Episode 327: The Coffin in Studio B

[00:00:27] Speaker A: Welcome to mysterious old Radio Listening Society. Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime, and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:36] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:00:36] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:37] Speaker D: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:42] Speaker C: Today, we present an episode of my choosing the coffin in Studio B from Lights Out. [00:00:49] Speaker A: Lights out was created by writer Willis Cooper in 1934 and quickly gained a reputation as the goriest, most shocking program on radio. When Cooper left the series to pursue a career in Hollywood, NBC hired writer director Arch Obler to take his place. [00:01:05] Speaker C: Over the next two and a half years, Obler wrote more than 100 plays for the series, establishing himself as one of radio's leading voices. Like Cooper, Obler's success with lights out led him to leave the program in pursuit of other opportunities. Unlike Cooper, Obler returned to lights out many times during his career, usually when he needed a quick buck. This is fortunate for fans today because most of the surviving copies of Lights out come from these short lived revival series from the mid to late 1940s. [00:01:37] Speaker A: These later iterations of Lights out also resurrected a number of Willis Cooper's early scripts for the program, including the play you're about to hear. Sadly, none of the original productions from Cooper's era of Lights out are known to exist today. [00:01:52] Speaker D: The title the Coffin in Studio B is a nod to the real life Studio B, located at station we NR in Chicago, where Lights out was originally broadcast and is only one of many references to the early days of the program. [00:02:05] Speaker C: And now let's listen to the coffin in Studio B from Lights out, broadcast July 13, 1946, as part of a revival series focused on classic Willis Cooper scripts. First aired sometime in the mid 1930s. [00:02:21] Speaker A: It's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:02:37] Speaker B: Lights out, everybody. This is the witching hour. You it is the hour when dogs howl and evil is let loose on a sleeping world. Want to hear about it? Then turn out your lights. Brings you lights out. A revival of the eight best stories in the series, which many of our listeners will remember. Willis Cooper is your author and Albert Cruz your director. Sit in the dark now and listen to lights out. And what will you do if I want something very unpleasant, my dear chap? For example? For example, it is quite possible that I will kill you, you amazement. No, I assure you, I'm quite serious. Not impossible at all. May I ask just how you propose to end my life? Shall I say I shall cut your throat? Neatly, and as the books have it, with dispatch. You've been reading books? Then we're wasting time. What's the answer? The answer is the same as it has always been. You refuse, then? I refuse. Yes. Very well. You forced me to become a murderer. Cut. Look, I don't want to throw you up on this first reading, but not much is coming through in here. I don't know just how to say it, but it just doesn't gel for some reason or other. Now, let's think about these lines. Well, let's hold it a minute. What's the matter, George? Who is it, me or Ed? Well, I hate to throw you up on this first reading, but, Fritz, I think it's you. Something wrong? It's the attack on the part. Or maybe you're throwing those lines away without any sincerity. There's no menace in the part. You see what I mean? Well, look, let me come on out. Hammond again, eh, Fritz? Okay, character, let it alone. I'm having enough trouble. Look, he can act honest, George. Fella's got a card. All right, let's can the funny stuff. Ed, we got some work to do, and I want you to just pay attention, if you don't mind. All right. Look, Fitz, how do you feel in this thing? I don't know. It's not right. I don't know what to do, though. Well, you don't sound convincing. You see my point? Yeah. Have you got any ideas on how you might do it? No. Wait a minute. What about dialect? I could do a little german. German? Wait a minute. No, I don't think I want any german on this thing. I hear too much of that. Some Austrian. No, that's too close to German. How's your French? How's your French? Let's see how your French is. Oh, it's all right. No, look, I don't want to make him too definite, see? He should be a kind of a combination. A lot of menace in there. Quiet. But I got to believe the guy. Make him. Let's see, what's that word? I want him to. Carmelo. That's it. Not too much now, just a whip. Okay, let me try it. All right, we'll try it now. From the top. That's right. Okay. And what will you do if I won't? Something very unpleasant, my dear chap. For example? For example, it is quite possible that I will kill you. You amaze me. I assure you, I am quite serious. Okay, hold it. How's it doing? Now? How's it sound? Are you asking me or the director? Well, it sounds better than it did before. I think you'll work into it. Yeah, well, look. Yeah, I think that'll do it. What do you say we put it up on the mic and let's see how it sounds. Take that whole scene over. How is it for age, George? Oh, the age is okay. I want a little bit of age. Not too much age. All right? Just about right. Rehearsals. Rehearsals. Well, it beats digging ditches for a living, I guess. Oh, does it? So they tell me. Well, anyway, it's cool in here. Thank the Lord for air conditioning. I wish it was 930. Okay, characters. Now, give me that. Afraid number five now, will you? And let's hear it again from the top. And what will you do if I won't? Something very unpleasant, my dear chap. For example? For example, it is quite possible I would kill you. You amaze me. I assure you, I am quite serious. Possible. Not impossible at all. May I ask just how you propose to end my life? Should I say, I shall cut your throat? Neatly, and as the books have it, with dispatch? Oh, you've been reading books? Then we are wasting time. What's the answer? The answer is the same as it has always been. You refuse? Then? I refuse. Yes, I will. You forced me to become a murderer. Lord Fritz, you sound about as much like a murderer as. Oh, I give up. For the love of Mike, George. What? Do you want me to growl? No, no, I don't want you to growl. But I do want you. If you won't find it too inconvenient to act just a little bit like a murderer, you know, a murderer? A guy that kills people. Yeah. He wants you to make faces for. Shut up. Wait. I'll come out there again. How you doing, kid? Can I give up? I don't know what the man wants. Now, listen, sweetheart, have you the faintest idea how a guy acts when he's going to kill somebody? Have you? No, but I got a hunch I'm going to know about it in a minute. Oh, well, that'll be swell, because the way you're doing it now, a guy thinks that you're Ed's brother or something. Get it through your thick skull that we got a show in a few minutes. We're going on the air radio, remember? You see, you're supposed to be a murderer. I know, but it's going to come a lot easier if you can't take. Oh, nuts. All right. Well, let's try it again. Take it from that line. The answer is the same as it has always been. Ed. Go ahead. All right. The answer is the same as it has always been. You refuse? Pardon me? You refuse, then. Hey, George. Now what? Well, what do you want? There's an old Jen out here wanting to see you. What's he want? I don't know. Well, tell him to go. No, no, wait. Who is he? I don't know. How can I keep a character? Sometimes I wonder. And he says he wants to see Ed, not you. Who is he? Won't give his name. Probably some guy that you owe money to. You should talk. Well, look, tell him. Well, listen, we're right in the middle of a rehearsal. Go ahead and talk to him, Ed. We can smoke a cigarette or play tiddly wings, but listen, you tell him to make it snappy. We got a show to get, right? All right. Tell him to come in here, Horace. Well, there you are, Mr. Hendley. Good evening, sir. Good evening. Why, I don't believe I've ever had. Don't know me. Well, I know you, Mr. Hendley. Mr. Edney. Yes, sir. He owes the old guy dough, all right. I'm afraid I don't. I come up to show you my book. I figured you'd like to have a look at it now while you have the chance. Just in case you had any choice. Folks don't often have the choice, you know. Choice? Choice of what? Now, here, let me show you the book. I won't be a minute. I don't like to disturb your work, you know. But it's got to be done, I guess. Now, this one here. Ye gods. Coffin? What? Coffins? Look, the catalog of coffins. Caskets? Yes, that's right. Yes, sir. The neatest line of caskets in the country. Handled nothing but the best. No, sir. Now, looky here. This number. A 1436, ain't it? Yes. All gray silk. Solid silver. Hence. Say, listen, what is this for? This model? A 54 99 in mahogany. Wait a minute, Mr. What's this all about? Why, I just figured Mr. Hendy kind of like to pick himself out a casket. Well, who are you? Joe, about up the book here to show him. I've got my tape measure right here in my. Ah, it's a rib, George. Somebody sent him up. No, nobody sent me. I just thought Mr. Henley. Well, look, Mr. Henley's busy. We're rehearsing a radio show here, and we've got just a few more minutes before we go. On the air. So if you don't mind. I know you're rehearsing lights out. I know all about it. Listen, every Saturday night, I like it. All about ghosts and corpses and things. Yes, sir, that's fine, but we've got work to do now. Well, I'll get right out of here just as soon as Mr. Henley makes up his mind. Now, this a 1436 said, I will show. Listen, Mr. I don't want to buy a coffin. I've got no use for one. Do you get me solid silver handle? George, this guy's screwing. Oh, no, sir. Now, wait. I got some pictures here in colors if you like something a little fancier. Just a minute. How'd I find it? Fritz, go get Horace and have him get this old gent out of here. I think the old guy's crazy. Yeah, okay, Mr. Did somebody send you up here to see Ed Henley? Send me? No, sir. I told you, I thought it up my own self. Now, this here age 67, 82, with the bronze plate on top. How do you like that? Pretty nifty in it. Yes, sir. Listen, I've told you, I don't want a coffin. You can have it with solid silver plate if you like that better. If I were you, Ed, I'd get the one with the silver plate. Oh, yes, I'd rather like that one with a silver plate. That's the one, all right. 867 82 A with solid silver plate. Yes, sir. Well, that's all I wanted to know. Yes, sir, that's what I come up here for. Thank you kindly, Mr. Henley. I think you'll find it very satisfactory. Sure I will. And thank you, sir. I'll be going now. Thank you ever so much. Sorry to interrupt you. Well, goodbye. Goodbye, gentlemen. Thank you very much, Mr. Henry. Well, I wonder what goes with that guy whose idea was. Horace. It's all right, Tefritz. He's gone now. We don't need you. Horace. Where'd he go? Well, he just went out that door a minute ago. Didn't you see him? No. He must have went the other way. He went out that door? Right. Oh, that's funny. We didn't see him. Listen, Horace, was that your idea? Mine? Josh? No. Hey, I know. It was one of the announcers. Why is cracking guys? I don't think it was so funny myself, not at this time of night with nobody else in the whole place. How'd you get rid of him, Ed? The old guy was showing his coffin after coffin, and I suggested to Ed that he buy number H 67 83 a with solid silver plate. So he said, okay, it's grand. Leave it to me to handle the screwy guys. I've had experience enough producing shows around here. Thank you, dear. You birds want me? No, no, Horace, thanks. Oh, if you see old Joe Coffinseller again, though, tell him we're not in the market. Now, come on, let's get to work. Yeah, it's about time. Where do we start? There on page six, line five. The answer is the same and so on. You know, the answer is the same as it has always been. You refuse, then? I refuse. Yes. That's the next time. True. Very well, then. You force me to become a murderer. No, you force me to become a murderer. You force me to become a murderer. Go on. I don't know. You know the penalty for murder in this country? Put down that knife. You have had your last chance. Listen, we got to plant that knife somehow. Oh, holy smokes. George, I can't say I am now about to stab you with this here repulsive knife, can I? Well, that's a trouble with writers. No imagination, you see. Now, I could say, drop the knife. No, no, let me think. Shut up. Sorry. Oh, I got. Oh, look. Why do sound effects guys have to go on vacations? Is there a knife out there someplace? I don't know. I'll look over here to see. Here's one. What kind is it? Pocket knife. I think I'll just drop it in my pocket, too. I've been wanting a knife like this. Well, let's see it. I got Ben dibs on it. Well, now, look, you hold it up close to the microphone and open it, make it click, and I'll go to the control room and listen. Very well, Austin. This will probably sound like a door opening. So what? It's more than the door opening gag. We got sounds like. All right, let's hear it. Now open it up. No, not so loud. Try it again. Okay, now, Fritz, you put that effect in just as you start the struggle. Give me. No, no. Help that business. Yes. No, you would not listen to me. Stab him. Yeah. Okay. You better fall down on the floor, Ed. It'll sound better. Why is it I always have to do the falls? Go on, go on. Nuts. Okay, now, how are we going to ring that gong? Oh, I don't see why we can't get some help on this show. Why don't you get Horace? That's an idea. I'll go get him. Oh, gosh. I was here at nine this morning for an audition and I haven't even had time to get me dinner. Actors. The idol rich says, you. Say, who do you suppose sent that dilly old bird up here? I don't know. A lot of funny jokers around the shop. There's a good gag for this show, I guess. Except I don't suppose it'll be so funny for the old gent when he finds out it was a gag. Yeah, I don't imagine a very good racket running around peddling coffins. I never even knew they peddled coffins that way. Neither did reading the genius. You'll have plenty of time to catch up on your reading after the show's over. I want you to sock that gong. All you gotta do is take the little club and clout the gong when George points at you, Horace. If George points at you, Horace, listen, who's producing this show? I sometimes wonder, where's the stick to hit it with? You are practically standing on. Oh, all right, now, look, I'll go in the control room, and you guys go on into the fight. Now, you watch me, Horace, and when I point, you sock that gom, okay? Oh, George, listen, do we have to go through the whole thing again? My. No, no, just the struggle part. Now, where do I get in hit of the good Horace? Okay, struggle. We'll pay attention. Dummy, will you hit that gong? Oh, excuse me. I was watching Ed and Fritz. Well, look, you watch me from now on. I'll give you the cues and you do them. You got it? Okay, go ahead. Struggle. You got it. Okay. Well, I gotta go, George. The phone's ringing in the lobby. Well, hurry up. We're practically on the air. How are we doing? Oh, I wish I had a cigarette. No smoking in the studios. Speak when spoken to. I was talking to Fred. Oh, well, there's still no smoking in the studios. Oh, brother. Want to go get something to eat after the show, Ed? Not me. I'm going to be dead. I'm dragging, too. I'm going sailing with Jake tomorrow, all right? Yeah, well, you can't help it. Okay, George, I'm back. Well, look, come on, will you come on? Hey, you know who that was? Sure. Somebody wanting to know what time Fred Waring's on. No, no, it wasn't. Come on, Will, you can the guessing games. Let's go. It was the old coffin guy. He wanted to know if Mr. Henley wanted a silver or a bronze plate on his coffin. What'd you tell him? Silver. I said nothing cheap about Mr. Henley. Listen, you want to kid the old guy like that? He's just a poor harmless old bird. Besides, the first thing you know, somebody will be knocking at my door, delivering a coffin and collecting money for it. Trying to collect, you mean. Now, listen, you lugs, if you want to play comedy, you put the bite on Don McNeil, will you? You're wasting your time over on this side. Now, let's go to work. Now, if that old guy calls up again, you tell him to go jump in the lake. Now, come on, look at page ten. We won't have time to take a dress. Top of the page. I want running footsteps, all three of you, across the studio floor, up the stair steps. You stomp and run back down. You got it? On my cue. Okay, hurry up now. Now, take the knock on the door and the footsteps coming in. It's bottom of page eleven. You do the knock, Ed. Horace, you open the door, and Fritz, you do the footsteps. You got it. On my cue. Okay, keep it that way. She's coming right up. Now, Fritz, you do the wind machine. Right. Ed, you do the chime. Okay. Horace, you sock that gong. Right, George, on your toes. Now. At my cue, Fritz. Quiet, everyone. 5 seconds. Lights out, everybody. This is the witching hour. It is the hour when dogs howl and evil is let loose on the sleeping world. Want to hear about it? Then turn out your lights. Good evening, my dear friend. Good evening, doctor. Why don't you come in? Thank you. Here, let me take your coat and hat. Certainly. There you are, doctor. Once you come in and sit down. Thank you. Well, it's all taken care of. Really? Quite. You have the proof? Well, of course. You realize, my dear friend, I cannot be expected to carry out our little arrangement unless I have proof. Yes, I was reasonably sure of that. And so there is a hat crumpled in the left hand pocket of my overcoat. A hat. His hat. I think you'll find that it has a bullet hole through the crown, and there are several blood stains. Oh, fine. You don't mind if I look for myself? Of course not. That's why I brought it. You say? Yes, apparently a very neat job. I specialize in neat jobs, doctor. Do you mind telling me how it was done? Not at all. I waited for him in the driveway of his house. Cold, too. Tonight he left his car at the gate and walked up to the house. We had planned on that. Do you remember? Yes. And when he came close enough, I shot him. Oh, so noisy. There was a silencer on the revolver. Thoughtful of you. I'm always thoughtful, doctor. Excellent. I even stepped close enough to him to ensure powder burn better and better. And the revolver is there without the silencer to make it look like suicide. So I congratulate you, my dear friend. Thank you. I am conscientious. Are you conscientious enough to remember what I asked you to bring? Yes, quite. May I have it? I think not what you say. I came here tonight, Millie, to thank you, doctor, for your cooperation. I find myself a richer man. I hope you are joking, my friend. Not at all. You don't want to give up the packet of jewels? I couldn't have put it more neatly myself, doctor. I see you have not forgotten that I paid you a sum of money to perform this service for me. $500. That is correct. That is why I came here. I'm afraid I don't understand. To return the $500. You see, doctor, I have decided to keep the jewels instead. I see. Would you care for drink? Brandy, perhaps, if you liked water? No, thank you. No. Your health. If you don't mind, doctor, let us exchange glasses. You are remarkably suspicious man. I have to be. If you please. Oh, quite. I thought so, doctor. Well, your good health. And now I'll be going, if you don't mind. Oh, must you go, Eileen? Yes. Here are your $500. My offer is still good. Your offer? $500 for eliminating this man and bringing me the jewels from his pocket. I'm sorry not to be able to accept your offer, doctor. I've made other arrangements. You see. May I point out that you left your revolver at our friend's side? May I point out that it is extremely possible that I have another possible. Probable. Shall we have another drink? May I pour? If you like. That's enough, thank you. Now, shall we discuss this further? I'm afraid there is very little to discuss, doctor, if you do not mind. No, there is nothing to discuss. I am grateful to you, my dear doctor, for putting me in the way of earning the very comfortable sum that these jewels will bring. I'm equally grateful to you for your hospitality, but I really must go. Oh, I beg of you. Let me point out that a gentleman of your reputation. Might have some difficulty in disposing of the jewels. There are ways. Would it not be a great deal safer for you to take the $500. With no further risk than to keep the jewels and run the risk of hanging? I'll take the risk. Besides, if anything unpleasant does happen to me in the course of disposing of the jewels. I can always remind my captors of the part that you played in this little affair. You see, I'm afraid you would have a very difficult time proving that, perhaps, but I'll run the risk. Good night. Don't hurry, I beg of you. I should dislike to have any unpleasant happening. You forget that I have a revolver, doctor. That is a lie. I wouldn't take a chance if I were you, doctor. I'm not taking a chance. I know you have no revolver. Really? Really. Interesting. How? A very simple process of deduction. There is not in your overcoat. I could tell by the weight of it, but there is. Thank you. I was rather certain that it was there. You. And so I took the liberty of locking your overcoat in the closet when I got up to inspect our friend's hats. Checkmate, my dear friend. Stalemate. I think I still have the jewels. And I warn you for the last time to give them to me. I'm sorry. It would be a great deal better for you if you would, you know. What will you do if I won't? Something very unpleasant, my dear friend. For example. It is quite possible I will kill you. Amaze me. I assure you, I am quite serious. Possible? It is not impossible at all. May I ask just how you propose to end my life? Shall I say I shall cut your throats? Neatly, and as the books have it, with dispatch. You've been reading books? Then come, we are wasting time. What's the answer? The answer is the same as it has always been. You refuse? Then? I refuse. Yes. Very well. You forced me to become a murderer. You know the penalty for murder in this country, doctor. Put down that knife. You have had your last chance. No. Don't kill me. I won't. I won't. No, would not. Ed. You. Ed. You stabbed me, Fritz. Oh, my God. All us. Autoslap. No. I slept. I didn't mean. I cut him. I didn't mean to cut him. I cut him. Blood. You really killed him, Fritz. No. I just got here in time, didn't I? Yes. Model 867 82 with silver plate for Mr. Henley. Mr. Henry's all ready for it. You have just heard the coffin in studio B, the second in the summer revival series of lights out. In tonight's cast, you heard Bob Murphy as Ed, Sherman, marks as Fritz, Don Gallagher as George, Jack Bivens as Horace, and Charles Eggleston as the coffin salesman. All right, you can turn them on now. [00:30:20] Speaker A: That was the coffin in studio B from lights out here on the mysterious old radio Listening society podcast. Once again, I'm Eric. [00:30:30] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:30:30] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:30:32] Speaker A: It's a great intro to get that background on that and find out that that was sort of a recreation of a classic Willis Cooper script. It was interesting to find out that that was done so long before because it seems to start poking at yourself and making meta references to yourself. You would have to be on the air for a long time. So Cooper did this out of the gate, started meta reference, making fun of. [00:31:00] Speaker C: Radio conventions as they're being created. [00:31:04] Speaker A: Right. When did this one air? Did we say it? [00:31:07] Speaker C: Well, this production was from 46 46, but the script would have first been produced and is lost somewhere between 34 and 36. [00:31:16] Speaker B: Right. [00:31:17] Speaker A: So it makes it even more fascinating how they're not only meta poking fun at themselves, but radio in general is so out of the gate. I would have just assumed this was a later episode of Lights out where Obler went, hey, it's time to do some obler stuff and peek behind the curtain and do some weird things. [00:31:39] Speaker C: Yeah, Cooper had already established that, so that's interesting as something to do on lights out. [00:31:44] Speaker A: Yeah. So why did you visit this one, sir? [00:31:48] Speaker C: This is one I have heard many times over my entire career as an old time radio listener. First heard it in middle school from a library record, and it's always been one of my favorites. But as this podcast continued long past when I thought it would die, I quickly realized I need to set some of my old favorites aside or we will crank through them. So this has just been on my list for literally years to bring to the podcast, and I will give the game away and say I thoroughly enjoy it. It's a little difficult for me because I've heard it so many times. I don't know that I can actually recollect my initial responses upon hearing it, but I do recall being so delighted on so many levels when the director broke in, mostly because it made me realize the trophy over the top scene I had just heard was intentionally trophy and over the top and not what I was in for for most of the episode. And then I have this other joy of realizing, oh no, wait, he's going to make me listen to most of this trophy ridiculous radio show, but because of what he's put in front of it, it's now strangely tense and surreal. But I'm not sure why because I just know something bad has to happen. [00:33:17] Speaker D: It's a mixture of this meta behind the scenes thing, but the element of horror is kind of a shaggy dog joke with the coffin salesman hat. [00:33:26] Speaker B: I got to go. [00:33:27] Speaker D: Okay, bet it's musical and it introduces his themes, and then it breaks them apart and then resynthesizes them, and it's so full and you get every little piece in a way you wouldn't have gotten if you just heard it from the beginning. [00:33:41] Speaker A: I was taken by how their rehearsal process for a radio show goes, because we don't spend nearly that much time on our craft. Boy, they were particular. And try that again. Do that different. [00:33:55] Speaker C: But I thought there was a lot that's relatable about it in that the mundane banter between actors during their downtime, the strange alliances between cast members that shift and change rehearsal process. [00:34:10] Speaker A: Right. [00:34:11] Speaker C: What reminded me the most of our old time radio preparations is the trying to figure out the sound effects. [00:34:20] Speaker A: Yes. [00:34:20] Speaker C: And so it's like, is this pocket knife opening going to actually sound like a pocket knife opening? Or will it weirdly sound like something else? Like a door. [00:34:30] Speaker A: Right. [00:34:30] Speaker C: I know that was a joke, but sometimes the thing doing the thing it's supposed to do does not sound like. [00:34:35] Speaker A: Exactly. Right. I also found it interesting that the actors, the Foley guy wasn't there. So the actors were doing their own Foley. [00:34:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:43] Speaker D: Figuring it out for rehearsal and just. [00:34:45] Speaker A: Reminded me of us because we do our own Foley. And so there was that moment of, all right, so who's going to hit the gong? Who's going to do the knife? Who's going to do the running? And we do that in our Q to queue, trying to figure out our shows. So that was the part that was relatable. [00:35:01] Speaker D: I couldn't tell if there was a little bit of poking fun at either a director who can't really properly give a note of, like, just sound menacing. Not that, not that, not that. But just sound better. Or if they're making fun of an actor who. Could you just act? Could you just put some character in the words that are on the page? [00:35:22] Speaker A: I believe it's the latter. I found myself relating to the actors. I've been in that situation, especially in voiceovers, where I'm just getting direction and I've learned in my old age, you go, yeah, I totally understand what you're saying, and do the same thing I just did and watch them go, ooh, nice. And I'm like, you're idiots. You're just saying stuff to say stuff. It sounded to me like it was a director qualifying their existence or being frustrated over something that they couldn't quite explain because to me, that actor kept doing the same thing over and over again. [00:36:00] Speaker C: I thought that was part of the satire. I thought it was. Clearly, this is a guy just writing straight from his experiences. Willis Cooper here. I felt that he was making fun of both right. And also making fun of himself. I love the director at first trying to sugarcoat it and finally getting to the point, like, act like a murderer. [00:36:19] Speaker B: Right? [00:36:20] Speaker C: And, like, I don't know, maybe an accent or just a whiff of continental and just all that little, tiny trying to make it this small, nuanced thing. Nothing personal. And then I also enjoyed, as I said earlier, the shifting alliances in that you have that opening scene where Ed, I think, is the actor who's not getting picked on. And it's Fritz who's getting all the notes. And Ed's just making wise cracks. And then when the coffin salesman comes in, Fritz and the director create an alliance and keep making cracks and jokes. And he's the source of it. And it just has this nice shifting dynamic. And it's subtle, but it makes it fun to listen to. You realize this is a professional relationship here. This isn't a story about some backstory between the actors and one of them is going to kill them because he's dating their girl or he's ruined all your radio shows. It seemed very mundane and natural, which made the intrusion of the surreal in the form of the coffin salesman all the more disorienting. [00:37:23] Speaker A: A weird. Not weird, an interesting take on the angel of death appearing, knowing someone's about to go. And having them appear as a coffin salesman is unique. [00:37:37] Speaker C: Yeah. And you're like, okay, this is the story, right? And then they shuffle them off. And then the last third is just this radio drama. [00:37:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:45] Speaker C: And to me, it has the dramatic effect of the too long pause in comedy where at first I'm like, oh, they're backing up. Cool, we'll hear more of this radio show. And then I'm like, there's a lot of radio. And then it keeps going. And then you go like, okay, I'm starting to get a little nervous here. It's been going too long. What's happening? And so the tension comes back around after losing patience. Just like in a long pause, the laughs come back after losing patience because it finally pays off again. [00:38:18] Speaker A: Right. [00:38:19] Speaker C: So on the one hand, I found the coffin salesman to be this surreal intrusion into this world. But I think the tension for me is that as a performer, there's also some anxiety and nightmare response to just Fritz's predicament at the top. Because all my anxiety dreams as an actor take the form of, like, the show goes wrong type of thing. [00:38:45] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:38:45] Speaker C: It's always like, hey, I got on stage and forgot to write a show. [00:38:49] Speaker A: Right. [00:38:49] Speaker C: Something just ridiculous. It's the performance equivalent of realizing you're giving a speech and you forgot to put on clothes. [00:38:58] Speaker A: Right. Mine are all going on stage and realizing I'm in Shakespeare production, all of them, and just going, you can't even improvise through this. [00:39:10] Speaker C: I may have shared this before. [00:39:11] Speaker D: My favorite acting anxiety dream was in some kind of sketch comedy show where I had to like, okay, I'm in the next bit, and I'm dressed as a canadian mountie, and I go through the wrong door, and I'm suddenly locked out in the alley. [00:39:24] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:39:25] Speaker D: And so I go around to the front of the theater, to the box office, and they say, like, if you don't have a ticket, sir, I'm dressed as a Canadian Mountie. [00:39:33] Speaker A: I'm in the show that would happen at the old, brave new workshop space. [00:39:40] Speaker C: That might be related. The guy just points to a sign that says, no, Canadian. [00:39:46] Speaker A: And then, as long as we're off topic, real quick, I actually lived the actor nightmare where I got cast in a thing, and I thought I was doing it in a russian accent. And I got to the set, and it turns out, no, it's in Russian. I had three days to memorize four pages of script in Russian, and I panicked. And then I looked at him and said, are there people that can do this? And I thought I was going to get fired. And the director looked at me, paused, and said, you know what? Probably not. Let's just make this a russian accent. Thank you. [00:40:20] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:40:21] Speaker A: But, oh, my God. I was just panicking. [00:40:24] Speaker C: I felt like maybe that the low budget aspects of this was Cooper laughing at his late night horror show that probably doesn't have a lot of money thrown at it. The whole idea of, I don't have a sound, man, I got to bring the desk guy in to hit the gong, right? Because it felt like he'd done it before. It felt so real because they did the run through, and the guy missed his cue, and he's like, oh, I'm sorry. I was watching Fritz and Ed. That felt so real. And obviously, I heard this for the first time when I was very young. So now this kind of self referential meta stuff is really mainstream. But it blew my mind as a young man to be like, oh, it's the lights out show, and they're recording it. [00:41:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:10] Speaker C: And I have to think that in 1930, whatever listeners had the same response. [00:41:16] Speaker A: Sure. Even in 1946, in the repeat, I think they probably had that same response of interesting meta take. [00:41:24] Speaker C: And we have the dig at Orson because at 1.1 of the actors whatever you say, orson. To the director. [00:41:29] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. [00:41:31] Speaker D: I think a credit to Cooper that he can indulge in all the fun. It's not just like, oh, I'm going to break some ground here. I'm going to treat myself to as much fun and poking fun at myself at the show and all that, and couch it in a show that still. [00:41:52] Speaker A: Has a punch, that has a piece of horror or suspense or murder. [00:41:58] Speaker D: You can validate this excuse. [00:42:00] Speaker C: Well, I guess that leads to my kind of million dollar question on this. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Because, boy, I hope it pays that. [00:42:07] Speaker C: I can't remember my initial response to this. [00:42:10] Speaker A: Sure. [00:42:11] Speaker C: So do you feel the end was telegraphed? Did you think he was going to get stabbed with the knife? [00:42:15] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:16] Speaker C: Okay. [00:42:17] Speaker A: Yes, I knew that was coming, especially when they went through the knife thing and said, well, that's how he dies. I knew the coffin salesman was there because someone was going to die and they were going to get killed, and they were picking up the. I knew what the premise was and quickly caught on to that game. I would say that that entire thing of the recreation of the radio show, for me, was like, wow, they're going to do the whole show. They just keep going. When I finally started to hear words that I remembered from the beginning in the rehearsal, like, oh, good, we're getting close to what's going to happen, how they die, and then he stabs him. And I knew it would come in that fight scene, so nothing was surprising to me. I don't think my appeal is a general public's appeal. That is, it was fun to listen to actors rehearsing old time radio shows and the director and all, you know, it was more to give it that angle. [00:43:12] Speaker D: It's due all that effort to make it really realistic, really believable and credible makes the sort of what might otherwise be a mundane kind of ridiculous and disappointing. Like, oh, they got in a little fight and actually stabbed him. You are more invested in these characters because they are so real, because they are like, that's me. [00:43:36] Speaker A: The writing of this and the performance of this is that realism instead of line, line, line. They're overlapping each other. There's ums, there's. Okay, all right, so let's just do that again. It sounded like someone had dropped a microphone into a rehearsal space. So I thought from that standpoint. [00:43:53] Speaker D: So you believe a real person just got stabbed? [00:43:55] Speaker B: Yes. [00:43:55] Speaker A: And you believe that that guy came, and I like how they make fun of Jesus. Send that guy. What did he do? Oh, he told him he'd buy one, the pattern of it, the form of this was extremely real, which helps. [00:44:07] Speaker D: Sensational tone of acting was not the. [00:44:10] Speaker A: Industry standard at that point on stage or radio or anywhere. [00:44:15] Speaker C: What I find impressive about it, I agree with everything you guys just said, but also to go back to what I was saying earlier about the commitment to going through a big chunk of the radio show, because even though it's telegraphed and I've listened to a lot, so even when I listen to it again, after not listening to it for a long time and know it's going to happen, I get uncomfortable during that time. And it might be back to what you guys are saying of, like, they seem like real people. And it's that idea. Like, it's taking so long to get to the point of an inevitable action that you feel like there's got to be something to change. The end. It's long enough for you guys to realize what's about to happen, but of course it's not. Maybe that's where the tension comes from. [00:44:57] Speaker A: Can I say that's my disappointment in it. [00:44:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:00] Speaker A: I was waiting to be not given that ending. It was. So this is what's going to happen. That I went, oh, that's exactly what happened. Okay. Then I had to go back and go, okay, on its merits, stop judging it from what you thought it was going to be and what was it? But I was waiting. [00:45:19] Speaker C: Someone has to die. It's Chekhov's coffin. You drink a coffin salesman in there like that. Coffin has to be put to use. [00:45:26] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:45:27] Speaker C: But you just wanted to be surprised. [00:45:30] Speaker A: I didn't rewrite it. So I don't have an answer to that. But I don't know. Batman shows up. I don't know. [00:45:36] Speaker B: That would be awesome. [00:45:37] Speaker A: That would be awesome. [00:45:38] Speaker C: It would be like early 30s Batman. So he'd shoot everybody. [00:45:43] Speaker D: I mean, depending on when. [00:45:45] Speaker B: And 30. [00:45:45] Speaker D: Like, this is almost certainly well before Batman. [00:45:47] Speaker C: Oh, you're right. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Right, Batman. 39. [00:45:50] Speaker C: 39. [00:45:51] Speaker B: Wow. [00:45:51] Speaker C: For some reason, I thought he was 38. Yeah, because he was inspired by the shadows. So I'm thinking in the shadows era. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Shadow started pulp's 29, something like that somewhere around there. [00:46:01] Speaker C: Or 30. Very early nerds. Well, should we vote on this? [00:46:08] Speaker A: Yeah, we can vote. Tim, you haven't started for a while. [00:46:11] Speaker D: I will call this a classic. I think there's so many. I mean, it's weird to say it's so groundbreaking, but it's just as the ground was being made, let alone broken, it's remarkable piece of writing for the investment he makes. The beginning, whether it pays off in the end. Might be up for debate. I think it does. But I think there's arguments to the contrary. All that being said, remarkable, remarkable piece of work, especially for the 30s. It's a classic. [00:46:41] Speaker A: I agree with a lot of things you just said, but you open the door for where I'm going with this. I don't think the payoff is worth the wait. It's fine. It's good. It's really well done. I will say this, last week we had a very eric episode. This week we have a very Joshua episode. As I was listening to it, I realized the joy you especially would take in this and you Tim, to some extent. But I was like, oh, I get why this has been brought by him and how much he loves it. I just guess when it was over, I went, yep. So for me, not a classic, not even the best lights out I've ever heard, but I certainly enjoyed it a lot and stand the test of time and historically significant for a lot of reasons. [00:47:35] Speaker C: I just really like it, and I totally get why someone wouldn't. And it might be part of why I like it so much is because I feel like I shouldn't like it as much. And somehow he makes it work. The fact that it's all telegraphed somehow adds to the tension to me, and I'm not exactly sure how he did. I made some theories early in the podcast, but I don't know why or how it works. But I just think it's a surreal, funny, strangely tense kind of self reflective examination of the medium. Yet it's still packaged as just a light little horror story. But I think it's that self reflective nature that makes it so appealing. It's like Mc Escher listening to himself on the radio. Listening to himself on the radio. Listening to himself on the radio. [00:48:29] Speaker A: Or you could make the argument, that's lazy. [00:48:34] Speaker C: There you go. [00:48:35] Speaker B: Actually recorded rehearsal? [00:48:36] Speaker C: Oh no, you could have. But the authenticating detail, I don't think even if it took him five minutes to write, it's because he put so much work into the art of radio that he could write it in five minutes. So he earned it, even if it is the laziest. So classic for me. [00:48:55] Speaker A: Tim, tell him stuff. [00:48:56] Speaker D: Hey, please go visit ghoulishdelife.com if you have a chance. You can leave comments on these episodes. Let us know what you think. You can vote in polls if you'd like to, just give a quick, brief response as to what your opinion is. You can also send us messages. You can visit our store and buy some swag and you'll find a link to our Patreon page. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:49:17] Speaker C: Go to patreon.com. The Morals and support this podcast help us do more podcasts and more live radio shows. Yeah, we really appreciate all those who do support us because it really makes this podcast possible. Thank you. Thank you so much. We, in exchange for you making this. [00:49:42] Speaker A: Possible, we buy groceries. [00:49:44] Speaker C: We buy groceries. And on Patreon, we try to make things fun for you. We've got bonus podcasts. We've got happy hours. We hang out. You can get on discord and chat with fellow old time radio mysterious old radio listening society fans. You can do all the things. Just give us a little bit of money, please. [00:50:03] Speaker A: If you'd like to see us performing live, the mysterious old radio listening society theater company does live audio drama on stage monthly. You can find out where we're performing, what we're performing, and how to get tickets by going to ghoulishdelights.com. We do recreations of classic old time radio live on stage, along with a lot of our own original work. We perform somewhere, sometimes more than once a month. If you can't make it, you're not in that area or whatever. You're busy that day. If you're a Patreon, we film. That's part of your Patreon package to see that. Or sometimes it's just the audio recording, depending on. [00:50:42] Speaker C: Don't say just, this is an old time radio, right? [00:50:47] Speaker A: Even better. [00:50:48] Speaker C: It's an audio recording. [00:50:49] Speaker A: It's an audio recording. Sorry, don't have to see our faces. [00:50:53] Speaker C: Even better. We have faces for radio. [00:50:56] Speaker A: He's going to yell at me when we're off the air. [00:50:59] Speaker C: It's not funny when we're off yelling at you. Now, do better. [00:51:05] Speaker A: What's coming up next? [00:51:06] Speaker C: Next, we are going to do a companion radio show to this one, Eric. Interestingly enough, earlier in this podcast said, well, look, I didn't try to rewrite this or anything. Well, it turns out that Willis Cooper later rewrote this episode to a degree, and we'll be listening to that. A night to forget from. Quiet, please. Until then, look, Fitz, how do you. [00:51:32] Speaker B: Feel in this thing? I don't know. It's not right. I don't know what to do, though. [00:51:36] Speaker D: Could you just act? Could you just put some, some character in the words that are on the page?