Episode 400B: The House in Cypress Canyon Revisited

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the golden age of radio. In honor of our 10th anniversary, we present this alternate version of episode 400, recorded live at the Bryant Lake Bowl Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in which we revisit the house in Cypress Canyon from Suspense. If you want to hear more thrilling morals bonus episodes like this one, please visit patreon.com themorals and become an official member of the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society. Membership privileges currently include hundreds of bonus podcast episodes, access to our Patreon Discord server monthly zoom, happy hours with your mysterious old hosts, Joshua's Mysterious Old Book Club. And coming soon, morals, role playing with Tim. So what are you waiting for? Become a member of the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society. Today, The Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society [00:01:26] Speaker B: live from the Bryant Lake Bowl. [00:01:32] Speaker A: And now, Roma Wines bring you the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society in a remarkable live podcast well calculated to keep you in. Suspense. [00:02:06] Speaker C: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:02:15] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:02:16] Speaker A: I'm Joshua. [00:02:17] Speaker D: And I'm Shannon. We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they Stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:02:26] Speaker A: Tonight, in honor of our 400th episode, we revisit a radio play we first listened to and discussed nine years ago on our debut episode, the House in Cypress Canyon from Suspense. [00:02:46] Speaker E: In case you're curious how we sounded nine years ago, here's a sample. [00:02:52] Speaker C: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Time Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:03:00] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:03:01] Speaker A: I'm Joshua. [00:03:02] Speaker C: We love scary old time radio stories. There's nothing quite like a disembodied voice telling a genuinely disturbing tale. But maybe that's just us. Maybe these stories don't actually hold up after all this time. So we're revisiting these old shows to put terror on trial. Do they still work in the 21st century or are we being deceived? Nostalgia. Are these stories blood chilling or butt numbing? [00:03:26] Speaker D: Butt numbing? [00:03:28] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:03:29] Speaker C: Listen, I just read whatever Tim and Joshua put in front of me. See, this is right here. Hey, I just read whatever Tim and Joshua put in front of me. [00:03:39] Speaker A: We'll talk more about our first episode and the nine wonderful, weird and occasionally annoying years that followed a little later in the podcast. For now, here's some background information about [00:03:51] Speaker E: tonight's play, suspense, aired on CBS Radio from 1942 to 1962, producing 947 episodes in total, most of which still exist today. Hailed as radio's outstanding theater thrills. Suspense specialized in edge of your seat thrillers, some written especially for radio, others adapted from contemporary and classic literature. [00:04:11] Speaker D: Regardless of their origin, the vast majority of stories produced for suspense were edge of your seat crime thrillers. On rare occasions, though, the series featured tales of supernatural suspense. Many of these forays into the otherworldly horror are now considered radio classics, including the Hitchhiker, Ghost Hunt and the story you're about to hear. [00:04:33] Speaker C: The House in Cypress Canyon was an original radio play written by frequent suspense contributor Robert L. Richards. Although the House in Cypress Canyon is often cited as one of the scariest episodes suspense ever produced, the opening scene suggests a much lighter tone featuring a fourth wall breaking wink at the audience that was unusual for a series like Suspense. [00:04:56] Speaker A: As the play begins, a real estate agent is talking to his pal, a detective named Sam. Suspense producer William Speer cast leading man Howard Duff in the role of best known to listeners at the time for playing another detective named Sam in a radio series based on Dashiell Hammett's famous private eye, the Adventures of Sam Spade. So what you're about to hear is not just a horror story. It's an 80 year old postmodern in joke. [00:05:27] Speaker E: Oh, and did we mention it's a Christmas story too? [00:05:32] Speaker D: And now here is the house in Cypress Canyon from Suspense, starring Robert Taylor and Kathy Lewis. First aired December 5, 1946 forget the [00:05:44] Speaker C: petty distractions around you. Forget what you think you know. Forget everything but what you hear. Right now it's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:06:10] Speaker B: And now, Roma Wines R O M a Roma Wines present Suspense. [00:06:21] Speaker F: Tonight, Roma Wines bring you Robert Taylor [00:06:24] Speaker G: in the House in Cypress Canyon, a [00:06:27] Speaker F: suspense play produced, edited and directed for Roma Wines by William Spears. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Suspense radio's outstanding theater of thrills is presented for your enjoyment by Roma Wines. That's R O M a Roma Wines, those better tasting California wines enjoyed by more Americans than any other wine. For friendly entertaining, for delightful dining, yes, right now a glassful would be very pleasant as Roma Wines bring you Robert Taylor, star of Metro Goldwyn Mayer's undercurrent in a remarkable tale of suspense. [00:07:14] Speaker F: Merry Christmas, Jerry. How's the real estate business? [00:07:18] Speaker G: Kind of early with your greeting, aren't you? Sam. [00:07:19] Speaker F: Well, I gotta get them in sometime. I may not see you again until next Christmas. [00:07:23] Speaker G: If this real estate racket gets any crazy, I'll be dead by next Christmas. I'm glad you could get up here, though, Sam. [00:07:30] Speaker F: What's on your mind, Jerry? [00:07:32] Speaker G: You'll probably shoot me when you hear it, Sam, because I'm probably nuts. But doggone it, you're a detective and you're my pal, and I just had to tell somebody. [00:07:40] Speaker F: You sound like it's serious. [00:07:42] Speaker G: That's just it. I don't know what it is, Sam, but. Now, listen. You know, we're agents for a group of houses up in Cypress Canyon. Those places that were started before the war never got finished. [00:07:52] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker G: All I got in were the foundations. Just concrete and a couple of beams. Well, they've been finished now. In fact, I'm putting up the for rent on the last of them today. [00:08:00] Speaker F: What do you want, Police protection from the mob? [00:08:04] Speaker G: Listen, Sam, this house that I'm talking about, it's got a number now, 2256. But before, when the men went back to work on it about three months ago. Well, they just started when the foreman on the job brought me a shoebox that he'd found up on a beam. And this box had a. What do you call it, A manuscript in it. A story kind of all written out. [00:08:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:08:25] Speaker G: Well, he gave me the thing. I read it. I didn't think much about it. I put it in my desk. But the other day, and I happened to drive by there. I saw the number on the house and what the house looked like. I thought of this manuscript. Well, I don't like it, that's all. There's something funny about it. [00:08:41] Speaker F: What's funny about it? [00:08:42] Speaker G: Well, mind you, this thing was found in an unfinished house in Cypress Canyon. House was only just started building. [00:08:49] Speaker B: All right. [00:08:49] Speaker G: Well, listen, Sam, I want to read it to you if you got the time. And you'll see what I mean. [00:08:54] Speaker B: All right, shoot. [00:08:56] Speaker G: Well, here's how it begins. To whom it may concern, my reasons for setting down on paper what follows here will be abundantly clear. [00:09:04] Speaker F: What follows here will be abundantly clear to anyone into whose possession it may fall. First, let me say that I'm a very ordinary person. My name is James a. Woods. I'm 35 years old. By profession, a chemical engineer. My wife, Ellen, was a schoolteacher when I met and married her in Indiana seven years ago. There's nothing in the past life of either one of us to suggest remotely any cause or reason for the dreadful thing. That has invaded our lives. Our married life has been in no way different from that of millions of other average, reasonably happy and congenial families. Three months ago, I was ordered by my firm to take charge of a rather minor project in Los Angeles. Hollywood, to be exact. The order was a sudden one. There'd been no time to secure accommodations, and conditions being what they are, the inevitable result was that until day before yesterday, we'd been living in the cramped quarters of one of those characteristic California motels. Needless to say, most of our spare time had been devoted to a search for something more permanent and comfortable. But the fruits of these efforts had been financially and in every other way A geometrical progression of discouragement. Until last Saturday afternoon, only four days before Christmas. We were driving into town on our way to a movie when Ellen saw it. [00:10:21] Speaker H: Jim, look. [00:10:23] Speaker F: What? [00:10:23] Speaker H: That sign in front of that real estate office. [00:10:25] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. [00:10:26] Speaker H: Don't you see what it says? For rent, furnished two bedroom house, close in immediate occupancy. [00:10:31] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:10:32] Speaker H: Aren't you gonna stop? [00:10:32] Speaker F: Oh, Ellen, you know a sign like that, it mean right out in plain sight in front of a real estate office. [00:10:36] Speaker H: Oh, yeah, but Jim, you know they [00:10:37] Speaker F: want $600 a month. [00:10:39] Speaker H: We'll never know until we ask. [00:10:40] Speaker F: Well, if it's any good at all, There are probably 50 people fighting for it right back there. [00:10:43] Speaker H: Now, honey, there's no harm in trying now, is there? [00:10:46] Speaker F: You really want to go back? [00:10:47] Speaker H: Ah, it's probably foolish, but what can we lose? [00:10:50] Speaker F: Okay. [00:10:50] Speaker H: Aw, darling, come on, cheer up. How do you know? Maybe our luck's changed. Maybe fate's gonna give us a nice new house for a Christmas present. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Come in. [00:11:13] Speaker F: Oh, we're sorry to bother you, but we just happened to see that for rent sign outside. [00:11:18] Speaker G: Oh, yeah, I hung it outside just this minute. [00:11:21] Speaker H: Is, Is the house available? [00:11:23] Speaker G: Why, sure. Sure it is. [00:11:26] Speaker F: Let me introduce myself. My name is James a. Woods, and this is my wife, Ellen. How da do? [00:11:35] Speaker A: Wow. [00:11:36] Speaker G: Looks like it's fixing to rain. [00:11:39] Speaker F: Yes, so it does. Doesn't? Well, it was one of those things. The real estate agent had just been authorized to rent the place by mail that morning, and he'd hardly had time to look at it himself and put up his sign. When we drove up, it was just an ordinary little California house about halfway up Cypress Canyon, number 2256. Just an ordinary, undistinguished little house. The agent didn't know much about it. Construction on it had been stopped by the war, and it had just been completed and furnished Lately been vacant while somebody's estate was being settled and now it was owned by a bank in Sacramento. Of course, we didn't. We didn't got this key in the [00:12:25] Speaker G: mail along with the authorization to rent. Only one there is, of course. You can have duplicates made. Seems to stick a little. Oh, no. [00:12:33] Speaker C: There it is. [00:12:38] Speaker H: Doesn't sound as though that door had ever been opened. [00:12:40] Speaker G: A little oil on the hinges. [00:12:42] Speaker H: Oh, sure. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Now. [00:12:43] Speaker G: Now here's your living room. Furniture's a little dusty, of course, you gotta expect that. It's good furniture, though. You see? Benson Brothers. [00:12:50] Speaker H: Yes. [00:12:51] Speaker G: Now, over here's a little den panel. You see. Radio, fireplace. Really a very attractive little room, particularly for a man. [00:12:59] Speaker E: Uh huh. [00:13:00] Speaker F: Yep. [00:13:00] Speaker G: Now, the. The bedroom's off the living room here. Everything's all on one floor, you understand? It's quite nice, I think. [00:13:07] Speaker H: Yes. [00:13:09] Speaker G: You can see you get the morning sun here. There's a view of the canyon through these fun windows. You got cross ventilation. [00:13:15] Speaker F: That's about all there was to it. It wasn't the best place in the world. It was small and badly built. But what would you have done? We took it with as little inspection as that. It was the Saturday before Christmas and the very same evening we were struggling up the steps from the road with suitcases and boxes and armloads of clothes and all the endless bric a brac that people collect, never know they have until they move. Ellen began unpacking and I began moving things around and taking the worst of the pictures off the wall. Doing all the little things that everybody does when they move into a new place and try to give it something of their own. [00:13:50] Speaker H: Don't be such a sour puss. You know it's a roof over our heads for Christmas. That's more than we ever thought we'd get, isn't it? Now what in the world are we going to do with those two? [00:14:00] Speaker F: Why don't we just leave them where they are? [00:14:02] Speaker H: Jim, we can't. They're too awful. [00:14:04] Speaker F: Well, all right. Put them in the closet then. [00:14:06] Speaker H: I can't. Both the closets are jam full. [00:14:08] Speaker F: No, I mean the other one in the little alcove off the den. At least there's a door there. I suppose it's a closet. [00:14:12] Speaker H: I don't know. That isn't a commentary on the housing problem, huh? A woman moving into a house without even knowing where all the closets are. Take the pictures down, will you, honey? [00:14:21] Speaker F: Bring them in here. [00:14:22] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:22] Speaker F: Okay. [00:14:24] Speaker H: Guess you'll have to help me with this door. I can't get it open. [00:14:27] Speaker F: Let me see of course you can't, silly. It's locked. Where are those keys we found on the desk? [00:14:33] Speaker H: Here they are. [00:14:38] Speaker F: Not this one. Sure, this one won't work. Feels like an awful solid door for a closet. [00:14:45] Speaker H: That's one solid door in the house. [00:14:48] Speaker F: This one won't do it either. Well, we'll just have to get a lock Smith up here on Monday. I'll put the pictures behind the desk, okay? [00:14:54] Speaker H: Yeah. Yeah. All right. Jim, if you could just help me move this armchair. [00:14:57] Speaker F: Oh, Ellen, will you let it go until tomorrow? You know what time it is. [00:15:01] Speaker H: But, honey, I'd like to get the place looking just a little bit. [00:15:03] Speaker F: It's almost midnight. In fact, it's exactly what was that? Tomcat, I guess. Out in the brush somewhere. [00:15:12] Speaker H: Sounded near [00:15:15] Speaker B: Hope. [00:15:15] Speaker H: That doesn't go on all night. [00:15:17] Speaker F: There's much we can do about it. Come on, Ellen. I'm dead tired. [00:15:20] Speaker H: All right. Jim, [00:15:23] Speaker F: where'd you put the toothpaste, honey? [00:15:25] Speaker H: It's right in the medicine cabinet. [00:15:27] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. [00:15:28] Speaker H: Jim, we ought to get some firewood tomorrow. You know, a fire in that living room would make all the difference in the world. [00:15:33] Speaker F: Camp Sunday. [00:15:35] Speaker H: Well, Monday, then. Jim, I think red curtains are what we need, don't you? Mm. [00:15:39] Speaker C: Mm. [00:15:40] Speaker H: You know, just at least for the living room anyway. The ones in there now have just got to come down. [00:15:45] Speaker F: Yeah, I suppose they do. What do you think of red? Well, I guess it's all [00:15:52] Speaker H: Jim. [00:15:54] Speaker F: That's some tom cat. [00:15:56] Speaker H: Jim, it sounded in the house. [00:16:01] Speaker F: How could it be in the house? Ellen, we've been over every inch of [00:16:03] Speaker H: the house except that closet. [00:16:07] Speaker F: How could a cat or anything else be in a closet that's been locked up for over a year? [00:16:11] Speaker H: I don't know. [00:16:13] Speaker F: Probably under the house. A wildcat or mountain lion or something. I hear they have them in California. [00:16:16] Speaker H: Jim, I don't like it. [00:16:18] Speaker F: Well, neither do I like it, but there's nothing we can do about it tonight. [00:16:20] Speaker H: Oh, maybe we ought to call somebody. The police or some neighbor. [00:16:24] Speaker F: Silly Ellen, you act like a kid. Come on, let's go to bed, huh? [00:16:29] Speaker H: All right. I suppose it is. Silly. Jimmy, did you lock the door? Yeah. [00:16:34] Speaker F: Yeah. Can I turn out the lights now? [00:16:36] Speaker H: Yeah. All right. [00:16:39] Speaker F: Good night, Ellen. Sleep tight. [00:16:40] Speaker H: Good night, Jim. [00:16:46] Speaker F: I don't know what time it was. Perhaps an hour. Perhaps only a half hour later, my mind was in that hazy borderland between sleep and a dream that's still part of consciousness. Then I was awake. Ellen, are you all right? [00:17:03] Speaker H: Yes. [00:17:04] Speaker F: Did you have a nightmare or something? [00:17:06] Speaker H: No. I heard it, too. [00:17:08] Speaker F: Well, that didn't sound like any cat. [00:17:10] Speaker H: Put on the light. [00:17:11] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:17:14] Speaker H: Seemed to be out there, Jim. In the house somewhere. [00:17:17] Speaker F: I'm going to look into this. [00:17:18] Speaker H: Jim, you be careful. [00:17:19] Speaker F: Come on. Where's my shotgun? [00:17:21] Speaker H: In the den, I think. Jim. [00:17:24] Speaker F: What? [00:17:26] Speaker H: There. There's something wet. [00:17:30] Speaker F: What wet? [00:17:32] Speaker H: Running from under the closet door. Sticky. [00:17:36] Speaker F: Ellen, don't. Don't touch it. [00:17:39] Speaker H: I had to, Jim. It's blood. [00:17:53] Speaker F: For suspense, Roma Wines are bringing you Robert Taylor in the house in Cypress Canyon. Roma Wines presentation tonight in radio's outstanding theater of thrills, Suspense. [00:18:12] Speaker B: Between the acts of suspense, this is Ken Niles. For Roma Wines. These days before Christmas are busy ones indeed. Yet smart hostesses everywhere find time for shopping and and distinguished home entertaining. Later, the secret magnificent Grand Estate wines presented by Roma, America's greatest vintner. Grand Estate wines add distinction to your hospitality. On a moment's notice make your holiday welcome. Effortless and in perfect taste. The brilliant clarity, full fragrance and mellow taste of Grand Estate wines. Please. Discriminating people everywhere. For Grand Estate Wines. Limited bottlings by Roma are born of choicest grapes. Then patiently guided to superb taste richness by Roma Vimtner. Skill, necessary time and America's finest winemaking resources. Delight your guests with grand estate California wines. For entertaining, medium Sherry, Ruby Port or Golden Muscatel. For dining, Burgundy or Sauterne. So insist on Grand Estate wines and enjoy the crowning achievement of vintner skill. [00:19:25] Speaker F: And now, Roma Wines bring back to our Hollywood sound stage Robert Taylor as James A. Woods with Kathy Lewis as his wife Ellen. In the house in Cypress Canyon, a tale well calculated. To keep you in suspense, It cannot be too difficult to understand from the foregoing why I've taken the pains to set down in writing the events related here. To find in one's newly rented house a closet which cannot be opened is in itself certainly no great cause for alarm. But to be awakened in the stillness of the night by unearthly cries which within that house to find oozing from under that closet door something that is unquestionably blood. That's another matter. Perhaps others might have been braver than we. Suffice it only to say that we got out of the house in something very close to a panic and only returned when we had the moral support of two stalwart Los Angeles policemen. You just moved in here, you're saying? That's right, officer. You can see we're still unpacking. And the place has been empty right along before that. Yeah, I don't know much about that part of it. You could check all that with a real estate agent, though. Well, where is this clock? [00:20:42] Speaker H: Oh, it's. It's right in here, officer. And. And the blood. The blood is. [00:20:47] Speaker F: Where. Where's the blood, Jim? Officer, I swear to you, there was blood on the floor less than an hour ago. I. I saw. Was running out from under that door. We heard that noise, and we got up, and then we saw it. The. The door was locked. Locked, huh? [00:21:02] Speaker H: Oh, no. [00:21:03] Speaker F: Well, it seems to be all right now. Hey, you folks aren't trying to be funny, are you? [00:21:10] Speaker H: Is. Isn't there anything in it? [00:21:12] Speaker F: No, ma', am, there is not. Look, officer, we're reputable people. You can call my firm. They'll tell you all about me. There's nothing wrong with this closet. Walls are solid. No trap doors. You think I'm lying? I didn't say that, mister. Oh, you probably did hear some sort of a noise, and you got a little panicky. [00:21:30] Speaker H: And what about the blood? It got on my hand. [00:21:34] Speaker F: It isn't there now, is it? [00:21:37] Speaker H: Yes. [00:21:38] Speaker F: Where? [00:21:40] Speaker H: I feel it. [00:21:42] Speaker F: Now, you folks just take it easy. You know, you're liable to hear all kinds of noises up in these canyons at night. You're from the east, you say? Yeah. I'm sorry, officer. Ah, that's all right. That's all right. If you have any real trouble, call on us anytime. All right. Well, good night. Good night. Good night. Hey, you ought to have this door fixed. That's enough to scare you. Yeah, we're. We're going to have it fixed. We didn't say much about it after that. There wasn't much that could be said. The next day I went down to a lot and bought a little Christmas tree and some trimmings. And we tried to pretend we were cheerful, but there was an uneasiness between us that had never been there before. Ellen seemed tired and listless. Several times during the day, I noticed her washing her hands with a brush, scrubbing the one that had touched the blood. That night, we each took a sleeping pill and went to bed. Sometime after midnight, when I was suddenly wide awake and staring into the darkness in some way, I knew at once and instinctively what had awakened me. Ellen was not in her bed nor in the room. The nameless thing I feared gripped at my heart until I could scarcely breathe. I opened the bedroom door and started through the house, putting on every light that I could find. There was not much to search, but I searched thoroughly. The living room, the kitchen, bathroom, den, even the garage. And all the time, the dread of looking where I knew at last I must look. For I think I knew from the very first time where I'd find her. It must have been a full minute that I stood before that closet door. Then I opened it. She stood there, rigid, her arms at her sides, the fingers extended like claws. Her hair was over her face. Her eyes stared out of it. Her lips were drawn back in a grin, like an animal at bay. For a moment, I was frozen with the horror of it. I stretched out my hand. Very deliberately, she turned her head and sunk her teeth until they met into the flesh of my forearm. I'd raised my hand to strike at her, but already she'd relaxed her hold and gone utterly limp. She would have fallen unless I'd caught her. I carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed. Strangely, at that moment, my only thought was how I might revive her. Until I saw that it was not a faint, but a sleep. That she'd fallen into sleep as deep and heavy as though she'd been drugged. And so I left her. But for me, that night, there was no sleep. [00:24:48] Speaker H: Jim. [00:24:49] Speaker F: Yes, Ellen? [00:24:52] Speaker H: What are you doing up so early? [00:24:54] Speaker F: Oh, I. I got a little restless. Make some coffee. [00:24:57] Speaker H: Oh. Oh, I had the most wonderful sleep, and I feel so rested. [00:25:05] Speaker F: Do you? Mm. [00:25:08] Speaker H: Jim. [00:25:09] Speaker F: What? [00:25:10] Speaker H: What's the matter with your arm? [00:25:12] Speaker F: Oh, I. I just heard it. [00:25:14] Speaker H: Well, honey, it's. It's terribly swollen. Let me see. [00:25:17] Speaker F: No, it's all right, Ellen. [00:25:18] Speaker H: Oh, it isn't all right. You've got to see Dr. Wesley right away. [00:25:21] Speaker F: Sure, I. I will. [00:25:22] Speaker H: No, now, you promise me, Jim, that you'll go the first thing this morning. How'd it happen? [00:25:27] Speaker F: Why, there was a dog. [00:25:29] Speaker H: A dog? [00:25:30] Speaker F: Yeah. I heard him trying to chew through the screen door. I went out to chase him away, and he bit me. [00:25:36] Speaker H: Well, you mean there's all that racket and I didn't even wake up? [00:25:43] Speaker F: No, Ellen, you didn't even wake up. It was clear to me that Ellen knew nothing of what had transpired the night before. I went to my office that morning and made a pretense of going over routine business, if only to restore my mind to some semblance of calm by the sight and sound of common, familiar things. Pain in my arm had become a persistent, dull throbbing. I made a late appointment with Dr. Wesley. He treated my arm with something of an arched eyebrow. And. And he said, well, I've never seen anything quite like it before. That is such a rapid onset of infection. It was dark when I left his office. I hadn't realized it was so late. Driving home, my car seemed. Seemed sluggish. Until I saw the needle on the dashboard and realized that I was pushing it to the utmost of its speed. I was racing home to prevent something before it was too late. For the darkness had conspired against me. For somehow I already knew with certainty that it was the darkness and the night that I had to fear. The curves of the canyon seemed endless. And then the cold fear leaped up inside me. My house too was dark. I went slowly up the stone steps in the road, looking, praying for some sign of light or light. There was none. The house was empty. Ellen was gone. I looked with the same self torturing thoroughness. And in that closet, first of all, knowing as I did so that it was hopeless. And so alone in that empty house I waited, powerless and helpless now, deadened in thought and will, empty as the house itself, save only for the overwhelming sense of a terrible foreboding. For sometime in the early hours of the morning. I snapped on the radio shortwave. Why? Surely a minor question now. I only know that I did. Then I heard it. Car 58, car 58. Go to Laurel Canyon, the 4000 block a report that a man has been injured or attacked. [00:27:57] Speaker B: Condition thought to be critical. [00:27:59] Speaker F: Ambulance will follow. That is all. I was there almost before the police. Edging my way through the little crowd, staring down at the man lying there in his white uniform under the street light. Yeah, the milkman. [00:28:11] Speaker C: Poor guy. [00:28:11] Speaker F: I heard him scream. But when I got here, just like this. [00:28:15] Speaker H: Stand back. [00:28:16] Speaker F: Stand back, please. Please stand back. Well, you again. I. I heard it on the radio. I live just down the road. Yeah, yeah, I remember. What. What happened? Well, take a look. Maybe you can tell us. He was dead. And he was lying on his back and his throat had been torn out as though by the fangs of some wild animal. It is now Christmas Eve or other Christmas morning, for it's a little after midnight. I've been waiting here. Here in the stillness of this empty house for nearly 24 hours. Waiting for the end. Already once tonight I've heard that dreadful wailing cry. Somewhere in the hills. I've nailed up the closet door. But that I know is childish and useless. My arm is horribly swollen and turning black. But that's nothing. It's another end that I foresee as surely as other men foresee the rising of the sun. I hear the cry again. It's nearer now. I shall leave these notes in a sealed envelope and put it in a shoebox in the hope that someone will give credence to these dark and terrible events, if indeed such nameless horrors can ever yield to mortal understanding. As for myself, I feel no longer any fear or even sorrow. Only a desire that the end and the thing that I must do may come soon. And it will be soon, I know. Yes, but there is someone at the door. [00:30:17] Speaker G: Someone at the door, huh? What do you make of it, Sam? [00:30:23] Speaker B: It's quite a yarn. [00:30:24] Speaker F: But what of it? [00:30:25] Speaker G: That's what I thought. Now listen, that's not quite all of it. Clip to. It's a newspaper clipping. Listen. Hollywood, December 26th. Police reported what was apparently a case of murder and suicide in Cypress Canyon sometime in the early hours of the morning. The victims were James A. Woods, a chemical engineer, and his wife, Ellen. Preliminary Investigation indicates that Mrs. Woods was killed by the blast of a shotgun in the hands of her husband, who then turned the weapon upon himself. That she fought desperately for her life, however, was evidenced by the disorder of the room and the severe lacerations inflicted upon her husband about the neck and arms. This is the second tragedy to be reported in Cypress Canyon within 24 hours, the other being the unexplained death of Frank Polanski, a milkman. [00:31:19] Speaker F: Well, no such murders or whatever they were, ever occurred, if that's what's worrying you. The clipping. Well, you have those things printed up, you know. [00:31:26] Speaker G: No, no, it's not that, Sam. That story was found in an unfinished house in Cypress Canyon. No number, no nothing. Just a framework. [00:31:34] Speaker H: Uh huh. [00:31:34] Speaker G: Now that house is finished. When I drove by it today. Well, that's what stopped me, Sam, because it all fits now that it's finished. It is the house in the story. The same construction, the same vines and creepers on the lawn, even the same number. [00:31:47] Speaker B: So what? [00:31:48] Speaker F: A guy who knows roughly what this [00:31:49] Speaker B: house is going to be like writes [00:31:51] Speaker F: a yarn and loses it or something? [00:31:52] Speaker G: Did he know the place was going to be listed for rental today? The Saturday before Christmas, Jerry. [00:31:57] Speaker F: Coincidence. Two bits. You find the guy next door is a ghost story writer or something and he's been wondering for a year what happened to that thing he wrote. Okay, okay. [00:32:08] Speaker G: Coincidence. I'm sorry I bothered you, Sam. [00:32:13] Speaker F: Don't be silly. [00:32:14] Speaker B: I liked it. [00:32:14] Speaker F: It's a good yarn. That the for rent sign you were talking about? [00:32:19] Speaker G: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put it up outside now. [00:32:21] Speaker F: Uh huh. Well, so long, Jerry, and Merry Christmas again. [00:32:25] Speaker G: Well, thanks, Sam. I guess I was kind of silly. [00:32:29] Speaker F: All right, listen. When a guy named whatever it is, woods with a wife named Ellen comes in to rent that place from you, [00:32:36] Speaker B: then you can start worrying. [00:32:37] Speaker G: Yeah. Well, so long, Sam. [00:32:40] Speaker F: So long, Jerry. [00:32:45] Speaker G: Come in. [00:32:50] Speaker F: Oh, we're sorry to bother you, but we just happened to see that For Rent sign outside. [00:32:54] Speaker G: Yeah, I hung it out just this minute. [00:32:56] Speaker H: Is. Is the house available? [00:32:59] Speaker B: Sure. [00:33:00] Speaker F: Sure it is. Let me introduce myself. My name is James A. Woods, and this is my wife, Ellen. How do? [00:33:09] Speaker B: Wow. [00:33:11] Speaker G: Looks like it's fixing to. [00:33:14] Speaker F: Yes, it does, doesn't. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Suspense Presented by Roma Wines. R O M A Roma wines selected for your pleasure from the world's greatest reserves of fine wines. Tonight's show marks the third birthday of suspense on the air. And this is Ken Niles asking our star of the evening, Robert Taylor, to help us celebrate. [00:34:00] Speaker F: Why didn't you tell me before, Ken? If I'd only known, I'd have baked a cake. [00:34:03] Speaker B: Well, Bob, all suspense parties are surprise parties. As an old hand on suspense, you know that in our plays the tables are usually turned on the star. So tonight, although it's our birthday, we're going to give you a present. Here it is. A gift basket of grand estate California wines from Roma, America's greatest vintner, to our distinguished anniversary guest, Robert Taylor. [00:34:26] Speaker F: Thanks, Ken. You turn a nice table and you [00:34:28] Speaker B: can set a nice table with Grand Estate Burgundy in your basket, Bob. For grand Estate Burgundy means rare dining pleasure adds memorable distinction to holiday dinner. Even everyday meals are outstanding in taste when Grand Estate Burgundy is served. Yes, all grand estate wines presented by Roma are limited bottlings of outstanding taste. Excellent. [00:34:52] Speaker F: That I know about grand estate wines, Ken. [00:34:54] Speaker B: But did you know that for grand estate wines, Roma selects only the choicest grapes? Then the ancient skill of Roma master vintners, necessary time and America's finest winemaking resources guide the cuvee of this grape treasure to rich taste luxury. That's why discriminating wine users everywhere look to Grand Estate wines as the crowning achievement of wittner skill. [00:35:18] Speaker F: Reason enough. And now, Ken, who's all set to star on Suspense next Thursday? [00:35:23] Speaker B: It's that very wonderful actress and wonderful girl, Miss Susan Peters. Susan will appear as a young lady in straightened circumstances who finds herself mistaken for a very rich young lady and who is forced into continuing the deception with murder as a result. [00:35:38] Speaker F: I'll certainly make it a point to listen. And before I go, I'd like to thank this really great company of actors who have played with me tonight, and particularly Kathy Lewis, who played Ellen. [00:35:46] Speaker H: Thank you, Bob. [00:35:47] Speaker F: Tonight's original suspense play was written by Robert L. Richards. Next Thursday, same time, you will hear Ms. Susan Peters as star of Suspense [00:35:59] Speaker B: produced by William Speer for the Roma Wine Company of Fresno, California. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System [00:36:11] Speaker A: Foreign. [00:36:26] Speaker C: That was the house in Cypress Canyon. Here on the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society podcast once again. I'm Eric. [00:36:34] Speaker E: I'm Tim. [00:36:34] Speaker A: I'm Joshua. [00:36:35] Speaker D: And I'm Sanon. [00:36:36] Speaker C: And we are recording live at the Bryant Lake Bull Theater in Minneapolis, celebrating 400th episode of this podcast. Yeah. Thank you all for being here. I can't. I have no record recollection that first podcast. [00:36:56] Speaker D: These people are what's happening. [00:36:58] Speaker C: No, I have no recollection of that first podcast at all. As far as what I said and what I thought. [00:37:04] Speaker A: Well, here's the funny thing. We recorded it. [00:37:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:06] Speaker A: And you could have re. Listened to it. [00:37:08] Speaker H: Yeah. [00:37:09] Speaker A: Wouldn't help. [00:37:10] Speaker C: I figure you'll tell me my favorite thing of all, and there's a lot to love about this, but is how old radio announcers said yes. [00:37:24] Speaker E: Yes. [00:37:25] Speaker C: It's a weird thing that we've lost. I think we should bring that back. [00:37:29] Speaker A: They would have been great improvisers. [00:37:31] Speaker F: Yes. [00:37:32] Speaker A: And [00:37:36] Speaker E: curious. Either anyone on the stage or in the audience. Has anyone ever actually had Roma wine? [00:37:43] Speaker D: I. I want to so badly. [00:37:46] Speaker C: There are. [00:37:46] Speaker E: I know how I think it's gonna taste. [00:37:48] Speaker D: Oh, it's gotta be. [00:37:50] Speaker E: Yeah. It's gonna be devastating. But wouldn't it be crazy? [00:37:53] Speaker A: I don't think it's been made for 20 years. So if you found a bottle, it probably would be. [00:37:58] Speaker D: I don't think it ages well, like other wines age well. [00:38:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Somebody's gotta have a bottle somewhere. [00:38:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:05] Speaker C: We did the research on this once and found out that they were absorbed by another company. And then that in the 60s. And then that. [00:38:12] Speaker A: Carlo Rossi. That's right. [00:38:16] Speaker C: And then it became Dr. Pepper. [00:38:17] Speaker E: But I didn't know if somebody, like, years and years ago, when I was six years old, dad gave me some Roma wine, and it was. It was terrible. I don't. I Just curious. [00:38:25] Speaker D: Well, it's like that. What was that? Oh, my God. I should have looked Asti Spumonti or whatever. You know, it's like all of those, like. What was it called? [00:38:32] Speaker E: Martini and Rossi. [00:38:33] Speaker D: Martini and Rossi. [00:38:34] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:38:35] Speaker D: It was like that era of. [00:38:37] Speaker C: Remember the Martini and Rossi commercials? [00:38:39] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Those were sexy. [00:38:41] Speaker C: All right, well, thanks for coming. So I'm pretty sure. I mean, this is one of those radio shows that is almost universally agreed upon, is a classic. It is considered one of the best radio episodes ever done of radio drama. So I'm guessing at the time I said classic, but I will tell you that right now after sitting here and listening to it again. Yeah, that's absolutely almost a flawless piece of beautiful horror. It's really well done. [00:39:13] Speaker A: You mentioned its status among Old Time Radio aficionados as a classic. And when I was listening to this, this time, as opposed to nine years ago, it struck me that Old Time Radio classics can be parsed into two buckets. These classics that were instant hits, right? And the classics that were sleeper hits. So in the instant hits you have, like, sorry, Wrong Number, which was performed countless times, adapted into film, people loved it. People went crazy for it. War of the Worlds, you know, launched Wells into notoriety. [00:39:54] Speaker C: The Hitchhiker. [00:39:55] Speaker A: The Hitchhiker, yes. Yeah, that was pretty popular. And then you have these sleeper hits like this that played once and no one really thought much of it. And then as Old Time Radio fans have dug these copies up later, they have went, wow, this is really amazing. I think thing in the four ball from Quiet Please, another example of that that just sort of was aired under the radar, so to speak, and then later became a classic. And I think part of the reason for that is that this episode is so ahead of its time in. In the way it uses the elements of horror, the way it decides, hey, let's have a Christmas story in which the protagonists, you know, have a murder suicide at the end. Buy Roma wine. [00:40:45] Speaker C: Right. [00:40:47] Speaker A: I'm actually surprised. Roma was like, yeah, cool. [00:40:51] Speaker C: I was. I'm taken by do we know. And I should know this, but what era of suspense this. This aired? [00:40:59] Speaker A: Well, they said this is the third anniversary of suspense. Right. [00:41:03] Speaker E: So 45. [00:41:05] Speaker F: Yep. [00:41:05] Speaker C: Toward the beginning. So really they were at their best then. And if you don't know, suspense had a. Had a long history and toward the end really started to go downhill, but [00:41:19] Speaker A: they still had a good eight, nine really great years ahead of them. [00:41:23] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. This is the production value had to be just shocking for the time, for that era, because it's so meticulous. It is so beautifully done. And we like to call it creating the space in our head. Like you can see everything so well, and they rely so, so well on sound to tell you the story. I think one of the great things I love in this is the idea that him being bit in the arm is a music sting instead of hearing. Well, now that you do that, I'd like to hear that. [00:42:00] Speaker E: It's a good option. [00:42:02] Speaker C: Get off me. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Well, I re. Listen to our first episode. [00:42:07] Speaker C: Good for you. [00:42:08] Speaker A: And I'm curious to you, Eric, in particular, because there were two things that Bothered you about this the first time around? [00:42:17] Speaker D: It was nine years ago. Do you remember yourself nine years ago? [00:42:21] Speaker C: I don't remember yesterday, no. [00:42:22] Speaker D: So young and anything. Nine years ago? [00:42:25] Speaker C: No. Well, lay him on me. [00:42:27] Speaker A: Well, for starters, you were disturbed by the fact that the characters did not react with the level of horror you would in this situation, that they weren't just running and screaming and bumping into this. Also, you really wanted to know exactly what she transformed into. Did this bother you less this time? [00:42:49] Speaker C: It does. Because over the last 10 years of doing this podcast and listening to thousands. [00:42:55] Speaker A: Nine years. Technically, we don't want to blow it because we're going to do 10 years a year. [00:42:58] Speaker C: But the thousands of episodes of radio shows and radio drama, I've come to appreciate the idea of. I used to hate the idea of like Pulp Fiction not telling us what's in the suitcase. [00:43:13] Speaker A: Right. [00:43:13] Speaker C: That's made. Made me crazy. Well, what's the point? I want my two hours back. Like I'm sitting there waiting to find out what's in the suitcase. But I. I understand a lot more now that, that not knowing, that suspense of that not knowing is exactly the feeling that you're supposed to leave with and you're supposed to feel. And also whatever it is can be mine. Whatever, instead of them specifically telling me. So, yeah, I've changed my opinion on that. [00:43:41] Speaker D: This is a little journey, [00:43:44] Speaker A: a nine year journey. [00:43:47] Speaker C: So, yeah, I have more appreciation for that. I think it can still be still. There are things I hear or listen to where it doesn't do that, where. That I consider lazy. I. I think it can be an out. But in this situation, I think it's more supportive of huge. Terrifying yourself more than they can terrify you. And what it is. What was the other thing I hated [00:44:07] Speaker E: or the reactions, the people. [00:44:09] Speaker C: Oh, the reactions of the people. Yeah. It was just. [00:44:11] Speaker D: He was journaling and you wanted him running around the house screaming. [00:44:14] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm always. I hope it never happens that I'm in a situation where I get to say in that moment, oh, this is how I would react to that. Like, you know, something terrible happening. They. Oh, because you think I don't know how I would be in that situation. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be great. And, and probably a lot of screaming and yelling, I don't know. Or maybe I'll just be like, I pass out. I don't know. But I always think that there has to be some kind of impulsive terror or reaction in that moment. And I find it really Unsettling when someone isn't. Which I now think is the point. [00:44:57] Speaker A: Yes. Although I, when I first heard this thought, that is an intentional choice on Robert Taylor's part to give such a muted, quiet performance. But then this time around, when I heard him talking to the announcer at the end, when he continued that same lack of commitment when he was. The announcer says next week's episode. Yeah. He's like, yes, I will definitely tune into that episode. [00:45:23] Speaker E: You think he's being held hostage? [00:45:26] Speaker D: You're right. He was like, thank you, everybody. That was amazing at the end. [00:45:30] Speaker A: Oh, yes. And we forgot about the woman, Kathy Lewis. [00:45:33] Speaker E: Thank you, Bob. [00:45:34] Speaker D: Thank you so much. And then I just imagine the microphone went. [00:45:36] Speaker H: You. [00:45:39] Speaker C: Thank you so much. [00:45:40] Speaker D: That's enough, Kathy. [00:45:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:43] Speaker E: One small thing. One big thing. Small thing was the Dr. Paul Freeze. [00:45:46] Speaker A: Yes. [00:45:47] Speaker D: Nice. [00:45:48] Speaker E: Yeah, I didn't catch that before. [00:45:50] Speaker A: As long as we brought that up, I will share that. There are a lot of popular voice actors in here. Wally Mayer played the lead cop who was also the voice of Screwy squirrel in the 1940s Tex Avery cartoons, sometimes called Screwball Squirrel. You know, continuity issues. And the second cop was played by Jim Backus. Oh, Thurston Howell on Gilligan's Island. Yes. Yes. [00:46:20] Speaker D: Yeah. Was he the one going, this door is okay? [00:46:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:23] Speaker C: He was the one saying, pack all my money for the three hour tour. [00:46:28] Speaker F: All of it. [00:46:30] Speaker A: Of course. Hans Conreid is the real estate agent. [00:46:33] Speaker D: Yes. [00:46:34] Speaker A: Who? It was a popular voice in radio. Also on television, guest stars. He was the voice of why Am I Blinking in the Pirate in Peter Pan. [00:46:44] Speaker B: Hook. [00:46:45] Speaker C: Hook. [00:46:45] Speaker A: Yes, Hook. But even more impressive, he was dastardly. No, not Snidely Whiplash in Dudley Duright. I was like, dastardly. [00:46:56] Speaker D: Dastardly. Stupid. I was like, who's that? [00:46:58] Speaker A: Like from the mirror universe. He's the evil Dudley Do. [00:47:02] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:03] Speaker C: Jim bacus was also Mr. Magoo. And as long as it's Christmas, the Mr. Magoo Christmas cartoon is really good. It's just so, y' all know, putting that out there. I didn't know two years ago. I went, hey, that wasn't bad. [00:47:17] Speaker D: It's better after some holly nogs. [00:47:20] Speaker H: Sure. [00:47:20] Speaker C: Yeah. What is it? [00:47:24] Speaker E: So when we first talked about this, we dug in a little to the themes. This is post war. So this is a couple coming, newly reunited, in theory, after the war, getting a new home to start their new lives. And that maybe part of the themes behind this is this distance between them, this trauma he experienced in war. And I doubled down on that belief this time. [00:47:47] Speaker C: Going through. [00:47:48] Speaker E: Here's my explanation. Here's my rationale. When they give the tour of the house, Hans Conrey specifically says, the den is for the man. [00:47:57] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:47:59] Speaker E: And then the closet is off the den. That's man's space. And the wife specifically says, oh, what a thing for a woman to not know where all the closets. All the closets are. So this is the secret closet not accessible to the woman. [00:48:16] Speaker C: Don't say it like that. [00:48:17] Speaker E: I'm sorry. [00:48:18] Speaker D: The secret closet not accessible to the woman. America, like, wait, it's locked. You're right, though. You're right, it is. They do make a point of saying it's adjoining. It's like right off. Yeah, the man's room. [00:48:34] Speaker A: And I think we brought this up when we first talked about it, but it felt more important. Important this time around. And that is the fact that the homes had been started before the war. They had to pause the construction, then they were finished. And I feel like that is where the horror of this story lurks, is in that pause of life. It's that blank space that the couple doesn't talk about. No one in the story talks about other than to mention the home. And even that sequence at the beginning, which they dedicate a lot of time to, of just the mundane household discussions, like, where will we put this? Should we move these pictures? I don't know. Brushing their teeth. And to me, it struck me this time as this idea, and I think to a certain degree, horror at this notion that we just won a war and should we maybe be doing something more profound with it than, you know, buying a boxed house and bickering about where to hang paintings? And so I feel like, again, it's very ambiguous, but that's where the horror [00:49:43] Speaker E: lies and that it's a new house. But as they're being walked through it. Sorry. We can fix this. This is creaking. [00:49:49] Speaker D: This is dusty. [00:49:50] Speaker E: Yeah. This brand new house is already sort of old. [00:49:55] Speaker A: So I question his own statement at the top where he says, you know, we did nothing. We are just your average American happy family. We deserve none of this. That seems like a tale to say, like, oh, maybe we should look at what they did or didn't do. [00:50:12] Speaker E: And I was following the same logic to when the cops come. [00:50:18] Speaker D: We just heard sirens out on Lake Street. [00:50:20] Speaker E: That was a very expensive effect. For the purpose of this podcast. They can go look in that closet just fine. Looks good to me. All good here. We're dudes. We understand, right? [00:50:32] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you are seeing it and we talked about this in the first episode about this gendered reading of this. [00:50:41] Speaker E: Yeah. Which I'm more on board now. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Nine years later, the horror being that you go away from war and the. The women, in the absence of the men, become self actualized. [00:50:52] Speaker B: Someone changed. [00:50:53] Speaker A: Changed some amount of time. And then the men come back and everything has to be restarted and they have to go in their menstrual closet. I may be taking it too far, but menstrual closet here. [00:51:08] Speaker C: I thought it was just a scary thing in the closet. [00:51:11] Speaker E: That's what we're saying. [00:51:12] Speaker C: It's really deep. This is so much deeper than I thought. [00:51:16] Speaker D: Well, no, I. There. There is such a. I mean, I realize, of course it's going to be in California, you know, CBS and all of it. But there was such an insane growth in California at that time. And in fact, my grandparents owned one of those houses on depalma which is now, you know, probably an oxygen bar or something. [00:51:37] Speaker H: Who knows? [00:51:37] Speaker D: But it's just been like it was just this house. I mean, it looked like if you breathed into a straw it would just pop up, you know, and it was just this little tiny. And yet the one next to it was exactly the same. And the one. And it used to be just surrounded [00:51:51] Speaker C: by orange groves and like the martinis house and wonderful life. [00:51:55] Speaker D: Yes. Oh, yes. [00:51:57] Speaker E: But this incredible effort to be normal. [00:52:00] Speaker D: Right. And they, you know, they lived there, but it was tiny. And it really reminds me of that. And they went, they moved from here. California, robust. I mean, California just got inundated with people just like this is where the jobs are. And his company sent him to California. I just think it was. That was just interesting too. So I'm gonna. When I work on my thesis, I'm gonna interview you, Tim. [00:52:24] Speaker A: And maybe that's why it wasn't an instant classic when it was aired. You can see the couple that this radio show is about just sitting there staring at the radio, listening, and they turn it off. And then just slowly one of the pictures. [00:52:38] Speaker D: The pictures falls down. Yeah. [00:52:42] Speaker A: So did you hear that radio show? No, it's just a tomcat. [00:52:50] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:52:52] Speaker A: So another interesting thing that has changed since the last time we listened to this nine years ago is that we have performed this script. [00:53:00] Speaker C: Right. [00:53:01] Speaker A: Many times. And after performing this script live many times, I have come to the conclusion that it is the opposite of children. It should be heard, not seen. It is a difficult radio show to do live. And it was very fascinating to have a live audience here listening to the radio recording and to really know 100% that when someone is in a dark room listening to the radio show, they don't laugh like they do when it's us on stage saying some of these, [00:53:38] Speaker D: talking about toothpaste and. Yeah, it's in the medicine cabinet, you idiot. You know, stuff like that. [00:53:43] Speaker A: And that cry in the night is terrifying in the radio show, but there we tried so many different ways to sell that scream without getting. [00:53:53] Speaker C: I think our mistake was going with yabba dabba. [00:53:55] Speaker H: Do [00:53:58] Speaker D: you, Tim, you were a great. [00:54:00] Speaker A: James, that's very kind. [00:54:01] Speaker D: You were. [00:54:02] Speaker A: No, I'm not knocking us, but it's hard to work around things. Right. Screeching on stage. And one of the things that we tried was to, like, turn our back to the audience. Right. So they weren't just seeing our faces as we scream like an animal. That's usually what I do. It was more awkward. It just felt like we realized our zippers were down. Caught ourselves in it. [00:54:28] Speaker C: Yeah. Some of the outdated stuff is. Is like this room right here is primarily a room full of people that love old time radio, I'm guessing, hopefully. [00:54:36] Speaker A: Except for those five people who walked out. [00:54:40] Speaker C: So I think that we are able, as enthusiasts of this. This form and of the history of it, are much more forgiving of the contextual things that we know that are outdated and kind of let them go and go. Yeah, that's the thing that, you know, that's. But when you have an audience say we're doing a show somewhere and there's 80% of the crowd, it's like, that sounds fun. We'll go see that. That contextual things that we're doing makes them laugh because they're not as used to it as. As we are. [00:55:07] Speaker A: And we're standing there live. We aren't a. A antiquated sound file. We. We cannot separate ourselves from our contemporary status. Right. I know, because every time we performed it live, when Shannon, as the wife, says, like, what kind of woman would move into a house without knowing where all the closets are? Huge laugh. But maybe you guys smirked in the dark. Hey, I just think that's quite interesting. [00:55:35] Speaker D: It is. No, that's really. That is really interesting because it is. I think it is such a great. You want to put headphones on with this one and just immerse it. Close your eyes. Yeah. And just. Just be in it. Yeah. 100%. [00:55:48] Speaker E: I want to acknowledge, for folks who are familiar with the podcast we did at the very intro play the original intro that we did for the very first few episodes, as well as the original Intro mantra. That's. Usually it's late at night, which I take full responsibility for overwriting that. That was too much. And thank you, other people on the team for cutting it. [00:56:15] Speaker C: If I remember correctly, and I probably don't, because Lord knows. But that change in our intro when it was rewritten, wasn't that done by your son Aaron? Didn't he like, say, hey, you got to get rid of some of this butt numbing stuff? [00:56:31] Speaker A: That's a sweet story, but I think you invented it entirely. [00:56:34] Speaker D: I. I do, I do want to just. [00:56:37] Speaker E: The kids love the butt numbing stuff. [00:56:39] Speaker A: Yeah, my kids were like, more butt numbing. [00:56:41] Speaker D: I. I will share. First of all, I don't remember the butt numbing in the early days. And I was, you know, we were all so young trying to find the slide. And I just want to be really clear. Do not Google. [00:56:58] Speaker C: But numbing bunch of naked guys sitting on ice. [00:57:01] Speaker D: No, I wish. [00:57:02] Speaker A: Lucky. Yeah, you're lucky. [00:57:05] Speaker D: I'll just say, and I was in images, you know, because I'm looking for. I just want to share that. That was just a safety tip. [00:57:13] Speaker C: Well, should we head into our second round of this vote? [00:57:19] Speaker A: Yes. But before we do that, speaking of voting, our patrons, Ryan, who is here tonight. [00:57:28] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:57:28] Speaker E: Ryan. [00:57:29] Speaker D: Ryan. Hi. Hi. [00:57:30] Speaker A: Mac, who is out there in podcast land, they did a favor for us and they gathered a bunch of stats about how over at this point, 380some episodes, because we haven't released all the episodes up to 400 yet, how we voted through these nine years. So I do want to share a little of that with you. It was a lot of work, so I don't want to let it go. And first of all, for anyone here who wandered in off the the street, first, I'm sorry. And second, we over time developed a series of voting categories for these old time radio shows. And they're either timeless, classic, not a classic, but it Stand the test of time. Historically interesting, but not a classic. Fun, but, you know, doesn't really Stand the test of time. And this final vote that Ryan and Mac just. Just summarized as crap, but it basically means hated all of it, would never listen to it again. Okay. And so according to their archival data. Who do you think? First of all, I gotta ask you guys, who do you think has handed out the most classic votes? [00:58:45] Speaker E: I know, because I'm looking over your shoulder. [00:58:46] Speaker C: Oh, I don't know, because I'm not. I don't have my glasses. I'm going to say you, though. I would. That would be my guess. [00:58:54] Speaker A: Okay. Eric is right. I have given out 122 classics over nine years. [00:59:01] Speaker E: One of three. [00:59:02] Speaker A: Tim comes in second at 116 and Eric at 110 classics. [00:59:07] Speaker D: So pretty close. [00:59:09] Speaker A: That's pretty good. [00:59:10] Speaker C: None of mine were frontier gentlemen. [00:59:14] Speaker A: Now, who do you think, out of the three of us has awarded the most to crap votes? [00:59:20] Speaker C: Maybe Eric for sure. [00:59:22] Speaker A: Me. [00:59:22] Speaker D: I thought we. Okay, now I've just like. [00:59:24] Speaker A: It's not even close. Eric has given 45 big old craps. [00:59:30] Speaker D: Wow. Dude. [00:59:32] Speaker A: I'm next with 15. Oh, no. And Tim is last with seven. [00:59:41] Speaker D: Oh, that's so. Tim, you were the best. [00:59:44] Speaker E: They sure tried hard. [00:59:45] Speaker D: They're trying so hard. Thanks for making the radio show. [00:59:53] Speaker C: That was the best Timur impression I've ever so. [00:59:57] Speaker E: But those seven. God damn you. [01:00:00] Speaker H: Yeah. [01:00:01] Speaker D: I hope you die. [01:00:05] Speaker A: Don't wanna. [01:00:05] Speaker C: Not often. But when he goes, [01:00:09] Speaker D: I will seek revenge. [01:00:12] Speaker A: I secretly suspect sometimes your crap votes are just like. You didn't listen to it. So you're just like, I hated it. I don't even want to talk about it. [01:00:20] Speaker D: Or you don't remember it. [01:00:22] Speaker C: Maybe never, ever, ever done a podcast without listening to them? Never. I have cutting in under the wire. [01:00:29] Speaker A: Yes. [01:00:30] Speaker C: For recording time on the way there. [01:00:32] Speaker E: Like the first half of the podcast. You're kind of silent for a bit of that. [01:00:36] Speaker F: Right. [01:00:36] Speaker C: Because I'm listening. I know what I hate. [01:00:40] Speaker D: I guess that's a lot of shows. [01:00:44] Speaker A: Yeah. There's some more interesting facts, and we'll maybe share those in some episodes as we continue to crunch the numbers, but thank you, Ryan. Yeah. That's so good to know. [01:00:57] Speaker F: Yeah. [01:00:57] Speaker C: Are we gonna. We're gonna crunch numbers. [01:01:00] Speaker F: Yeah. [01:01:01] Speaker C: Sweet. [01:01:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna have check. [01:01:03] Speaker C: I don't even know how to do that. All right, so just to bring my average up. That was fantastic. That's my vote. That's a classic. All right. So good. [01:01:16] Speaker A: Yay. [01:01:17] Speaker C: Cypress Canyon house. [01:01:20] Speaker E: So good. It undoes some of my other negative votes. [01:01:23] Speaker G: Right. [01:01:25] Speaker C: I want the list of the 45 I hated. [01:01:29] Speaker A: I'll send them your way. [01:01:30] Speaker D: You're gonna write all of those people in a few. [01:01:33] Speaker C: Cranky, crabby. [01:01:35] Speaker A: Man, you are. In a future episode, we will share your top five old time radio shows as listed throughout nine years. And there are actually six of them, so that'll be an interesting factoid for you. [01:01:48] Speaker C: So I vote classic and Stand the test of time. And stands the nine years we're doing this podcast for sure. [01:01:56] Speaker D: Yes. Oh, I love this one. I think because it was the first radio pro, you know, show that I've ever Performed, which now I know just didn't work out, but I'm kidding. Okay. I just did. Yeah. No, I. [01:02:11] Speaker E: There was just something about this show really made it kind of. [01:02:16] Speaker F: I don't know. [01:02:16] Speaker A: Oh, yes. And we'd like to shake. Thank Shannon very much. Just like Kathy Lewis. Now you can get out. [01:02:22] Speaker D: But I do. I think I very much. I think that has that special place for me because of that. Because I'm definitely the newest in the world of old time radio, so I definitely think this is a classic. [01:02:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:35] Speaker E: This is so nice of them to make this show. I really appreciate. Hey, guys. Thanks for doing the radio show. It's awesome. Classic. [01:02:44] Speaker D: Classic. Yeah. [01:02:45] Speaker A: Yeah. I like it even more after nine years of listening to so much old time radio that I really understand, like, how. [01:02:55] Speaker E: How bad it can get. [01:02:56] Speaker A: How bad it can get. [01:02:57] Speaker C: Scott Bishop. [01:03:00] Speaker A: But just how ahead of its time this script was. And I listen to it now, and I honestly go, wow. I've read stories about some scripts having the. The sponsors refuse to do them, and I'm actually surprised that this made it on the air. [01:03:15] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:15] Speaker A: Particularly as a pseudo Christmas episode. So definitely a classic. [01:03:21] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:03:22] Speaker A: My point of view. [01:03:23] Speaker C: Nice. [01:03:23] Speaker A: All right, but now we got to get the audience vote. Maybe there's someone here who's like, I can't believe they did again. [01:03:32] Speaker C: So by round of applause, sir, how many people thought it was a classic? [01:03:39] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [01:03:42] Speaker E: Pretty raucous for Minnesota. [01:03:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:45] Speaker C: How many of you thought it was. Stood Stand the test of but not a classic? [01:03:51] Speaker E: Fair enough. [01:03:52] Speaker F: Fair enough. [01:03:53] Speaker A: Applaud if you thought it was crap. [01:03:57] Speaker D: Oh, that's nice. [01:03:59] Speaker E: Aw. [01:04:03] Speaker C: I think we were all seriously hoping for someone to come first. [01:04:06] Speaker E: One set of hands stops in midair. [01:04:09] Speaker B: Ooh, just me. [01:04:11] Speaker C: All right, well, Tim, tell them stuff. [01:04:15] Speaker E: Hey, go visit ghoulishlights.com there you'll find a link to our swag store if you want to buy some. Some T shirts or a hat or a tote bag. Everyone loves a tote bag, right? I usually at this point say, hey, if you go, you can leave comments and you can fill out polls. But for this episode, I did some research of, like, how many votes do we get on these polls? And the answer is not much. So the polls might get phased out. We might stop doing the polls. [01:04:41] Speaker A: So why are you putting bad news in episode 400? [01:04:46] Speaker E: Well, the news might be there's polls. [01:04:49] Speaker A: Yes, I've said it. [01:04:52] Speaker E: Every episode for 400 episodes. You can also find a link to our Patreon page. [01:04:59] Speaker A: Yes. Go to patreon.com themorals and support this podcast. Do we have any patrons in the house tonight? [01:05:06] Speaker E: Yay. [01:05:07] Speaker A: Oh look at that. [01:05:08] Speaker E: You are awesome. [01:05:10] Speaker A: Wow. But if you love this podcast you can support support it. It makes things like this show possible. It makes it possible for us to continue listening to old time radio shows because at some point it is butt numbing. So we appreciate all our patrons and if you become a patron, we have so many perks we might ask you to do a soul crushing task like we did. Ryan. Hey just listen to 380something episodes and tally our scores for us because we can't be bothered. So you too could do that plus give us money. Go to patreon.com themorals and the Mysterious [01:05:51] Speaker C: Old Radio Listening Society is also a theater company that performs live on stage recreations of classic old time radio shows and a lot of our own original work. You can find out where we're performing and what we're performing and how to get tickets. Just go to go. [01:06:06] Speaker E: Ghoulishdelights.com right now watch us scream awkwardly on stage. [01:06:13] Speaker C: This is October, September of 2025, so just want to get this plug out there to our audience here that we will have shows at the Phipps center for the Performing Arts on the last three Sundays in October. And we also have a show at Crooners in Fridley over there in October. And so look that up. Ghoulishdelights.com also we record all of our live stage shows. The audio of those are available to our Patreon. So you get to listen to those by being a Patreon. Another perk. [01:06:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:47] Speaker C: All right, what's coming up next? [01:06:49] Speaker E: Bit of explanation here. I'll go fast. For the last nine years, every end of the year we have listened to a different adaptation of the Signal man, which is the other ghost story by Charles Dickens. This is our ninth year of doing that. The version we're gonna be listening to next week is the CBC Mystery Theater adaptation. We've listened to a lot of adaptations, some fantastic, some garbage, but we keep going. So next week, the Signal Man. [01:07:17] Speaker A: Until then, [01:07:27] Speaker C: Get off my yard stupid radio show.