Episode 320: The Old Ones are Hard to Kill

[00:00:27] Speaker A: Welcome to the mysterious old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the golden age of Radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:36] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:00:36] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:37] Speaker B: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:42] Speaker C: In honor of the first month of the new year, we present the first in a trilogy of debut episodes from classic radio programs, beginning with a recommendation from our mysterious listener, Glenn. [00:00:55] Speaker A: Glenn requested that we mark the 50th anniversary of CBS Radio Mystery Theater with a discussion of the first of the program's 1399 episodes, the Old Ones are hard to kill. Starring the legendary Agnes Morehead, CBS Radio. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Mystery Theater was broadcast on CBS radio affiliates from 1974 to 1982. Created by Golden Age radio producer Hyman Brown, the series was part of a larger effort to reinvigorate the lost art of radio drama. In addition to CBS Radio Mystery Theater, the network launched the General Mills Radio Adventure Theater in 1977, also produced by Hyman Brown and Sears Radio Theater in 1979. Other similar attempts to revive the medium include NPR's earplay and Rod Sterling's syndicated series the Zero Hour. [00:01:42] Speaker C: Actor E. G. Marshall served as the host for most of the program's eight year run. Unlike Inner Sanctum's Raymond, the host from Hyman Brown's other famous radio series, Marshall was never self consciously artificial or over the top. His gentle, grandfatherly demeanor eased listeners into the dark world of the story, creating an appealing incongruity between teller and story. Marshall left CBS Radio Mystery Theater February 1, 982, shortly before the program came to an end. Tammy Grimes took over host duties for the remainder of the run. [00:02:18] Speaker A: Agnes Morehead, the star of CBS RMT's first episode, is best remembered as Andora, Samantha's haughty mother from the 1964 television series Bewitched, but her career began in 1937 when she became a principal player in Orson Wells Stage Company, the Mercury Theater. During that same time, Morehead made frequent appearances on radio, including Wells CBS series the Mercury Theater on the Air and the crime drama the Shadow, playing Margot Lane opposite Wells Lamont Cranston. [00:02:49] Speaker B: When Orson Wells directed his first feature film, Citizen Cain, he cast Morehead as Mary Kane, Charles Foster Cain's mother. It was a small role, but Morehead impressed him enough to snag a meteor role in Wells 1942 film the Magnificent Amberson's. Her performance as the high strung Spencer Fanny minifur earned her an Academy Award nomination and the attention of suspense director William Spear, who cast her as the neurotic Mrs. Albert Stevenson in sorry, wrong number. Forever linking Morehead to the classic play and earning her the title First lady of Suspense. [00:03:20] Speaker C: In his email, Glenn pointed out one aspect of CBS Radio mystery theater that we often forget to acknowledge, particularly in our critiques of the program's frequently padded scripts and minimalist sound effects. CBS Radio Mystery Theater was initially broadcast Monday through Friday with a new episode each night. That's five unique 45 minutes productions per week. With that in mind, it's easy to understand why the programs often relied on familiar tropes and modest production values. [00:03:52] Speaker A: And now let's listen to the old ones are hard to kill from CBS Radio Mystery Theater, starring Agnes Moorhead. First broadcast January 6, 1974. [00:04:04] Speaker B: It's late at night, and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:04:17] Speaker D: The CBS Radio mystery Theater presents come in. Welcome. I am E. G. Marshall. Welcome to the sound of suspense. Welcome to the fear you can hear, but mostly to the world of terrifying imagination. In the story you are about to hear, the heroine is a young woman of 77 who has reached her golden years with her sense of independence intact, with a spryness to her limbs, very good vision and excellent hearing. But as you are about to learn, there are times when hearing well is not a blessing. [00:05:20] Speaker E: I did it. Mrs. Camby, are you listening to me? I killed Richardson. I did it. [00:05:30] Speaker F: No, I don't want to hear it. Mr. Paulson, please. Please don't tell me about it. Please. [00:05:45] Speaker D: Our mystery drama, the old ones are hard to kill, was written especially for the mystery Theater by Henry Slesser and stars Agnes Moorhead. It is sponsored in part by Anheuser Busch, Inc. Brewers of Budweiser, and by the Kellogg company, makers of Kellogg's special K Cereal. I'll return shortly with act one. And now here's act one of the old ones are hard to kill. It begins with a stethoscope, a blood pressure reading, an electrocardiogram, and an altogether satisfying report on the health of Mrs. Ada Canby. [00:06:39] Speaker G: Hmm. [00:06:40] Speaker H: Well, can't see a thing to complain about, Ada. That little congestion you had last time is all cleared up. All in all, I'd say you're doing. [00:06:48] Speaker F: Fine for a woman my age. [00:06:49] Speaker H: You mean, the older the chicken, the tougher it is to kill? That's what my grandmother used to tell me, and she lived to be 98. Speaking of relatives, you see much of Walter, my grandson? [00:07:04] Speaker F: Oh, the usual once a year visit. And he always comes up with the same complaint. [00:07:09] Speaker H: What's that? [00:07:10] Speaker F: I shouldn't be living all alone. [00:07:13] Speaker H: That big house of yours must get pretty lonely sometimes. [00:07:16] Speaker F: Well, the truth is, Dr. George, I'm not alone there. [00:07:20] Speaker H: You're not? [00:07:21] Speaker F: I decided to take you in the border last month. [00:07:24] Speaker H: Really? [00:07:25] Speaker F: I haven't written Walter about it. I'm sure he'd object to my taking in a stranger. But there's really nothing wrong with Mr. Paulson. Except his health, maybe. [00:07:35] Speaker H: His health? What's wrong with him? [00:07:38] Speaker F: Oh, the poor man's had a terrible cold for the past two weeks. Won't let me do a thing for him, though. [00:07:44] Speaker H: Now, where did you meet this Mr. Paulson? [00:07:47] Speaker F: He answered the ad I ran. He was just back from South America. Been living in Brazil for years. He's a very nice gentleman, really. He keeps himself and tends his birds. He has the loveliest blue parakeets. You can hear them chirping all over the house. It's the friendliest song. [00:08:08] Speaker H: Well, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing, Ada. Just make sure you don't go and catch the man's cold. [00:08:16] Speaker F: There's not much chance of that. Poor man hardly ever leaves his room. Well, how much do I owe you? [00:08:23] Speaker H: I'll send you the bill. [00:08:25] Speaker F: I'm sure you'll forget all about it. Promise me you'll send it. Oh, dear. Mr. Paul Olsen, are you all right? [00:08:49] Speaker E: Yes, Mrs. Canby, I'm all right. [00:08:53] Speaker F: That cough sounds worse than up to me. Why don't you let me fix your little hot milk and honey? [00:08:59] Speaker E: No, thank you, Mrs. Canby. Thanks very much. I'm going to try to get some sleep. [00:09:05] Speaker F: Well, all right, if you say so. I guess it's time I was in bed myself. I wonder if he keeps his birds awake, too. [00:09:27] Speaker E: Mrs. Canby, please. [00:09:30] Speaker F: For heaven's sake, is he calling me? He is calling me. I'm coming, Mr. Paulson. Oh, no. Where are those darn slippers? I'll be right there. What is it, Mr. Paulson? What's the matter, Mrs. Kenby? [00:09:52] Speaker E: Mr. Paulson. [00:09:53] Speaker F: Just look at you. Why didn't he tell me he was the sick? I would have called a. No, no. [00:10:00] Speaker E: Too late now. Too late. [00:10:02] Speaker F: I know a very good doctor. I saw him only this afternoon. I'll go and call him right. [00:10:09] Speaker E: No, please listen to me. [00:10:11] Speaker F: Well, I've got to get help for you, Mr. Paulson. [00:10:13] Speaker E: Dying. I'm dying. Confession. [00:10:17] Speaker F: Do you want a priest? Is that what you want? [00:10:20] Speaker E: Richardson murdered ten years ago. What murder? I did it. I killed him. For money I was paid. Did you hear me? [00:10:31] Speaker F: Oh, Lord. Mr. Paulson, do you know what you're saying? [00:10:35] Speaker E: Do you understand me? Lindell is innocent. I killed Richardson, not Lindell. [00:10:44] Speaker F: Let me get help, and you can tell them yourself. Mr. Paulson. And the police and the doctor. [00:10:49] Speaker E: You tell them. Please tell them to free Lindell. He's innocent. [00:10:54] Speaker H: Tell them. [00:10:54] Speaker E: I'm the one who killed Richardson ten years ago. [00:10:58] Speaker F: I don't know anything about such things, and I don't want. [00:11:02] Speaker E: I did it. I killed Richardson. [00:11:05] Speaker F: I did it. I don't want to hear it. Please don't tell me. Please. Mr. Paulson. Mr. Paulson. [00:11:16] Speaker E: Oh, dear God. [00:11:18] Speaker F: I think he's gone. Listen to those poor little birdies. I suppose they miss poor Mr. Paulson. I'll lay them in his room. Well, let's see about this letter. Now. Dear Walter, I hope you don't mind my turning to you for advice, but I really don't know what to do. It's been three days since my border. Mr. Paulson passed away, and I still haven't told the police what the man said to me. I just can't bring myself to get mixed up in anything like this. What's the use of writing, Walter? You'll probably think I've dreamed it all up. No, I'll just forget me. How do you forget such a thing? Those names. I keep hearing them. Richardson, Lindell. Lindell is innocent. Oh, dear God. What if it's all true? If Mr. Paulson actually murdered this Richardson and Lindell is innocent? Only. Well, who are they? I wonder if the telephone book. Well, why not? Let's see. Richardson, Richard Risthar. Yes, here it is. Oh, lord, there's dozens of them. Well, I'll try Lindell. That wouldn't be as common, I don't suppose. Yes, here it is. There's only about half a dozen Lind Dldell. Oh, my heavens. Lindell and Richardson. Both names together. Lindell and Richardson investments. Nine concourse, 415-3132. I wonder if. Well, maybe it's the only way to be sure. Hello. May I speak to Mr. Lindell? He isn't? Well, then what about Mr. Richardson? Oh, I see. Well, is there someone there I can speak? Yes, yes, please. Thank you. [00:13:59] Speaker E: Hello. This is Mr. Chelten. May I be of service? [00:14:03] Speaker F: Well, maybe you can. I want to know about your Mr. Richardson. About when he died, I think. I did business with him once a long time ago. [00:14:12] Speaker E: Well, it's ten years, madam. Just about. But if you're interested in investment advice. [00:14:18] Speaker F: Well, I'll think about it. Thank you very much. Ten years? Well, it could be a coincidence. I guess it all depends on how he died. [00:14:36] Speaker G: Well, Mrs. Canby, please come in. [00:14:38] Speaker E: Have a seat. [00:14:39] Speaker F: Thank you. [00:14:40] Speaker G: Well, now, how can we be of help to you? [00:14:43] Speaker F: I didn't come here to get help, Mr. Shelton. I came to help you, as a matter of fact, or rather, somebody you know. [00:14:53] Speaker G: Who would that be? [00:14:54] Speaker F: Mr. John Lindell, the man who was supposed to have murdered Mr. Richardson. [00:14:59] Speaker G: I'm afraid I'm not following you. [00:15:01] Speaker F: Well, it took me all week to find out what happened to those two men, and finally I found the story in the old newspaper room down at the library about Mr. Lindell being indicted for killing his partner. But I'm sure you know the whole story a lot better than I do. [00:15:17] Speaker G: Well, of course I know the story, but that was quite a long time ago, Mrs. Ganby. [00:15:22] Speaker F: Ten years doesn't seem so long when you're my age. Anyway, the point is that I can help you, Mr. Lindell, only I can't do it alone. [00:15:33] Speaker G: Did you know John Lindell? [00:15:35] Speaker F: No. No, I didn't. Nor Mr. Richardson, for that matter. The man I knew was named Poulton, who? I rented a room to Mr. Polson, and he died about eight days ago of pneumonia. I was there when it happened. [00:15:50] Speaker G: Well, that's unfortunate. [00:15:51] Speaker F: But before he died, Mr. Paulson told me something about Mr. Richardson's murder. He said Mr. Lindell hadn't been responsible, but he. Mr. Paulson had committed it for money. [00:16:06] Speaker G: Mrs. Canby, listen to me. [00:16:09] Speaker F: It was this man Lindell that bothered him. The fact that he was in prison for something he didn't do. I thought I should tell you this, Mr. Chelten, because you knew both of these gentlemen. It said so in the newspaper. [00:16:23] Speaker G: Mrs. Canby. My dear woman, why, I don't know what silly story you heard, but it's completely wrong. There wasn't any question about what happened. This border of yours, whatever his name is, merely had an obsession. [00:16:42] Speaker F: Well, just the same, I thought you could follow through on this business. Yeah, tell the police. Because if it is true, Mr. Lindell should be freed on evidence like that. Well, I don't know anything about evidence. I'm just telling you what I heard. Well, never mind. I suppose I should have told the police. [00:17:05] Speaker G: Wait, wait, Mrs. Canby. Let me put your mind at rest. John Lindell is no longer in prison. [00:17:13] Speaker F: He isn't? [00:17:14] Speaker G: He's dead, Mrs. Canby. He's been dead for the last three years. He wasn't a young man when all this happened, when he accused his partner Fred Richardson of defrauding him and shot him dead. [00:17:26] Speaker F: He died in prison. [00:17:29] Speaker G: Even if all you say is true, that this man was Richardson's murderer, you can't help John Lindell any longer. He's beyond that. [00:17:38] Speaker F: But his name. Don't you want to clear his name? [00:17:40] Speaker G: Have you any proof? Any living witness? [00:17:44] Speaker F: Just myself. [00:17:45] Speaker G: But you'd be willing to involve yourself? Start a whole new investigation, open up the whole dreadful mess again? Mrs. Canby, do you know that John Lindell had a daughter? [00:17:56] Speaker F: No. But wouldn't that be all the more reason to do something? [00:18:01] Speaker G: His daughter's married, living in Minneapolis, a husband and three children. People have forgotten about her father by now. Would you want that poor woman to see his name dragged through the newspapers a second time? [00:18:14] Speaker F: But if her father was innocent. [00:18:16] Speaker G: Forget it, Mrs. Canby. That's my advice to you. The old wound is healed. Don't reopen it. [00:18:24] Speaker F: Oh, it troubles me so. I haven't thought of anything else since it happened. Perhaps if I saw a minister, if I had some advice from a man of God. [00:18:37] Speaker G: Mrs. Canby, now you've said something. Now you've shown me the way. That's where our answer lies, dear woman, in prayer in the forgiveness of our dear Lord. Will you pray with me, Mrs. Kenby? [00:18:51] Speaker F: Pray? Here? [00:18:53] Speaker G: Why not? God is everywhere. Please join me. Dear Lord, tell us what to do. Give us your divine guidance. Show us the path to righteousness. [00:19:07] Speaker F: Mrs. Chelten. [00:19:08] Speaker G: Help us, o Lord. Help us to understand. Teach us to forgive the sins of others and to forget them. To forget. I feel much better now, Mrs. Canby. Do you? [00:19:23] Speaker F: I'm not sure. [00:19:26] Speaker G: Let us turn this matter over to God, Miss Canby. Not to the police, but to the Lord. It's in his hands now. Don't you agree? [00:19:35] Speaker F: Well, in a way, that's true, since they're dead now. All of them. Yes. [00:19:53] Speaker H: Mrs. Camby? [00:19:54] Speaker F: Yes. [00:19:55] Speaker H: Mine means Stuart Winfield. Mrs. Canby, I understand you have a room for rent. [00:20:00] Speaker F: Yes, I do. [00:20:02] Speaker H: Well, I'm new in town. Just arrived from Philadelphia. I've been staying at a hotel, but I'd like something homeier. [00:20:08] Speaker F: Well, the room I have is $35 a week. I can't offer you any meals, but you can use the kitchen all you want. [00:20:16] Speaker H: Well, that sounds good to me. [00:20:18] Speaker F: Would you like to see the room? [00:20:19] Speaker H: Yes, ma'am, I sure would. [00:20:21] Speaker F: Well, come on in, ma'am. [00:20:23] Speaker H: Thank you. [00:20:26] Speaker F: By the way, how did you know I had a room for rent? I was going to place an ad this weekend. [00:20:32] Speaker H: Oh, I guess someone at the hotel mentioned it. I forget just who say, this is a real fine old house, Mrs. Canby. I can see that I'm going to like this place just fine. [00:20:51] Speaker D: And so Mrs. Canby has a new border. He's a very personable young man with a great deal more charm than old Mr. Paulson had. Perhaps in a little while, Mrs. Canby will be able to forget her former border and the shocking confession he made on his deathbed. I'll be back shortly. With act two. Stu Winfield took no time at all to make himself at home in Ada Canby's big old house. He loved everything about his room. The fine old four poster bed, the crazy quilt that Ada herself had sewn up 40 years ago, the lace curtains on the window. He even loved Mr. Paulson's blue parakeets. But what he really seemed to like best was Mrs. Canby herself. [00:21:54] Speaker F: Just take me two minutes to get these clean sheets on the bed, Mr. [00:21:58] Speaker H: Here, let me give you a hand. [00:22:00] Speaker F: I can manage. I've been making this bed for almost 50 years. [00:22:04] Speaker H: You've lived in this house that long? [00:22:06] Speaker F: Moved in here when I got married back in 1919. My husband David, bought it for us. Our only son, Ralph, was born in it. [00:22:14] Speaker H: And you've lost them both? [00:22:16] Speaker F: Yes, they're both dead, but I haven't lost them. [00:22:19] Speaker H: Oh, yes. Yes, I understand, Mrs. Canby. I guess I feel that way about my mom. [00:22:25] Speaker F: Your mother's dad? [00:22:27] Speaker H: Yes. She died when I was two. [00:22:29] Speaker F: Listen, Mr. Winfield, are you sure you want these birds in your room? I could take them to the parlor if you. [00:22:36] Speaker H: No, no, I think they're great. I think everything's great about this house. But there is something you can do for me. [00:22:43] Speaker F: What's that? [00:22:44] Speaker H: Would you mind not calling me Mr. Winfield? That's what they call my father. My name's Stuart. [00:22:50] Speaker F: Well, all right, Stuart, dear. Walter, I think it's about time I told you that I have a border in my house. Mr. Winfield is the nicest young man you could want to meet. He's a great deal friendlier than my first gentleman, Mr. Paulson. And he seems to like nothing better than to sit around evenings and talk. We talk about his home and his parents and his plans for the future. I think the poor boy misses his home and family, and I'm sort of a substitute for all. [00:23:30] Speaker H: Know. It isn't really fair, Mrs. Canby. You said I had kitchen privileges, but that doesn't mean you have to cook for me. [00:23:38] Speaker F: It's a pleasure, Stuart. I haven't had anyone to cook for in years. [00:23:42] Speaker H: You're kidding? You mean to say you cook this good without practice? [00:23:46] Speaker F: Oh, you're just being nice. I'm sure that stew is just plain ordinary. [00:23:51] Speaker H: It's terrific. No kidding. Well, it tastes like home, if you know what I mean. [00:23:58] Speaker F: Well, it depends on whose home you mean. [00:24:00] Speaker H: Well, my mom cooks stews like this. That's what I meant. [00:24:03] Speaker F: Your mom? But she died when you were only two. [00:24:08] Speaker H: Well, I guess I didn't mean my mom exactly. I was thinking of my aunt Martha. I mean, she's the one who sort of took over the cooking and stuff after my mother died. And my father's sister, you know. [00:24:20] Speaker F: I see. Well, that was lucky that you had someone to take her place. [00:24:25] Speaker H: Yeah, that's right. [00:24:27] Speaker F: Excuse me, my. Stewart. You're not coming down with anything, are? [00:24:31] Speaker H: No, no, I'm fine. Just a little case of the sniffle. [00:24:34] Speaker F: Listen, if your room isn't warm enough, I have an extra. [00:24:37] Speaker H: No, the room's just fine. Don't worry about. [00:24:39] Speaker F: Oh, you'll be sure now. I know I felt a little guilty about poor Mr. Paulson when he got sick. Maybe I didn't take good enough care of him. [00:24:49] Speaker H: Paulson? Was that your former border? The bird? [00:24:52] Speaker F: Yes. Yes, that was his name. The poor man. [00:24:56] Speaker H: Tell me about him. [00:24:57] Speaker F: Well, I don't really know that much about him. He lived here less than two months. [00:25:03] Speaker H: What sort of a guy was. [00:25:04] Speaker F: Well, very quiet. He kept to himself. [00:25:07] Speaker H: Did you say he was from South America? [00:25:10] Speaker F: I don't remember if I did or not. [00:25:12] Speaker H: Well, you must have said it. [00:25:15] Speaker F: Yes, of course, he was american. But he'd been living in Brazil. I don't know why exactly. Although, come to think of it, maybe I do. [00:25:27] Speaker H: What do you mean? [00:25:28] Speaker F: Well, it just occurred to me that Brazil might be just a place for someone who came into a lot of money and wanted to leave the country. [00:25:37] Speaker H: I don't understand. [00:25:40] Speaker F: I really think you are getting a cold. Stewart, I'm getting that blanket out this minute. [00:25:45] Speaker H: Now, wait, Mrs. Canby. I'd rather hear about. [00:25:47] Speaker F: Never mind. I don't want to take any chances. I'll be right back. [00:25:54] Speaker H: Yes, Mrs. Canby. Don't take any chance. [00:26:04] Speaker F: Stewart. [00:26:05] Speaker H: Yes. Come in. [00:26:09] Speaker F: I brought you a. [00:26:12] Speaker H: Shouldn't have. You shouldn't have gone to all that trouble, Mrs. Campbell. [00:26:15] Speaker F: Wasn't least a bit of trouble. Besides, you've got to have some supper, feed a cold and starve a fever. [00:26:22] Speaker H: I mean, I was going to come out to the kitchen and get myself a sandwich or something. You didn't have to bring it to me. Oh, look at that. Is that roast chicken. [00:26:32] Speaker F: Well, that's what it's supposed to be. I hope it tastes all right. [00:26:36] Speaker H: Noodle soup with dumplings. Mrs. Canby, you're spoiling me rotten, do you know that? [00:26:41] Speaker F: I just thought it'd be a good idea if you stayed in bed and took it easy. You weren't planning to go out tonight, were you? [00:26:48] Speaker H: No, I was just going to stay in and read for a while, maybe watch television. [00:26:53] Speaker F: That's good. Here, I'll just set this tray down. [00:26:57] Speaker H: The service here is just too good. We never finished our talk the other day about that border of yours, Mr. Paulson. [00:27:08] Speaker F: Well, there's not much to say about him, really. [00:27:11] Speaker H: Well, you said something about his living in South America. You said you thought you understood why he was living there. Sounded real interesting. [00:27:20] Speaker F: Well, the truth is, Stuart, there is something to tell about Mr. Paulson. Maybe you can help me feel better about it all. [00:27:29] Speaker H: About what? [00:27:31] Speaker F: I'm not going to tell you if you don't eat. [00:27:34] Speaker H: All right, Mrs. Canby, I'll eat. [00:27:38] Speaker F: Well, it happened just about three weeks ago. [00:27:53] Speaker H: You know something, Mrs. Candy? That's about the best roast chicken I've had in years. [00:27:57] Speaker F: I'm sure I spoiled your appetite with all my. [00:28:00] Speaker H: No, no. That was a really interesting story. [00:28:02] Speaker F: But what do you think of it all, Stuart? Do you think I did the right thing? [00:28:07] Speaker H: Well, frankly, Mrs. Canby, I do. [00:28:10] Speaker F: Honestly. [00:28:11] Speaker H: Well, this guy Chelten sounds a little screwy, but I think he's all right. I mean, from a practical standpoint. [00:28:17] Speaker F: Then you agree with him? [00:28:18] Speaker H: Sure. This man Richardson's dead, right? And what's his name? Lindell. Yes, well, he's dead too, right? [00:28:26] Speaker F: And poor Mr. Paulson, the man who supposedly killed Richardson. [00:28:31] Speaker H: Well, there you are. Nothing you can do will bring any of them back, right? [00:28:37] Speaker F: Yes, but just the same. [00:28:38] Speaker H: And you know the police, Mrs. Canby. They'll be hounding you forever, tracking mud into your parlor, bothering you with questions. No, Mrs. Canby. You're too nice a person to put up with that kind of thing. [00:28:50] Speaker F: You mean too old a person. [00:28:53] Speaker H: I just think Mr. Chelten was right. Let sleeping dogs lie. [00:28:57] Speaker F: Yes, that's what I keep telling myself. But you know something? There's one thing Mr. Chelten forgot. Entering me too, I suppose. [00:29:06] Speaker H: What's that? [00:29:07] Speaker F: Why, the real murderer. He may still be alive even if all the others are gone. Don't you see? [00:29:15] Speaker H: No, I don't. [00:29:17] Speaker F: Even if Mr. Lindell can't be helped anymore, that doesn't mean the real murderer should get away. [00:29:24] Speaker H: But the real murderer is dead. [00:29:27] Speaker F: Paulson no, the killer is the man who hired Mr. Paulson. Don't you see? Is it right that he should get away with it? [00:29:35] Speaker H: No, wait a minute. You're jumping to conclusions. [00:29:38] Speaker F: No, I'm not. Mr. Paulson told me that he was hired to do this thing. [00:29:43] Speaker H: Well, maybe he was hired by Lindell. Maybe Lindell hired him, and then Paulson got cold feet, and Lindell did the shooting himself. [00:29:52] Speaker F: No, I'm sure that isn't true. You see, I read the newspaper article all about it. [00:29:57] Speaker H: Well, you really were thorough about this, weren't you, Mrs. Candy? [00:30:03] Speaker F: You poor man. That Cole's gone to your chest now, hasn't it? [00:30:09] Speaker H: No, I'm all right. Stop worrying about me. Let's talk about this other problem of yours. [00:30:16] Speaker F: Well, maybe I'm making it more of a problem than it should be. Maybe if I just told the police everything, I could forget it once and for all. [00:30:26] Speaker H: No, I really couldn't advise that, Mrs. Canby. [00:30:30] Speaker F: Well, it said in the newspaper story that the two men were partners in that investment firm. Mr. Lindell thought that his partner, Richardson, was cheating, taking money out of the firm, and that's why he's supposed to have shot him. [00:30:46] Speaker H: Wasn't there a witness to the. [00:30:49] Speaker F: Why, yes, I think there was. Come to think, it was Mr. Shelton. That's right. [00:30:56] Speaker H: Well, doesn't that wrap it up for you? [00:30:59] Speaker F: Well, it would if it wasn't for Mr. Paulson. [00:31:02] Speaker H: Listen, Mrs. Canby, you know how much I like you. Well, in just a few days, you're more like family to me than my aunt Martha ever was. [00:31:11] Speaker F: Well, it's nice of you to say, Stuart. [00:31:14] Speaker H: And that's why I want you to listen to me about this. That's why I want you to forget about this whole foolish thing. [00:31:24] Speaker F: Listen to you? You sound awful. Stuart, just tell right. No, you're not. [00:31:31] Speaker H: All right. [00:31:31] Speaker F: I'm going to get you some cough medicine right this minute. [00:31:56] Speaker H: Mr. Chalton, it's me, Winfield. [00:31:59] Speaker E: Well, what's happening? [00:32:02] Speaker H: I think I better stick around for a few more days, Mr. Chelten. The old lady's beginning to get fidgety, if you know what I mean. [00:32:18] Speaker D: Well, something tells me that Stuart Winfield isn't such a nice young man after all. Could it be that he wasn't telling Mrs. Canby the truth about his dear mother and his aunt Martha? Could he have not told her the truth about his plans for the future? Of course, the real issue is, what sort of plan does he have for Ada Canby's future? I'll be back shortly with act three. [00:32:46] Speaker I: I'm high Brown. And as producer of Radio mystery Theatre, welcome to the premiere of an exciting venture in modern radio. The return of spine tingling suspense and mystery. Seven times a week with fine actors and actresses and one other star player, your imagination. We'd like to hear whether you're glad radio drama is back. So we're holding a weekly drawing for three weeks with 50 prizes a week. 02:00 a.m.. Fm stereophonos, two travel clock radios and 46 anthologies of modern suspense. All you do is send us your name and address to mystery theater, box 50, Radio City station, New York 119. Box 50, radio City station, New York 119. Offer good everywhere unless locally prohibited. [00:33:52] Speaker D: Poor Mrs. Canby. She isn't sleeping well tonight. But of course, Mrs. Canby has good reasons for insomnia. Her thoughts are whirling her border. Stewart was right. She doesn't want the bother of going to the police. And she firmly believes in the old adage, if you don't trouble, trouble, trouble won't trouble you. [00:34:19] Speaker G: But still. [00:34:21] Speaker F: Oh, my. I'm just never going to get to sleep tonight. Poor Stewart. He's still coughing. I'm sure that room is just too drastic. I never should have let any borders in until I got the windows fixed. That poor boy. I'll never forget the terrible night Mr. Paulson was coughing. Sebastie. And the way he looked. All gray and shrunken. If only I knew he was this sick. No. If only he'd never even come to this house. [00:35:03] Speaker E: Mrs. Canby. I killed Richardson. I did it. [00:35:09] Speaker F: Do I ever forget the sound of that man's voice? [00:35:13] Speaker E: Lindell is innocent. Lindell is innocent. [00:35:17] Speaker F: That poor man. All the years he spent in jail for something he didn't know. Let sleeping dogs lie, Mrs. Canby. [00:35:28] Speaker E: My Aunt Martha always said, let sleeping dogs lie. [00:35:34] Speaker F: If only I could get some sleep. [00:35:37] Speaker E: Let us turn this matter over to God, Mrs. Canby. Not to the police. Not to the police. Not to the police. [00:35:47] Speaker F: What a strange man he is, Mr. Chubb. Where he talked about God praying at his desk. Of course. God is everywhere but his desk. [00:36:01] Speaker E: I killed Richardson. I murdered him for money. I was paid. I was paid. [00:36:13] Speaker F: Someone had to pay him. Mr. Paulson wasn't the only guilty worm. Someone else was, too. [00:36:20] Speaker E: Forget. Forget. Forget. [00:36:25] Speaker F: Oh, dear Lord. Mr. Chelten. Chelten. What did that newspaper article say? The chief witness against Mr. Lindell was Arnold Shelton. But how could he be a witness to something that never happened? How could he be? I'll have to tell someone. I'll have to talk to someone. Yes, I'll tell Stuart about it in the morning. Stewart, are you awake? [00:37:07] Speaker H: Yes, I'm up, Mrs. Canby. Come in. Oh, no. Now don't tell me. I'm getting breakfast in bed, too. [00:37:17] Speaker F: I know you had a terrible night last night, Stuart. You were coughing much worse than ever. I guess that medicine wasn't very good. [00:37:25] Speaker H: Sorry I kept you awake, Mrs. Candy. [00:37:28] Speaker F: That wasn't your fault. Something else kept me up. [00:37:32] Speaker H: What was? [00:37:33] Speaker F: Oh, my mind. I guess maybe I should say my conscience. [00:37:39] Speaker H: Well, that sounds serious. [00:37:41] Speaker F: But it is something serious, Stuart. I might have let a man get away with murder. No, it's even worse than that. He did something worse than murder. [00:37:53] Speaker H: You're talking about Paulson again. [00:37:56] Speaker F: No, I'm talking about the man who hired Mr. Paulson. He didn't just have that man Richardson shot. He let an innocent person go to jail and die there. That's like committing two murders, if you ask me. I have to tell you something that occurred to me last night. [00:38:17] Speaker H: Sure, go ahead. [00:38:18] Speaker F: Well, it's about Mr. Chelten. Mr. Arnold Shelton. [00:38:24] Speaker H: Yeah, go on, Stuart. [00:38:28] Speaker F: I wonder if maybe the reason Mr. Chelten was so upset with me, the reason he didn't want me to go to the police, was because he was afraid. [00:38:40] Speaker H: Explain what you mean. [00:38:42] Speaker F: Well, what I mean is, maybe Mr. Chelten had good reason. Besides the one he told me. He was working for both Mr. Richardson and Mr. Lindell at the time of the murder. [00:38:55] Speaker H: Well, so what? [00:38:56] Speaker F: Well, he was also the chief witness at the trial, a witness for the. [00:39:00] Speaker H: Prosecution, that he saw the shooting, didn't he? [00:39:03] Speaker F: But that's just the point. He saw Mr. Lindell shoot Mr. Richardson. [00:39:10] Speaker H: Well, that's not what you told me last time. I mean, that he was an eyewitness. [00:39:15] Speaker F: No, that's right. He didn't actually see the shooting. He was miles away when it happened. I don't quite remember the details. [00:39:24] Speaker H: There was something about a phone call, maybe? [00:39:27] Speaker F: Yes, that's what it was. He claimed that Mr. Richardson was talking to him on the phone when Mr. Lindell showed up at his apartment. He said that Richardson cried out, something about Lindell having a gun, and then. [00:39:41] Speaker H: He heard the shot. [00:39:43] Speaker F: But how could that have happened if the gun was fired by Mr. Paulson? [00:39:48] Speaker H: If, Mrs. Canby. That's the big little word, isn't it? [00:39:53] Speaker F: If? Don't you see what I'm saying? Stuart Arnold, Chelsea had the most to gain. [00:40:03] Speaker H: Gain from what? [00:40:04] Speaker F: From both these men leaving the firm that lead the whole thing to him. All those customers, all the investments he handled, all the commissions or whatever they call it. [00:40:15] Speaker H: Are you accusing this guy Chelten of being the killer? [00:40:19] Speaker F: Yes. It's the only answer, Stuart. [00:40:23] Speaker H: Well, look, if that was the case, the police would have figured it out. [00:40:28] Speaker F: But they didn't. There was nothing in the stories I read that pointed any suspicion at Mr. Chelton. I don't suppose it even occurred to them. And now the company is all his. [00:40:42] Speaker H: You don't call that evidence, do you? [00:40:45] Speaker F: Well, then why didn't he let me go to the police? Why did he try so hard to talk me out of it? That man was praying, Stuart. He was taking the name of the Lord. Oh, I'm sorry, Stuart. I'm so sorry. I won't bother anymore. I know what I have to do anyway, Mrs. Candy. I won't be gone long, Stuart. [00:41:14] Speaker H: No, no, wait. [00:41:15] Speaker F: The minute I get back, I'm going to call Dr. George and ask him to come over. [00:41:20] Speaker H: Never mind the doctor. You're calling the. [00:41:23] Speaker F: No, no, I won't call. You're right. I don't want them tracking mud in Montparlo. I'm going down the station house and talk to them. I'll get dressed now and go straight. [00:41:34] Speaker H: Please, please think about what you're doing. [00:41:37] Speaker F: I'll tell them what I know, and they can do the rest. Now you try to eat something, Stuart, please. [00:41:45] Speaker H: Mrs. Canby. [00:41:59] Speaker E: What is this, Winfield? I told you not to call me in the office. [00:42:03] Speaker H: It's emergency. [00:42:05] Speaker E: You sound terrible. [00:42:07] Speaker H: What's the matter with you? I'm sick. Only you're going to be a lot sicker. [00:42:12] Speaker E: What are you talking about? [00:42:13] Speaker H: The old lady. I can't stop her. She's decided to talk. [00:42:17] Speaker E: What? [00:42:18] Speaker H: She figured it out. Figured out exactly what you did, Shelton, and how you did it. [00:42:22] Speaker F: You fool. You've got to stop her. Do you hear me? [00:42:26] Speaker H: That wasn't part of the deal, Shelton. [00:42:28] Speaker E: It's all of the deal now. [00:42:30] Speaker H: The price didn't include anything like that. [00:42:32] Speaker E: The price just doubled. Old ladies are always having accidents. Make her have one. Make her have one now, Winfield. [00:42:44] Speaker H: All right. She's going to have a fall down the cellar steps right now. You got to get my robe on and my slippers. I got to hurry. [00:43:08] Speaker F: Stewart, is that you? [00:43:10] Speaker H: Open up, Mrs. Candy. [00:43:15] Speaker F: Stuart. Winfield, what are you doing out of bed? Now, you'll go right back there this second. [00:43:21] Speaker H: I got to talk to you, Mrs. Canby, before you go to the police. [00:43:25] Speaker F: Just listen to you. You're all winded. You can hardly talk. Stuart. Now go back to bed before you catch pneumonia, too. [00:43:32] Speaker H: Now don't go, Mrs. Canby. It would be better if you never went to the police. Better for you, better for me. [00:43:40] Speaker F: For you? I don't understand. [00:43:42] Speaker H: Well, then I wouldn't have to hurt you, Mrs. Canby. That's what I mean. I wouldn't have to do anything bad to you. [00:43:53] Speaker F: Stuart, what in the world are you talking about? [00:43:55] Speaker H: Come on, old lady. You're smart. All right. You really think things through. So now think a little harder. [00:44:07] Speaker F: That's how you knew my room is correct. Because Mr. Shelton told you. [00:44:10] Speaker H: Now you're getting there, Mrs. Canby. [00:44:13] Speaker F: That's why you rendered it. That's why you were sent here. [00:44:16] Speaker H: Just to watch you, Mrs. Canby. Just to see that you stayed sensible. [00:44:23] Speaker F: Mr. Chapman did. [00:44:25] Speaker H: I was hoping you'd never change your mind about calling the police. I didn't want this part of it. This isn't the part I like. [00:44:35] Speaker F: Just relax, Mrs. Candy. [00:44:37] Speaker E: Just take it easy. [00:44:42] Speaker H: Mrs. Candy. Just like my Aunt Martha would have been if I had an Aunt Martha. [00:44:52] Speaker F: We've got a date now, Mrs. Candy. [00:44:57] Speaker H: Put up such a fight, Mrs. Candy. I'm sick, remember? Just shut your eyes, please. Shut your eyes and don't look down. Shut your eyes, old lady. Just be glad that wasn't you at the bottom of those stairs. [00:45:40] Speaker F: Will he be all right, Dr. George? [00:45:42] Speaker H: Now what do you want to worry about that man for? Truth is, his injuries don't amount to very much. A couple of broken ribs seem to be the worst of it. But he'll be a patient for some time before they can put him in prison where he belongs. Him and his friend. What was that man's name again? [00:46:03] Speaker F: You mean Mr. Chatham? Have they arrested? [00:46:08] Speaker H: Yep. Yep. That's what the police depictive said. [00:46:11] Speaker F: I understand Stuart's injuries aren't safe. [00:46:16] Speaker H: It's not the fault that made whenfields are sick. His case was diagnosed as simple pneumonia at first. And then I remembered about your first border. Nelson, was it? [00:46:28] Speaker F: No, Paulson. But he had pneumonia, too. He died of. Oh, is pneumonia contagious? [00:46:35] Speaker H: Yes, it is. But this disease was even more contagious. It's a pneumonia caused by a disease called citicosis, better known as Parrot fever. You get it from sick birds like the parakeets in your spare room. [00:46:54] Speaker F: Oh, no. Mr. Paulson's bird. [00:46:58] Speaker H: Sorry, Ada, but they had to be taken out and destroyed. [00:47:03] Speaker F: What a shame. [00:47:04] Speaker H: There's one reason I feel sorry for them. They saved your life. Made Mr. Winfield too weak even to throw a little old lady down a flight of. [00:47:16] Speaker F: Aye, those poor little creatures. [00:47:19] Speaker H: But you can be grateful they didn't make you sick, too? Parrot fever is so contagious that no more than one person in a thousand could be exposed to it and escape infection. It was pretty darn close to a miracle, Adam. [00:47:35] Speaker F: We're hard to kill, doctor, remember, the old ones are hard to kill. [00:47:47] Speaker D: They say that people are living longer than ever before. And when we look at Ada Canby, we can understand why. [00:47:56] Speaker H: She's a tough old lady. [00:47:58] Speaker D: So tough she could withstand the threats of man, beasts and bird. So let that be a warning to all those who think that our senior citizens are easy prey for crime. Watch out, they may turn the tables on you or the stairs. I'll be back shortly. We have one final comment for you on behalf of Ada Canby and old people everywhere, there's a saying, there's no fool like an old fool. But it's also true that there's no wisdom and strength like old wisdom and strength there. Does that make you feel better about your next birthday? Our cast included Agnes Moorhead, Leon Janney, and Roger Dekovin. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. Now a preview of our next tale. [00:49:10] Speaker F: You spoil me shamefully. [00:49:20] Speaker H: That night, I spoiled her just a bit more by bringing hot cocoa to her in bed. [00:49:27] Speaker D: Drink it down now? [00:49:28] Speaker E: Yes. [00:49:28] Speaker H: Does it taste all right? [00:49:30] Speaker F: Oh, tastes just fine. [00:49:35] Speaker H: Now, that was very good news because I'd prepared the hot cocoa myself and I had no idea whether 25 melted sleeping pills would seriously affect the flavor. [00:49:48] Speaker D: This is E. G. Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until next time, pleasant. [00:50:36] Speaker A: That was. The old ones are hard to kill. From CBS Radio Mystery Theater here on the mysterious old radio listening Society podcast, once again, I'm Eric. [00:50:46] Speaker G: I'm Tim. [00:50:46] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:50:48] Speaker A: And that was brought to us or recommended to us by our mysterious listener, Glenn, and also helps us mark the 50th anniversary of CBS radio mystery theater that began in 1974 on January 6. There's an interesting thing I want to get out at the top. Little piece of trivia for everybody. Agnes Morehead died four months after this. Apparently, they're not that hard to kill. [00:51:19] Speaker B: She lived long enough to make this, I think, a meaningful commemorative statement about her whole career as a whole. [00:51:25] Speaker A: I thought this was. Yeah. [00:51:26] Speaker C: And there's no doubt that she would have been in hundreds of episodes of CBS radio mystery theater had she not passed away. [00:51:34] Speaker A: Oh, they would have called it Agnes Moorhead in CBS radio mystery theater. Do we know if this was the absolute last thing she ever did performance wise? I mean, it's got to be. [00:51:44] Speaker C: She still did one more episode of CBS, did she? [00:51:47] Speaker A: Anything on tv or stage? You know what I mean? I was wondering if this was her swan song. [00:51:53] Speaker C: Did a lot of research for that intro, but of course you're going to zero in on the part. I didn't. [00:51:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I do. [00:51:59] Speaker C: So first he complains about how long the script is for the intro, and. [00:52:03] Speaker E: Then you should have dug up more. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Research on the website. The link you gave us to listen to this. There is a place for commentary, and I was really taken by how much of the commentary underneath this episode was in reference to. I listened to CBS RMT on WCCO radio in the 70s, which is our station. We were from Minneapolis, the Twin Cities, if you didn't know that. And that's our local radio station that has been around since 1920. Something that was my first taste of old time radio, period. Was WCCO in the broadcast of this? Anyway, well, should we vote? [00:52:49] Speaker C: I was still trying to look up where Agnes Moore had last performed, but I can't find it, other than the fact that she did die of cancer at Rochester, Minnesota. [00:52:58] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:52:59] Speaker H: Wow. [00:53:00] Speaker A: I did not know that. So she's at the Mayo. Yeah. [00:53:02] Speaker C: There is a whole story which I didn't have time to dig in. And Glenn sent me another email, though. She was in the film the Conqueror, and she was one of many, many actors who died of cancer who had. [00:53:14] Speaker A: 91 out of 220 after exposure to. [00:53:18] Speaker C: The fallout from atomic bomb tests. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Really? [00:53:21] Speaker C: Apparently that's what it says here on the wikipedia. [00:53:26] Speaker A: Wait, did the conqueror take place in Ground Zero, New Mexico or something? Like how did they get exposed to. [00:53:33] Speaker C: In St. George, Utah? [00:53:34] Speaker A: Wow. Crazy. I've never seen that movie. I've never heard of that movie. Have you seen it, Joshua? [00:53:40] Speaker C: No, but Dick Powell directed it and also died of cancer. [00:53:44] Speaker B: But I did listen to this episode, if we want to dig into that. [00:53:49] Speaker A: Not really. [00:53:51] Speaker C: That's how we communicate, asking questions that we don't have answers to. [00:53:56] Speaker A: Go ahead, Tim. [00:53:59] Speaker B: We often, as you said, will be a little judgy of padding in the script, which I did not think this had any padding. I thought this was a lovely script. [00:54:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree with that. [00:54:11] Speaker B: Yeah, I enjoyed the whole thing. I would have enjoyed the whole thing without the background of like, oh, it's actors. [00:54:17] Speaker E: More hidden cb. Oh, this is so meaningful. [00:54:18] Speaker B: This is such a beautiful moment. Even if it had just been like, I don't know who this is. I don't know what the show is, but I think it's really good. [00:54:25] Speaker A: I thought it was really well written and performed. I'll just say that. I don't know, it may just have been me, but what? It ended up being the birds causing them to be sick. And that guy was hired by that guy somewhere in the first act. I had all of that figured out. Oh, wow. Yeah. Birds. [00:54:45] Speaker B: Getting them sick was a total. That was a red herring that I just did not. [00:54:49] Speaker A: They were talking about the birds way too much for it not to be a thing for me. [00:54:53] Speaker C: You want me to move them out of the. [00:54:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:54:55] Speaker C: And obviously it's an outside factor causing illness when Stuart II border starts coughing. [00:55:04] Speaker B: And I just don't normally initially think of, like, birds that'll make you sick. [00:55:08] Speaker A: Yeah, they will, though. I hate them. But the other point was when she meets with the. Whatever he is. Priest or whatever he is. [00:55:17] Speaker C: He's not a priest. [00:55:18] Speaker A: What is he, the guy that made her pray? [00:55:20] Speaker C: Yeah. He's the guy who has taken over agency. [00:55:24] Speaker A: So he's not a priest. But when he made her pray and she was all. [00:55:29] Speaker C: You're missing the subtlety there because he's not religious. He's just trying to con her. [00:55:32] Speaker A: No, I know that. I'm trying to make another point, really. You know, the guy that made her pray at that point, it was so weird. And the way it was written and how she reacted to it. You knew, oh, you're guilty. [00:55:45] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that part. [00:55:46] Speaker A: You're the bad guy. [00:55:47] Speaker B: Let's talk about this. [00:55:48] Speaker F: Let's move on to other things. [00:55:49] Speaker A: Right. Let's pray. She wasn't on board with it. So you go, okay, that's obviously that. And then the birds thing. So by the end of it, what I'm getting at is you can either have something, a story told to you where you know where it's going and it ends up being there and you go, boo. Or all of that happens. And you go, I knew. But the ride was great. Yay. And that's what this was. I thought. I was not shocked by anything. [00:56:14] Speaker B: The Lillian question mark was, so are they just going to kill her? [00:56:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:18] Speaker B: Which the title of the show makes me think, probably not. [00:56:22] Speaker A: Probably not, right. [00:56:23] Speaker B: But how is she going to get out of this? [00:56:26] Speaker A: Right by the bird making him sick. It saves her life. [00:56:30] Speaker F: Thanks. [00:56:30] Speaker B: Infectious bird. [00:56:31] Speaker A: Yeah. But I think that's. [00:56:33] Speaker C: Now you all have to die. [00:56:36] Speaker A: The scene of her struggling when he's trying to push her down the stairs was visceral. I could see it. It was really nice. Nice is the weirdest thing I ever said about pushing an old lady. Down the stairs. But it was very much. I could visualize it, and it was a great amount. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Really liked that vision. [00:56:55] Speaker A: Yes. And I liked the vision of the old lady being pushed up. Wait a minute. I will say that the sound effects used for that fight scene were more sound effects than they used for the next six years in the show. [00:57:09] Speaker C: Well, that's down to Agnes Morehead and her ability to convey that desperation and horror. It's why they cast her so much on suspense, too. It's just unnerving. And you sense that she's fighting for her life. You don't at any point visualize two people sitting in a recording studio alone, writhing and screaming, stop pushing me. [00:57:35] Speaker A: Quit it. [00:57:38] Speaker C: I think I was less entertained by this than you guys. I get it. I went in there. It's like, 50th anniversary. Agnes Morehead. I want to love this, but I'm going to stick to my guns with being brutally honest on this podcast and in a fitting manner for CBS Radio mystery theater. I think it has strengths, but it has many of the weaknesses that are going to plague the series as it goes on for eight, nine years. To me, it did feel padded and it felt absent of stakes, partly due to something Tim just said. It's one of those boneheaded titles. [00:58:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:22] Speaker C: That tells you that the Agnes Moorhead character is not really at any kind of significant risk. [00:58:30] Speaker A: The original title of Star Wars, Darth Vader, is his father. [00:58:37] Speaker C: So the things I liked about it, first, I just liked Hyman Brown pandering to what he assumed would be his foundational audience, which was old people who still remembered radio. It's even in that wrap up with E. G. Marshall. He's like, so the next time you think criminals, that old people are an easy mark, remember they're tough and they'll fight back and they have deadly birds. [00:59:02] Speaker B: And they'll support advertising. [00:59:06] Speaker C: So I like that on that meta level. Also, old time radio is hard to kill. You thought it was gone. It comes back. [00:59:12] Speaker B: So I show thesis statements. [00:59:14] Speaker C: Yes, I appreciated that. And I really enjoyed the fight scene, like you said, but partly because the rest of it was so right. [00:59:22] Speaker A: It was very talky. [00:59:23] Speaker C: CBS RMT is. And I really liked the uncomfortable scene, even though it completely telegraphs who the bad guy is. When the businessman who's behind it all hears her mention that she wants to talk to a minister and he jumps on and thinks, oh, this is some daughtering old religious lady so I can manipulate her. It had really night of the hunter, evil preacher versus orphanage lady vibe. And I thought that was a good scene and a slightly disturbing one. Yeah. [00:59:56] Speaker A: I'm always disturbed when someone says, let's pray, but that's me. [01:00:00] Speaker C: It's usually well intended, unlike in this, depending on the scenario, it's not always, I'm going to kill you now. [01:00:07] Speaker A: No, it's always well intended, just awkward. But in this case, awkward and sinister. [01:00:14] Speaker C: Yes. And so I think it's a double edged sword, that scene, because it gives the game away. [01:00:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:20] Speaker C: And I think the suspense is supposed to hinge on, is she going to figure this out in time? I don't think the director, Hyman Brown, or the script is attempting to hide who the bad guys are and doing it poorly. I think it's a choice. It just makes for less entertainment. I thought the stakes were going to be a little different, particularly when the guy had been imprisoned wrongly. I thought, oh, this is going to be, we've got to get him out. [01:00:50] Speaker A: Right? [01:00:51] Speaker C: And then we find out he's dead and the tension sort of slackens there. And it's just a cold case that this character who's part Miss Marple, part the old lady who owns Tweety. [01:01:07] Speaker E: Okay, this is nice. [01:01:09] Speaker C: And Agnes Morehead's performance is nice, but it just moves at an old lady pace. [01:01:13] Speaker B: Those elements that you were describing, I bought into them and it started for me at the top where she learned, like, oh, this guy who just died made a confession of, I killed this guy. This other guy's free. That there's these slow steps of like, do I want to tell anyone about this? My business? I'll check into a little bit and like, oh, they're both dead. It doesn't really matter that I took it on faith, I guess, that this is going to bite her in the butt at some point, sooner or later. And all these things that are dissuading her from that, you don't have to pay attention to this. You could just let this go. Those are part of the threat to my ears when I was listening to this. So that deflation of tension worked for me, but it is still. I totally see a deflation of the tension. [01:02:02] Speaker A: I do think they made a mistake, though, in that when the second border shows up in the script and moves in, we can make all the assumptions and be accurate and correct. But to have him the phone call to confirm that he's the bad guy is unnecessary. Like, I would rather find out and confirm he's a bad guy through Agnes character finding out instead of through this. Okay, listen, I figured she's onto us, like, now he's the bad guy. We didn't need to have that confirmation phone call. And the reveal of that could have been much stronger through Agnes's eyes. [01:02:46] Speaker C: Here's where I do think the script is weak, is I think that third act needed to have the old lady hear that conversation. So the third act is filled with this tension that she knows. [01:02:58] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [01:02:59] Speaker C: But he doesn't know yet that she knows. And so that there's some kind of. [01:03:02] Speaker A: Negotiation that would work, too. [01:03:03] Speaker C: The third act would be good. That drags a little either way. [01:03:06] Speaker A: The phone call sucked. [01:03:08] Speaker C: But there would have been more of a purpose if he'd made that phone call and she had heard it or had accidentally picked up the other line. Then we're in. [01:03:16] Speaker A: Sorry, wrong. Then we're in. Sorry, wrong number. [01:03:18] Speaker C: Exactly. And maybe that's you're, as an old time radio fan, just have sorry, wrong number in your head and you hear Agnes Morehead playing a vulnerable character in which there's a murder plot that she stumbles on. That's where your mind goes. And that's a tough thing to be. [01:03:38] Speaker A: Compared to the end, but. [01:03:41] Speaker C: Parrot fever. [01:03:42] Speaker A: Parrot fever. Anybody bother to look it up? Real thing? Oh, I had to. [01:03:49] Speaker B: I just worked on parrot fever jokes. [01:03:53] Speaker C: By all means. I'm sure the parrot fever jokes are better than the actual. [01:03:56] Speaker A: John Travolta turned that movie down. [01:03:58] Speaker B: Yeah, the BG soundtrack was repeated over and over again. [01:04:05] Speaker C: But it appears to not be anywhere near as contagious. [01:04:11] Speaker A: You have to actually make out with a parrot? Yes. [01:04:15] Speaker C: It doesn't seem to be that. It's a miracle that she didn't get sick. [01:04:21] Speaker A: Okay, so it's a real thing, though. [01:04:23] Speaker C: Yes, but I'm very happy they didn't choose all the symptoms. Here's the list. Fever and chills, nausea and vomiting, muscle and joint pain, diarrhea, weakness, fatigue. And the last symptom is cough, typically dry. I didn't go back to test whether those were dry coughs. [01:04:45] Speaker A: So you just described my family's Christmas. We had all of those things. [01:04:53] Speaker B: Were you making out with parrots? [01:04:54] Speaker A: Well, yes. So what? [01:04:58] Speaker B: The traditional parrot makeout session. [01:05:01] Speaker A: When we received the twelve days of Christmas, there was a parrot in a pear tree. Right. [01:05:07] Speaker C: It was hard to listen to his hacking cough for as long as we had. [01:05:13] Speaker A: Okay, thank you for bringing up. [01:05:14] Speaker C: It is January, Minnesota. And it was just like, this is the sound of my life. As you just said. [01:05:19] Speaker A: Everywhere I wrote in my notes as I was listening to this, so much was I couldn't take it anymore. But I also didn't go, oh, this is terrible. I went, oh, they are creating a tension with me. I am tense. Good, because that's your intent, is to. [01:05:37] Speaker B: Make me well, because I was not clued into, like, this is obviously parrot fever. Now I'll make the assumption. I thought there was maybe some kind of going to work it around, come around the bend and like, oh, I've poisoned them both. [01:05:53] Speaker A: Okay, so I will say that I did have that in my head as well, that somehow Agnes Morehead is the evil person this entire time and she's that crazy old arsenic and old lace woman. [01:06:08] Speaker C: That thought crossed my mind as well. And I think, again, part of the disappointment. When he first started coughing, I got really excited. [01:06:16] Speaker A: But then it just kept going, that sentence alone. If we pulled that sentence out and made it my ringtone. [01:06:26] Speaker B: I mean, it's no throwing an old lady down the stairs, but it's still pretty exciting. [01:06:30] Speaker C: Very close, but yeah, I think. I did not say parrot fever specifically, but I thought it had to come around to the birds somehow. [01:06:41] Speaker B: Do you remember parrots were poisoning them? [01:06:43] Speaker A: Yes. Do you remember Julie London's cover of parrot fever? Parrot fever. [01:06:51] Speaker F: Parrot fever. Why have I known you this long. [01:06:57] Speaker A: And didn't know you could make that voice? [01:07:01] Speaker F: Parrot fever, where are you? [01:07:06] Speaker A: Curse me, I'm writing a script, that's all. Parrot. Just a parrot. [01:07:11] Speaker C: I don't think we can wrap this up without mentioning hyman Brown himself appearing to encourage folks to write in. I thought that was a nice little bit. It was fun to hear him. It was also fun to remember back to a time in which travel radios were cutting edge technology. That would be a prize. And that's something you threw at the thrift store as you drove by. [01:07:36] Speaker A: Throw it at it. Take that thrift store out. All right. Should we vote? Sure. I liked it. I liked it. A stick with. I agree with everything Joshua says, but I will stick with what I said at the beginning. And that is, I know where the journey was going. And it wasn't that surprising, but I thought it was well written and well acted. I didn't feel the unnecessary padding like I do in some other CBS RMT shows. And again, Glenn, we said it again in this opening. To all you people who are CBS RMT fans, we know they wrote 8000 of these every six minutes. It's hard to write. We're not ripping them. It's a really incredible endeavor. So it's a lot of talking and a lot of padding to fill up. 40 we know doesn't make it any more enjoyable sometimes. But this particular one, though, there's a lot of cvs RMT that felt. Oh, you just get to the point. I never felt that with this. And I had a lot of fun. Not a classic. [01:08:45] Speaker B: I'm going to shake some brains here. I think this is a classic. [01:08:48] Speaker A: Wow. We're porridge. Too hot, too cold and just right. [01:08:54] Speaker B: But for the weight of. We're going to create a script that is the inauguration of. This is a new era in audio theater. And for that, we're going to bring back Agnes Moorhead. We're going to pay homage to like. We're going to thematically try to hit the nail on the head of the old ones. Don't die. To try to hit the themes in a story that's entertaining. They had a big goal they were going for, and I thought they did it excellently. Even if this was just a random episode of radio that didn't have that context, maybe I'd feel like, yeah, pretty good. But with that context, I thought they did a fantastic job. [01:09:39] Speaker A: Great start to a 50 year run. [01:09:42] Speaker C: I thought it was long and kind of predictable. [01:09:46] Speaker B: Are you reviewing my review? [01:09:48] Speaker C: Yes. No, I agree with everything Tim said. I just think for all those reasons is why you might want to do a second draft. But I found it incredibly cozy. This would put me to sleep in ten minutes. This is the kind of stuff I like to listen to as I'm falling asleep and Agnes Moorhead throwing her down, coughing bird fever. But Agnes Moorhead's performance is great, as always. She's always incredibly committed. [01:10:24] Speaker A: Dreamed I made out with a parrot last night. [01:10:29] Speaker C: I don't know why I'm still voting. Historically significant, of course. Fun to listen to, but not a classic. Not a classic, but thank you, Glenn. Glenn got us because Glenn sent me these emails and I know you're not taking requests from people who aren't patrons, but this is the 50th anniversary. [01:10:52] Speaker A: He's right. We had to do it latest. [01:10:54] Speaker B: Like a fiddle. [01:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:10:55] Speaker C: And then he was like, and I've sent requests before and he never used them. Like, oh, guilt, end it. [01:11:00] Speaker A: Topical. [01:11:02] Speaker C: But I'm just telling you now, listeners, it won't work. [01:11:04] Speaker E: From now on, you got to be a patron. [01:11:07] Speaker C: But good job, Glenn. [01:11:09] Speaker A: Tim, tell him stuff. [01:11:10] Speaker B: Thanks for coming. That's not what I'm supposed to tell you. We hope you tell your friends about our show. No, this is the wrong spiel. Please visit ghoulishtolites.com, home of this podcast. You'll find other episodes there. You'll find information about our upcoming shows about our swag that you can buy and learn how you can become a patron and request shows the proper way. [01:11:33] Speaker A: Patreon yes. [01:11:36] Speaker C: Go to patreon.com themorals and please support this podcast. As we mentioned, going forward, if you want to recommend an episode for us to listen to, you've got to join at a certain tier on Patreon. But that's not all. When you go to Patreon, you find all sorts of excellent benefits, including additional Patreon only podcasts. Zoom happy hours, our Zoom book club. You get to join our mysterious old radio discord server. So many excellent things. So go do it. [01:12:12] Speaker A: If you'd like to see us performing live, the mysterious old radio listening society theater company does monthly performances, if sometimes even more than once a month. If you'd like to see us performing classic old time radio shows live on stage and a lot of our own original work, just go to ghoulishtolights.com and you'll see where we're performing each month and what we're performing each month and how to get tickets if you can't come see our shows. If you're a Patreon, we do film them and post them for our Patreon, so that's part of the perks of being a Patreon. Hey, what's coming up next? [01:12:46] Speaker C: Next we are going to continue our listen through of some classic first episodes. Well, we don't know if they're classic yet. The first episodes of classic radio series. And next we will be listening to an episode of Escape entitled Dead of Night. Until then. [01:13:09] Speaker A: You curse me.