Episode 306: The Crime of Bathsheba Spooner

[00:00:16] Speaker A: The mysterious old radio listening society podcast. Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:35] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:00:36] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:37] Speaker B: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:42] Speaker C: Today we return to the Listener Library for a recommendation from our mysterious listener, Emmett. [00:00:49] Speaker A: Emmett writes Crime Classics is the most underrated show of otr. I have a commute that takes me an hour each way. Don't fret. I have an electric vehicle. And the best few weeks I spent in that car were the ones when I heard Crime Classics for the first time. Play that one with Bathsheba. What a great mix of suspense and history. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Crime Classics debuted on CBS Radio June 15, 1953. As the title suggests, it was an anthology series featuring dramatizations of true crime stories ranging from truly classic cases like Jack the Ripper and the assassination of Abraham Lincoln to lesser known crimes such as the one we're listening to today. [00:01:27] Speaker C: The program was created, produced and directed by the prolific and multi talented Elliot Lewis. Scripts were by Morton S. Fine and David Friedkin, who at the same time were collaborating with Lewis on another radio series, Broadway Is My Beat. Not to be outdone, Lewis was simultaneously directing, producing and starring in a 3 3rd series for CBS, on stage with [00:01:53] Speaker D: Kathy and Elliot Lewis. [00:01:54] Speaker C: In fact, during the fall of 1953, crime classics and onstage were broadcast back to back. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Lewis, Fine and Friedkin approached the program's dark subject matter with an equally dark sense of humor. The droll tone was personified by the host and narrator, fictitious connoisseur of crime, Thomas Highland. Voice Veteran radioactor Lou Merrill played Hyland with a wry smile in his voice and an audibly arched eyebrow. [00:02:22] Speaker B: And now let's listen to the crime of Bathsheba Spooner, the debut episode of Crime classics, first broadcast July 20, 1953. [00:02:31] Speaker C: It's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker. Listen to the music and listen to the voices. [00:02:47] Speaker E: Good evening. This is Crime Classics. I am Thomas Hyland. Listen. The man in nondescript uniform dropping stones into that well is a mercenary soldier, more recently a deserter. He's testing the depth of the well. The only way he knows, since a length of rope is not immediately available and more complicated machines are as yet undiscovered. This is the year 1778. And the deserter is named James Buchanan. Next to him is his friend, another deserter, whose name is William Brooks. These men are in the employ of Mrs. Bathsheba Spooner of Brookfield, Massachusetts, whose well it is. Mrs. Spooner will pay these men immediately. They deposit the body of her murdered husband right down there. And tonight, my report to you on the crime of Bathsheba Spooner, the first woman to be tried for murder in the United States. [00:03:57] Speaker F: Crime Classics. A new series of true crime stories taken from the records and newspapers of every land, from every time. Your Host each week, Mr. Thomas Hyland, connoisseur of crime, student of violence and teller of murders. Now once again, Thomas Hyland. [00:04:27] Speaker E: The place is Brookfield, Massachusetts, the year 1778. Scene the home of Joshua and Bashe Ba Spooner. A large and respectable dwelling, two stories in height, situated on the north side of the road from Brookfield to Worcester. In the front of it and nearly opposite, on the south side of the road are stately elms and a well. And in the living room, there's this. [00:04:52] Speaker G: What manner of woman are you, Bathsheba? There's no content in you and no happiness. [00:04:55] Speaker H: And what happiness have you given me? A life that dies quickly. Cooking and sewing and from you drunken sleep. [00:05:03] Speaker G: And you've not answered me. You would like to see me dead, would you not? [00:05:06] Speaker H: Listen to me, Joshua. When you returned this morning from Worcester, my heart sank in me. I'd hoped you wouldn't come back. [00:05:12] Speaker G: That I would have an accident. That in some way I would be killed? [00:05:15] Speaker H: Yes. [00:05:16] Speaker G: That you would be free then to walk the town newly widowed with a wandering eye. [00:05:20] Speaker I: Yes. [00:05:21] Speaker G: And you. Listen, shrew. I am your husband. And I am your lover. And that's the way things are. [00:05:26] Speaker I: Old man. Old man. [00:05:41] Speaker H: Ezra. Ezra. [00:05:47] Speaker J: I've been waiting, Bathsheba. [00:05:50] Speaker H: Wait. [00:05:50] Speaker J: No more waiting, Bathsheba. The time I was away from you with your husband in Worcester, the thinking about you. [00:05:56] Speaker H: And there'll be more waiting until it's done. Until you kill him. [00:06:00] Speaker J: I tried, but I could not. [00:06:02] Speaker H: He asked me a question. My husband did. What manner of woman are you? He asked. Now I wonder, what manner of woman am I to love such as you? A youth, A boy who pretends to manhood. You without the courage to. [00:06:15] Speaker J: The poison you gave me, there was no opportunity, Bathsheba. [00:06:18] Speaker H: And a boy who lies. Opportunity. When it becomes nighttime, my husband becomes a drunkard. You know that. To empty the poison in the cup when you were with him. A simple thing like that. You couldn't do. [00:06:28] Speaker J: I swear it to you, Bathsheba. He'll die. [00:06:31] Speaker H: When? Go to him now. To the tavern where he is empty. The poison. [00:06:36] Speaker J: I. I threw the poison away. [00:06:41] Speaker H: With no courage, Bathsheba. Speak my name and bedevil yourself with it. [00:06:47] Speaker J: Just kiss me, Batsheva. [00:06:48] Speaker H: No kisses, no secret whisperings. None of that, no more until my husband is dead. Laugh, then. You'll see I mean it. [00:07:02] Speaker E: There's a wench, Bathsheba, at the other end of town. [00:07:06] Speaker J: And she watches me when I walk by. [00:07:08] Speaker H: Then go to her. [00:07:09] Speaker E: All right. [00:07:12] Speaker H: Wait. Don't leave me. [00:07:18] Speaker J: You almost let me go. [00:07:20] Speaker H: Boy. [00:07:21] Speaker J: Boy. You. Bathsheba. Kill him. Kill my husband later. [00:07:39] Speaker E: And that was Bathsheba Spooner. You've come to know her pretty well. You've seen her hating. You've seen her loving. There's more you should know. She was the sixth child of an illustrious man, General Ruggles. The general was a man of great wealth and lived in a style of unusual luxury. For that day, he kept 30 horses and had a park of 20 acres for deer and a pack of hounds for the amusement of numerous visitors. He was a man intensely loyal to the British Crown and never hid his loyalties. And so, at the outbreak of the Revolutionary War, he was forced to give up his estate and to leave the country. His married life was also pretty bad and he and his wife did not set a good example to his children in their conjugal relations. Bathsheba sprang from that kind of a household. Her Loyalist background in time of war and the very fact of the name she had Bathsheba were sufficient cause for the town in which she lived to view her with alarm. But keep this in mind. Bathsheba Spooner is going to murder her husband. How? Well, let's see how time and motive and circumstance conspire to get a man violently dead. The man, Joshua Spooner. Let's pick him up and see what he's doing. It's the same evening, and since it's after dark, he's drinking. And in Brookfield, there's only one public house in which to drink. Cooley's Tavern. And that's where he is. [00:09:05] Speaker G: Oh, no, no, no, Doctor. Then what would you do to trap General Burgoyne? Very simple. Hand me your tanker, Dr. King. Now and here, this spoon. The line of march of Burgoyne and your tankard and mine. Two sections of the troops of General Washington. No ice. And that's how we take care of general burgoy. Yeah. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:37] Speaker G: Barkeep. More al. [00:09:45] Speaker E: Joshua Spooner talks of strategies and drinks his ale. But mark this. Near the bar, another table, two men. Men in nondescript uniforms. Deserters from the army of General Burgoyne. Their names? James Buchanan and William Brooks. They've made known the fact that they've deserted the enemy, so their drinks are on the house and the appreciative customers. They're having a fine time. [00:10:10] Speaker K: Drink. Drink your ale, Will. Make me a toast and I'll drink with you. [00:10:15] Speaker L: And a toast you shall get. Burgoyne is a skir. [00:10:18] Speaker K: Louder, Will, Louder. Else we'll pay for our own ale. [00:10:22] Speaker L: I A toast? [00:10:26] Speaker K: Aye, I'll give you a toast to [00:10:28] Speaker L: that scurvy plump bellied Burgoyne. May he rot in the wilderness. [00:10:36] Speaker K: That is, if he don't drown coming across the St. Lawrence. Gentlemen, and a merry evening to you. [00:10:45] Speaker G: Joshua Spooner is my name and it would do me proud, if you would permit me. [00:10:50] Speaker L: Ale is what we're drinking, sir. [00:10:53] Speaker G: Hail for the patriarchs and patriots. [00:10:56] Speaker K: We are indeed. [00:10:57] Speaker M: Goodness. [00:10:57] Speaker E: Oh, yes. [00:10:58] Speaker L: We join General Washington, sir, and his colonials. You should know that. And from here we go to Worcester where a column of Washington's parties. Oh, ayo to you, sir, and thanks to you. [00:11:13] Speaker G: My pleasure, [00:11:20] Speaker K: Willie Bach, your tankard is dry and so is mine. [00:11:23] Speaker G: If you will permit me, gentlemen. It would be my pleasure. My pleasure indeed. [00:11:34] Speaker E: It would be Mr. Spooner's pleasure indeed to buy the lads more ale, as was the custom. True, it was 1778, but the etiquette was the same. Nothing too good for our boys. And the deserters in Cooley's bar were off to join our boys. As a matter of fact, it was Mr. Spooner's pleasure to direct James Buchanan and William Brooks to Worcester to become soldiers in Washington's army. It just happened that one of the landmarks that Mr. Spooner gave the lads went something like this. [00:12:04] Speaker G: Now, mark you a file of elms and a well. And across the road from it, my house. When you pass there, you'll be leaving Brookfield and you will know you're on your way. We'll have another ale before you leave. [00:12:22] Speaker K: You're a gentleman if I ever met one. [00:12:25] Speaker L: Oh, a true one, James, my lad, a real gentleman. [00:12:38] Speaker E: So they touched tankards, the deserters and Joshua Spooner. And they made tearful farewell. And the deserters left and walked the road toward where the elms were and the house and a well, let's go on ahead of them. Let's get back to the Lady Bathsheba's home. Bathsheba is fixing her hair and the Youth, Ezra. He's tying into it. Night ribbons. A lover's tender gesture. Their talk, however, is shocking. [00:13:08] Speaker H: Perhaps you're right. Perhaps the best way is not to poison him. [00:13:13] Speaker J: I say shoot him. [00:13:14] Speaker H: Perhaps in such a way as to make it appear as an accident. Will you shoot him, Ezra? Tightly with the riband ear, Ezra. [00:13:24] Speaker J: I. I have not the courage for it. [00:13:28] Speaker H: But you know of guns and shooting. You were in the army For a year. [00:13:31] Speaker J: I marched. I shot no one. I marched upon an ambush and was wounded myself. I never pulled a trigger. [00:13:38] Speaker H: If not you to kill him, Ezra, then someone, yes. [00:13:43] Speaker J: Turn from your mirror, Bathsheba, and look at me. [00:13:48] Speaker I: Oh, listen. [00:13:50] Speaker H: Do you hear? [00:13:52] Speaker J: Yes. [00:13:53] Speaker E: Drunkards. [00:13:55] Speaker H: Someone go to the window. [00:13:59] Speaker L: Drunkards. [00:14:01] Speaker J: Two of them by the moon. British deserters. I've seen them in town. Call to them, Bathsheba. [00:14:06] Speaker H: Call to them. [00:14:08] Speaker G: Hello. You there. [00:14:11] Speaker K: What do you want? [00:14:12] Speaker H: I'll talk to them. [00:14:14] Speaker J: A lady wants to talk to you. [00:14:16] Speaker L: A lady has a ladies service anytime. [00:14:20] Speaker H: Let them in, Ezra. [00:14:30] Speaker E: The Bathsheba Spooner who greeted the deserters must have been quite a sight. Tall, long hair and blue ribbons. There must have been a fire in the fireplace. And in all probability she was standing in front of it. Her manner was gracious and she was smiling. Ezra served the liquor. All in all, it was the nicest thing that could possibly have happened to two fellows who had deserted. General Burgoyne. [00:14:54] Speaker H: And now, gentlemen, a question. [00:14:56] Speaker L: We bow. Bow. James, my lad. Say on. [00:15:02] Speaker J: M'. [00:15:02] Speaker L: Lady. [00:15:03] Speaker H: How would you gentlemen like £500 to see you on your long journey? [00:15:08] Speaker K: Mere Renault would warm the cockles, wouldn't it, Will? [00:15:12] Speaker M: Twould. [00:15:13] Speaker L: Does that answer you, my lady? [00:15:15] Speaker H: And what would you do for it? [00:15:16] Speaker K: There is nothing that Will and I have not done. And for less handsome payment from less handsome women, far less. [00:15:25] Speaker H: Kill my husband. [00:15:27] Speaker L: This lad. The one you call Ezra. [00:15:29] Speaker K: Come here, lad. Them extra skinny ones don't take long for twisting. [00:15:34] Speaker H: Not him. Not Ezra. [00:15:37] Speaker L: Not him. [00:15:38] Speaker G: They knew. [00:15:40] Speaker H: My husband will return from his drinking. Will you wait for him? Kill him when he returns. Meet him outside at the door and greet him, will you? [00:15:54] Speaker L: Not only for the money, dear lady, but with the pleasure of your presence to two tired soldiers. [00:16:03] Speaker K: Right, Jane. It's the truth. [00:16:26] Speaker L: You be the master of this house. [00:16:29] Speaker G: Yeah. And you are the two that we be. [00:16:43] Speaker K: This one was a struggler. [00:16:44] Speaker E: Hey, Will, that's a woman. [00:16:46] Speaker L: The one she calls Ezra. [00:16:48] Speaker K: Hi, Misses Spooner. Come see, it is done. And a tidy job if I say so myself, Mrs. Spooner. [00:17:07] Speaker H: And now he's dead. [00:17:09] Speaker J: What will you do with him? [00:17:11] Speaker H: There's a well across the road. [00:17:13] Speaker J: Aye. [00:17:14] Speaker L: Give us hand, James. [00:17:15] Speaker F: And you, Ezra. [00:17:19] Speaker J: There. [00:17:21] Speaker H: I'll walk with you. [00:17:34] Speaker L: Ah, it's a deep well. [00:17:40] Speaker H: Poor little man. [00:17:48] Speaker E: And that's how Joshua Spooner died. And that's how Bathsheba Spooner killed him. [00:18:06] Speaker F: You are listening to Crime Classics and your host, Thomas Hyland. Later this evening, the Lux Summer theater stars Fred McMurray in a full hour adaptation of the romantic mystery comedy the lady and the Tumblers. An odd triangle composed of a beautiful [00:18:21] Speaker E: girl, a suitcase full of explosive letters [00:18:24] Speaker F: and a murdered man will make the lady and the Tumblers most unusual dramatic, fair. Listen to it on most of these same stations later this evening when CBS radio presents the Lux summer Theater. And now once again, Thomas Highland and the second act of Crime classics and his report to you on the crime of Bathsheba Spooner. [00:18:57] Speaker E: Listen to this. It's awful. And dread this tale that I tell. Joshua Spooner lies dead in a well in brookfield town in 78. From Six Stout Wax across the pate. Small poem by an anonymous contributor to the Worcester Spy, the local newspaper of the day. A change of scene. Now across the road from a cold well into a warm living room. Tableau. Four people. [00:19:25] Speaker L: Mr. Spooner was such an elegant man. What will become of his clothes in his closet? And his horse? [00:19:33] Speaker H: You may have them. [00:19:34] Speaker J: Come away from the window, Bathsheba. Here to me close. [00:19:39] Speaker H: The stars are dancing. [00:19:42] Speaker J: You're shivering. Are you cold? [00:19:44] Speaker H: No. [00:19:45] Speaker K: Will is very weary. Widow Spooner. We'll not go on to Worcester tonight. [00:19:51] Speaker H: Then wait till morning. You can make a place for yourselves in the barn. [00:19:54] Speaker L: But the money we'll have now and the clothes. And yours. [00:19:58] Speaker H: Yes, all of it. Ezra. [00:20:00] Speaker E: Yes. [00:20:01] Speaker H: In the morning you will go to Cooley's tavern. Inquire of Joshua. Tell them he's not been home. Tell them I'm frantic for his welfare. [00:20:09] Speaker E: Yes. [00:20:13] Speaker H: Good night, gentlemen. A very good night, [00:20:37] Speaker J: Mr. Cooley. [00:20:38] Speaker G: Aye. Hot grog on a nippy. Morning, Mr. Ross. [00:20:40] Speaker J: I've been sent to inquire of Joshua Spooner. [00:20:43] Speaker E: Who sent you? [00:20:44] Speaker J: The wife of him. Bathsheba. [00:20:46] Speaker E: Did she now? [00:20:47] Speaker J: Why, last night he did not return home. And Mrs. Spooner is frantic for his welfare. [00:20:52] Speaker G: Not home? Well, he's not here. Last night he sat right there, my lad, and discussed military strategies with the doctor. Then, to the best of my knowledge, he went home. [00:21:02] Speaker J: Dr. King. Doctor. Doctor. Wake. Wake up. Please, Doctor. Wake up. It's important. What is it? [00:21:11] Speaker E: What? [00:21:11] Speaker J: Where is Joshua Spooner? [00:21:13] Speaker E: Where is he? [00:21:14] Speaker J: Mr. Cooley says he sat with you. [00:21:15] Speaker E: Last night, as indeed he did, and left me. [00:21:19] Speaker J: He's not home? [00:21:20] Speaker I: Yes. [00:21:21] Speaker J: Mrs. Buna sent me to fetch him. She's troubled that he's not returned. [00:21:24] Speaker E: But where else could he have gone [00:21:25] Speaker K: if not to his wife? [00:21:26] Speaker J: We must find him, doctor. [00:21:28] Speaker E: Yes, yes, by all means. Ezra did that very well. With the precise shading of alarm in his voice, the concern. A man on an errand for a troubled lady. Everybody was impressed. Mr. Cooley closed his bar. Dr. King appealed to the neighborliness of the other customers and everybody went looking for Joshua Spooner. Immediately they called on Mrs. Spooner whom they found in the greatest apparent distress upon an examination of the premises in the neighborhood of the doorstep they observed the tracks of several persons on the snow. And on further search they found Mr. Spooner. You know where? In the well. So far, only horror and suspicions. But now let's pick up Willie and James. They haven't left Brookfield. Stupid of them, isn't it? But then you've got to examine it from their point of view. Why become soldiers in Washington's army, especially in the winter and suffer the privations of the military when they could be warm and rich as a civilian? So imagine it. Two tatterdemalion deserters suddenly elegant in Mr. Spooner's clothes which were somewhat tight fitting. But elegance and tight fitting are somehow akin. Now. There lived in Brookfield a certain wench whose name is lost in history. This much is known about her. She had an eye for tight elegance. This much is known about her too that she went riding with Willie and James on their newly acquired horse. [00:23:11] Speaker I: I left you down now, Jane. No, no. [00:23:16] Speaker K: Give us a bus, dearie. That's a dearie. [00:23:22] Speaker I: Well? [00:23:22] Speaker G: Aye. [00:23:23] Speaker I: How is it we are riding Mr. Spooner's horse? [00:23:26] Speaker L: Why, dearie, we don't know a Mr. Spooner. [00:23:31] Speaker I: Aren't these Mr. Spooner's silver buckles? [00:23:34] Speaker E: No. [00:23:36] Speaker I: Aren't you wearing his clothes? [00:23:38] Speaker K: These are our clothes, dearie. Come, let's ride some more. It brings the pink to your pretty cheeks. [00:23:52] Speaker E: But the cat was out of the bag. The girl told her mother and her mother her father. And it so happened that her father was at that moment on his way to look for the murderers of Joshua Spooner. So the father told some neighbors and they located James. And Willie brought them all together, the two deserters, Ezra and Bathsheba. And this is what happened. [00:24:21] Speaker M: The jurors for the government and people of Massachusetts Bay in New England upon their oath present that William Brooks and James Buchanan and Ezra Ross in the county of Essex not having God before their eyes, an assault did make upon Joshua Spooner feloniously, willfully and of their malice aforethought on the first day of March last past with force and arms also by striking, beating and kicking aforesaid Joshua Spooner so as to inflict several mortal bruises of which Joshua Spooner died. And that Bathsheba Spooner, widow and late wife of Joshua Spooner, being seduced by the instigation of the devil did incite, move, abet, counsel and procure the murder of aforesaid Joshua Spooner. How do you plead? [00:25:11] Speaker J: Not guilty. [00:25:12] Speaker K: Not guilty. Not guilty. [00:25:16] Speaker M: What statement have you, Bathsheba Spooner? [00:25:20] Speaker H: I am the wife of the deceased. If what you accuse me of be true, what end could the death of my husband serve? Were there any reasons persuading, hopes, inviting or advantages arising from the death of my husband? By depriving myself of husband, I would subject myself to the burdens of a widow. If I hated my husband, as such has been said, could I not have separated from him gone to my father or to my brothers? What foolishness is this to say I've loved Ezra Ross when one of my station might have any gallant I. Please, gentlemen, if I be guilty, I was not of sound mind. [00:26:15] Speaker M: To the sheriff of our county of Essex, Greetings. We command you that on Thursday, the 4th day of June next, between the hours of 12 and 4 of the clock in the afternoon, you cause William Brooks, James Buchanan, Ezra Ross and Bathsheba Spooner to be conveyed from our jail, where they are now in your custody, to the usual place of execution and there to be hanged by the neck until their bodies be dead. [00:26:49] Speaker E: The motive, the crime and the sentence. Justice was simple and quickly, too quickly for the four prisoners. The fourth day of June. This is a copy of the Worcester Spy, dated that day that I have here. I'd like to read from. Was about half past two of the clock in the afternoon when the four criminals were brought out of prison and conducted to the place of execution under a guard of 100 men. The three men went on foot. Mrs. Spooner was carried in a chaise, being then, as she had been for several days, exceedingly feeble. The procession was regular and solemn. Just before they reached the place of execution one of the most terrific thunderstorms that had incurred within the mem of the oldest inhabitant darkened the heavens. There followed an awful the loud shouts of the officers amidst the crowd of 5,000 people the horses pressing upon those in front, the shrieks of the women in the tumult and confusion. The malefactors slowly advancing to the fatal creed, Preceded by the dismal coffins, the fierce coruscations of the lightning athwart the darkened horizon, quickly followed by loud peace thunder conspired together and produced a dreadful scene of horror. It seemed as if the author of nature had added such terrors to the punishment of the criminals as might soften the stoutest heart of the most obdurate. And abandoned at length, the place of execution having been reached, Ross, Buchanan and Brooks ascended the latter to the stage. [00:28:27] Speaker J: Our Father, who which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. [00:28:33] Speaker E: Ross made an audible prayer. The other two were engaged in silent devotions until they faced the noose. Mrs. Spooner, as she approached the tree, was seen to bow gracefully to many of the spectators with whom she had been acquainted. Then she crept up the ladder on her hands and knees. When the eyes of the malefactors were covered and all was ready, Mrs. Spooner took the sheriff by the hand and for the first time, Bathsheba Spooner accepted the verdict of justice. [00:29:04] Speaker H: My dear sir, I am ready. In a little time I expect to be in bliss. And but a few years must elapse when I hope I shall see you and my other friends again. [00:29:21] Speaker G: It. [00:30:02] Speaker E: And that's the way the newspaper recorded it. This has been my report of the crime of Bathsheba Spooner, the first woman tried and executed for murder in the United States. [00:30:33] Speaker F: In just a moment, Thomas Hyland will tell you about next week's crime classic. The national Blood program has been made part of the Department of Defense. That's how vital a continuing growing stockpile is against emergencies of war or peace. In the warm weather months, donations fall off. In the first week of June alone, donations drop 20%. This must be offset immediately. Before you go away, please phone the Red Cross for an appointment to give a pint of blood. You will enjoy your vacation more for having done it. And here again is Thomas Highland. [00:31:08] Speaker E: Next week we'll be with you at the same time, although geography and year will change. The place. Pimlico, England. The year 1879. My report on the shockingly peaceful passing of Thomas Edwin Bartlett, greengrocer. Thank you. Good night. [00:31:30] Speaker A: That was the crime of Bathsheba Spooner from crime Classics here on the mysterious old radio listening society podcast once again. I'm Eric. [00:31:39] Speaker B: I'm Tim. [00:31:39] Speaker C: And I'm Joshua. [00:31:41] Speaker A: And our thanks to our mysterious listener, Emmett for that recommendation. As we delved into our listener library of requests, as we headed back into crime classics, we did frame hanger or whatever it was called. [00:31:56] Speaker B: Death of a Picture Hanger. [00:31:57] Speaker A: Yeah, Death of a Picture Hanger. And what other ones did we do? [00:32:01] Speaker B: If a body need a body, just call Broken Hair. [00:32:03] Speaker A: That's right. [00:32:04] Speaker B: And then there was the tart one. [00:32:05] Speaker C: The tart one, yes. [00:32:07] Speaker D: We always forget the title of it, but it was very early days of the podcast. [00:32:11] Speaker A: Ah, yes, man who Sold Tarts. [00:32:13] Speaker D: No, that's an escape episode. [00:32:15] Speaker A: That's an escape episode. [00:32:17] Speaker B: We're not moving on to this episode. [00:32:19] Speaker D: Yes, we are, Tim. This is an intervention, old man. We'll never remember the name of that episode. [00:32:24] Speaker A: In the opening, we mentioned this is the debut. Was this the first episode of Crime Classics? [00:32:30] Speaker C: Yes, I think there was another version of it that was the audition, but [00:32:34] Speaker D: I chose the broadcast episode. Just. It was of slightly better quality, but it wasn't much different from what I could tell. [00:32:42] Speaker B: Bunny Bombler, his close brush with fame. [00:32:45] Speaker A: That's right. [00:32:46] Speaker D: Sorry, do you have Tourette's? [00:32:51] Speaker A: The word tarts now is not even in it. [00:32:53] Speaker F: Not. [00:32:53] Speaker B: It's not. I was totally wrong. [00:32:56] Speaker A: But he sells tarts. [00:32:57] Speaker B: I think he sold tarts. [00:32:58] Speaker A: Okay. So anyway, they. This is all very crime classic. This is formulaic for the series, and that is a compliment. I like this series for how consistent it is with itself. The reason I asked if this was indeed the first episode, because, wow, they hit the ground running. [00:33:18] Speaker C: I agree. It's fully formed. [00:33:20] Speaker A: This is fully formed coming out of the gates, and it doesn't veer from this. And I think that's really rare and really interesting. If you go back and listen to our first podcast episode, you know, there's some. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Yeah, we were pretty good, but we weren't. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Well, I was. But, you know, everything has a metamorphosis. Everything has an evolution to it, and it changes as it goes, and you figure out what works and doesn't work. This could have been any crime classic, and I wouldn't known. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:49] Speaker A: So I find that really interesting. [00:33:51] Speaker C: I also find it interesting that there's a great line from Thomas Hyland that [00:33:56] Speaker D: could be the elevator pitch for the whole series in here, when he says, [00:34:01] Speaker C: let's see how time and motive and circumstance conspire to get a man violently dead. And that's kind of the tone and [00:34:11] Speaker D: the way each story is approached. It always moves in an interesting way [00:34:18] Speaker C: back and forth through time, particularly when [00:34:21] Speaker D: it starts with that great line of listen. And then we get one really narratively important sound effect. [00:34:30] Speaker C: And here it's really great because they [00:34:31] Speaker D: do such a nice structure where we start at that well testing the depth [00:34:37] Speaker C: of it with the stones. [00:34:38] Speaker D: And then the first half backs up and gets us all the way back to the well. [00:34:44] Speaker C: And we already knew from the top [00:34:45] Speaker D: that, oh, it's a well where they're going to throw the body of Joshua Spooner. That's what's impressive about it. [00:34:51] Speaker C: It still gets a lot of engagement [00:34:54] Speaker D: for something that opens by telling us everything is gonna happen essentially and then gets us up to that point halfway through. And then we are left eager to hear how it all turns out. [00:35:06] Speaker B: It took me a while. Cause one of the soldiers was Zachary Taylor. Did I get the name right? I'm like, yeah. Is that President Zachary Taylor? [00:35:12] Speaker C: No one's James Buchanan. [00:35:14] Speaker B: James Buchanan. [00:35:14] Speaker E: Thank you. [00:35:15] Speaker D: Yes. [00:35:15] Speaker A: It was Gerald Ford. [00:35:17] Speaker J: Wow. [00:35:18] Speaker B: I never knew he killed a Gerald [00:35:20] Speaker C: Ford and Bill Clinton. It was really weird team up. [00:35:23] Speaker A: Tripped and fell on him. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Dropped him in a well. [00:35:26] Speaker A: Yeah. He, Gerald Ford tripped into the well, fell on the guy that was in the well. [00:35:33] Speaker K: That's. [00:35:33] Speaker B: And then he was hung. [00:35:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:35] Speaker D: And Bill was just eating French fries the whole time. [00:35:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Little known story but all the presidents died in that well [00:35:44] Speaker D: called the well of Presidents. [00:35:45] Speaker B: They should not keep going back to that well. [00:35:49] Speaker A: Should we vote? [00:35:50] Speaker G: Yes. [00:35:53] Speaker D: There's so many great scenes in this though. This is all a show about details. [00:35:58] Speaker B: Is that every episode of Crime Classics we've listened to. I think I have the same heaping praise comments that are the exact same comments. Which is frustrating because I really enthusiastically like this and I wish I could like it in a different way. [00:36:13] Speaker C: Like I really want to hate this. [00:36:14] Speaker B: Like unlike all the other ones, this is good in a other different way. [00:36:18] Speaker A: So what I was trying to say at the top of this, like the formula of it is exactly the same. [00:36:24] Speaker B: And to Emmett's message to us. This might secretly be my desert island radio series. Every one of these I've heard has just been joyous and delightful. And even when I know what happens, like you were saying in the story. We know what happens in this story from the get go. But it still always feels like a surprise and a discovery because it's full [00:36:48] Speaker C: of unexpected great little scenes throughout. [00:36:52] Speaker D: And that's what keeps you tuned in. Either they're surprises. Like the brutality of the two of those deserters killing Joshua Spooner. [00:37:04] Speaker C: There's all this sort of wrangling to get them there. And then they're like, oh, welcome home Joshua. And he's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Dead. [00:37:11] Speaker K: Yeah. [00:37:12] Speaker D: And that's not how I would have expected that scene to go. [00:37:16] Speaker B: Yes. [00:37:16] Speaker C: And there is just great comedy scenes [00:37:20] Speaker D: like the deserters who realize if they just keep deriding the British general, they will just keep getting free drinks. And there's another great line from Thomas Highland in that scene about, it was [00:37:33] Speaker C: 1778, but the etiquette was the same. Nothing too good for our boys. And it's surprisingly adult in its depictions [00:37:47] Speaker D: of the affairs and sexuality. [00:37:50] Speaker C: I mean, it doesn't say anything outright, but the negotiation between Ezra and Bathsheba, [00:37:58] Speaker D: when Ezra says, like, there's a wench who was giving me the eye. And then she changes tactics really quickly and is purring in his ear, kill my husband. And when he says later, it's so full of suggestion. [00:38:15] Speaker C: And even that image, they come out, they made pancakes. [00:38:17] Speaker D: Yes, they made great pancakes together. [00:38:19] Speaker C: And just that scene, that clearly post [00:38:22] Speaker D: coital scene of them discussing other ways than poison, they might kill Joshua while he's tying ribbons in her hair. And even the scene where she invites the deserters in and the narrator describes [00:38:37] Speaker C: how she's standing behind what was probably [00:38:40] Speaker D: a fire and he does everything but [00:38:42] Speaker C: saying, backlit through her nightgown, thin, muslin gown. So to me, those are the surprising [00:38:50] Speaker D: little scenes in where this all comes to life for me, those unexpected ways of presenting the story. I don't want to monopolize the entire podcast, but I think, particularly in the second half is when it really shows [00:39:02] Speaker B: off, in my opinion, her arc of I'm just this horrible person to I will never admit that I did it. My health slowly declines. I can barely make up the stairs to my own execution. And then just announcing, I'm going to a better place. I look forward to seeing you all there soon. [00:39:19] Speaker D: Yes, you bastards. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Right? [00:39:25] Speaker C: And just the choice, whether or not. [00:39:27] Speaker D: I have no idea. Maybe they actually found an old, very hyperbolic newspaper account of the time, or they cleverly wrote it in that style, [00:39:37] Speaker C: but presenting it all in that language, [00:39:40] Speaker D: that very flowery, melodramatic yellow journalism of the day, including the thunderstorm, God's wrath that appeared, which then allows them to have great audio sound for it. [00:39:54] Speaker B: That sound effect, all those big dramatic moments that are such a stark contrast to the cool, even tone that that's the structure of the show, like every Thomas Hyland is so chill and dry, and then horrible things happen, and then characters are just kind of chill and dry and then like thunderstorm and then noose, drop, noose drop, noose, drop, noose drop, one after the other. And each based on the audience reaction is more grisly than the next, than [00:40:25] Speaker C: the first and this whole second half [00:40:26] Speaker D: opens with that great poem. [00:40:29] Speaker C: Again, whether it was really a poem [00:40:31] Speaker D: that the writers dug up from the. Seems like it was the Wooster Spy. [00:40:35] Speaker B: Yeah, very credible. [00:40:36] Speaker D: A fantastic little bit of verse that, [00:40:39] Speaker C: again, just sets the tone. But occasion, like you said, sets the wrong tone. [00:40:43] Speaker D: So then you're kind of laughing a little bit, and then it gets so dark and so harsh. [00:40:48] Speaker C: The other thing I really like is that the narrator steps in and comments [00:40:53] Speaker D: on the narrative when the deserters don't leave town. Like, they get their money, they get the clothes from Joshua Spooner, and then [00:41:01] Speaker C: just ride this horse around, ride his horse around, hang out with the town wench. [00:41:06] Speaker D: And Thomas Hyland actually says, pretty stupid, huh? [00:41:10] Speaker C: And so this sent me down a [00:41:13] Speaker D: completely other rabbit hole. [00:41:14] Speaker C: Because then when they're pretty stupid high, I'm like, I wonder if that's just them commenting on. We're just stuck with what really happened. And sure enough, that is how they got caught. Yeah, according to what I read, they were in. [00:41:27] Speaker D: They went back to the tavern and [00:41:29] Speaker C: they were wearing these silver shoe buckles that had Joseph Spooner's initials on them. It was actually stupider than what they depicted. [00:41:39] Speaker D: I was reminded audio drama in that [00:41:41] Speaker A: moment when he said, pretty stupid. NPR did a story on the production assistance for those live cop shows like Cops. Apparently, as they're running and chasing and pulling people over, anybody that may have gotten into the camera shot, right, they have to run behind the cops. So there's cameras. All this been way behind are all these production assistants with pieces of paper and pens saying, would you sign this release? And if they don't get them, they can't show their face. And the guy asks her, one of these productionists, she's 22 or whatever, and young, and says, but the criminals are always. When they're arrested, we always see their face. She goes, yeah, we have to run up to them. And at certain point, we put a piece of paper in front of him. You know, we're filming this. And he goes. And they sign it while they're being arrested. And she goes, yep, 99% of the time. And he says, why would they do that? And she said, because criminals are stupid. And I was always struck by how sincere and how duh she said that to the guy. Like, yeah, we just hand it to him. And they, yeah, I'll sign that. And they do almost every time. But anyway, that moment where he said, aren't they stupid? Reminded me of, yeah, criminals are stupid. [00:43:01] Speaker C: To Tim's point about how she lacked Any remorse at the end. [00:43:07] Speaker D: It's fascinating what they left out of this oh, wow, historical account, simply because it's too dark for 1950s radio. And it will give you great empathy for Bathsheba Spooner. Ezra got Bathsheba pregnant, and that is what started the clock ticking on getting rid of her husband. [00:43:32] Speaker C: Because in 1778, you know, English common law is still in practice, and if a woman is proven, and that's in scare quotes, proven to be an adulteress, she could be stripped to the waist and flogged in the street. [00:43:50] Speaker D: And so it was now kind of [00:43:51] Speaker C: a self preservation mode that she went into. [00:43:54] Speaker D: And what's fascinating about it, she is then tried. [00:43:58] Speaker C: And she's not only the first woman [00:44:00] Speaker D: to be tried for murder in the [00:44:01] Speaker C: colonies, it's the first insanity plea that they tried. [00:44:06] Speaker D: Their defense said, this woman clearly has a disordered mind. [00:44:10] Speaker C: That didn't work. [00:44:11] Speaker D: And then she did tell people she was pregnant because the law was, after the Quickening, you couldn't execute someone to protect the baby. The baby, the fetus's life. [00:44:22] Speaker C: And she was then inspected by a group of like six midwives and two men as well. [00:44:29] Speaker D: And they all said, nope, she's not pregnant. And they threw her in jail. This hanging was really quick too. It was like very fast. [00:44:37] Speaker C: And so she was visited by a reverend who heard her story, and he [00:44:41] Speaker D: came back out and used his power [00:44:42] Speaker C: to say, no, look, she's pregnant. You need to do this again. And so they got the same group back. They added a few more midwives to it, I think. And maybe three or four of this [00:44:54] Speaker D: large group said, yeah, we do think she's pregnant. But the others still claimed no. And so the judge was like, well, [00:44:59] Speaker C: since we can't decide, we still have to hang her. But the compromise is, and it's included in the story, she doesn't have to [00:45:06] Speaker D: walk to the gallows. We'll let her ride in a carriage since she might be pregnant. [00:45:13] Speaker C: So that gives a little more light [00:45:16] Speaker D: to her attitude at the end why [00:45:19] Speaker B: I think I need to kill my husband. [00:45:20] Speaker C: Or also that she was forced into [00:45:22] Speaker D: that situation as well. And then, of course, an autopsy was done and she was five months pregnant. [00:45:28] Speaker C: And they suspect again that it goes back to what the story mentions. [00:45:31] Speaker D: She comes from a Loyalist family, and this is 1778, and there were people who had axes to grind against the people who sided with the British. [00:45:41] Speaker A: Right. [00:45:42] Speaker E: Wow. [00:45:42] Speaker C: Yeah. So it's a much darker, even story [00:45:46] Speaker D: than presented here in good old crime classics. [00:45:51] Speaker C: But there's an interesting moment too, in her performance once the killing has been done. And I don't know if there's, like, ways they were trying to find to sort of suggest some of these things, [00:46:00] Speaker D: not specifically telegraph anything like a pregnancy. [00:46:04] Speaker C: I'm pregnant. I don't think they were doing that. But she is so quiet and somber [00:46:10] Speaker D: once it's done, when she's giving the directions to take the money, take his clothes. [00:46:16] Speaker C: Yeah, get out of town. [00:46:18] Speaker D: So anyway, this is the first time in a crime Classics that I've actually gone and done the research on the real crime. And it added a whole level of insight into the script and what they. I mean, they had to have wanted to put that in the story at the time and knew they couldn't. That's just a captivating story. [00:46:35] Speaker A: Thank you. That was better than the crime classics. [00:46:38] Speaker D: Oh, you're such a jerk. [00:46:41] Speaker A: No, it's a compliment. [00:46:42] Speaker C: Okay. [00:46:43] Speaker A: That was fascinating. [00:46:44] Speaker B: I mean, that was fantastic for you. [00:46:48] Speaker A: Well, should we vote? I loved it. It's fantastic. Crime Classics is very good. And this is really well done. Yay. It was great. Yeah. [00:46:57] Speaker B: I mean, I suppose if they could see into the future to know that someday there will be a podcast that labels things occasionally as classics. And they had the nerve to say, like all of ours, classics, crime classics, I would say well played classic. I haven't heard them all yet, but they all seem like these are classics. They're really well done. Their tone is so, as we said, individual, so singular and so enjoyable. [00:47:25] Speaker D: Like I say, every time we listen to crime classics, it's in the name. [00:47:28] Speaker C: Like I said, it is a classic. And I realize this is going to [00:47:31] Speaker D: vary greatly, you know, depending on people's tastes. I realize it might be too weird [00:47:37] Speaker C: or too slow for people. [00:47:38] Speaker D: And I probably listeners going, they're gonna call it a classic again. [00:47:43] Speaker C: But it. [00:47:44] Speaker D: I agree with Emmett. This is a incredibly underrated show. [00:47:47] Speaker C: And to give ourselves some stick, I [00:47:50] Speaker D: think the first time we listened to it out of context, we weren't prepared for it. I think we were really hard on it. I would like to go back and listen to Bunny Bummer, Bunny Bummer and the Magic Turks way. The reality is I'm just controlling myself. I could still keep carrying on about [00:48:08] Speaker B: this one part when they said the thing. [00:48:11] Speaker C: I mean, whether it's historically true or [00:48:13] Speaker D: not, I'm gonna say this one thing. I just loved the Bathsheba stuff. And they mentioned that her namesake had this nominative determinism with the rest of the town who were suspect of her because of her name and because of the loyalist stuff. And it's really funny that she accidentally. And I guess it's true in real life, like Bathsheba from the Bible was unbelievably good looking. And that seems to be true. But then they have the added irony of, like, the other characters around her. Like, Ezra is no King David, Joshua is no Uriah. [00:48:47] Speaker C: The Hittite. [00:48:50] Speaker D: So that added a little nice level of irony to it too, for this theological nerd. [00:48:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I have no idea what you just said. [00:49:00] Speaker B: I can't hear Hittite now without the Bill Murray. Like, how do you say this? Hittite. Hittite. All right. [00:49:07] Speaker D: More Tourette's words. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Tim, tell him stuff. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Hey, please go visit ghoulishdolights.com youm'll find other episodes of the podcast there. You can comment on episodes, let us know what you thought about them. Vote in a poll. Just say, like, here's what I think. Vote. That's how you do it. You can also find links to our social media pages. I'm doing better by posting on Twitter. That's a thing that happens. [00:49:30] Speaker D: It's threads now. [00:49:31] Speaker E: God, [00:49:34] Speaker D: social media can't keep up with it. It's like Facebook and Instagram had a boring baby [00:49:42] Speaker B: Faceogram. You can also link to our thread. The store buy some swag. And he pivoted. You can link to our Patreon page. [00:49:51] Speaker C: Are you narrating yourself in the third person again? [00:49:54] Speaker D: No. [00:49:55] Speaker M: He lied. [00:49:58] Speaker C: Yes. Go to patreon.com themorals and support this podcast. We are gonna speak of ourselves in the third person until you become a patron. [00:50:09] Speaker D: Damn it. [00:50:11] Speaker C: I'm losing my voice right now. [00:50:13] Speaker D: So I'm gonna skip all the great perks we have. You've heard it, you know it. It's gotta start making you feel guilty eventually. Go to patreon.com themorals and become a [00:50:23] Speaker A: patron today if you'd like to see us performing live. The mysterious Old Radio Listening Society Theater company performs somewhere almost every month, if not more than once a month. You can find out what we're performing, be it classic recreations of old time radio or some original work which we do a lot of. You can find out where we're performing and how to get tickets by going to ghoulishdelights.com or mysterious old radiolisteningsociety.com. if you are not able to attend any of our live performance performances for a number of reasons. If you're a Patreon, we film them. And that's part of your Patreon perks. You get access to that footage. So become a Patreon. Or come see us and have some great food and drink and come see one of our shows. All right, what's coming up next? [00:51:09] Speaker C: Next is my pick. And we will be visiting the CBS Radio Workshop for an episode entitled the Enormous Radio. [00:51:17] Speaker E: Until then, this is Crime Classics. I am Thomas Highland. Listen, [00:51:28] Speaker I: How is it we are riding Mr. Spooner's horse? [00:51:31] Speaker L: Why, dearie, we don't know a Mr. Spooner. [00:51:36] Speaker I: Aren't these Mr. Spooner's silver buckles? [00:51:39] Speaker K: No. [00:51:41] Speaker I: Aren't you wearing his clothes? [00:51:43] Speaker H: Bad boys, bad boys. [00:51:45] Speaker E: Get rid of them. Isn't what you gonna do when they [00:51:48] Speaker C: come for you, buddy Bombler?