Episode 269: The Clicking Silver

[00:00:16] Speaker A: The mysterious old radio listening society podcast. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Welcome to the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society, a podcast dedicated to suspense, crime and horror stories from the golden age of radio. I'm Eric. [00:00:35] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:00:36] Speaker D: And I'm Joshua. [00:00:37] Speaker B: We love mysterious old time radio stories, but do they stand the test of time? That's what we're here to find out. [00:00:43] Speaker C: I'm always delighted to bring a series to the podcast we haven't listened to before, and this week I found another one. The Clicking Silver is an episode from the Adventures of the Abbotts, a show based on a series of novels by Francis Crane featuring Pat and Gene Abbott, the husband and wife team with a knack for solving murders. The show ran from 1954 to 1955, starring Les Damon and Claudia Morgan, but was preceded by the Abbott Mysteries, another adaptation of the Crane novels, which ran from 1945 to 1947. Like the novels upon which this series is based, well, most of the novels. The title of each episode always includes a color. [00:01:20] Speaker D: The first novel in the Francis Crane series, the Turquoise Shop, was published in 1941 and was followed by more installments over the course of 24 years. One of them was entitled the Polka Dot Murder, so technically not a color. Mrs. Crane Born in Lawrenceville, Illinois in 1890, Frances Crane had her own fair share of adventures, including being expelled from Nazi Germany in the 1930s after publicly thumbing her nose at a broadcast of one of Hitler's speeches and claiming to be Jewish to despite her Scottish Presbyterian heritage. [00:01:57] Speaker B: The Abbotts certainly seem to borrow liberally from the predecessors Nick and Nora Charles, as well as Jerry and Pam North. But the Adventures of the Abbotts had their own copycat a series called It's a shame, Mrs. Collins, which even included a color in the title of every episode. [00:02:14] Speaker C: The Adventures of the Abbotts ran for a total of 35 shows, of which about half can be found online, as they were when rebroadcast by the Armed forces radio in 1957. This particular episode, the Clicking Silver, is one of those, although it was first heard on May 22, 1955. [00:02:31] Speaker D: It's late at night and a chill has set in. You're alone and the only light you see is coming from an antique radio. Listen to the sounds coming from the speaker, listen to the music, and listen to the voices. [00:02:47] Speaker E: After all, if you've got to keep your husband from going back to an old flame, well, you're not going to let anything like a double murder stand in the way now, are you? [00:03:12] Speaker A: The National Broadcasting Company presents the Adventures of the Abbotts starring Claudia Morgan and Mandel Kramer as Pat and Gene Abbott, those popular characters of detective fiction created by Francis Crane, whose current book is Death in Lilac Time. NBC invites you to join Pat and Gene each week at this time for another recorded adventure in romance and crime. Now here is Gene Abbott to set the stage for tonight's puzzle in. [00:03:55] Speaker E: Pat and I had been on a case in Pittsburgh when it was over, having been brilliantly solved by my Pat, who's a tremendous detective. We had an invitation from an old school chum of Pat's, Josh Fielding, president of International Steel. Josh invited us to drop by and tour his steel plant. Pat and I stood beside Josh as he led us past the huge boiling cauldrons of hot liquid steel. [00:04:30] Speaker A: You make quite a mean kettle of soup in those cauldrons, Josh. Yes, it's mean, all right, Pat. Some of it's up to 3,000 degrees now. If you look at that catwalk crossing over your head toward the cauldrons, what a terrific view. [00:04:47] Speaker E: Look at that catwalk. It's so far up. Look, Pat. Pat, that man up there. [00:04:54] Speaker A: Good heavens, he's falling. He'll fall into that hot steel. [00:05:11] Speaker E: I'll never forget the sight of that man as he fell past the girders, his hands clutching helplessly at the air, his face twisted and unsteady. Unspeakable fear. I would have passed out if Pat hadn't grabbed me and carried me outside. Sometime later, when I'd calmed down, we were in Josh Fielding's office. [00:05:32] Speaker A: Of course, we'll skip the rest of the tour, Mrs. Abbott. I'm sorry you've been so upset. [00:05:37] Speaker E: Oh, I'll be all right now, Josh. You seem to have done much better than I did. You've really taken it in stride. [00:05:45] Speaker A: Unfortunately, these accidents in my plant occur quite well, quite frequently. I become used to them. You are as used to them as a man can be. It's all part of the human equation. If we can't write disaster off now and then, we'd all go mad, wouldn't we? I'm sorry, though, that it disturbed you, Mrs. Abbott. I was hoping you'd feel well enough to. Oh, take a quick look at our research lab. [00:06:10] Speaker E: Thank you, Josh, but I'd rather not. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Pat, you know who works in there? Laura Stewart. Not the Laura Stewart. The belle of the Old Campus herself? Exactly. She turned out to be a remarkable chemist. I put her in my lab last year. Laura Stewart? Mm. Josh, you remember the night of college when Laura and I got accidentally locked in the gym? I never thought that was an accident, Pat? [00:06:34] Speaker E: No, not if I know Pat it wasn't. Darling, you never told me about that. [00:06:39] Speaker A: Well, he never told you about Laura Stewart. Why, he and Laura were locked in. Did you ever see anybody else in the old game? Watch the talk of the campus. She was a ravishing girl and. [00:06:50] Speaker E: Go on. [00:06:51] Speaker A: Isn't it. Isn't it awfully hot in here? Now, come on, Pat. Step into the research lab with me and say hello to Laura. She'll be so glad to see you. [00:06:59] Speaker E: I'd like to take a look at her myself. [00:07:00] Speaker A: Well, some other time maybe. [00:07:02] Speaker E: Let's go. Mr. Fielding, which way is it to the research lab? I've always been interested in research of various types. [00:07:10] Speaker A: I see. Well, it's right through that door down the hallway. Just follow me. Oh, oh, oh. Just a moment. Stand right here, please. That's the warning buzzer. It means that someone's coming out. We'll have to wait here a second. Let these men pass. Careful. Just stand back, please. [00:07:30] Speaker E: What are those men carrying? [00:07:32] Speaker A: Grams of radium. [00:07:35] Speaker E: What in the world? What noise is that? [00:07:39] Speaker A: A Geiger counter. [00:07:41] Speaker E: Oh, well, I've never heard one. Detects radioactivity, doesn't it? [00:07:46] Speaker A: Yes. We have to be very careful. All right, fine. This way to the lab, please. There she is, Pat. Laura Stewart. [00:07:59] Speaker E: Why, Pat Abbott. Oh, darling. [00:08:04] Speaker A: Hello, Laura. [00:08:05] Speaker E: Where have you been been all these years? Oh, you've got to give me a great big kiss for auld lang syne. Just you come here to. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Now, Laura, I'd like you to meet my wife, Jean. [00:08:15] Speaker E: I still haven't met anyone who sends me the way that Pat. Your wife. How do you do, Ms. Stewart? I'm always glad to meet an old friend of Pat. Hello, Mrs. Abbott. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Why don't you show Pat and Jean around the lab, Laura? [00:08:29] Speaker E: Of course. [00:08:30] Speaker A: Josh and I. Laura, I don't believe I've had the problem pleasure of meeting Mr. And Mrs. Abbott. Oh, yes. [00:08:35] Speaker E: Pat and Mrs. Abbott, this is Mr. Jordan. [00:08:39] Speaker A: Hello. [00:08:39] Speaker E: How do you do? [00:08:40] Speaker A: Tim Jordan's head of my research lab, Pat. Oh, that must be very exciting work, Mr. Jordan. Oh, it is, Mr. Abbott. Especially here at Josh's plant where he gives his free reign. [00:08:49] Speaker E: Josh, I'm going to be the first to wish you a happy birthday. [00:08:52] Speaker A: Thank you, Laura, dear. That's very sweet. [00:08:55] Speaker E: Oh, is it your birthday, Mr. Fielding? [00:08:57] Speaker A: Well, happy birthday, Josh. Thanks. And if you two don't join the rest of us at my home for a party tonight, I'll never speak to you again. [00:09:03] Speaker E: We'd love to. No, I' waiting for the party to Give you my present either. I'm going to be the first to do that. [00:09:10] Speaker A: Here, Laura, what a beautiful fountain pen. Why, it makes my present for Josh look sick. [00:09:17] Speaker E: Oh, don't be silly, Tim. It's nothing, really. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Laura, why don't you and Tim close up the lab and come over to my house right now with Pat and Jean. I'll mix my usual perfect cocktail. [00:09:28] Speaker E: Oh, no, I'm afraid I couldn't do that. I really couldn't. Well, I have too much work to do. You run along. I'll meet you there later. [00:09:38] Speaker A: Are you sure? [00:09:39] Speaker E: Yes, absolutely. You. Well, you go along with Pat and Mrs. Abbott. I. I'm sorry, I can't go now. [00:09:46] Speaker A: All right, Laura. You don't have to get so upset about it, dear. Tim, how about you? You can come with us now, can't you? I'm right behind you, Josh. [00:09:52] Speaker E: Note him. [00:09:54] Speaker A: What's the matter, Laura? You feel all right? [00:09:56] Speaker E: I feel quite all right. It's. Well, it's just that I. I have something here in the lab that I. I want you to look at. Tim, You. Well, you can go with them later, can't you? You. You don't have to go now, do you? [00:10:09] Speaker A: Well, it isn't a matter of life and death. [00:10:12] Speaker E: And don't. Don't go now, Tim. Stay here. I. I've got to talk to you. [00:10:16] Speaker A: All right, Laura. Just don't excite yourself this way. [00:10:19] Speaker E: I'm not excited. [00:10:21] Speaker A: Come on, Pat and Jean. We'll see these two later. Don't be late. Tim, you dragged Laura out of this lab whether she wants to work or not. It's my birthday and I won't stand for any nonsense. We'll be waiting for you at my home. [00:10:31] Speaker E: Bye, Pat and Ms. Abbott. [00:10:33] Speaker A: So long, Laura. See you later. [00:10:34] Speaker E: So nice to have met you, Ms. Stewart. [00:10:36] Speaker A: And by all, we won't be late. Here's the door, Pat. One of you men open the safety door. [00:10:47] Speaker E: Well, your old flame may be a very glamorous looking woman, Pat, but I'm afraid she's on the hysterical side. [00:10:53] Speaker A: Don't you know why? [00:10:54] Speaker E: Why? You got a theory? Mm. [00:10:57] Speaker A: It's cause she saw me again. [00:10:58] Speaker E: Oh, you can see. [00:11:00] Speaker A: Well, I always have that effect on her, darling. No gaga counter this time, huh, John? No, no, Pat. After all, as president of this company, I'm not going to steal from myself. We just take ordinary common sense precaution. [00:11:12] Speaker E: But ordinary precautions don't seem to work, Mr. Fielding. [00:11:16] Speaker A: Why do you say that? [00:11:17] Speaker E: Well, I was thinking of that man who fell from the catwalk and Was killed. Pat? [00:11:36] Speaker A: Yes, Laura? [00:11:37] Speaker E: We drank to Josh's birthday. So this time I'm drinking to you and me and certain memories. [00:11:46] Speaker A: To us, Laura. And I know which memories you mean, too. [00:11:50] Speaker E: Pat, you seem to be having a wonderful time. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Oh, yes, yes, darling. Laura and I were just talking about. About research. [00:11:58] Speaker E: Oh, were you? Come on. Pat and Mrs. Abbott, I want you to meet Dean Kennedy. [00:12:04] Speaker A: Hello, Laura. [00:12:06] Speaker E: Dean Kennedy, this is Pat and Gene Abbott. [00:12:08] Speaker A: Oh, how'd you do? [00:12:09] Speaker E: Hello. Dean Kennedy's head of the little college here in town. Have you heard of the Independence Institute of Technology? [00:12:16] Speaker A: It's a formidable name, Mr. Abbott, but a very modest school. [00:12:19] Speaker E: Oh, excuse me. There's the birthday boy. I want to speak to him again. [00:12:23] Speaker D: Josh. [00:12:24] Speaker A: Yes. Yes, Laura? [00:12:27] Speaker E: Would you do a favor for me? Could I have the fountain pen? Would you give it back to me? [00:12:32] Speaker A: Give it back to you? [00:12:34] Speaker E: It's really not the sort of present that I wanted to give you. And you've half a dozen pens already. [00:12:39] Speaker A: But I like it. Laura, I don't expect you to spend a lot of money on a fancy present. [00:12:43] Speaker E: Please, Josh, give me the pen. I want to get something else for you. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Don't be silly. You gave it to me and it's all over. It was a darn good looking pen, of course. Forget it. [00:12:51] Speaker E: Laura, will you please give me that pen? [00:12:53] Speaker A: No, no, no. Now, skip it, won't you? [00:12:55] Speaker E: Josh, give me that pen. [00:12:56] Speaker A: Not on your life. [00:12:57] Speaker E: Josh, come back here. [00:12:58] Speaker A: Laura, why are you so bothered about a silly old. [00:13:00] Speaker E: Oh, Josh. Let go of me, Pat. Josh, just wait, Pat. Look at her. Chasing after Josh up those stairs as though she were playing cops and robbers. She's determined to get that pen back. I know the reason why. Pat. He's falling downstairs. Pat. [00:13:23] Speaker A: Let me see him. [00:13:26] Speaker E: Call a doctor, someone. No, no, no. It was an accident. Is he all right? Is he all right? [00:13:36] Speaker A: He's dead. [00:13:38] Speaker E: I didn't know what I was doing. I was angry. I pushed him. I didn't realize that he was so close to the stairs. I didn't know. I didn't. [00:13:46] Speaker A: All right, Laura. [00:13:46] Speaker E: Easy now. [00:13:47] Speaker A: Easy. Look, I. I think Laura ought to rest for a while. She'll be all right. She's left alone. [00:13:53] Speaker E: Yes. [00:13:53] Speaker A: Yes, you're right. We'll wait in the other room, Mr. Abbott. Come on, Tim. All right, Dean. [00:13:57] Speaker E: I'll help you to that couch. [00:13:58] Speaker A: Had a girl, Jean. Now, if the rest of you will wait in the other room. Come on, Martha. [00:14:02] Speaker E: I say she killed him deliberately. [00:14:04] Speaker A: Please, Martha. Let's go, Dean. Certainly, Jean. All right, let's just get her on that couch, Gene. [00:14:12] Speaker E: Laura, stand up. That's right. Now lean on me. That's it. You've got to believe me. I didn't kill him. Mrs. Kennedy hates me and that's why she said that. Now, Laura, please lie back. That's. [00:14:30] Speaker A: I'll go into the dining room. I saw a bottle of vodka in there. I'll be right back. Gene, the phone is out in the hall, too. It's convenient. [00:14:36] Speaker E: For what? [00:14:36] Speaker A: I'm going to phone the police. [00:14:39] Speaker E: Now, Laura, just try to control yourself. You won't help things, acting this way. I wouldn't hurt Josh. I just pushed him. I didn't know. All right. All right. Now. Now, suppose you just light. Who turned them out? Pad. Pat. Come here. Pat. Patient. [00:15:05] Speaker A: Where the devil is that light switcher? [00:15:09] Speaker E: Oh, Pat. Oh, Pat. Someone turned out the lights. [00:15:12] Speaker A: Where did you get that letter opener? [00:15:14] Speaker E: Someone came into the room in the dark. I didn't know what was happening. I tried to grab them and I reached out and they. They shoved this letter opener in my hand. [00:15:22] Speaker A: Better put it down. Jane. [00:15:24] Speaker E: Yes. [00:15:25] Speaker A: I wouldn't help much if anyone saw you with that letter opener. Look at Laura. Laura. [00:15:30] Speaker E: What she. Pat, she's bleeding. Laura, what happened? Pen. Oh, no. Pat. Is she. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Yes, Jane. She's been stabbed in the heart. [00:15:51] Speaker E: Oh, Pat, I touched that knife. My fingerprints are on that knife. [00:15:58] Speaker A: Steady, darling. I'd better do a little bit of clue hunting before we let anybody in. Here. Let's see here. Oh, women have more junk in their pocket. [00:16:09] Speaker E: Path. Isn't that the top of the pen that Laura gave to Josh Fielding? Yes. [00:16:15] Speaker A: Now, there are other fascinating little items in here. [00:16:18] Speaker E: What, for instance? [00:16:19] Speaker A: Some letters from Dean Kennedy to Laura. [00:16:23] Speaker E: Oh, Dean Kennedy. That little man with the glasses. He's the most harmless, innocent. Good letters. Mm. [00:16:32] Speaker A: And you're not going to read them? I'm censoring them right now. [00:16:35] Speaker E: Let me see them. Come on. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Go away. These are not for little girls. Dean Kennedy. Mr. Jordan. [00:16:41] Speaker E: Yes, sir? [00:16:42] Speaker A: Is Laura dead? Yes, I'm afraid so. Oh, that's horrible. Horrible. The police are on the way. They'll take over. By the way, the three of you were in the other room before this happened. Now, tell me, did any one of you leave that room at all? Well, I went out to get another drink in the next room. I see. Dean Kennedy, I just wanted to ask you a question. Yes? Yes, Mr. Abbott. I found these letters in Laura's pocketbook. Were you going to buy them? Me, buy them? You heard me. All right, I. It is true. I. I did write Those letters I've tried to cover up because. Well, I. I'm married. I. I've worked for 10 years to get my job as dean at Independence. And any gossip, whatever it was, could have cost me that job. I. But I don't care now. I can't cover up anymore. We're all involved in a terrible murder. And now I certainly don't give a hoot what becomes of me. Dean Kennedy, if I were you, I'd try not to be quite so talkative. You think we might implicate ourselves? Well, we're in it up to our necks now, anyway. But I think we can save you a lot of embarrassment. Maybe even save your job. How? Go home. Right now, Everybody. You and Mr. Jordan go home. [00:17:57] Speaker E: But, Pat. Pat, the police are just the point. But the police will be here any second now. [00:18:01] Speaker A: And there's a chance, an outside chance, that we can wash this up without seeing all of your pictures smeared across page one of the local tabloid. But if we leave, the police will think I've handled policemen, Mr. Jordan, for a number of years. Now, don't you worry about what the police will think. Just go home while there's still time. Well, you're a detective, Mr. Abbott. I'll take your word for it. I'll do anything you say. So will I. I'll be at my home if you want me. You can depend on that. And what Dean says goes for me, too. I'm available anytime, Mr. Rabbit. [00:18:37] Speaker E: Pat, are you going crazy? [00:18:38] Speaker A: Why, darling? [00:18:40] Speaker E: Well, you've got a double murder on your hands and three suspects. Dean Kennedy, maybe his wife, and Tim Jordan, the research man. Do you question them? Do you hold them for the police? It looks as if we were in a picnic for the campfire girls and everybody can go home. [00:18:56] Speaker A: I want them all at home, Jean. Each in his or her own home. And speaking of the subject, you're going home, too. [00:19:04] Speaker E: Lloyd's will give you 100 to 1. You don't get me to go home, Jean. [00:19:09] Speaker A: Go home. [00:19:10] Speaker E: Not on your life. With two murders to solve. [00:19:15] Speaker A: Darling, do you remember the time in Mexico City when I got mad and spanked the daylights out of you? [00:19:22] Speaker E: Call before you come home. I'll be waiting up for you. Very much upset I went home. Pat swings quite a punch when he spanks. And the last time we had that kind of a session, I couldn't sit down for a week, so I went home. Meanwhile, as I learned later, Pat was traipsing around, of all places, in a car with a friendly policeman. [00:20:03] Speaker A: Now, I hope you know what the confounded bejeepas you're doing, Abbott? I think so, Sergeant. What'd you say this gadget was? That's a Geiger counter, Sergeant. Really? A simple gadget. Yeah, it's a fine way to solve a murder. Riding around all night with a silly box sticking out the window. Well, this silly box, Sergeant, is one of the most important gadgets in the world. You see, it detects radiation. Now, if there's any radioactivity near this Geiger counter, it starts to click. So what? Well, it's an exercise in logic. Look, Sergeant, what's happened on this case? Josh Fielding, the man who got the fountain pen, was killed. Laura Stewart almost went mad trying to get the pen back. She finally got it. At least she got the top half of it. Then she was killed. Must be quite an extraordinary pen, huh, Sergeant? Yeah, go on. People wouldn't knock each other off for a pen, even if it did right underwater. Now, why did Laura refuse to leave the research lab with me and Josh after she gave him the pen? And why did she refuse to allow Tim Jordan, the head of the lab, to go out? I don't see the connection. There was a gaga counter outside the lab, Sergeant. It clicked when we arrived. Obviously, because an employee came out of the lab with some radium. Radium? [00:21:15] Speaker E: Mm. [00:21:16] Speaker A: I even complimented the president of the outfit, Mr. Fielding, on his care and seeing that no employee got out of that lab without passing a Geiger counter. You know, radium is worth a fortune. Thousands of dollars a gram. Just the sort of thing you would conceal in a fountain pen if you were stealing it. Oh, yeah, yeah, I get it now. Sure. This tomato, Laura Stewart decides to get about 100 grand worth of radium out of the lab. So she sticks it in a fountain pen, gives it to the president, knowing that they wouldn't turn that gadget on when the boss walked through the door. Yeah, I see that all right. Then she goes to the party and figures she'll get it back. She'll give him a fancier looking birthday present and she'll keep the radium. They have a battle, she shoves them down the stairs, and I find the top of the pen in her pocket. Meaning somebody's got the bottom half with a fortune in radium inside. Dean Kennedy, Mrs. Kennedy. Or that Tim Jordan. And that, Sergeant, is why we are taking this delightfully cool evening ride in the car with a Geiger counter. It can spot radium in a mile area. So we're going to pass the home of each suspect. And when the Counter starts to click. That's where the radium is. I get it. That's the killer. Well, now that I've figured out the whole case, what are we waiting for? Yes, Sergeant, now that you figured it all out, what are we waiting for? Well, that's Tim Jordan's house right ahead of us, Abbott. He's the head of the research lab. All right, Sergeant, I'll turn on the Geiger counter. Okay, it's on. I'll stop the car. All right. Counter starts to click he's her man. Okay, listen closely, Abbott. Anything yet? Nope. Drive. All right, there's Dean Kennedy's house. Listen closely now, Abbott. Nothing doing. No, I don't hear anything. All right, it's the dean's wife, then. Maybe, Sergeant. Maybe. Oh, who else could it be? Here's our house. Dean's wife lives over there. You got that Geiger counter on? Yes. It's quiet. It sure is. Wrong again. I don't understand it. It's got to be one of the three. Sergeant, drive me home. Must be something wrong with the way I figure this out. But what the devil is it? Where did I go wrong? Okay, Abbott, home sweet home. Hey, hey, your wife's got the light on. I bet she's sore as a pup, you leaving her home while you work out the case. Only I haven't worked it out, Sergeant. There's something wrong. Hey, wait a minute. Holy Aunt Hannah. You hear what I hear? The gag account is clicking, but it's not clicking. All right. That means the killer's in your house. Abbott, don't tell me your wife took that radium. Don't be ridiculous. Let's go in. Hey, how do you like that gadget clicking like crazy? There's radium in that house of yours, Albert. There's a killer in there, too, with Gene. [00:25:15] Speaker E: Oh, Pat. [00:25:16] Speaker A: You got here just in time. Abbott. We were about to leave. Well, if it ain't Mr. Jordan. [00:25:20] Speaker E: Scotch, Pat. Oh, thank heavens you're here. It's Tim Jordan. He's the one who stabbed Laura. [00:25:25] Speaker A: I think your husband realized that, Mrs. Abbott. Sergeant, you can turn off that gaga counter now. Look, Jordan. Careful, Abbott, you're forgetting something. You've got the other half of that pen, Jordan, with the radium in it. That's just it. I have the radium with me in a needle that was inside the pen. [00:25:41] Speaker E: My arm. You let go of my arm. [00:25:43] Speaker A: Mr. Abbott, if you were there, please take one step toward me. I'll put this needle into your wife's arm. I suppose I don't have to be more specific about what would happen if radium is directly injected into Mrs. Abbott's arm. A very agonizing death, Mr. Abbott. Quite prolonged and unspeakably painful. And there'd be nothing medical science could do. Why, you know, I'm leaving now, Mr. Rabbit, and I'm taking your wife with me. Just to be sure my departure isn't interfered with, I'm taking with me in my car. If there's any attempt to follow me, I'll be forced to use the radium needle. You've got it all figured out very nicely, Mr. Jordan. You've had a good scheme ever since that man fell into the cauldron of hot steel. Was that an accident, or was he wise to the fact that you were trying to steal radium from that lab of yours? He overlooked the wrong conversation, let us say. Yes, but it was Laura Stewart who finally gave you the real opportunity. She had access to the radium. You must have known radium was missing. So you went through the same logic as I did. When she made the fuss about the pen, you realized Laura had the radium in it, so you stabbed her and stole it. But you were afraid Jean had noticed you in the dark, so you came here to make sure. I'm afraid I haven't any more time, Mr. Abbott. That is, we haven't, your wife and I. My car's outside. [00:27:04] Speaker E: And get moving. Mrs. Abbott. Let go of my. [00:27:07] Speaker A: Let them go, Sergeant. Don't try anything. Let them go, I say. Coming, Mrs. Abbott. [00:27:28] Speaker E: Tim Jordan gripped my arm with the radium needle about an inch from my wrist. The slightest movement and he would have jabbed it deep into my veins. Pat, who usually fight like 10 Marines, stood grimly watching us go out the door. My Pat wouldn't take a chance, however good it was on anything as dangerous as radium. When we got outside, Jordan took out the gun he'd been carrying. Made me get into his car. [00:28:07] Speaker A: I'll drive down this road, Mrs. Abbott. Then we'll turn left and hit the highway. I must warn you, we're followed by a police car. I should kill you instantly. Don't move, Mrs. Abbott. I can see everything you see, Mr. Jordan. [00:28:22] Speaker E: All I want to do is powder my nose. That's a woman's privilege. [00:28:27] Speaker A: Well, all right. [00:28:30] Speaker E: I don't see why you should worry about a girl's powdering her nose. I'll just. [00:28:36] Speaker A: My eyes. My eyes. [00:28:39] Speaker E: Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Jordan. I'll just take that gun of yours. Look out. We're going off the. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Jean Jean, darling, Wake up, darling. Jean. You're in the hospital, darling. Oh, [00:29:19] Speaker E: Jordan. Tim. Jordan. I blew the powder in his eyes. [00:29:26] Speaker A: He was very smart, sweetheart. But you should have waited until you were at the stoplight. You know, you knocked over a lamppost, an ice cream truck and a fire hydrant. Of course, no one minds about the first two, but there's a little French poodle who's awfully sore at you for ruining his favorite hydrant. [00:29:46] Speaker E: What happened to Tim? [00:29:48] Speaker A: He's in the claim. And your picture is in a paper with a very fancy headline. [00:29:53] Speaker E: Oh. [00:29:53] Speaker A: Daring girl captures radium killer. It's a nice picture, too. [00:29:59] Speaker E: Do. Do I look pretty? [00:30:03] Speaker A: Fair. [00:30:06] Speaker E: Prettier than your old flame, Laura Stewart, maybe. Bat. [00:30:14] Speaker A: Hmm? [00:30:16] Speaker E: Tell me the answer to the biggest mystery in this case. [00:30:19] Speaker A: The biggest mystery. What's that? [00:30:22] Speaker E: What happened when you and Laura were locked in the college gym all night? [00:30:25] Speaker A: Darling, that was before you and I were married. [00:30:27] Speaker E: Well, I still want to know. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Do you see the gorgeous flowers I brought you? [00:30:32] Speaker E: Stop stalling, darling. I hate people who stall about a question and change the subject. [00:30:39] Speaker A: Gene, what happened with you and that airline pilot when you got caught in the rain in that Paris hotel? [00:30:44] Speaker E: Say, they are beautiful flowers, aren't they? [00:31:06] Speaker A: Adventures of the Abbots has come to [00:31:08] Speaker C: you through the worldwide facilities of the [00:31:10] Speaker A: United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service. [00:31:23] Speaker B: That was the clicking silver from the Adventures of the Abbotts here on the mysterious old Radio Listening Society podcast once again. I'm Eric. [00:31:32] Speaker C: I'm Tim. [00:31:32] Speaker D: And I'm Joshua. [00:31:33] Speaker B: Tim brought this to us. This was his pick this week. I'm gonna rattle out a couple of things at the top here. Number one, I am always astounded when there is something that is brought to my attention in old time radio that I've never even heard of. Like, how does a title elude us like that? So that's the first thing I found interesting. Second thing was, I'm glad it was in the introduction, is the idea that, yeah, this is formulaic and steals heavily from the Norths and that concept. And the last thing I wanted to say at the top was I. I was pretty much on board. I was on board. I thought, okay, I know it's formulaic and it's not an original thought and I like the acting. I even like the thing. And then he spanked her and I could not recover from that. It took me out. [00:32:26] Speaker D: I was like, whoa, my. Sorry, I'm laughing already. I apologize to any listeners who've had spanking abuses done to them. But the fact that he says or she mentions, like, in Mexico City. And I think it saved it for me because I might have been in Eric's camp, but the specificity of a Mexico City spanking felt like there was something. Some euphemistic thing I was not understanding about Mexico City. [00:32:54] Speaker B: Spanking is a whole other series that we've never done yet on this podcast. Outside of that, I did think this was pretty decently done. [00:33:05] Speaker D: I'm gonna say one thing, then I'll let Tim actually talk about finding this. But it's funny because I thought, wow, Eric's gonna like this. Because it gets to the castle, like, within two minutes, some guy falls off a catwalk into molten steel. And I'm like, Eric's probably on board. [00:33:20] Speaker B: I'm very on board. I liked the plot. I liked how it moved. I liked the performance, especially of both. I forget their names now. Of both the Abbotts. Oh, sorry. And we'll get to you in a second. Here's the last thing I wanted to say. [00:33:33] Speaker D: Tim, can you just step out for a second? [00:33:36] Speaker B: One of the reasons I think we've never heard of this, and this is something that I've learned from the two of you. Title is everything. The Adventures of the Abbotts. It sounds like a soap opera or a Father Knows Best show. It doesn't say what this actually is. [00:33:53] Speaker C: I have no idea. In the period, if people know the novels, I'm like, ah, I recognize what this is. [00:33:59] Speaker B: That would help. But even for a book, if this was the name of the book, you'd be like, oh, that sounds boring. That's a terrible title. [00:34:06] Speaker D: The parents must have been popular enough to be published consistently over the course of a quarter century. [00:34:11] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:34:12] Speaker D: But I agree. They should have called it the Mexico City Space. [00:34:15] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly. I think the title does a disservice to. After listening to that episode of what this Is, but that was all my thoughts. Tim, how did you find this? [00:34:29] Speaker C: It's probably not too much of a mystery of, like, how did you come to this particular series of like. I found a list and started the A's. But there's the concept of, like, oh, even if it's a knockoff. Nick and Nora Charles, Mr. And Mrs. North. Like, that's fun. I'd be happy to hear that. And I started listening to the existing episodes, and I like, oh, I didn't like that so much. Oh, this one I didn't like so much. And I heard this one, and I got to the spanking, went, nope, I'm out of there. [00:35:00] Speaker A: Stop. [00:35:00] Speaker C: And I backed out and I. By this point, I had to put, like, I've listened to a lot of these. I'm kind of committed now. So I went back to this one because it had that guy just falling off the girder, like, right off the bat. And everyone's reaction is so weird. [00:35:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:18] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. Are you okay, ma'? Am? [00:35:21] Speaker B: Right, right. She's in shock and she's. She needs help. [00:35:26] Speaker C: And I got to the end and realized, oh, I get what this is. In the same way that Eric, I think you've often said, like, if I knew this from the start, I would have listened to it in a different way. And I got, these are terrible people. They are narcissistic and cruel to each other and awful. And the thought of, like, a Nick and Nora Charles sort of mystery with horrible people. [00:35:53] Speaker B: Right. [00:35:54] Speaker C: I know it wasn't written as parody, but I kind of like listening to it like that. [00:35:57] Speaker A: Right. [00:35:58] Speaker B: That's an interesting take. Yeah. [00:36:00] Speaker D: Nick and Nora weren't great people either. [00:36:02] Speaker B: No, they were. [00:36:03] Speaker C: But particularly the end of like, so your wife has been kidnapped. What do you do? Well, I wait till she turns up and then I critique her escape method. [00:36:18] Speaker D: That was your plan. That was. [00:36:19] Speaker C: You did nothing to try to help her. [00:36:21] Speaker B: I think that the basic premise of the story holds water. Of trying to sneak out the radium. [00:36:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:29] Speaker B: In a pen, knowing that he wouldn't be checked. They could make a lot of money off of it. Of the plan of getting the gift back and then panicking. All of that, I thought was really a good, suspenseful premise of a story. [00:36:44] Speaker D: I also really liked the subversion of the detective trope of Gather all the Suspects when he's like, send them all home. Gather the suspects. [00:36:54] Speaker B: However, you could have used the Geiger counter while they were standing there. [00:36:56] Speaker C: Yes. Yes. That is more of a more contemporary knowledge of Geiger counters of, like, a mile away. You can detect a lot of radium, but a few grams. You got to get up snug and close, but. [00:37:07] Speaker B: So if he would have kept them there and just put the Geiger counter on their face. [00:37:10] Speaker C: Yes. [00:37:10] Speaker D: The drive by Geiger countering is pretty cool, though. [00:37:14] Speaker C: And the twist of, like, it's at your house was. Was. Yes. [00:37:17] Speaker B: There are parts of this that I really liked, including production value. And I thought, and this is going to be interesting to see your reaction. I thought performance by everybody wasn't. Was great. There wasn't anything. I was like, oh, that's terrible acting. [00:37:30] Speaker C: I will see. Like, this is derivative and formulaic, especially having heard more of them. That is a true critique. But that being said, there's some crazy, weird, fun stuff that came out of it. [00:37:41] Speaker B: I firmly believe it's the title. Oh, that's gotta be one of those family shows about Billy's late for school. That's the premise of this week's show. I believe that's why we don't know about this. I thought that's what you had given us. And I sat down and said, tim, what are you doing? And when I found out it was a murder mystery husband and wife team. Are they husband and wife? [00:38:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:01] Speaker C: They weren't in the first novel. [00:38:02] Speaker D: They're just spanking partners. [00:38:07] Speaker C: Every episode does start with a quote from her. That is some sort of trying to be romantic with my husband quip. But there's a murder happening. It's always some variation of that. [00:38:17] Speaker D: Yeah. I'm also a sucker for radium. I don't know why it's such a tragic, horrible story. Everything about radium from the curies, not realizing how. [00:38:27] Speaker A: Radium. [00:38:27] Speaker B: The Radium Girls. [00:38:28] Speaker D: Yeah, the Radium girls. All of it. But for some reason, it's just always fascinated me. It was in so many products. I looked this up. I mean, I knew the clocks and the watches to glow for dials. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Campbel. [00:38:39] Speaker D: So it was in. Practically. It was in toys. They used it for night lights. Toothpaste, heating pads. You would go to radium soaks in health spas. Like mud full of radium. [00:38:52] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:38:54] Speaker D: According to two sources I found online, it was a treatment for impotence. [00:38:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:59] Speaker B: It would give you impotence. [00:39:01] Speaker D: A treatment for impotence. It's like, wow, finally I can get it up, but all my pubic hair has fallen out. [00:39:09] Speaker B: Weird. [00:39:10] Speaker C: On the spanking thing, that. That is my first go through when I stopped. And like, I can't bring this. And it is not so much. There's the almost comedic thread of like, I'll give you a spanking. But her reaction was like, no, he actually gave me a spanking. It was a real thing. [00:39:23] Speaker A: Right. [00:39:24] Speaker C: That makes it so like. [00:39:26] Speaker D: But shortly after, she makes a reference to like, oh, and last time we had that kind of session, I couldn't sit for a week. [00:39:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:35] Speaker D: Which makes it sound more like it's this mutual. I have always interpreted this weird 1950s spanking thing. It shows up in I Love Lucy. It shows up in some other radio shows. It showed up in a Mr. And Mrs. North that we listened to on our Patreon happy hour. That I always took it less as some sort of telegraphing about domestic violence and more like a under the radar for censors kink thing. It's a generic kink stand in. I hear you. That, like, here, I agree with you. Like, the first time he mentions it, she seems scared, and that is unsettling. [00:40:09] Speaker C: Convince her to do what he wants. [00:40:11] Speaker B: Yes, but I couldn't sit for a week. Could be interpreted as. [00:40:15] Speaker C: Yes, it could. It could be interpreted as not from [00:40:17] Speaker D: a spanking, but when you say session two, that seems to suggest something else. And that is generally my takeaway from the 1950s spanking jokes that run rampant through entertainment and Mexico City. [00:40:33] Speaker C: This is not necessarily a threat of there will be spanking. It is the promise of if you stay home, there'll be a session. [00:40:40] Speaker D: I don't know if it bothers someone. I'm in no way trying to explain why they shouldn't be. [00:40:45] Speaker C: Like, I did. I stopped because that seems too much. [00:40:48] Speaker D: That's always how I've read the spanking jokes. [00:40:50] Speaker B: But as I said, I've always written them as infantilizing women. [00:40:53] Speaker D: Yeah, well, yes, that's built into it. But the reason I always take it as code for some kind of sexual innuendo is because they didn't seem to actually try to hide domestic abuse. I mean, think of the honeymooners, like, one of these days, pow to the moon. They weren't trying to be subtle about that. Like, so to me, that's how I always interpret these things as purely sexual, with a wink and nod. And yes, you're right, it's infantilizing. It's all those things. It's not fun. I don't find it hilarious except for when Mexico City is attached to it for some inexplicable reason. [00:41:31] Speaker C: It is true, because part of what also made me think that, like, these are awful people is the whole through line of, oh, my ex girlfriend. Oh, we were trapped in a gymnasium together. I might have actually got us trapped in there. Oh, she's dead. But it's still kind of a worrisome issue between us. [00:41:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I forgot about that part of this whole thing. [00:41:50] Speaker C: The ex girlfriend. And also that she dies with no impact on him. [00:41:55] Speaker D: Yeah, no, none whatsoever. [00:41:56] Speaker C: It's all that I wanna flirt until you're gone. [00:42:00] Speaker D: It's a very cozy murder mystery where no one has any emotional response to the deaths. [00:42:06] Speaker C: Yes. [00:42:06] Speaker D: At the same time, all the violence is really gruesome. Falling in a molten pit of steel. Falling down the stairs is really stabbed [00:42:14] Speaker B: with a letter opener. [00:42:16] Speaker D: Yes, through the heart. And even the threat at the end [00:42:19] Speaker C: to inject her with radiation. [00:42:21] Speaker D: Yeah, that's. [00:42:22] Speaker B: That's a hard drive to hold a needle at someone while you're driving. That's pretty easy. Slap away and get out of the car. It's not a gun. [00:42:34] Speaker C: He did switch to a gun, though. [00:42:35] Speaker B: I thought, okay, listen, put on this tourniquet, then slap the arm. [00:42:43] Speaker C: This to your arm. Now, if you do anything out of line, inject yourself with this. [00:42:47] Speaker B: Radiant injection is a hard way to hold a hospital. [00:42:52] Speaker D: But part of it's just that fear that it's radium. It's just one prick. And you could use this. [00:42:58] Speaker C: This was 54. [00:43:00] Speaker B: Okay. So we had come to the point then of understanding that radium was terrible because as Joshua just pointed out. [00:43:07] Speaker C: Right. They were saying, specifically, if you're injected with radium, you know what's going on. [00:43:10] Speaker B: So it was no longer in our toothpaste, and we taking baths in it and in Campbell's Soup. We're never going to get Campbell's Soup as a sponsor. [00:43:17] Speaker E: Now [00:43:19] Speaker A: come to Mexico City. [00:43:21] Speaker B: It was not in Campbell's Soup. Except for Campbell's Creamy Radium. [00:43:31] Speaker D: There's also that hurtful moment in which they identify the dean as harmless because he's a little man with glasses. And I was like, I'm a little man with glasses. [00:43:40] Speaker B: And I got a news for you. You're harmless. [00:43:43] Speaker D: We'll see. I got this radium needle, buddy. [00:43:49] Speaker B: We should have done this episode before the beers. Any other thoughts, gentlemen? [00:43:56] Speaker C: I honestly thought that you guys were gonna hate this. [00:44:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I did. And then I didn't. And then I did. For the same reasons, Tim, that you turned it off. But what saved it for me, honestly, was I thought the two leads were excellent radioactors. I really did. I thought the support cast was really good. But I think that also has a lot to do with, hey, here's the adventures of the Abbotts. And I'm about to listen to a half an hour of people having dinner and trying to solve Billy's homework problem. That's what I thought I was heading into. [00:44:30] Speaker D: And it moves from thing to thing, like you said so quickly. Yeah. Is entertaining, whether you find it offensive or not. And I mean, even in the end, I was surprised. Surprised by the fact that they let Jean save herself. [00:44:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:48] Speaker D: And then the tables are turned, too, that she's had these discretions in her past. That final gag about the pilot and the rain and the hotel in France, and she's like, never mind. Right. [00:44:59] Speaker C: Because they're both horrible. [00:45:01] Speaker D: Yes. And I think. I didn't think of it. [00:45:04] Speaker C: That way. [00:45:04] Speaker D: But now that you say it, like, yeah, that's why it's fun. If you worry about a character and if you're like, oh, those poor people, then I think it's easier to be turned off by it. But it's performed in such broad strokes, and everyone's careful. [00:45:18] Speaker C: They're very quick and disposable. [00:45:20] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:45:20] Speaker B: It's not witch's tail speed, but it's close. [00:45:23] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:45:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:24] Speaker B: I also have an issue. I get so mad when I hear in storytelling of any kind, before I met you and before we were married, I was with somebody else. And being mad about that, like, yep. Well, no, I hate that premise. Like, yep, there was another life before me. [00:45:44] Speaker C: It gets ground here because as soon as he sees her, he's like, well, hello. Yeah, because he's terrible. Because he's a horrible person. [00:45:53] Speaker D: All right, let's send it to a vote. [00:45:55] Speaker B: Joshua, you're first this week. [00:45:57] Speaker D: It's obviously from a really hardcore analytical point of view. A curate's egg. Right. There are things that obviously do not stand the test of time in here. [00:46:08] Speaker B: I don't know what a cure its [00:46:09] Speaker C: egg is, but, yes, curet is fertile [00:46:15] Speaker B: when two carrots love each other very much. [00:46:21] Speaker C: Never mind. I'm thinking of Curate's Nest. [00:46:23] Speaker D: Yeah, I was just thinking the curate's nest, and I was like, it sounds really cozy. All right, so everything we've already said about this is all true, good and bad. So I think it is obviously not a classic, but. But I think it stands the test of time, largely depending on your tolerance for spanking humor. I mean, it really is. And ultimately, I guess I'm laughing because I think it turned around and suggested to me that this was a mutual little bit of banter back and forth. Not a woman who is really under any sort of threat or danger. So that is why I laugh at it. Again, this is something we would find hilarious in a contemporary piece of entertainment. No, but I was surprised by its sprightly pace and how it ultimately ends up being really quite entertaining. So historically interesting, for sure. Test of time is variable. [00:47:22] Speaker B: I think I've said everything. I like the premise of the plot. I like the acting. I think the production value was good. It was super. Absolutely is of historical value in the sense that. What. Where did this come from? What show is this? I'm really thankful you brought it so that I could listen to it, but overall, I don't find it anything that I want to listen to more of them. Yeah, I get it. It's formulaic. And I'm glad I know about it. And it had its moments. How about that as a category, it was not a fish with human teeth. [00:48:00] Speaker D: See, I was gonna say it is a fish with human teeth, which is what made it awesome fish. [00:48:04] Speaker C: This fish is great. Look at this teeth. [00:48:07] Speaker B: Go back to last week's podcast to get the joke. That would be a Stan Lee thing that he'd write in the corner. [00:48:13] Speaker D: Editor's note. [00:48:14] Speaker B: Editor's note. C. Captain Marvel number 14. [00:48:18] Speaker C: Smiling Stan. Yes, it is exactly the experience I went through of like, I'm listening to it, it's moving so frenetically and weird that the characters are a little hard to sympathize with, but they're fun to listen to. And then suddenly there's the spanking. And that seems like that's so much. But then by the time you get to the end, it does seem like this is a couple that has wide, wide ranging boundaries of what is acceptable to them. [00:48:49] Speaker D: That's a good way to put it. [00:48:49] Speaker B: I love your take on how you're set up. And if someone said, these are terrible people, I love that, Tim. Like, oh, well, then I've got a whole new take on what I'm listening to. [00:49:00] Speaker C: Yeah, it makes me like, I kind of want that series of like the Jerk Thin Men series. [00:49:05] Speaker D: It's like the Seinfeld of married Detective radio show. [00:49:12] Speaker B: All right, Tim, tell them stuff. [00:49:13] Speaker C: Please go visit ghoulishdelights.com as home of this podcast. You can. You can find other episodes that we've done there. You can comment, leave messages, let us know what your thoughts on this were. You can also send us messages like, hey, please stop talking about fish teeth. That's a fair thing to send us a message about. Oh, no, you can never link to our social media pages. You can link to our threadless store and get some mysterious old radio swag. And you can link to our Patreon page. [00:49:43] Speaker D: Yes, go to patreon.com themorals and support this podcast. As I mentioned last week, we are gearing up for a big Patreon pledge drive promotion full of exciting benefits for not just patrons, but everybody. We are going to give our listeners a sneak peek of what they can expect from Patreon. And even if you can't support us on Patreon, we're also just going to thank you, our listeners, with some extra stuff. And this week, I think we're getting close enough that I can reveal one of the things we'll be doing as part of our Patreon Pledge month is listening to another five part Johnny Dollar serial and we will release that one. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Tim and I just found that out. Now our pledge month is hosted by Jerry Lewis. He's not gonna sleep. [00:50:37] Speaker D: Oh no. [00:50:38] Speaker B: An entire month. [00:50:39] Speaker D: Not until we find a cure for fish with human teeth. [00:50:46] Speaker B: If you'd like to see the Morals a theater company performing live audio theater, you can go to mysterious old radio listeningsociety.com or better yet, go to ghoulishdelights.com that's your better bet and you can find out what we're performing and where. Each month on stage we do classic old time radio show recreations and a lot of lot of our own original work. As of now, the September here of 2022, we are currently the Bryant Lake Bowl Theater in uptown Minneapolis. Please, if you're in the area, get a ticket, come see us. If not, buy a ticket online, watch us online. And you can watch that anytime you want if you buy a ticket. So again, ghoulishdelights.com to cease performing radio theater. What's coming up next? [00:51:32] Speaker D: Next we have a listener request. We will be listening to the debut episode of Box 13, the first letter until then. [00:51:42] Speaker B: So it was no longer in our toothpaste and we're taking baths in it and in Campbell's Soup. We're never going to get Campbell's Soup as a sponsor. [00:52:05] Speaker A: The makers of Campbell Soup present the mysterious old Radio Listening Society podcast. [00:52:25] Speaker E: Look out.