Episode 343: The Edge of the Shadow

[00:00:08] Speaker A: The mysterious old radio listening society. Live from the Bryant Lake bowl. Good evening, creeps. Please welcome to the stage your mysterious hosts, Eric, Tim, Joshua, and special ghoulish guest star Shannon Custer. [00:00:44] Speaker B: Welcome to the mysterious old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime, and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:53] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:00:54] Speaker A: I'm Joshua. [00:00:55] Speaker D: And I'm Shannon. And we love mysterious old time radio stories. But do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:01:03] Speaker C: Tonight we present an episode of my choosing the Edge of the Shadow from dark fantasy. In December of 1941, Movie Radio Guide published a letter from George M. Hammacher in response to a reader asking about other radio shows similar to popular horror series lights out, Hamaker. I'm gonna pronounce it different each time. Hamaker's letter suggested dark fantasy, a new series written by Scott Bishop. The letter was more than just a casual recommendation, it was a savvy bit of self promotion. Scott Bishop was actually a pseudonym used by George Haymaker, a native of Kansas. [00:01:39] Speaker B: Hema Kyar, alias Scott Bishop, wrote pulp stories and performed on stage before joining Topeka station WIBW in the early 1930s. There, he wrote for the local WIBW players and other regional radio programs. In 1936, Bishop moved to Oklahoma City and continued to write for local radio, including such regional series as tales of the Witch Queen, the Heart of Martha Blair, and calling Detective O'Leary. [00:02:11] Speaker D: Dark Fantasy ran from November 14, 1941 through June 19, 1942. It was an in house production of WKY in Oklahoma City, but broadcast nationally by NBC. Most of the actors heard on the show were from the Oklahoma City area, including veteran radio actor Ben Morris and local stage actor Eleanor Naylor. Coffran, WKY's traffic manager Daryl McAllister, was brought in to handle sound effects. [00:02:42] Speaker A: As Bishop's letter to movie radio guide suggests, NBC hoped to promote dark fantasy as the natural successor to lights out. On the surface, the two series had much in common. Both were late night horror themed anthology programs written by young, up and coming radio writers. Much like lights out writer director Arch Obler, Scott Bishop wanted to shock and terrify his listeners. According to an interview in the Capital Times published April 19, 1942, Bishop believed radio horror was best achieved through things unusual or even supernatural. Because it's not the terror itself that causes listeners hair to rise. It's the unseen, unaccountable cause of the terror. [00:03:31] Speaker C: As a writer, Bishop is at his best when he follows this unseen, unaccountable rule of terror. His scripts have an elusive, dreamlike quality where real world logic gives way to free association. His actors add to this effect with unnaturally muted performances, often delivering their lines in hushed tones, as if they were deliberately attempting to lull the listener into a troubled sleep. Your hair rises, as Bishop put it, because you sense the story is leading you toward a vague, inexplicable danger. [00:04:00] Speaker B: The problem is, Bishop frequently breaks his own rule by revealing the source of vague, inexplicable danger. And nine times out of ten, it's absolutely ridiculous. The listener's suspension of disbelief flies away like an airplane piloted by an opera singing gorilla. Yes, that is a reference to an actual dark fantasy episode. You can't make it up unless you're. [00:04:28] Speaker D: Scott Bishop or George Hummacher. To be fair, dark fantasy has its defenders. They contend that Bishop meant these stories to be experienced late at night, when the mind is vulnerable to the vagaries of the dark. For hardcore fans, the fun of Bishop's plays is actively placing yourself in the ideal state to hear them alone in a darkened room, or, in the case. [00:04:52] Speaker A: Of tonight, a bowling alley full of strangers. Either way, it's unfortunately time to listen to the edge of the shadow from dark fantasy. First broadcast April 10, 1942. It's late at night, and a chill has set in. You're alone, and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:05:41] Speaker E: Dark fantasy mid of the shadow okay, Miss Fuller. Cow's bedded down for the night. Well, Hank, come over here a minute, would you? Sure. Something wrong? Cow here seems to have hurt herself. It's like a barbed wire cut. Let's have a look. Yeah, you're right. Does look like barbed wire. There's no barbed wire where this animal's been. Only wire like that on your property. Mister Fuller is over south the road. Yeah, that's right. This animal hasn't been in the south pastures for months. She's one of the animals I'm keeping up near the barn grooming for the stock show next month. Yeah, I know she is. You haven't let her get out accidentally, have you, Hank? Me? Well, I know Mister Fuller. You sure, Hank? Yes, sir. You said you wanted all animals you brought in off the range kept inside the wooden fences. You were the boss. I wouldn't let any of them near any barbed wire. It's mighty funny. Can't figure out no other way she could have hurt her leg like that. Me neither. They're pretty bad. Too deep. Yeah, it is I'll never be able to show her with a leg like this. Sure. Too bad, mister Fuller. She's a nice animal, too. One of the best. I was counting on her boosting my score at the show. Say, you don't suppose McCarg could have done it, do you? Mcharg? Sure. He's pretty hard hit for good show animals this year. Had to sell off quite a few to pay his mortgage and meet the taxes. I know, but McHarg's always been a good friend of mine. He wouldn't do a thing like that. Well, he might if he thought it. Might help him at stock show. Needs that prize money pretty bad. But McHarg's a stock raiser from way back. He couldn't hurt a prize animal if he had to. Funny thing what some men will do for money, mister Fuller. Look, Hank, I won't have you talking like that. Well, I was just saying that McHarg's a good friend of mine. I've done him several favors lately. He wouldn't repay me by injuring one of my animals. Well, all I know is she couldn't have cut her leg like that around the corral. Looks to me like it was done purposely. Here. Better clean out that cut and wrap it up. Yeah. Fetch me that disinfectant, some of those clean rags from the chest, Hank. Sure. Here's some right over here. Hmm? In the stole? Yeah. Here on this shelf. What are they doing here? I don't know. This bottle's always kept in the chest at the end of the barn. Marshen, have you been treating this animal? No. I. I mean, I didn't know she was hurt till you told me. Some other animal, then? No, of course not. Didn't you inspect them all tonight? Yeah, I did. This is the only cow that's hurt. What's this disinfectant in these clean rags doing here? Well, I. I just don't know. Mister Fuller. I put that bottle away myself last week. I treated a horse. I haven't used it since. I haven't used it more than a month. I guess somebody did injure this animal, then tried to treat it here in its stall. Must have been frightened away before he could use the medicine. But who'd purposely cut its leg and then try to treat it? I don't know. No, neither guy. Wait a minute. Huh? What's this? Look. Look here. What? It's a short link of barbed wire with blood on it. By Ned, you're right. Was hidden under the straw. I just happened to pick it up with my foot must have been in that last load of straw we brought in. She must have laid down or cut her leg. Not that deep, Hank. There's been dirty work around here. Here, hold these rags. Fix up this leg. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Easy now, girl. Just take it easy. Better stand back, Hank. Excited when. Hank, what's the idea? Don't move, mister feller, that gun. Put it away, Hank. Not on your life. Lucky for me your foot didn't kick it up from the straw too. You. You did this. I don't deny it. Yes, I injured the animal. I hid the barbed wire beneath the straw in this gun too, to make it handy. Hank. And I put the disinfectant here in the stall so you'd work on the cut. And I'd have you right here where I want you, Hank. Why? Why? You mean you don't know? I certainly don't. Because you won't give Martha what she wants. Martha? Your wife misses Fuller. Give her what she wants. Divorce. Divorce? Ah, stop your pretending. Why, she's never asked me for a divorce. She has. A dozen times. What makes you think so? Call me. Told you. I told you to stop pretending. You know she wants to marry me. What? Don't act so amazed. I am amazed. I'm glad to know about this. You've known about it for a long time and I assure you that I haven't. It's no good acting that way, mister Fuller. You had a lot of fun, haven't you? Letting me go on like this. Working for you, for peanuts. Calling you mister, doing all your dirty work around the farm. You've been well paid. I've never asked you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself. Well, I'm putting an end to all of it right now. Hank, give me that gun. Not on your life. You can't shoot me in Koblt. They'll get you, not me. They'll never know when they find me with a bullet in me. Hank, they'll never find a bullet in you. They'll never bother to look for one. Don't you remember this cow? Take a good look at her. You remember last fall when Macquarie's shotgun accidentally went off near her? How she almost trampled him to death? Hank, no one shot, fella. Through your heart. By the time that animal's hoofs have done their work. No, Marsh, no. They'll never recognize you when they. You can't do that. They'll never bother to look for a bullet. Listen to me, Hank. They'll think your gun went off accidentally and the animal will trample you to death. Give me that gun, Hank, and the farm will be Martha's. Mine. Give it to me, Hank. Eat back. Give it to me. Heat back, I say. Take this. Help me. My eyes. You blinded me. Take it easy, you yellow pup. Your eyes will be all right. Water. Get me some water. My eyes are stinging. They'll be all right. Come on with me. I can't see. Here. This way. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna take you to the well and bathe your eyes. You're not gonna kill me? Careful. Here's the barn door. I didn't know what I was doing. Mister Fuller. Easy now. I, I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to kill you. You only missed killing me by a hair's breadth. Oh, I was out of my head. Oh, my eyes. We'll talk about that later. Where are we? Where are you taking me? Over to the well. Mister Fuller. What in the name of heaven are you gonna do to me? I'm gonna wash out your eyes. Come on now. Yes, water. Easy now. Oh, don't rub them. Keep your hands away from your filthy face. But I can't stand this pain. You'll be all right in a minute. I can't stand it, I tell you, I can't stand it. Marsh. Let go of me. You're taking me off to leave me someplace to die. Stop it. Stop it now. You're trying to kill me. No, I'm not trying to kill you. You are. I know you are. Don't be a fool. I'm blind. Sure. This is your chance. Chance to get rid of me. Well, you're not going to do it. Hank, for the love of heaven, listen to me. No, I'm only taking you to the well. Throw me in, huh? You want to throw me in? I want to wash out those eyes. Oh, you don't care about me. All you want is a chance to do away with me. No, you rat. I'm only trying to help you. Let go my arm. Let go my arm. No, you're staying with me. I won't do it. I won't be led like an animal to the slaughter. Let go of me. Stop it. Let go my arm. We're almost to the well now. Oh, oh, oh, I I. Water will fix em up. I'm not going near that well. That disinfectant will burn those eye tissues if you don't get it washed out of them. I won't. You're gonna throw me in. I won't go near that well, Hank. I don't. I won't go near it. I won't go near it. You hear it? No. Oh. Oh. I node. Get up on your feet, come over to the well and get your eyes washed out. Oh. Now, keep your head. Oh, my eyes. Here. Now, bend over this water trough. Come on. Bend lower, mister fella. Come on. Now. Get plenty of this cold water into your eyes. That's like it. A little more here. It was this cloth soaked with water. Yeah, all right. Yeah. Lucky that was just a mild disinfectant. Won't bother you any. I'll put that up to your eyes. That's it. Can you open your eyes? I don't know. Well, try. Yeah. Feel better? Uh huh. Burns easy enough. Yeah. Let's see em. Yeah, I just inflamed a little. That'll be all right. I go into the house and bathe them in warm water. Now, you. You didn't have to help me. Skip it. Come on. Wait a minute. What's that noise? The New York plane. What's she so low for? I don't know. She's too low. What's wrong with her? Good Lord, she's on fire. On fire? Yes, a mass of flames. Motherhood. Falling. Falling. Falling. [00:16:49] Speaker F: Falling, David. [00:16:50] Speaker E: Falling, Stephen, falling. [00:16:52] Speaker F: Wake up. [00:16:53] Speaker E: Falling. She exploded in midair. Now she's falling. [00:16:55] Speaker F: Stephen. [00:16:57] Speaker E: Huh? Micah. [00:17:02] Speaker F: Heaven. Steven, you've been having a nightmare. [00:17:05] Speaker E: A bit of sleep. [00:17:06] Speaker F: You were screaming at the top of your lungs about something falling. [00:17:10] Speaker E: The plane. [00:17:10] Speaker F: Plane? [00:17:11] Speaker E: The night plane to New York. [00:17:13] Speaker F: What about it? [00:17:13] Speaker E: She was low, too low. She was in flames. Exploded in midair. [00:17:17] Speaker F: Oh, you were dreaming. The plane did go over just as you began to scream in your sleep. [00:17:22] Speaker E: Oh, let's see. The clock. Yes, she goes over at the same time each night. [00:17:29] Speaker F: And she was extra low tonight. The motors were awfully loud. Close, yes, but there was no explosion. [00:17:36] Speaker E: A dream yet so real. [00:17:39] Speaker F: Oh, you better go back to sleep, dear. [00:17:41] Speaker E: But that wasn't all of the dream. [00:17:43] Speaker F: Oh, you can tell me all about it in the morning, dear. [00:17:46] Speaker E: That wasn't all. [00:17:47] Speaker F: Stephen, where are you going? [00:17:49] Speaker E: The Hanks room. Why? Oh. Where's that other slipper? Here. [00:17:53] Speaker F: Stephen. What's wrong, dear? [00:17:55] Speaker E: That's what I want to know. [00:17:58] Speaker F: Stephen. [00:18:04] Speaker E: Hank. Hank, open up. Hank. He's not in here. The bed's not slept in. [00:18:15] Speaker F: Stephen, what in the world's wrong with you? [00:18:16] Speaker E: Hank's gone. [00:18:17] Speaker F: Gone? He hasn't been in his bed? [00:18:21] Speaker E: No. Did he tell you he was going anyplace? [00:18:24] Speaker F: No. [00:18:26] Speaker E: That dream, it couldn't be true. [00:18:30] Speaker F: Was it. Was it about him? [00:18:34] Speaker E: Yeah, about him. We were together in the ply stock barn, letting down the animals. One of the prize cows had cut a leg. We couldn't understand it because she hadn't been near any of the pastures with barbed wire. I was bringing hank up here to bathe his eyes just as the plane was flying over. She was too low, and she caught fire. There was that awful explosion. [00:19:08] Speaker F: Oh, but it was all a dream. [00:19:10] Speaker E: Come on, we'll see. Stephen, I'm going out to the barn. Come along if you wish. Something tells me that it was more than just a dream. [00:19:31] Speaker F: Stephen, this is so foolish. I tell you, it was just a dream. [00:19:35] Speaker E: Here, do you hold this lantern? [00:19:38] Speaker F: Oh, but you need your sleep, dear. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Get this door. [00:19:43] Speaker E: I'll take it now. [00:19:44] Speaker F: All right, come on. [00:19:53] Speaker E: Here's the stall. You bring the flashlight. [00:19:55] Speaker F: Here. [00:19:56] Speaker E: Here, take the lantern. Tom. Found it. What's wrong? The battery burned out. Oh, there. Martha. Look, Devon, they're on her leg. A deep cut. [00:20:08] Speaker F: Fresh cut. It needs attention, Martha. [00:20:12] Speaker E: It's identical to the injury in my dream. [00:20:14] Speaker F: Oh, Steven, surely it is Martha. Oh, she just cut herself yesterday. And you didn't know? [00:20:18] Speaker E: Oh, I always examine the prize stock in their stalls every night. Martha, this animal was in perfect condition when we went to bed. [00:20:28] Speaker F: Oh, it's tv. [00:20:28] Speaker E: Wait a minute. [00:20:30] Speaker F: What in the world are you doing? [00:20:31] Speaker E: I'm looking through this stall. But by heavens, look. [00:20:36] Speaker F: A short length of barbed wire. [00:20:39] Speaker E: Bloody barbed wire, Stephen, just like the dream. The very same. There should be something else. Yes. Here, look. A gun hidden here in the straw. Here, where he put it. [00:21:03] Speaker F: Who? [00:21:03] Speaker E: Hank Marsh, of course. Who else? [00:21:05] Speaker F: Oh, no, Stephen. [00:21:06] Speaker E: Yes, and look. There on the top of the feed box, the bottle of disinfectant, some clean rags. Oh, but, Steven, just like the dream. Every bit of it is just like a dream. [00:21:18] Speaker F: But you couldn't have dreamed all that. [00:21:20] Speaker E: A hidden barbed wire, a cut on the cow's leg, the hidden gun, the medicine. All the same, in this car. She's the one that almost trampled McHarg to death last fall when his shotgun accidentally went off. [00:21:36] Speaker F: But surely you don't think Henry Marsh planned to kill you? [00:21:39] Speaker E: Yes, he planned it. Worked it out carefully, very carefully. But now his plan's no good because of that dream. [00:21:48] Speaker F: No, Stephen, he couldn't have. [00:21:50] Speaker E: Yes, and in my dream, I saw how it was all going to work out. I was shown how I could save myself by throwing the disinfectant into his eyes. [00:22:00] Speaker F: I tell you, there's some other explanation than a plane. [00:22:04] Speaker E: It did fly over low tonight, you said? Yes, and it must have caught on fire. It must have exploded. [00:22:09] Speaker F: But it couldn't have. I didn't hear a thing except the motors. [00:22:12] Speaker E: You heard me screaming about it in my dream. [00:22:14] Speaker F: Yes, but you. [00:22:15] Speaker E: Well, you must have been so intent upon what I was saying that you didn't hear the noise of the explosion. [00:22:19] Speaker F: Oh, no, that's impossible. [00:22:20] Speaker E: Was over south of the road. Here, give me that ladder. Stephen, you go back to the house. I'm going to look for that wreckage. [00:22:47] Speaker F: Stephen. [00:22:49] Speaker E: Not a sign of anything out there in the field. [00:22:52] Speaker F: I called the airport. They checked the plane. It passed over Sheldon some time ago. That's miles from here toward New York. [00:23:01] Speaker E: Safe? [00:23:02] Speaker F: Yes. [00:23:03] Speaker E: There couldn't be a mistake? [00:23:05] Speaker F: No. The plane that passed over here while you were dreaming is almost in New York now. [00:23:10] Speaker E: I can't understand it. All the rest of the dream was true. All but the part about the plane. [00:23:17] Speaker F: No, just a dream. [00:23:18] Speaker E: The other things. The injury to the cow, the wire, the gun. [00:23:22] Speaker F: Didn't you say you lost your gun several months ago? [00:23:24] Speaker E: Yes. Yes, I did. [00:23:25] Speaker F: You must have dropped it in the straw when you stored it in the barn. It and the wire were thrown into the cow's stall purely by accident. But the injury, Stephen, both of us know how easily and mysteriously cows can injure their legs. [00:23:39] Speaker E: And the disinfectant. [00:23:40] Speaker F: You simply left it in there in the stall and forgot about it. [00:23:44] Speaker E: No, I couldn't have. [00:23:50] Speaker F: Well, are you going to open it, Stephen? [00:23:55] Speaker E: It's unlocked. Come in, Hank. Holly. Holly. I'm glad you're up, Mister Fuller. [00:24:07] Speaker F: Henry. It's late. You. You haven't been in your bed tonight. [00:24:12] Speaker E: I forgot to tell you I was going to town. Now, Mister Fuller, that cow installed 13. She's cut her leg. [00:24:18] Speaker F: How do you. [00:24:19] Speaker E: Well, I just happened to look at it, looked in, found the barn door open and. Why? What's the matter, Mister Fuller? Say, why do you look at me like that, Stephen? You want me to come out to the barn, Hank? Why yes. Carl's leg's pretty bad. A barbed wire cut. You. You know about it? And isn't the wire lying beneath the straw of the stall right now? It's the fuller, huh? And isn't this the gun you hid under the straw? How'd you find out? [00:24:56] Speaker F: Oh, Steven. [00:24:57] Speaker E: So it is true. You plan to kill me. Plan for the Hannibal, to trample me and mutilate. No, no. Plan to marry Martha and get my father. [00:25:05] Speaker F: Stephen. [00:25:06] Speaker E: No, you're wrong. No, I'm not wrong. You planned it together. Only my dreams spoiled your plans. Well, now you can be together. [00:25:13] Speaker F: Stephen. [00:25:13] Speaker E: No. Put that gun down. Well, I'm going to send you. You can burn together. Seven for New York now leaving at gate two. [00:25:43] Speaker C: All passengers for New York, flight seven, all aboard at gate two. All aboard at gate two. [00:25:48] Speaker E: Flight seven, New York. All of. All clear. All right. [00:25:55] Speaker F: Shut the door. [00:26:06] Speaker E: Confound it. Five minutes late taking off. Why don't they get this thing into the air? I've been hiding all day. Waiting for darkness. Waiting here to take this plane to New York. New York. They won't find me there. No, they're not going to find me there. I've been waiting. Waiting. Good. Taking off? Yeah. I'll be in New York soon. [00:26:52] Speaker F: You can unfasten your safety belt now, mister. [00:26:55] Speaker E: Fuller. You know me? Yes. [00:26:58] Speaker F: We always have a list of all the passengers. [00:27:01] Speaker E: Let's see. [00:27:03] Speaker F: You're going to New York. [00:27:06] Speaker E: New York. Yes. Taking a little weekend trip. Just up and left the farm for a weekend. Decided I needed a vacation. [00:27:21] Speaker F: Vacations are good for a person. [00:27:23] Speaker E: Yeah. I decided I need a little rest. Oh, here I am. Funny thing. I dreamed about this plane last night. Yeah? She always passes over my farm about midnight. Dream. Last night. She was flying exceptionally low. Funny, too. Cause she generally gained quite a bit of altitude by the time she gets over my place. It was a queer dream. Thought I was standing out back at my house. And she went over just a little before the barn hops. And then she caught on fire and exploded. Exploded right there in midair. Right over my farm. I guess we all have funny dreams sometimes. This one was sure real. Look, there's my farm down there now. See? Had a red light put on my windmill so it could be seen at night. Look how close it seemed. [00:28:39] Speaker C: How close? [00:28:41] Speaker E: Too close. We're flying too low. I said we're flying too low. Look. Just above the barn tops. Just like the dream. Just like the dream. No, it can't be that. Look out the window. Flames. One of the motors on fire. One of the mortars on fire. We're flying too long. We're flying. Dark fantasy. You have heard the edge of the shadow. Tonight's original tale of dark fantasy by Scott Bishop. Originating in the studios of WkY, Ben Morris was heard as Stephen Fuller. Eleanor Coren was Martha Fuller. Muir Hite played Hank Marsh, and Georgiana Cooke was the stewardess. Next Friday at this time, listen to the 22nd in this series of dark fantasy adventures created for you by Scott Bishop. A weird and pulse pounding tale of terror Karare, which relates how an angered witch doctor of the Ecuador jungle brews a bitter, deadly poison to use against a strange and heartless enemy. This program came to you from Oklahoma City. This is the National Broadcasting Company. [00:30:08] Speaker B: You don't need to applaud that. That was the edge of the shadow from dark fantasy here on the mysterious old radio listening society podcast. Once again, I'm Eric. [00:30:19] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:30:20] Speaker A: I'm Joshua. [00:30:21] Speaker D: And I'm Shannon. [00:30:22] Speaker B: Our special guest, Shannon Custer, joins us again. Tim picked this episode so we can be very angry at him. [00:30:30] Speaker A: That was the worst episode of all. Creatures great and small I've ever seen. [00:30:37] Speaker B: So many. So if you've never heard dark fantasy, first of all, Scott Bishop writes like, it just goes off the rails. The story just goes off the rails. You have no idea where you end up at the end. How did we get here from here? And if you have heard it, you're probably expecting that tonight. Like, you're probably expecting that Scott Bishop esque. What we weren't expecting was a straightforward, horrifyingly boring, non Scott Bishop esque. I mean, I was at least excited about a Scott bishop off the rails craziness. Instead, we get, oh, you dreamed that. Okay, good for you. And also, listen, if the dream's coming real, don't get on the plane to New York. [00:31:29] Speaker A: Seems pretty obvious. That's scary. [00:31:31] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:32] Speaker B: Tim, tell me why you picked this out of all the dark fantasies you could have picked. [00:31:37] Speaker C: So I had, like, wouldn't it be fun to bring a dark fantasy episode to the BLB that we haven't done before? And like, yeah, everybody. Yeah, that'd be hilarious. And then, so I was trying to find an episode of dark fantasy that we hadn't done before that has that same sort of insane ten minutes in. They were just gonna throw the old story away and do something new and crazy. And apparently, Scott Bishop is not my dancing monkey, and he does not just generate these for me in the past. So I had the decision, like, oh, I have to pick one that doesn't do that. And so this one, I will. I will bristle a bit. This one does do what I like about Scott Bishop's writing, which is he. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Turns a ten minute script into a 25 minutes one. [00:32:22] Speaker D: Just wash your eyes. Wash them. Seven pages later. No, wash them. [00:32:30] Speaker C: That it stumbles around like a sleepwalker, which is exactly like, that is for Scott Bishop future, not a bug. This story is. It starts out okay. There's details, and these don't matter. [00:32:43] Speaker B: Okay? [00:32:43] Speaker C: Something else is happening. These details don't really matter, but every. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Line is delivered with just this. It's just redolent with non existent meaning. Right, Ed? [00:32:54] Speaker C: Repeated four times. [00:32:56] Speaker D: Yeah. I do feel like I have to write an essay about it. Like, it's like one of those short stories in the Norton anthology you had to read in English, and you're like, damn it, there's something in here that I gotta go back and find. [00:33:08] Speaker B: Wait, there's layers that I don't quite understand. [00:33:12] Speaker A: The first layer I would like to talk about is that this is a story in which a man frames a cow for murder. [00:33:21] Speaker D: He does. [00:33:22] Speaker A: I just wanna let that sink in for a second. [00:33:25] Speaker D: I never thought of that. [00:33:27] Speaker C: I'm selling it short for it's. [00:33:29] Speaker D: He did a test drive, too. He's like, remember how it freaked out? [00:33:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:33] Speaker A: It's one of those rare cows that reacts negatively to gunshots. Those hard boiled city cows who are blase about gun violence. [00:33:45] Speaker D: Move on. I'm so bored. Yeah, you're right. [00:33:50] Speaker B: I didn't do it. No. Setting me up. [00:33:53] Speaker A: I was trying to look for those layers. Like, wow, I wonder, can I somehow contextualize this within the, the greater literary history of farm animal murder mysteries? Nope. [00:34:08] Speaker B: No. [00:34:08] Speaker A: A disappearance of silver blaze, a classic Sherlock Holmes story in spoiler alert, the horse did it. Oh, so way better story. [00:34:19] Speaker D: Horses are more likely to be. No, you need to leave. Bye bye. [00:34:27] Speaker C: My single complaint with this episode. [00:34:30] Speaker A: Oh. [00:34:32] Speaker C: One is he does not stick the landing. [00:34:36] Speaker A: Oh, he crashes the landing. [00:34:38] Speaker C: The literal plane crash was like, ah, it was going so well. And then just sort of this very easy to predict plane crash. Well. [00:34:45] Speaker D: And it's so it struck me when I was listening to it this time that the stewardess, that's what she would have been at that time. She was like, let me check. Yes, you're going to New York. And where is she going? Do you know what I mean? Like, she checks his name and then she's like, let me see where you're going. Which, I mean, I know we can have connecting, but it just sounded really suspicious to me. [00:35:10] Speaker B: Right. Hey, I'm going to New York too. There is a really subtle piece of really clunky dialogue just to be really nitpicky. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Subtly clunky. [00:35:24] Speaker B: Okay. There's a moment where he says, you know, it's about Martha. And he responds, Martha. Now, the response Martha is, what do you mean? My wife? Right? What did Martha have to do with this? That's what it means. [00:35:38] Speaker C: But he says that Clark and Bruce's mother. [00:35:41] Speaker B: Right, right. But he says, martha. And he responds, Martha, your wife misses Houston or whatever his last name is like, he explains. Yeah, I know. I'm not saying I don't know who Martha is. It struck me as just terrible writing. [00:35:57] Speaker D: And the cow's like, God, right? [00:35:59] Speaker B: He knows I hate these guys. What Martha? You're talking about. Why Martha? [00:36:07] Speaker A: I'm really interested in the cow because I think somewhere buried in this nonsense is a really great far side comic, right? Looks like a single panel, right, where they're plotting the murder. And the cow is just like. [00:36:21] Speaker C: I mean, it might have just been, like, quietly out of, like, the cow is just quite like, put them in the well. Throw them in the well. [00:36:29] Speaker A: Just throw them in the well. [00:36:30] Speaker B: Throw them in the well. [00:36:31] Speaker A: They're trying to murder each other. In the distance, the cow and Martha are running away, right? [00:36:40] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:36:41] Speaker B: Shannon's right, though. God. That was a never ending scene of cleaning the guys, and he wouldn't do it. [00:36:47] Speaker D: He's like, you're not gonna get me. And he's like, I'm not going to just put water on your eyes. No, I'm telling you, this is it. I'm not going. We're going. You're gonna put water. And it never happens. [00:36:58] Speaker A: I always have that push pull where, like, the literary critic part of me is like, that's awful. And then the lazy writer in me is like, awesome. And you padded that out. [00:37:08] Speaker B: Well, sir, if it would have just been 25, 30 minutes of him trying. Of him trying to get him to wash his eyes out, I would have said, bravo, Tim. You have brought an unbelievable Scott bishop example of nonsense. [00:37:24] Speaker A: Truly avant garde radio. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Truly Scott Bishop, off the rails crazy. If the cow would have talked, if there would have been some kind of space gulf, I don't think I expected. [00:37:36] Speaker A: Them to, like, look up and see a cobweb that said some cow and just kind of go right into it. [00:37:43] Speaker D: That would have been magical, that. Yeah, that would have been good. [00:37:47] Speaker C: You know, the thing that made the eye cleaning scene great? The fact that there is no doubt that he's just here to clean his eyes. Like I said, I know the performance. It's clear as day. There's no chance that I'm actually gonna throw you in this well. [00:38:01] Speaker A: I'm gonna wash your eyes. No. Stop building tension for nothing. I'm going to wash your eyes. [00:38:06] Speaker B: It's from Gloucester. Gloucester from King Lear. [00:38:09] Speaker D: And then he even keeps going. He says, now we're gonna go in the house and use warm water. And I'm like. And I kept thinking that was probably four pages, that Scott was like, I'll cut that part. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Scott Bishop later actually started OSHA later in his career. [00:38:26] Speaker D: I wash stations by Scott Bishop. Yeah. [00:38:30] Speaker B: He does say to him, like, you gotta wash that out quick. And then later, he doesn't. I'm paraphrasing. Don't be a baby. It's a mild irritant. [00:38:38] Speaker D: But it's also, he's like, then your tissues are gonna beaten by this. And I kept thinking he'd be blind by then after saying no so many times. [00:38:47] Speaker B: And maybe, maybe, just maybe, that could have been a direction the story could have gone. [00:38:53] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:38:54] Speaker B: Any kind of story. And again, don't get on the plane to New York. Everything in the dreams come true. I'm just going to test this. Take that dream. Let's see. [00:39:08] Speaker A: There's a lot of dark comedy, though, in him slowly, nervously talking on the plane and slowly realizing what we all realize right now. They just needed one more twist, like, for him to wake up out of another dream, and he's in bed with Hank. Or there's some, like. [00:39:27] Speaker B: Or Suzanne pluset. [00:39:28] Speaker A: Suzanne Plachette. Yes. [00:39:32] Speaker C: The plane is going down. It just collides into the cow. [00:39:37] Speaker E: Okay. [00:39:38] Speaker B: That's actually a great idea. I would. Bravo, Tim. Thanks for bringing it. The plane crashed into the cow, which. [00:39:47] Speaker C: Was startled, and I was head stomped on. [00:39:49] Speaker A: It would be terrible on the entire plane until you couldn't recognize it. [00:39:54] Speaker B: No. [00:39:55] Speaker A: Can we back up to the title of this episode? [00:39:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:59] Speaker A: This is another Scott bishop thing where he will have the vaguest title possible. And it's kind of exciting. Like this. The edge of the shadow, which has this Lovecraftian feel to it. [00:40:10] Speaker B: Also a good soap opera. [00:40:12] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:40:14] Speaker A: Well, I know that Tim's a big Lovecraft fan, so when I get this sent to me, I'm like, ooh, what is this? And then, you know, I start, and immediately it's, like, so many better titles for this. Like, even, like, a great image, actually, one great image from this entire thing. And it could have been. The title is a red light on the windmill. That would be really mysterious, and it would come up. It would also be, like the edge of non sequitur. [00:40:42] Speaker B: Right. [00:40:43] Speaker A: The edge of professionalism. The edge of my patience. [00:40:49] Speaker D: Martha's long night of no sleep cow. [00:40:53] Speaker B: Jumped over the plane. [00:40:54] Speaker D: Aw. [00:40:56] Speaker C: I also love that when talking to his wife and like, hey, I had a. A portentous dream in which you were gonna betray me. Okay. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Right? [00:41:06] Speaker A: Yeah. How did Martha hide this for so long? Cause she's a really bad actor. [00:41:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Right. [00:41:13] Speaker D: And Hank lives in the house, dad. [00:41:16] Speaker B: Yeah, that's really weird. [00:41:17] Speaker A: Like, I had this dream I wasn't having sex with Hank, was I? [00:41:22] Speaker D: I like to imagine that she was actually coming back from his room when he woke up. You know, like in mid freeze. [00:41:32] Speaker B: Speaking of. [00:41:33] Speaker A: He's like, I was sleeping, and I heard this mooing sound. [00:41:36] Speaker D: I don't know what's happening. [00:41:39] Speaker B: Speaking of unnecessary fill, even toward the end is the horses in the barn, so to speak, like, we're heading toward the end of this thing. Cows in the barn. And, you know, going out to the barn. Got a lantern? Got a flashlight. Give me the flashlight. Flashlight doesn't work. Okay, it works. Why are we taking a minute? [00:42:00] Speaker D: I know. [00:42:00] Speaker B: To write in that the flashlight didn't. [00:42:02] Speaker D: Work for half a second. This naturalism that he'll, you know. [00:42:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:42:07] Speaker A: But he always tries to get, like, suspense from these things that are not suspenseful. For example, the disinfectant. [00:42:14] Speaker B: Right. [00:42:14] Speaker A: He's like, wait, I keep that disinfectant in a chest on the other end of the barn. [00:42:20] Speaker B: And the keyboard guy's right with him. [00:42:23] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:42:23] Speaker A: At the same time, like, what if that was your threshold for suspense? How exciting would your life be? [00:42:30] Speaker D: My life would be a nightmare. [00:42:32] Speaker A: It would be. This oregano belongs in the spice rack, yet it is here by the stove. Somebody's been cooking in my house. [00:42:38] Speaker D: Just my glasses. Alone. I'd have to kill myself. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Watch this. [00:42:42] Speaker C: That's when I would trample people near me. [00:42:45] Speaker B: I mean, watch this. Shannon, where's your phone right now? She has no idea. [00:42:50] Speaker D: I don't even know. [00:42:51] Speaker B: She does not know. Yeah. It would be a nightmare for you. Where's my stuff? [00:42:57] Speaker D: But this one, this dark fantasy, now, you would all know this. This one is very, very unknown. Right? [00:43:06] Speaker B: Like this episode or all of the. [00:43:08] Speaker D: Dark fantasies are kind of unknown. [00:43:09] Speaker C: They're all kind of unknown. [00:43:10] Speaker D: Okay. Because this one was. [00:43:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:12] Speaker D: There's other ones that pop up when you do, right? A little. [00:43:16] Speaker A: People tend to forget them as a defense mechanism. Yeah. [00:43:20] Speaker B: How many are there that out there, Tim? I've never stopped to ask. [00:43:24] Speaker D: Because it was a lot, right? That it ran. [00:43:27] Speaker A: It feels like too many. [00:43:28] Speaker C: I think it's two dozen under dozens. [00:43:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:31] Speaker A: Like 24, 26 somewhere like that. Yeah. [00:43:33] Speaker B: Okay. [00:43:34] Speaker D: Okay. [00:43:35] Speaker C: It's funny because I was listening to several of them in a row to try to pick the perfect one, which I think I nailed it. [00:43:44] Speaker B: In a certain sense. You did. [00:43:46] Speaker C: But at what point? To go, nah, not this one. I'm like, why? Why would I discard that one and keep this one? [00:43:52] Speaker D: Right, right. [00:43:53] Speaker B: But did any of the other ones go off the rails in that Scott Bishop fashion that we're used to. [00:43:58] Speaker C: I couldn't find that great abrupt left turn. There's just this one that, like, its alignment was off. So just gradually sliding out of its lane. [00:44:07] Speaker B: Right, right. Its alignment was off. [00:44:12] Speaker A: I will say that the cow is really good. And I was. [00:44:16] Speaker D: He was so good. [00:44:18] Speaker A: I was wondering if, like, the traffic guy they roped into doing sound effects just did a great cow impression. That makes him sound like a bovine, rich little. I don't know if that's a cow impression, but, you know, celebrity cows. [00:44:33] Speaker B: Just one of them cans you turn upside down. [00:44:36] Speaker D: But I realized, too, he had a cut. And I don't think anyone ever, ever fixed it. [00:44:43] Speaker A: No? Nope. Many people suggested that they should. Martha tries to write it off. You know, how easily and mysteriously cows. [00:44:51] Speaker B: Get on their legs trying to escape. [00:44:56] Speaker D: Can you help me? [00:44:57] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:44:57] Speaker D: No one helped the cow. Yeah. That's too bad. [00:45:02] Speaker B: There's also very little sound effect, very little production value to this. [00:45:06] Speaker D: There's some crickets. [00:45:08] Speaker A: Well, that was just the audience listening. There's some tumbleweeds and some crickets, some snoring night sounds. [00:45:16] Speaker D: And they'll be back. [00:45:18] Speaker A: Just all those awkward sound effects. A distant cough. [00:45:25] Speaker B: There's nothing much more to say about this. [00:45:27] Speaker A: I do have one question. [00:45:28] Speaker B: Of course you do. [00:45:29] Speaker A: I wonder if this is his first dream of the future. Like, does he have this power? He didn't mention that. Or if. [00:45:36] Speaker B: See, again, that would have been a great story, too. [00:45:38] Speaker A: Or is he just restricted to bovine related future events? I mean, it might have been like a cow. Sondra. [00:45:48] Speaker B: You wrote that two days ago, and you have been waiting. [00:45:52] Speaker D: That's tough. [00:45:53] Speaker C: I mean, the timeline he was on, his option was to just sleep on the plane and dream of crashing in the plane over and over again. [00:45:59] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:46:04] Speaker C: I saved it from the Khal Sandra thing. [00:46:06] Speaker D: That would be sad. Well, yeah. [00:46:08] Speaker B: What if I would take that, though, you know, if he woke up and he just. [00:46:11] Speaker D: If he survives the plane crash, it. [00:46:12] Speaker B: Would be more interesting story than what that was. [00:46:16] Speaker C: Or maybe, like, the cow grabs him with the parachute all of a sudden and jumps out again. [00:46:22] Speaker B: It's a far side cartoon. [00:46:24] Speaker D: You're right. You're right. [00:46:26] Speaker A: A really great sequel to Charlotte's Web, like I said. [00:46:29] Speaker B: Well, should we send this? [00:46:29] Speaker A: Templeton is just bleeding the farm animals, feasting on them, chupacabra style. [00:46:37] Speaker B: Should we send this to a vote? [00:46:38] Speaker A: Sure. Yes. [00:46:39] Speaker B: Oh, I was very excited. See, I hate Scott Bishop and all of it. And we've heard two or three of them on our podcast and I was like, what is happening now? It got to the point where I was like, yay, something crazy is going to happen. So I was real. So I was really excited for what wacky, weird things gonna happen. And then nothing happened. Nothing. [00:47:04] Speaker D: How do you feel about it though, Eric? [00:47:06] Speaker B: I truly hated this more than any other Scott Bishop. I hate. I'm so mad at it. [00:47:11] Speaker D: I thought you were gonna say of everything. [00:47:13] Speaker B: I hate it a lot. [00:47:15] Speaker C: Would you like to listen to a worse one? [00:47:17] Speaker E: Yes. [00:47:19] Speaker A: It's a date. [00:47:22] Speaker B: But you know what I mean, though. Like, I was waiting for the crazy audrails. [00:47:26] Speaker A: There's an exciting moment when that plane crashed because in that moment you're like, what? Yeah, we just had twelve minutes set up for this plane crash. So when you do with the plot. [00:47:36] Speaker B: When that happened, when they were going through the cow, whatever trying to take. [00:47:42] Speaker D: He looked at me during that moment 101. [00:47:45] Speaker A: We all look to our wives for cow terminology. [00:47:49] Speaker B: See, then they'll send out of the blue, the plane's coming. [00:47:53] Speaker E: Boom. [00:47:53] Speaker B: And I went, here we go, Bishop ahoy. Here we go. We're going right into alien. We're going to Mars. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Now something crazy wakes up and recaps what we just heard for another twelve minutes. [00:48:05] Speaker E: Right? [00:48:06] Speaker B: So does not stand any test of time. Doesn't. I hate it. [00:48:12] Speaker D: This is real. [00:48:13] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:48:14] Speaker B: I don't like it. Well, Tim doesn't like it either, do you? [00:48:19] Speaker C: I will not call this a classic. I will not say this stance the test of time. This is a hot mess. That being said, I love it. Specifically this idea because I fall for it every time. Like, ooh, cow story. This is not like anything you've heard before. Cow story. Oh, sudden twists, betrayed husband being love triangle cow, unrelated cow is murder weapon. Oh, this is. Oh, elaborately long eye cleansing scene. I didn't see this coming. This was plane crash. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Neither did he. [00:48:55] Speaker C: I have no idea what I am listening to, which that's a great feeling for me. [00:49:00] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:49:01] Speaker A: This is not a great episode of old Time radio, but I'm going to argue that it does stand the test of time in that it is as incoherent today as it was in 1942. I think that's fair to say, but it's not incoherent. [00:49:18] Speaker B: It's straightforward. He dreamed it had happened. [00:49:23] Speaker A: This guy's murder plot is to cut a cow's leg with barbed wire, hide it in the hay with a gun, then point it out to farmer Bob or whoever he was, distract him with out of place disinfectant and then search the straw, the cow pie filled straw for his gun and then shoot him. That is. [00:49:46] Speaker E: It's. [00:49:47] Speaker A: It's incoherent. [00:49:48] Speaker D: And that's how much he loved Martha. [00:49:50] Speaker A: Oh. You know, we just needed a woman's perspective. [00:49:55] Speaker B: It's a solid point. He could have just shot him. [00:49:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:58] Speaker C: Cow should have got the gun. [00:49:59] Speaker D: Solid point. Yes. [00:50:00] Speaker B: Yeah, you just. If he's gonna shoot him, just shoot him. Right? [00:50:04] Speaker D: I don't vote, do I? [00:50:05] Speaker B: Yeah, sure. [00:50:06] Speaker A: Women have been. That is the most for a while. [00:50:09] Speaker D: Shannon, that's the most 2024 thing I could have ever said. [00:50:17] Speaker A: It's the one thing you still can do. [00:50:21] Speaker C: Just let Eric tell you how you're gonna vote. [00:50:23] Speaker D: But what am I voting exactly? But what do I. What am I voting? What do I. [00:50:29] Speaker B: Do you like it? [00:50:31] Speaker D: I do. I like it. [00:50:33] Speaker B: Is it a classic? [00:50:34] Speaker D: Oh, is it a classic? Well, it's very old. [00:50:39] Speaker B: Does it stand the test of time? [00:50:42] Speaker D: Yeah, sure. [00:50:46] Speaker B: Would you recommend it to other people? [00:50:48] Speaker D: No, I wouldn't. [00:50:50] Speaker A: Would you advertise and invite an audience to see it? [00:50:55] Speaker D: Apparently, yes. [00:50:57] Speaker A: But like an actual individual close friend. [00:51:00] Speaker D: I'll do anything to just have something to do on Sundays. It's such a stressful night because everything starts tomorrow. I hate Sunday nights. So thank you. [00:51:12] Speaker B: Let's find out what our audience thought. How many of you out there thought this was a classic of old time radio? How many of you, how many of you thought, this stands the test of time? How many of you would recommend this to somebody else? [00:51:34] Speaker A: Yay. Here we go. [00:51:36] Speaker B: How many people hated it? [00:51:41] Speaker A: How many people would like their money back but aren't getting it? [00:51:47] Speaker B: Well, there you have it, Tim. Thank you so much. At least now I know Scott Bishop has the ability to write something somewhat linear. I did not know that ahead of time. So for that, I thank you. [00:52:02] Speaker C: You're welcome. [00:52:03] Speaker B: Tim, tell him stuff. [00:52:04] Speaker C: Please go visit ghoulishdelights.com if you have an opportunity to do so. You'll find other episodes of our podcast there. You can leave comments. You can vote in polls. You can visit our social media pages via links we have there. You can shop at our merch store. You can also find a link to our Patreon page. [00:52:22] Speaker A: Yes, you can go to patreon.com themorals and support this podcast financially, not just emotionally, but with your money. And one of the perks you might get by doing that is to see a filmed version of what we're about to do next, and that is play an old time radio game show. So our live audience is gonna participate in that. But you losers listening out there who haven't given us any money aren't gonna see or hear any of it. So cough up. Thank you. [00:52:52] Speaker B: And if you'd like to see the mysterious old radio listening society theater company performing live, in addition to sometimes recording our podcast live, we also do live on stage recreations of classic old time radio shows and a lot of our own original work. We are performing somewhere monthly. For eight years now, we have been on stage something somewhere. If you want to find out what radio shows we're performing each month, where and how to get tickets and all of that, just go to ghoulishdelights.com and there you will see all of that information. All right, what's coming up next? [00:53:29] Speaker A: August. Heat from suspense. Until then, look out. [00:53:36] Speaker C: Okay, easy, Dracula. Thank you. [00:53:42] Speaker A: Maybe we should have some volunteers host this game show. [00:53:45] Speaker C: Tim, you gotta lose some points. Easy, Dracula. Bela Lugosi only appeared in one episode of suspense, broadcast in February of 1943. The title of this episode was the doctor prescribed what? [00:54:00] Speaker A: Death. [00:54:01] Speaker C: That is correct. That is seven points. [00:54:05] Speaker B: I remember it. I just didn't know what it was named. [00:54:08] Speaker D: Wow, this feels like that time during Christmas when someone's like, let's play a game, and everybody's a little hungover, and they're like, wow, do you know that? [00:54:21] Speaker E: We're gonna play this game and have a merry Christmas. [00:54:24] Speaker C: Hey, it's back to you for choosing another category and difficulty level. [00:54:28] Speaker A: Bigtown. Very easy. [00:54:29] Speaker C: Big town. Very easy. Please correctly say the name of the radio series. Big town. Yes. [00:54:35] Speaker B: Big town. [00:54:36] Speaker C: That is correct. That is three points. [00:54:42] Speaker B: Big town. [00:54:45] Speaker C: That was very easy. [00:54:47] Speaker B: That's a podcast joke right there inside the.