Hey, where's Ms. Pierce? Ms. Pierce? Trust. Up handed, but like a fool. Pow. Like a pullet. Like a capon. Ms. Pierce? Oh, yes, she went out. What am I doing here? Oh, I remember. My gracious. I Have to get out of here before she comes back. My mouth. I shouldn't have had those cocktails before I came over here. I should know. I can't drink. What I need is a big, cold drink of water. Nice place you got here, Miss Pierce. Nice place you got. Although I can't say I like philodendrons. Where's her kitchen? I want a drink of water. I wish I could find a light. Oh, that. There it is. Oh, a quarter to 12 it is. I better be getting out of here. After I get a drink. Kitchen. Mighty little kitchen. Thanks for the kitchen. Now, where's the glass? We have glasses. Oh, man. Nothing like cold water. Thank you, Miss Pierce. Thank you very much. Miss Pierce, I find your drinking water excellent. Although it could be just a spot colder. Miss Pierce, I dislike you intensely. I do not love thee, Dr. Fell. The reason why I cannot tell, but this I know and know. Farewell. I do not love thee, Miss Pierce. [00:21:53] Speaker A: Hollow. [00:21:53] Speaker D: The why is not in my mind. In the mind of John J. Catrin, my friends, who might be the idol of millions, nay, billions, if Miss Evelyn Pierce, the eminent prince, will give him a chance to trod the. Pardon me. Tread the boards. Tread the boards in sock and muskin. Hand me my sock, Violet. I prithee, trust my points and I will reward thee with a cup of sack. Cup of sack. Sack of cups. Trust my points, whatever that is. One va. And I will reward thee with a cup of sack. Yea. Sir Walter Scott must have been a little stiff when he wrote that. Thou hast looked upon the wine when it is red, Sir Walter. Thou hast looked upon when it biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adding machine. [00:22:33] Speaker C: Here thou art. [00:22:34] Speaker D: Very funny this night, Sir John J. Catherine. Albeit a trifle corny, sir. I've got to get my large, bulky carcass out of here before Miss Pearse comes back. Or else Miss Pearce and I will get in the fight and then I won't get my job back, much less get a job as a broadshedder and sock and buskin. Remind me to ask, Miss Pierce, what is a buskin? I know what a sock is, Miss Pierce. A sock is what I'm going to give you when you're pretty cheerful if you don't stop being so mean to me. To Sir John J. Catryn, the sock and buskin man from Rockford, Illinois. Egad. Not to mention. Forsooth, Bassanio, my head hangeth over. I am now undrunk. Well, they would, my fair and fairly middling friend. I Would that thou wouldst speel to me whether this beldame hath perchance a small flagon of bourbon concealed on or about the premises. For I would drink of same and restore myself. Anan is there no way as Pierre Louis has the little girl say to Demetrius, is it no bourbon, but drink is stuff here. No scotch, no creme vet, no vintage wine, no. [00:23:44] Speaker E: Aha. [00:23:46] Speaker D: I see you. I see you. John Jameson's excellent pot still product of which I must pay will miss not a jotter at chittered out of a bottle which I will tipple. Thank you, Ms. Pierce. You have a regrettable habit of leaving hats on beds. But here's to you. That is meat and drink, not to mention pie in the sky. No. Mmoiselle Pierce out here remarked in his flawless, flawless flesh. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:24:25] Speaker D: I will have another dollar for the same. Ms. Pierce, you un delightful old bag. Old sack, Old cover sack. Arigato or p. He remarked in flawless Japanese. And for this short snort which will cure my hangover completely. Short, I will say in my flawless double talk framis on the scrivenae. Now I will replace the somewhat attenuated bottle from which I have received back my body and my soul reading from left to right. And before I retire into the stilly night, I will favor this large and intelligent audience with a selection from the Bard. Not ben Bard. He is a comic. The Bard of Avon. Situate by an odd coincidence, hard by the banks of the river Stratford. Or vice versa, as the case may be in sunny England. Which I will favor you with a large jagged hunk of Shakespeare. Or is my ancient and deceased friend, what was his name? In the chauffeury many, many years ago as want to say jackass. Russian for Shakespeare. I crave your F10, Mr. John J. Catrin as Macbeth. Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand. Come, let me clutch the thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not fatal visions sensible the feeling is to sight? Or art thou but a dagger of the mind, A false creation proceeding from the heat oppressed brain. I see thee yet in form as palpable as this which now I draw. The lights went out. Where's the lights? This Pierce? Turn on the lights. Ms. Pierce isn't here. Where's Ms. Pierce? I'm going to get out of here. Ms. Pierce. You come in your nice house in the dark, find me here. Or a pull of your liquor here. Where's the door? I can't find the door. I can't Find I. Where's the chair? Where's the door? Ms. Pierce. Please, Ms. Pierce. And lost again in the dark, Ms. Pierce. Has happened again. You did it to me this time, Ms. Pierce. You put your hat out of the bed. And you made a dock in your house, too, Ms. Pierce. I'm lost. This is no dream, Ms. Pierce. [00:27:04] Speaker C: Where are you? [00:27:05] Speaker D: Where am I? Where's the door? Where's the door? Where does it go? I know where this door goes. This is the door, Ms. Pierce. Where does this door go? No, where is it? You went and you put your hat on the bed. You did. You put your hat on the bed. You put your hat on the bed. That's a sign of death, Ms. Pierce. Putting a hat on the bed. Where? I can't see on it. Oh, I know where I am now. Oh, I was so scared. Never mind, Ms. Pierce. I know where I am now. Here's a chair. Hello, chair. Here's a little table. Good evening, little table in the dark. I beg your pardon, Table. And I'm all right now, Ms. Pierce. I'll get out just as soon as I can find the door. In the dark, Ms. Pierce. Oh, how I hate. Ms. Pierce. I'm going. Oh, where's the bed? Isn't it the bed? The bed, Ms. Pierce. That's where you threw your hat. Hat on the bed. Sign of death. Holy Pierce. I guess I'll just lie down and take care of the rest. Why. Why, your hat's still here on the bed, Ms. Pierce. Sign of death, Ms. Pierce. Leaving your hat on the bed. Sign of death for sure. Silly old Miss Pierce, leaving her hat on the bed. Why, Miss Pierce, you left your head inside your hat. The title of tonight's Quiet, Please story is the Hat, the Bed and John J. Catherine. It was written and directed by Willis Cooper. The man who spoke to you was Ernest Chapel. And Ms. Pierce was played by Nancy Sheridan, as usual. For Quiet, Please is by Albert Berman. For a word about next week's Quiet, Please, here is our writer director, my good friend Willis Cooper. Okay, Bill, thank you for listening to Quiet, Please. Next week's story is called La fille au Chevalier. The Girl with the Flaxen Hair. And so until next week, en la trio chevre, I am glad to yours, Ernest Chapel. Foreign. [00:30:01] Speaker A: That was the hat, the bed and John J. Catherine from Quiet, Please. Here in the mysterious old radio Listening society podcast once again. I'm Eric. [00:30:11] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:30:11] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:30:13] Speaker A: Can you please hang with me for the entire thought process of what I'm about To tell you. [00:30:20] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:21] Speaker C: No. [00:30:22] Speaker A: Please. Come on. [00:30:23] Speaker C: Can I say no? [00:30:24] Speaker A: Yeah, you can, but you're not. [00:30:25] Speaker C: Go ahead. [00:30:27] Speaker A: So I'm listening to this thing. Let's say it's 30 minutes long. I don't know exactly long. Let's say it's 30 minutes long. For 29 minutes and 50 seconds of this, I was going like this. Whatever. I'm so bored. I hate this. And at the very end, I went, oh, my God, this is brilliant. Oh, your head's still in your hat. Knock on the door. And I went, oh, I was so bored. And I didn't like it. And then I realized, oh, my God, I love this so much. It is a risky storytelling in the sense of you have to stick with this until the last sentence to get what's happening and why. And even then, we're not sure what has happened. Was he dreaming the whole thing and woke up after killing her because he hated her? I know these are all things we're going to discuss, and there's so many levels to this, but I just wanted you to hear that I went from boo to wow. It was really fun for me. [00:31:42] Speaker C: Wow. [00:31:43] Speaker A: It was really fun for me to have that moment. I literally stood up from my chair and went, oh, cool. So thank you, Joshua. [00:31:54] Speaker C: You're welcome. I suppose now I have to wait to see what Tim's broad stroke opinion is. [00:32:01] Speaker B: This is not that. But the title of this is pretty close to iambic pentameter. [00:32:09] Speaker A: Oh, look at you. And he was a Shakespearean. [00:32:11] Speaker C: Not surprise me. [00:32:13] Speaker A: Look at you picking up on that. [00:32:15] Speaker C: Nice. [00:32:16] Speaker B: The John Jay is a little more of a spondy than an Iam. But. [00:32:21] Speaker C: But you can kind of retcon that and say John J. Catherine would probably half ass his iambic pentameter as a character. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Right, right. Good point. [00:32:32] Speaker B: I love this. And part of that was having faith in Willis Cooper of. I don't know how long that speech at the end is. [00:32:39] Speaker C: Yeah, It's a full 10 minutes. [00:32:41] Speaker A: Yes. [00:32:42] Speaker B: The fact that I have faith that, all right, this is gonna be something means I can just sit back and enjoy this. [00:32:48] Speaker C: And that's an important point because I think the speech is funny and enjoyable. Yes. In and of itself. [00:32:55] Speaker A: Yeah. It wasn't the second time through. [00:32:58] Speaker C: Did you learn a lesson? [00:33:00] Speaker A: I sure did. Listen, I'm not gonna. I am not gonna defend my. I learned a very good lesson in this of stop being so judgy. [00:33:11] Speaker C: I'm relieved that Eric, in particular, enjoyed it. I wasn't sure exactly where Tim would land, but I Honestly first heard this a while ago when our patron Amy recommended it for one of our happy hours. We were doing a happy hour that was a theater and actor themed, and I listened to it and I went, no, this is mine. I'm bringing it to the podcast. But then what happened is I thought for sure I would have to defend it really hard. And depending on the day we record, sometimes I'm like, I don't really have the fight in me. And it's a new year, and kind of in keeping with what Tim said about the cave, I went, I'm bringing an episode for me and let the chips fall where they may. [00:34:03] Speaker A: And what did I do? Last week brought Dangerous Assignment. [00:34:06] Speaker C: That was for me, an unintentional New Year trilogy. Right. For me, screw you guys, the Year of Selfishness. But, yeah, this just blew me away the first time I heard it. And like you, Eric, I wasn't sure I understood anything that happened, but bits and pieces of it made me realized that there was a lot going on in it. And then I listened to it a second time and I was like, I'm not sure what happened. And I don't think it was till, like the third time that I started to really feel like I could see many of the things Cooper was doing all at the same time. Not that. Part of what I love about this is that it is so ambiguous and it sort of refuses a singular interpretation. It can be everything at once. Is this story about masculine anxiety? There's a lot of that in here. Is it a story of the acceptance of death? There's all this literary reference throughout it from Macbeth, the other poem I'm forgetting about. It's Greek, but it means a consideration of death that he quotes of like, where you're equating sleep and death. Is it about social isolation? He's totally abandoned by the theater community. He's a relic. He's alone. Is it about theater as sexual assumption? I don't know. You could just go on and on. Or is it a parable about alcoholism? [00:35:42] Speaker A: Correct. [00:35:42] Speaker C: All these things at once. [00:35:44] Speaker A: What I love about this is that we're discussing it because this is the best episode ever in our 400 and some episodes for what amounts to a really good opportunity for, like a book club type discussion. [00:36:01] Speaker C: It's very literary. [00:36:02] Speaker A: What did you think? What did you think of this? Well, what does this mean? What about that I would think, you know, this. We could go on and on. For example, there's a great moment where, and I think my favorite, other than your head's in the hat where she offers him a cigarette and he says, I don't smoke. You know that. And, and I don't know how long later, four minutes later, would you like a cigarette? And he says, you know, I don't smoke. And she says, oh yeah, I forgot. The second time she offers him a cigarette and he just states the same thing. And she responds the same way. Is odd the first time through, because you go, why wouldn't you respond hey, I just told you I don't smoke, like two minutes ago? And why didn't she respond with oh, right, sorry, I forgot, instead of saying, so the reason I love that is because it leads me down where I believe this is like, I know it's ambiguous, but there's a part of me that just wants to wrap my head around it completely. That part of it tells me that he at that moment is in a blackout drunk dream. Because that's a dream thing to happen. Do you know what I'm saying? And that's brilliant writing where someone repeats something and that kind of thing happens in a dream. [00:37:20] Speaker C: That doesn't make sense, that idea. He also, in that same conversation, is offered a drink. And he says he doesn't drink, right? Correct. He says, I'm not drunk. When she accuses him of being drunk and then she leaves and he wakes up and he's like, oh, I shouldn't have had all those cocktails before I got drunk. He says he doesn't absolutely contradict, but. [00:37:37] Speaker B: She does offer him a drink and he says, I don't drink. [00:37:38] Speaker C: Oh, he does? [00:37:39] Speaker A: Yeah, he says, I don't drink, which is what you might say in your dream, you know, and then, yes, I believe this is my theory, this entire thing is a dream. I think that he's mad at his job, doesn't like her, gets drunk. And what we're listening to, all of it, is a dream that, including the dark room, is symbolic of a blackout. A blackout drunk and not being able to find anything and find your way through is blackout drunk. But then I think that the moment it stops being a dream is the last 10 minute monologue where he wakes up in her house. I think he goes over there drunk and he kills her and then passes out. The other thing that's interesting, what time? They're very specific. I'll be home, she says on the phone, by 10. What time is it? When he wakes up and sees the clock, it's close to midnight. So we already know that she should have been home by then. So I think that was part of the dream as well, I think. [00:38:42] Speaker C: But he describes a dream, or what he calls a preview of death, in which everything that happens once Ms. Pierce leaves her apartment happens again. Yes, but he says in that first dream or preview of death that she was there with him. [00:38:59] Speaker A: Right. Which is dreamlike as well. [00:39:01] Speaker C: Experienced it. [00:39:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:39:03] Speaker C: One of the aspects of it that fascinates me is how aware both of them are that they are performing. She is introduced when she interrupts his first person narration to the listener and she contradicts him and they're competing for unreliable narrator status. [00:39:23] Speaker A: Right. [00:39:23] Speaker C: And then you have those things where he's quitting and he's quit before and he checks his grammar with her. Is that right? [00:39:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:39:33] Speaker C: And so I'm meandering my way back to your point. There's almost an interpretation of repeating, do you want a cigarette? No, thanks, I don't smoke. To dropping a line and finding your way back into the script. [00:39:47] Speaker B: Quote, that particular exchange of hay ringing again, like, do you want to say, good, I don't smoke. And going back to that, it made me think of waiting for Godot to support this idea of this is a show about shows. Which is not to say that that denies any other interpretation because it does open itself up to all these things that you've said. At the opening, their relationship seemed so, to me, amicable. They seemed like just a fun back and forth comedy duo that it was weird to see that ebb and flow until finally, this is not funny at all. [00:40:25] Speaker C: But even when they're being comic and lighthearted with each other, it's antagonistic a little bit. [00:40:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:29] Speaker C: The words they're actually saying is, he hates my viscera. Right. And he says, I hate you. I do not like you at all. He does that twist on the nursery rhyme during his 10 minute monologue. It is repeated again and again. [00:40:44] Speaker B: But in this monologue it's, I hate her, but I also, I want her. [00:40:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Because she can let me back into the theater. [00:40:53] Speaker A: That's a fascinating thing you just said, Tim. The dialogue and the banter of this does remind me of. And I'm going to be a total on purpose nerd. It does remind me of Waiting for Gato. But, oh, by the way, I saw Bill Irwin at the Guthrie here performing and he's done Gadot a thousand times and he addresses that and he says, you can call it Godot, it's fine. [00:41:21] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:41:22] Speaker C: Bill Irwin. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:41:22] Speaker A: And he's the aficionado on the piece. And I was so relieved by that because I was like, oh, good, it's not pretentious. Anyway, the dialogue of this and the play of this, of those two in that scene really is. I never realized that till now. It really does have that feel to it, doesn't it? Like they're stuck and it doesn't make sense what they're saying to each other. Yet it does. [00:41:42] Speaker C: And back to the cave. When I heard the cave from a couple weeks ago that Tim brought, I was like, oh, what a pair these are. Because there's a lot of cyclical repetition in here that he has quit over and over again. And then we have the repeat of the blackened room, the repeat of dialogue. There's all this repetition and cyclical events. [00:42:06] Speaker B: I shouldn't have had all those drinks. I should have some more drinks. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Right Again, the dark room. For me, there is no way we can have this discussion. Anybody can end up on a definitive what the narrative is of this. Right. But to me, the black room is absolutely representational. Blackout drunk. [00:42:27] Speaker C: It's also representing a dark theater. Right. A closed theater. The curtain has fallen on his career. He only gets on stage when it's dark. He has to hang out and go do his rambling Shakespeare monologues. Which is exactly. When he's in the dark room, he goes right to doing the Macbeth dagger monologue, which is also the monologue that Macbeth does right before he kills Duncan. [00:42:55] Speaker B: Refers to himself as the porter. And at the end, there's knocking. [00:42:59] Speaker C: Yep. [00:42:59] Speaker A: Jesus. [00:43:00] Speaker C: And that end is great because it's absolutely ambiguous. Yet that doorbell provides closure. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:43:09] Speaker C: While also leaving it incredibly open ended because it doesn't answer. So the existence of a doorbell tells you in this darkened room, there's a door and it's closed. Literal closure. It's shut. But there's someone behind that door who. [00:43:22] Speaker A: Walks in, which is the. It's the guy that she said in the conversation. [00:43:27] Speaker C: Tony. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Tony, that was gonna come. I'll be home by 10. To me, it was him coming. And that. [00:43:32] Speaker C: I think it's John Goodman who is staying in the hotel room next door. [00:43:39] Speaker A: Barton Fink. [00:43:40] Speaker C: There's a lot of Barton Finkiness in. [00:43:42] Speaker B: Here, but I think it's her body. [00:43:45] Speaker D: But you're also. [00:43:46] Speaker A: You're right. It's just the head on the bed. [00:43:49] Speaker C: The. [00:43:49] Speaker A: The idea, though is, oh, there's a head in here. Knock, knock. Is that moment where you realized for me, oh, you've murdered somebody and now someone's at the door and you're going to get caught because you passed out drunk and didn't get out of there. Do you see what I'm saying? [00:44:05] Speaker B: Like, I mean, at the very least, like, whatever situation got you here, you're in trouble. Yeah. [00:44:10] Speaker C: Right now, knock, knock. [00:44:13] Speaker A: And you know, oh, you are in trouble even if you didn't kill her for some reason. [00:44:19] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:44:19] Speaker A: God, it's wonderful. [00:44:20] Speaker B: See what I'm landing? I'm like, yeah, yeah, A lot of Barton Fink. [00:44:23] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a lot of Barton Fink in that. [00:44:25] Speaker C: Yeah, there's. [00:44:27] Speaker B: I think Willis Cooper stole this from Barton Fink. [00:44:31] Speaker C: The thing that struck me, too, because while John J. Catherine quotes a lot of Shakespeare, he comes back to. And I think that's important. And it struck me that, oh, in this story, if we are to believe that this is not a dream and he did kill in some blackout state or not remember it, or someone else. [00:44:53] Speaker B: Killed the Duncan stand in. [00:44:55] Speaker C: Yeah, right. That the hat on the bed as a superstition, stands in for the Weird Sisters prophecy. [00:45:05] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:45:05] Speaker C: Because once he sees the hat on the bed, all his actions are in response to that, and it pushes him toward these actions that he may actually have always been harboring his hatred of Ms. Pierce. But the hat on the bed becomes the justification for it, the way the Weird Sisters prophecy that MC Beth will sit on the throne becomes his justification for all his actions going forward. [00:45:37] Speaker A: Wow. [00:45:37] Speaker B: But anyway, Beth, it's his head who's off at the end. [00:45:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:41] Speaker B: But he's his own head in the hat. We figured it out. [00:45:47] Speaker C: Yeah, There it is. [00:45:49] Speaker A: There it is. [00:45:51] Speaker C: But again, I'm Tim, tell him stuff. What did you see when he says, oh, and her head's still in it. Did you see the entire body? I did. Or did you see a dismembered head? [00:46:01] Speaker A: I see the whole body. That he's in the dark, feels the hat, and then realize there's a head in it. And to me, it's just, oh, she's dead on the bed. [00:46:10] Speaker B: I saw severed head. [00:46:11] Speaker C: My immediate thought was severed head. But again, I'm wondering how much of that is the connections I unconsciously made. [00:46:19] Speaker B: With Barton Fink or to Macbeth, Because I would think he would say, you're still wearing the hat. [00:46:26] Speaker C: Yes. [00:46:27] Speaker A: Question for you guys. The hat on the bed. [00:46:32] Speaker B: Superstition. [00:46:33] Speaker A: Superstition. I cannot remember where I've heard it before. Was it something in this podcast? [00:46:42] Speaker C: Our very first Patreon only podcast was an episode of Origins of Superstition that dealt with. [00:46:50] Speaker A: Thank you. That's right. [00:46:51] Speaker C: On the bed. [00:46:52] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:46:53] Speaker C: It was a bizarre, hilarious episode. I'm tempted to release it as A general audience preview along with this episode. [00:47:02] Speaker A: You should. Because I was trying to rack my brain for where have I heard this theory before? [00:47:08] Speaker B: The superstitions of hat on bed, no hats on beds and no shoes on a table. Those are things I learned in college. And I still. I know in my mind it's fine, but it weirds me out to do it. [00:47:19] Speaker A: Really. [00:47:19] Speaker C: And was it through your theater experiences in college? [00:47:22] Speaker B: No, through your friends. [00:47:24] Speaker A: I'm weirded out by. I don't say Macbeth in a theater. There's no justification for that. [00:47:32] Speaker C: There is another great connection with focusing on Macbeth is the superstitious aspects of the play with the hat on the bed. And the hat on the bed. The most, I think, believable origin for that superstition is the European one that seems to trace it back to people on their deathbed that the doctor or the priest coming in to do the last rites would, when they're tending to the patient or the person in bed, take their hat off and set it there. And so that became a omen of someone about to die. And also thematically, with this play links all the ideas of sleep and death together and the room and the bed. [00:48:17] Speaker B: So Willis Cooper was, like, super high. [00:48:19] Speaker C: When he realized, or just on, like, speed, he was like. All these connections. [00:48:28] Speaker B: Like, if Willis Cooper sat down, I'm gonna write, like, Arch Oblor. I'm just gonna vomit out everything in my head. [00:48:35] Speaker A: Right. [00:48:35] Speaker C: But it's so much better structure. Sorry to pick on Arch. I love Arch. And what he does, he does well. But this is correct. Pretty amazing. And then if you step even farther back, there's a level that this is just him having a laugh. This is like some shaggy dad joke told by David Lynch. Right? Gotcha. And it did remind me of David lynch, too. If we're talking about the Coen brothers. And very specifically, that, like, the best of lynch and occasionally the Coen brothers, they do so many different styles, so it's not always pertinent to their work. But there is an internal logic here that you can sense but not really articulate. So while it is open ended and ambiguous, that's why, to me, it feels satisfying. [00:49:32] Speaker A: Right? [00:49:34] Speaker C: We've often beat up on poor Scott Bishop of dark fantasy fame. But I mean this. Unlike Scott Bishop, who I think has an abundance of imagination, but way more imagination than he has technical proficiency in writing, here you have somebody who has mastered the medium and the craft of writing, and now he can start breaking all the rules. [00:50:02] Speaker A: Right? [00:50:02] Speaker B: And that last speech, it's so much like it's spiraling and falling and it just like this isn't gonna land anywhere. This is just going in infinite, right? Gibberish. Not gibberish, but riffing on classic themes. And then it's all he does ends quite abruptly. [00:50:25] Speaker C: I love his willingness. I mean, yes, a lazy writer's like, I'm gonna put the entire dagger monolog. But that commitment was great. And it was great to hear Chapel do that monologue in this character. Slightly drunk. It's such a great performance. And to me, it's why I emphasize in the intro that this is the last original script and feels to me like the last episode of Quiet Please. And this is just a beautiful swan song. And that 10 minute monologue captures why these two men were just such an amazing team. [00:51:00] Speaker A: How about the fact that this is somewhat open ended and a lot of somewhat. This is open ended, period, in a lot of ways. A lot of interpretations, not the least of which we don't know who's at the door or what's on the bed or, you know, there's a lot of things. And I liked it. [00:51:15] Speaker C: I know. I am shocked. [00:51:18] Speaker A: And it doesn't bother me. [00:51:19] Speaker C: Thought the theater stuff might get you, but I was like, you gotta have a lot of patience here. [00:51:25] Speaker A: Oh, you do need a lot of patience. Because I ran out of patience and. [00:51:28] Speaker C: I was like, I expect angry emails from listeners. [00:51:31] Speaker B: I will say this did not have any submarines. [00:51:37] Speaker A: Any what? [00:51:38] Speaker B: No submarines. [00:51:38] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it did not have submarines. [00:51:40] Speaker C: But it has a lot of submerged ideas. [00:51:44] Speaker A: Oh, look at you. Okay, I'm back on board. [00:51:50] Speaker C: Oh, there's another great theater death reference that I thought was pretty clever. I think it's when John is first describing the first dream that he says is a preview of death. And he's talking about stumbling across the room and he says, I couldn't find the light. I couldn't find any light. Which on like my third listen was like, oh, we've got the idea of moving toward the light. But also this old actor who can't find his light anymore. [00:52:16] Speaker A: Right. [00:52:17] Speaker C: Again, brought me back to that image of a dark, closed theater and this dark room. [00:52:22] Speaker B: Parenthetical for folks who aren't theater carny folk out there. Actors will often be chided to go find your light, which is theater lighting is in certain places on stage and that you want to get the brightest part of the light on your face. And so often you'll find in less experienced actors, they have trouble getting their face lit right, so they look weird. [00:52:46] Speaker A: It is a skill set that actually I teach at the high school level, like find you'd light. And we do a whole thing where it doesn't take long, takes 20 minutes, but then they actually learn. Oh, I feel it. Yeah, I feel it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm in the light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:53:04] Speaker C: I feel like we could talk about this for another 30 minutes. [00:53:06] Speaker A: We absolutely could. [00:53:08] Speaker C: I think we should go for our vote, though. [00:53:12] Speaker A: 100% classic. I'm just voting. I. I love this so much. The fact that I was caught so off guard. This remind. And please. I'm not comparing this, but the last time I felt this was the Sixth Sense movie where I did not know I was the guy. And I went, what? [00:53:31] Speaker D: He's dead. [00:53:32] Speaker A: Spoiler. Yeah. And I freaked out. And the other one was. What's the. What's the Kevin Spacey movie? [00:53:42] Speaker B: The Usual Suspects. [00:53:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Usual. I had no idea. [00:53:45] Speaker C: Eyes are so Z. [00:53:48] Speaker A: I literally had those in both of those movies went, no, like. And people I was with had figured it out 20 minutes earlier. [00:53:55] Speaker C: You're Luke's father. [00:53:59] Speaker A: But this gave me that thrill of whoa. And I. It has been a long time since something's caught me that off guard. Suspense tries so earnestly to give you that twist that you go. And I do. You know, I go, good twist, but not this. And then to listen to it again. All these things we talked about and some things I never thought of. Of course, you guys have brought up a lot of things I didn't catch. [00:54:25] Speaker C: I'm sure there's tons that we missed. [00:54:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:27] Speaker C: It's something that you can listen to again and again and find new details. [00:54:31] Speaker A: Yep. So I will say this. And I. We made the joke that I have a top five that's now up to six. My top five is at seven. [00:54:41] Speaker B: It's in doctor. [00:54:42] Speaker C: Look at that. [00:54:42] Speaker B: It's pretty. [00:54:47] Speaker A: No, it's in there. It's in my top ever. For sure. [00:54:51] Speaker B: I will also say classic. It is both. Like, this is technically all the things you want in a radio show. That it's done expertly. And it is personally, all the things that I'm like, mad jealous of. [00:55:07] Speaker C: Writing. [00:55:07] Speaker B: Theater stuff in a way that is great as opposed to just self indulgent. [00:55:12] Speaker A: There's that, too. There's that slight anger of, oh, I'm not that good a writer. I wish I could weave something that intricate. [00:55:23] Speaker B: Stuff I try to do like. No, you really can't get away with that. [00:55:26] Speaker C: Unless your Willis Cooper. [00:55:28] Speaker A: One thing that. And I know we're voting, but I didn't say that I wanted to and you kind of touched on it. Joshua, Ernest Chappell is so brilliant in this. He doesn't sound like Ernest Chappell. [00:55:42] Speaker C: The first time I listened to it, I had to go, oh, right, That's Ernest Chappell. [00:55:45] Speaker A: It's a brilliant piece of character work to step out of a show where you go, I love your voice. You sound like Ernest Chappell. I don't care. You know what I mean? Because I love your voice and I love your acting. This was. That's Ernest Chapel. [00:56:02] Speaker C: So, yeah, I think this falls short of class. I'm kidding. It is definitely a classic. Maybe if I could give it. Any caveat would be it's a cautious classic, because it's probably not for everyone. It does. [00:56:18] Speaker A: It's a classic for us. [00:56:19] Speaker C: It requires attentive listening. This is the opposite of last week's correct background listening that punishes close listening. But if you, you know, you cannot wrap yourself in the drapery of the couch, to quote that poem earlier, you need to sit up, lean in, and listen hard. But if you do, it is so rewarding. It's incredibly rich. And I think, like almost no other. Quiet, please. That I have heard. It really demonstrates Cooper's capacity for really innovative experimental writing, but also radio as a medium's ability to present that in such a powerful way. And for my money, it is my favorite Ernest Chappell performance. So a fitting final collaboration between the two. [00:57:20] Speaker A: Yep. Thank you, Joshua. [00:57:24] Speaker C: Thank you, Amy, for recommending it to me. [00:57:27] Speaker A: Tim, tell him stuff, please. [00:57:28] Speaker B: Go visit ghoulishchloights.com, home of this podcast. You'll find episodes that we do there. Of course, you can find them anywhere, [email protected] you can leave comments. You can let us know what you thought about these things. You can also find links to, like, hey, I want to know what every episode of Suspense you've done. You can just go to our archive page and figure that out. I could tell you now, but you'll figure it out. [00:57:51] Speaker C: Thank you, Eric. [00:57:53] Speaker B: You can also find links to our merchandise store. Get yourself a T shirt. Get yourself a coffee mug. Get something. [00:57:58] Speaker C: Put on some pants. Crying out loud. [00:58:01] Speaker B: And also find a link to our Patreon page. [00:58:03] Speaker C: Yes, go to patreon.com themorals and become a member of the mysterious old radio listening Society. If you become a member, you too can recommend an episode to me, which I steal and present as my own recommendation. So, again, a thank you to Amy. And there are all sorts of great benefits if you Become a member of the mysterious old Radio Listening society, including. I'm just gonna tear off the band aid and say we will give you a little preview of the kind of episodes we do as Patreon only episodes. And we'll release our Origins of superstition episode about the hat on the bed. [00:58:43] Speaker A: The mysterious old radio Listening society is also a theater company that performs live on stage audio drama, doing recreations of classic old time radio shows and a lot of our own original work. None of is written this well as well as Cooper, do you? [00:59:01] Speaker C: But this is not a script you could do live. [00:59:05] Speaker A: No, no one would want to see this. [00:59:06] Speaker C: Well, you. It requires you to go back. They would literally have to stand up and go like Teletubbies again. Again. [00:59:13] Speaker B: Oh, I'm not doing many more shows for Teletubbies. [00:59:17] Speaker A: We learned our lesson. If you want to see us performing live on stage, Please go visit ghoulishdelights.com where you will see what we're perform, what shows we're performing, where and how to get tickets at schoolish for lights.com. and if you can't, come see us performing audio plays on stage. If you're a Patreon, we record them and the audio is given made available really like this. Provided this is some audio of those shows and you get that too for being a Patreon. Hey, what's coming up next? [00:59:54] Speaker B: Coming up next, we have a request from one of our Patreon supporters, Cole. Cole suggests we listen to an episode of Suspense entitled Fragile Death. Until then. [01:00:07] Speaker D: Why, Ms. Pierce, you left your head inside your hat. Look upon me. [01:00:21] Speaker C: What? [01:00:22] Speaker D: Show you the life of the vine. Look upon me. I show you the life of the mind. I show you the life of the mind. I'll show you the life of the mind. I will show you the life of the mind.